I'm back once again with another oneshot~ ^o^ 

 

This fic was actually meant for Valentine's Day but since I was super busy that time, I wasn't able to finish it on time. I hope you guys are still interested to read this though lol. 

 

I know a lot of you have requested for another KrisBer fic and so here it is. I can't really call this a masterpiece because my mind's practically in two places and I have no idea what I was writing actually XD 

 

Sorry again if I took a long time to update another oneshot >.< Summer classes just started and my attention is very much divided right now but then again, I'll try my best to update when I can. 

 

Oh and by the way, thank you so much for the upvote and hello to my new subscribers :D

 

 

---

 

 

 

“Hey, Kris hyung...”

 

 

“….hmmm…what?”

 

 

“Kris hyung…”

 

 

“….”

 

 

“KRISSSSSSSSSSSSSS HYUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“….hmmmleavemealone…I’m tryin’a defend my alpaca army….”

 

 

“KRIS HYUNG, WAKE UP! ZiTAO JUST ORDERED ANOTHER LIMITED EDITION GUCCI BAG USING YOUR CREDIT CARD AGAIN!”

 

 

“WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?! I TOLD THAT LITTLE ER TO NEVER---The ? JONGIN? What’s the meaning of this?! It’s still ing 1:00AM, you bastard! Why’re you smiling like that----“

 

 

“APRIL FOOLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

 

 

April fools?  SMTOWN might have just recently ended and this might have been Wu Yifan’s first actual sleep in like decades –which was ruined by Jongin in just a matter of thirty minutes, but Yifan was certainly in the right mind and today was definitely not April 1^st. He did find it somewhat strange how the so-called dancing machine was grinning like a candy-high psycho child, hands raised up in the air proudly as if he just conjured up some elixir . Kids these days…wait, I ain’t that old!

 

 

“Yifan, I heard a----ASFKGLERMTW OH. MY. GOD. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!” Luhan –who looked as fresh as a new born baby (how the hell is that even possible?!), walked inside the room in  a flash, mouth agape and eyes bugged out much like a deer caught in the headlights. Nothing made sense to Yifan right now. “JONGIN, WHAT THE DID YOU DO?!”  Oh boy. This must be bad.

 

 

“Okay you’re really freaking me out, Luhan. What the hell did Jongin do exactly? It’s not anything extreme…right?”

 

 

“Ummm….” The newly blonde male avoided eye contact, his untrimmed toenails suddenly interesting. He forlornly pulled the confused leader to his feet, glaring intently at Jongin at the same time as he brought Yifan face to face with the mirror.

 

 

Yifan remained unfazed, eyes still droopy from the zombie apocalypse of a song promotion. Uncharacteristically, his chest began to vibrate from a slow steady laughter to an annoying wheeze then progressed to a bewildered scream of anger and horror. His inner dragon was awoken as his eyes blazed in sheer fury, knuckles clenched tightly on what was left of his dark locks. If looks could kill, the abominating electric razor tucked carelessly behind Jongin’s back pocket would have shrivelled in flames from his penetrating stare. Maybe he’d set Jongin on fire too…watch him squirm and beg for mercy…yeah.

 

 

“JONGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU—WHY DID YOU---MY HAIR! YOU ING IDIOT, I’M GOING TO KILL YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” fumed Yifan, backing Jongin against the wall as he grabbed him by his collar, bringing him to his eye level.

 

 

“B-But you’re not supposed to be mad! It’s April fools’ day!”

 

 

“April fools’ day? Are you freaking kidding me?! It’s not even April yet!” joined Luhan. He was clearly unimpressed with the young dancer’s misdeeds and what, right after a bloodshed month of never ending live shows.

 

 

“YES IT IS! I read it on Kris hyung’s calendar I swear! Look!” Out of God knows where, he pulled out of what seemed like Yifan’s calendar. “See, you even encircled the date! Told ya today’s April fools’ day!”

 

 

Leave it to Jongin to decipher an English Gregorian calendar like a . Yifan tore his gaze from the nuisance before him as he read the contents, specifically the one marked with a red heart shape. . He desperately wanted to cry man tears. Why. Just why did he had to be the victim of Jongin’s stupidity. Just…ugh, stupid.

 

 

“Jongin…today’s not April fools’ day…not even close…”

 

 

“WHAT?! But it clearly says 1-4-13. How can today not be April fools’ day?!”

 

 

Luhan shook his head disapprovingly, knowing all too well how his dongsaeng’s fate might end up like. There’s a thin line between ignorance and stupidity, and apparently Jongin possessed both unfortunately. He definitely messed with the wrong person. The doe eyed dancer watched his six foot tall duizhang gradually curl into a foetal position, banging his head against the floor boards; he swore he heard a string of curses escape from the elder’s lips, slowly being muffled by his unmanly sobbing.

 

 

“Umm…duizhang, are you---“He was cut off immediately as Yifan (still in the same position) begrudgingly pointed at the accursed piece of which was the calendar, not Jongin. Luhan gaped as his eyes widened ten times its original size.

 

 

2-14-13~Valentines date with Amber <3

 

 

So maybe Jongin’s also an accursed piece of after all. I mean, how can anyone not notice the 2 and the large February written in bold, capital, and glittery letters? Oh right…he’s Jongin.

 

 

“Huh? W-What did I do wrong? Uhh, why are you guys looking at me like that? Holy frappa, i-is that what I think it is? Oh, would you look the time. I gotta go---GAAAHHHH STAHPPPP…ARGH…KRISSS…HYUNGGGG…CAN’TBREATHE…HALPPPP--GCK” Jongin continuously pleaded as Yifan –who couldn’t help himself anymore, pounced on the tanned boy and practically strangled his neck like how Homer Simpson would have done to Bart.

 

 

“WHY YOU LITTLE ING PIECE OF TARD. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUHAN HAND ME THE DAMN ROPE NOW!”

 

 

“WHAT?! NUUUUUUUUUU I’M SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYNAEGANAEGA-HMPFH….” Once Yifan finished his ministrations, he calmly sat right on top of Jongin’s expertly bounded body, enjoying how the latter writhed helplessly beneath him. (HAHA my dirty mind’s messing with me XD)

 

 

“Errr…duizhang, don’t you think you’re a bit too you know…harsh?”  The menacing glare shut Luhan’s mouth in an instant.

 

 

“TOO HARSH? TOO HARSH?! LUHAN, DO YOU NOT SEE THIS,” he bitterly pointed at the ugly bald spots on his head, “JUST HOW CAN I JUST NOT BE A TINSY BIT TOO HARSH WHEN LITTLE MISTER SWEENEY TODD HERE PRACTICALLY DEFORESTED MY SWEET BEAUTIFUL HAIR AND ON ING VALENTINES’ DAY NO LESS! WAIT…Oh sweet baby Jesus…TODAY’SVALENTINES’DAY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOLYICAN’TBELIEVEIFORGOTANDNOTPREPAREANYTHINGATALLMYGIRLSFRIENDSGONNA FLIPAPE!” He whined childishly, kicking his freakishly long legs like an untamed spoiled brat, occasionally whacking Jongin with his never-been-washed alpaca plaything.

 

 

Amber is so going to hate me! Yifan can’t even count the forgotten birthdays, working on holidays, no show and no gift on previous heart’s day….half-assed  promises…

 

 

WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND AM I?!

 

 

It’s not like he choose to be that way. He loves his girlfriend more than anything, okay? The whole world’s just against him, that’s all. Absolutely nothing was ever in odds with him. Much like the situation now, a total ing bad luck named Kim ing occupational hazard Jongin just had to happen. Of all days he could spread his fiendish virus, and of all people he could have chosen, he had to choose Wu Yifan and on friggin’ Valentines’ day, the critically most awaited day of the year where he can just cuddle and spend the entire day with his beloved Amber. Ohwoopdeedoo.

 

 

“Did something die? I heard screaming and---“

 

 

“GET OUT, JOONMYEON! I’M HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN HERE.” And a wild Joonmyeon appeared with the purest of intentions, a pink apron wrapped neatly around his waist making him look like the fluffiest housewife ever.

 

 

“Well sorry for caring. My God, what happened to your hair? And why’re you sitting on top of Jongin? Why is he tied up and---oh wait, what did he do this time?”

 

 

His ‘daddy’ senses must be tingling. Yifan rolled his eyes, jolting a bit as his cheeks vibrated from Jongin’s sudden nervous laughter.

 

 

“Bufhyufiejfeeefdsledaef!!!!”

 

 

“Uh, what?”

 

 

“Isefifeflsdfkemkgldgefedff!!!!!!!”

 

 

“Kris, can you please untie my son?”

 

 

“NO!” Son my !

 

 

“KRISTINE, UNTIE MY SON, NOW!

 

 

“OH YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME----“

 

 

“Kristine.”

 

 

“YOU BETTER SHUT IT OR I’LL----“

 

 

“Kristine.”

 

 

“ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO THIS ALL DAY----“

 

 

“Kristine.”

 

 

“CAN YOU PLEASE STOP EMPHASIZING THE ‘tine’----“

 

 

“Kristi----“

 

 

“ALRIGHT ALREADY! STAHPPPPPPPP!” Joonmyeon smirked victoriously. Who knew he had a bit of demon within him. Reluctantly, Yifan freed Jongin from his death trap, not wanting to hear another ‘Kristine’ from the EXO-K leader. “THERE! HAPPY?!”

 

 

“Oh why thank you for that, Kris…tine.” Yifan sent him a dirty look, as well as to Luhan –who couldn’t contain the giggles from bursting from his lips.

 

 

“Oh why thank you for that, Kristine….” mimicked the EXO-M leader, forgetting that Jongin was free from his clutches and within just a millisecond, he was sent toppling over to the cold, hard floor.

 

 

“JOONMYEONIE HYUNGGGGGGGGGGGGG---OW OW OW OW!”

 

 

“DON’T YOU ‘JOONMYEONIE HYUNG’ ME, MISTER! GO SIT IN THE TIMEOUT CORNER AND THINK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!”

 

 

“B-But….”

 

 

“NOT BUTS! TIMEOUT CORNER. NOW!”

 

 

“…Okay…”

 

 

Both Yifan and Luhan gaped at the scene, amazed at how the elder handled the situation. Wow, he’s really scary…almost like Amber…on her period.

 

 

“Now that’s taken care of,” Joonmyeon suddenly shifted from the scary monster-in-law, back to his usual caring father figure. “What exactly happened?”

 

 

“Before I answer, I’m just curious. Why the hell are you wearing that ugly apron? And what, at 1:00AM? Daddy’s intuition or something?”

 

 

Joonmyeon flushed deeply, speedily discarding the offending material. “Correction, it’s a minute before two in the morning and yes, sort of. Sehun wanted to eat blueberry crepes.”

 

 

“AT THIS HOUR?” The no-longer apron cladded leader shrugged his shoulders, muttering a ‘kids these days’, as Yifan countered a ‘we’re-not-that-old’ look.

 

 

“Anyhow…back to the main issue. Can you please sum up the situation, ‘cause I still need to warm up Sehun’s chocolate milk.”

 

 

What is he? Five?! Seriously, he’s spoiling that brat.

 

 

“You know, you just said that out loud…”

 

 

.

 

 

“Uhh, heard that too.”

 

 

The midget’s a ing mind reader now?!

 

 

“Yah, I’m not a midget! You’re just jealous ‘cause you look like a mutated alpaca-giraffe!”

 

 

I really need to stop saying everything I think…

 

 

“Yeah, you shou---“

 

 

“Let’s pretend you didn’t hear that! As I was about to say earlier, your demon barber of a son over there claimed today’s April fools’ day which is actually ing Valentine’s day and he thought it would be funny to do this to me. To make the story short, LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO MY ING HAIR!!!!!!! I CAN’T FACE MY GIRLFRIEND LOOKING LIKE THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME. I SIMPLY CAN NOT OKAY?”

 

 

“But your calendar said----“

 

 

“ THE CALENDAR! AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN TIMEOUT?!” Jongin whimpered back to his corner, still playing the innocent card.

 

 

“Joonmyeon, please tell me you actually can help me with…this. If not, can you just leave me alone so that I can sleep this off and hope that this’s just all a messed up nightmare. Take the kkamjong and deer boy with you too.” He really couldn’t take it anymore. Probably from the lack of sleep, mostly from Jongin’s antics and ­oh dear God, is it bright already? Perfect. He lost track of time and now it’s broad daylight. Just…perfect.

 

 

“Wow, it’s 4:00AM already? Crap, I forgot about Sehun’s milk! Look, I’m going to help you but right now I need to tend to the kitchen before the kettle explodes. Just sleep it out. Don’t worry, okay? I promise the moment you wake up tomorrow—oh I mean, two hours from now, your hair’s going to be flawless and about your date…I’ll think of something. I’ll deal with Jongin and Luhan too. Now, sleep.”

 

 

Yifan wanted to retort but clearly Joonmyeon appa knows best as his eyes were betraying him, slowly fluttering to its most awaited slumber. He tiredly dragged his feet towards his untouched bed, and as soon as his body came in contact with the sinfully comfy comforter, he fell asleep in an instant. He even forgot the fact that the three -a-teers were still present in his room.

 

 

“…I really thought today was April Fools’ Day…”

 

 

 

So, Joonmyeon was precisely right on the spot. At exactly six ‘o clock –two hours after the fiasco, he was woken up by an alarm set up by none other than daddy-o himself. If it wasn’t for his grumbling stomach and the faint sent of Joonmyeon’s famous crepes, he would have just hid beneath his covers and escape from the world until his hair grows back. Surprisingly, he felt lighter the moment his toes reached the last flight of the stairs. Holy , Joonmyeon was right! I wonder what he did to my—

 

 

“Holy , what happened to your hair?!”

 

 

Wow, perfect combination and timing. The floor should be swallowing him whole by now.

 

 

“B-Babe? What’re you doing here? Where’s everybody---OMFG what happened to my hair this time?”

 

 

To his absolute horror, his girlfriend –casually dressed in a lovely rather feminine red dress shirt paired with figure hugging jeans and a pair of studded ballerina shoes, was standing right before him and no, the floor still hasn’t consumed him from this utter embarrassment of a scene. This is the help Joonmyeon promised?! Why I ought to---

 

 

“Ohmyllama…you look so cute!”

 

 

--set the kitchen on fire and---WAIT WHAT?

 

 

“I look what?” Out of the sudden, Amber locked him a bone crushing hug, pecking his cheek affectionately.  Okay, so the world’s now on his side?

 

 

“By the way, I loved the roses you sent me earlier. Cheesy but really sweet of you. I thought you’d forget again.” She really doesn’t like to repeat herself. Oh wait, roses? Damn, Joonmyeon’s definitely outdone himself! I should really thank him for everything. “But really, what’s with this photo? Is this your way of seducing me or something?”

 

 

Or maybe not.

 

 

So this why he wanted me to sleep, huh.

 

 

Just when the day had started to go his way, it turned out for worse…again. Clutched between Amber’s fingertips was a Polaroid photo of him, from the waist up. Only his boxers with a large heart shape print right in his crotch area to cover his privates, and his neck was adorned with a bowtie while his s were enclosed with red heart-shaped outlines. A ‘my body is ready for you, baby xoxo’ caption was attached to the bottom of the photo.

 

 

Oh God, kill me now.

 

 

“Umm I can explain---“ His brain stopped functioning properly the moment her soft, plump lips came in contact with his. On impulse, Yifan responded immediately to the kiss, dominating every movement. With the pending need to breathe, Amber was first to break the languid lip lock, bringing her lips to her boyfriend’s weak spot –his earlobe, nipping in lightly.

 

 

“I guess your plan’s working. “ She cunningly untangled herself from his arms, her backside now facing him.  She then tilted her head back to him, winking bewitchingly at him, and suggestively wandered into the dim hallway, disappearing in one of the empty bedrooms.

 

 

Oh my God…

 

 

Yifan didn’t think twice. He ran to where his lover was awaiting his presence, not even caring about his stupid hair issues anymore.

 

 

Screw it!

 

 

The rest of the day was filled with new, unforgettable memories added to their history. Nothing mattered, just him and her against the world and its ed up minions.

 

 

 

BEST. DAY. EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

T____T I'm not really sure if any of it made sense...

 

It's officialy 12:05 PM and I'm starving I could even eat a damn car *A*

 

Errr, I'll be right back to correct any typos or grammatical errors >.<

 

Anyhow, please leave comment so I'll know if you enjoyed the fic or not XDD