“YAH JUNG JAEMI!” I rolled my eyes and sighed. I had been at my locker fretting at just how many days were left before auditions. After auditions, the countdown to grad began, and after grad was final show case. However, Key’s screeching interrupted my thoughts.

“what?” I peeked out and watched him come at me, Tiffany scurrying behind him.

“ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?! WHY DIDN’T WE WALK TOGETHER THIS MORNING?! BETTER YET, WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER MY TEXTS?!” Tiffany was rubbing her one ear, probably because of how loud he was.

“My Dad dropped me off super early and I knew you and Jonghyun went out and would be tired. Geez, I just wanted to tell you in person” I shut my locker getting my books for first period.

“Well what did you say?” this time Tiffany put her hand over Key’s mouth.

“We’re going to grad together” a look of utter excitement and happiness took over their face but faltered.

“Wait. So he didn’t actually ask you to be his girlfriend?!” Tiffany exclaimed.

“Well…” I avoided eye contact suddenly remembering all the feelings I felt that night.

“well…?” Key stood with one hand on his hip.

“It didn’t go as planned…” both of them were clearly confused. “I asked him what were we and he said we’re whatever I want us to be, and then I said I don’t know, and then he said don’t know or can’t say, and then I didn’t answer and then he basically told me that I needed to admit to my feelings and confessed that he liked me and then I was stupid and said well I guess the cat’s out of the bag for both of us and I kissed him?” the words literally flew out of my mouth, jumbling together. I flinched unconsciously, anticipating a slap from Key. When I felt nothing, I slowly opened one eye and saw them both beaming with smiles on their faces.

*

“Jae, I’m telling you the only way you’re going to improve this performance is by looking up and adding more feeling into it!” Key exasperated. The days flew by, making today the last day before auditions, and I had been practicing in front of him for two hours now. I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how hard I tried. I slumped down and sulked beside him, and groaned.

“Why of all things did I choose to do a love song? Why didn’t you knock some sense into me?” I whined to him.

“Because this love song works in different ways! It’s not just a song for a lover, but someone else who is significant!” Just then the group came hurdling into the practice room.

“You guys! Enough practicing! Let’s go out and have fun to energize ourselves for tomorrow!” Leeteuk cheered. I glanced at the clock noticing it was only five, and thought about going out. Everyone here was auditioning, therefore we wouldn’t be staying out too late, and it wasn’t like I was sweaty and smelly.

“Oh come one Jae! It’s Friday! Auditions aren’t until tomorrow at one. Let’s have fun tonight!” Tiffany begged. I smiled and nodded my head agreeing to go, and everyone started cheering and talking about where we would go that night. I went to get my bag and pack up my stuff, but Donghae had already done so and was smiling at me carrying my bag. I smiled and he offered me an arm, confidently I took his arm and we walked behind everyone else, closing the practice room.

As we were walking back to the parking lot to get into cars, it had been decided amongst the group chatter that we would head over to a pizza place and then over to this club that Tiffany suggested. She said she had gone there all the time with Jessica and them, and there were no gross erts and they had a strict drinking policy. They let in everyone who was 18 and turning 18 within that same year, so the place was heavily body guarded, but apparently it didn’t take away from the atmosphere and the fun.

I joined Donghae’s car, and I saw the looks and winks everyone gave me and just shook my head. A rush of annoyance came over me, where it came from I wasn’t sure, but as I plopped down into the seat next to Donghae in the car, he looked worried. I didn’t notice at first, and I guessed it looked like I was fuming, because he didn’t come any closer. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed with how everyone was acting about Donghae and I. I had told the two, and he told Eunhyuk and then it spread to the group, and somehow the whole school knew. I’d get looks and whispers every time I walked by, or I would see people staring and whispering when I was with him. Donghae may be blunt and may not be afraid to be curious and ask questions, but he could be pretty oblivious. It was either that or he was really good at ignoring people. I gave out a huff and unconsciously crossed my arms and legs, leaning back into the seat.

“Babe?”

“What?!”

“…your seat belt.” I quickly put it on and resumed my earlier position. He began to drive and would glace over at me, and I did feel bad about snapping at him. A few minutes later I gave up, uncrossed my arms and put my arm by his stick shift. He took my hand and gave it a tight squeeze, switched gears and then held my hand again. He didn’t say anything, knowing that I would cave soon and confess my thoughts to him.

“it feels so uncomfortable! Everyone is giving us attention because of our relationship. I can’t go one moment in public where someone isn’t whispering, snickering, winking, giggling, talking or gossiping about our relationship? What are we?! Celebrities?!” I exploded all of this in the car. I noticed Donghae turning left instead of right, which was the way we were supposed to go.

“so you don’t like being seen with me?”

“No, it’s not that-“

“You think we look funny?”

“no! that’s not what I’m saying-“

“You don’t want to be seen with me as your boyfriend?” I looked at him and saw a focused look in his eyes.

“No! I really like you” I objected too quickly “I do, but I just don’t like how people are treating us. It’s like we’re some new hot product that everyone has to gossip about. Everyone’s watching my every movement around you, waiting to call me out on one wrong move so that you’ll leave me! I can’t have one perfect moment with you!” he shut off the engine. We were at the Han River parking lot again, looking out into the river. “what are we doing here?” he turned his body in the driver’s seat towards me, and patted his lap. I blushed, “Hae we’re supposed to meet up at the pizza place”, again he patted his lap. As I crawled to him, he stretched one leg out over the middle, and the other still bent beside the steering wheel. I sat on his lap facing the steering wheel as he wrapped his arms around me a buried my head into his neck, drawing soothing patterns on my back.

“Is this about Jessica?” I thought about it, and the whole thought of what she’d do to me freaked me out. I sighed and nodded my head, snuggling into him more. “Don’t think about her. Even if something were to happen to the two of us, I wouldn’t go back to her” he held me tighter, and I relaxed more into his touch. We sat in silence, just enjoying our alone time together. We didn’t get much of it, in all honesty. At home, Mom was always around, at school, everyone was around, and it didn’t help that everywhere we liked going, people of our school frequented. It was nice to just have him to myself in this moment, and if you called me selfish I would’ve agreed. Over such a short period of time Donghae meant something more and more to me, and it scared me. I fell so fast for him, that I’d fall just as hard if he left me.

“Stop stressing” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head. We sat like that for a little while, until I heard his stomach growl and we both laughed. Finally we headed off to the pizza place to meet everyone else.