The concert ended around eleven at night but as people exited adrenaline was still pumping through their veins as they whole heartedly sang the songs they just heard. I was drained. My body called for a warm bath while my feet just wanted to be put up on a nice footrest. Everything from seeing Luhan again and just standing for a span of two hours pained me to the point I just wanted to drop to the ground and wait for some higher being to take me. I couldn’t do that though. I wanted a bed and a hot shower.

            I headed for my car when I got a phone call. It was from Xiu Min, “Yobeseyo?”

            “Oh Hee jin! Did you see our concert? Wasn’t I handsome?” Xiu Min sounded full of energy on the other end of the line. I giggled at his last question while heading to my car.

            “Very handsome Min Seok shi. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

            “Ay, don’t joke around.”

            I reached my car and opened the door when he asked, “What to join us for a late night celebration? I’m sure Luhan’s been dying to see you. It’s been a long time right?”

            It had been a long time, but Luhan didn’t want to me. I knew that much after the concert. As much as I wanted to see the other guys, seeing Luhan and confronting him was something I didn’t want to do, “Maybe next time, oppa. I’m really tired. I’m surprised you’re not.”

            “Oh, alright Hee Jin shi. Well get some rest okay?”

            “Okay, oppa. You too. Goodnight.”

            I put my phone away and slipped into the driver’s side of the car with a huff. The strain all of this was getting to me. We needed to talk. I pulled out my phone again, scrolled through my contacts and found Luhan’s name. My finger hovered over the call button. Should I call or just text him? I hit the call button.

            “It’s now or never.” I mumbled as I pressed the phone to my ear hearing it ring. One ring, two, three…

            “Yobeseyo?”

            Everything froze inside of me. My voice got stuck in my throat and my heart stopped beating for a brief second. I gulped, ready to say something when he hung up on me. The line went dead and I was left with the annoying buzz. I dropped the phone along with my head. My forehead met the steering wheel hard, it hurt. Everything hurt. I lazily stuck my keys in the ignition letting the vibrations of the car kick start the organs in my body. Robotically, I sat up straight, placed both hands on the wheel, and drove back home.

            ~*~*~*~*~

            The next morning I stayed in bed. Doing nothing but rolling around from side to side looking at my phone, contemplating whether my hunger or need to use the bathroom was important enough to where I had to get up. Eventually my bladder won.

            I wandered around my apartment for the rest of the day tidying things up that were already neat and straightening out papers that were already in order. Everything I did was tedious, but it kept my mind preoccupied. I caught myself a few times close to tears but blinked them away faster than they came.  The time I finally gave up on cleaning was close to nine o’clock at night. Deciding not to wallow any longer, I got up to change into some decent clothes when my doorbell rang.

            My heart sank. If my hunch was right, it would be Luhan. No one else ever really visited me. Walking up to the door, I could just picture his face and I could see myself falling. I couldn’t take this anymore. I loved Luhan. Whether or not it was the Luhan from EXO or Luhan from Beijing China, I didn’t care. I loved him and couldn’t take the fighting anymore.

            With one last breath, I opened the door ready to meet my fate.

            “Hey.”

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