“Umma!” Taemin yelled, “UMMA!!!!”  Key finally heard little Taemin and ran into the room.

       “What’s the matter, Tae?” Key demanded of the kid.

       “B-B-B-B-B-BUUUUUUGAAAAAH!” At the sound of that dreaded three-letter word, Key then screamed so loud that families in America could hear him!  But not loud enough to grab Jonghyun’s attention, who was busy writing the new SHINee song while listening to their previous hits on his mp3 player.

       “Jonghyun OPPA~A~A~A~!” Key shouted, putting 37.23460 ounces of diva in it.  This time, however, Jonghyun heard.  And responded.  Immediately.

       “Yes, my darling, wonderful, and amazing Key?”

       “Get that bug and you forgot ‘y!’”

       “Oh, okay, my darling, wonderful, amazing and y Key!”

       “Better, but you need to put more feeling in it next time!”

       “Of course, my darling, wonderful, and amazing Key!”

       “You forgot ‘y’ again, Oppa . . .” Key sighed.

       “Dang it! Oh, I’m so sorry my darling, wonderful, amazing, and y Key! Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Naega naega naega munjuh Nehgae nehgae nehgae bbajuh bbajuh bbajuh party baby Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Noonee booshuh booshuh booshuh Soomee makhyuh makhyuh makhyuh Naega micheo micheo baby,” Jonghyun sang to his beloved Key.

       “The bug is crawling away, Appa,” Taemin squeaked as Minho walked into the room.

       “I’ll get it for you, Baby!” Minho called, making a big deal out of lifting his foot to step on the bug, when Diva Key stopped him by announcing that he would get bug guts all over the floor.  Then Onew and Miley walked in, well, Onew walked in, carrying Miley.

       “Onew! We need you to use your chicken to get this bug!” Key shouted.

       “W-w-w-w-why, my Miley!!!” Onew cried.

       “Onew,” Jonghyun said in a would-be comforting voice, if it wasn’t Onew’s chicken we were talking about. “We really need your chic-Miley to get rid of the bug.  It’s scaring Tae and it-she will really help.”

       “No.  Just step on it.”

       “I was about to, but Key is afraid that bug guts will get all over the floor,” Minho added.

       “Because they WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLAAAAAAH!” Key diva-whined.

       “I’ll clean it up,” Minho negotiated.

       “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That just spreads it and the germs will still be there!” Key groaned.

       “Oooooooooooooooooooooooh . . . it’s a flying buggy,” Taemin said, amazed. “OH! It’s a pwetty butterfly!” But the pretty butterfly made a big mistake . . . it landed on none other than- Miley!  Onew screamed so loud that people all over the world could hear him.

       “ONEW SHUT UP,” Key screamed. “YOU’RE MAKING TAE CRY!”

       “Sorry,” Onew cried, “It’s just that the bug was going to eat my girlfriend; that’s my job!!!!!”

       “I . . . Don’t . . . Care,” Key growled dangerously.

       “I don’t care geumanhallae niga eodieseo mwol hadeon ije jeongmal sanggwan anhalge bikyeojullae ijewa ulgobulgo maedallijima cause I don’t care e e e e e e cause I don’t care e e e e e e cause I don’t care e e e e e e cause I don’t care e e e e e e Boy I don’t care,” Taemin sang, getting on Key’s nerves.

       “TAEMIN SHUT UP! THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION AND YOU’RE NOT HELPING!” Key snapped, which made Taemin cry.

       “Key, darling,” Jonghyun said while hugging Taemin so he would (hopefully) stop crying. “I think you owe Tae an apology.  You really hurt his feelings and he was just singing.  You didn’t have to snap.”

       “I can snap if I want to, Oppa,” Key snapped, “And I don’t owe anyone an apology! If anyone owes an apology, it’d be you because you forgot ‘wonderful, amazing, and y!’”

       “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!” Jonghyun shouted, “YOU SNAPPED AT OUR SON WITHOUT A GOOD REASON! WHY WOULD I CALL YOU ‘WONDERFUL, AMAZING, AND Y?!?!?!”

       “OH, REALLY?!?!” Key demanded, “DO YOU THINK YOUR LIFE WOULD BE BETTER WITHOUT MY YNESS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

       “It’d definitely be better without your divaness,” Jonghyun muttered.

       “BWWWOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAH~ ~ ~?!?!?!” Key divaed, “ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!?!?!”

       “SO WHAT IF I AM? YOU BARELY PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME ANYWAYS!” Jonghyun shouted.

       “FINE! I DON’T NEED YOU EITHER!” Key shouted back.  By now, Taemin was in Minho’s arms and covering his ears with tears streaming down his face. 

       Onew was just sitting in a corner eating Miley, his chicken drumstick girlfriend.  He had been dropped one too many times as a child and had a strange disease called Onew Condition.  It’s a serious disorder in which the victim becomes a terrible klutz that is totally and completely obsessed with chicken.  The very first case was Lee Jinki, better known as Onew.  That’s how the illness got its name, and since Onew was the first subject of this insanely contagious and incurable disease, he has the strongest case the world has ever faced.

       “WELL I NEVER NEEDED YOU!” Jonghyun roared.

       “FINE, WELL WE’RE OVER!” Key retorted.

       “FINE, SEE IF I CARE,” Jonghyun cried.

       “FINE, I KNOW I DON’T CARE! TAEMIN, DON’T EVEN START!” Key shouted, making Taemin cry even harder.

       “FINE,” Jonghyun replied.

       “Fine,” Key responded coolly, trying to show that he didn’t care.

       “Fine,” if Key could not care, Jonghyun didn’t have too either.

       “Fine.”

       “NOT FINE!” Taemin exclaimed in tears.

       “It’s okay, Baby,” Minho whispered while Taemin’s hair. “You need a haircut, Sweetie.”

       “But I like my long hair!” Taemin disagreed.

       “It makes you look like a girl, Silly,” Minho teased gently.

       “But-” Taemin started, but was interrupted by Minho saying that he could get hair extensions instead.  The maknae hesitated, but eventually agreed when Minho started kissing him.

       “THAT’S IT! I’M OUT! OUT OF THIS, OUT OF SHINee, OUT OF EVERYTHING! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Key divaed as he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.