/knocks/

“It’s me.”

“Yeah, come in.”

Kibum strolled in with his head down the whole time. He stopped by Jonghyun’s bedside and mumbled something. He didn’t want to sound like he just cried. That stupid nasal sound that he hates always comes out when he tries to speak after the waterworks.

“Huh?”

“I said, what did you call me for. You told me not to bother you today.” Ugh stupid nasal sound.

“I need to ask you something important.” He gestured for Jinki to leave the both of them alone and Jinki obeyed. Though Jinki was the older of the three, he had high respect for Jonghyun because of his selflessness. Jinki took his leave and suddenly the room was filled with a heavy feeling. This. Is. Not. Gonna. Be. Good.

“Kibum, were we ever-“

“When are you able to get out of this hell hole?” Kibum interrupted him, not wanting to actually discuss this topic just yet. He wanted himself to be steady and Jonghyun to be well before talking about their relationship status.

“Uh, tomorrow’s the last day. Why?”

“I’ll pick you up with Jinki hyung okay?”

Jonghyun nodded and stared after Kibum as he stood, ready to leave. “Yah! Where are you going? We didn’t even start!” “We did. I’m not feeling well, I’ll come again tomorrow.” Kibum bit down hard on his lips hard as he turned away from Jonghyun. He couldn’t his emotions weren’t in control yet. Not yet. Not today.

“No, stay. Please.”

Jonghyun grabbed his hand and pleaded. Kibum’s heart nearly stopped beating. He was totally surprised at this bold action. I mean sure they held hands before but this time, Jonghyun was the one who initiated it first. Irritated at the constant tugging at his heart of whether to give in or not, he sighed and sat back down. He gave Jonghyun an expression that doesn’t lose to the faces of bricks. It wasn’t until when Kibum tried to reach for a glass of water, did he realize that Jonghyun’s hand was still holding tightly to his. Kibum’s face flushed and his mind went blank for a moment. “What’s he doing? Why isn’t he letting me go?” Kibum, for the first time that day, lifted his head and saw Jonghyun’s face becoming clearer in view, meaning his face was getting closer and closer. Wait, closer? They were only 3 inches apart! What the hell is he doing? Kibum’s mind started to yell and trash about but his body was immobile. He didn’t know how to respond, if he should move forward, stay still, or move back.

Oh my god, now he’s closing his eyes and getting closer. What what what I need to calm down. Kibum! Think! Think! His face is getting really close. Wow, he looks totally hot. His face… Ugh, not now! I can’t be thinking of this now!

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Jonghyun’s eyes snapped open and gave Kibum an innocent look. “What?”

“Why on earth was your face so close to mine?!”

“There was something in your eye! I wanted to blow it out for you!”

“Really. Then why did you close your eyes?”

“I didn’t! I swear!” Jonghyun insisted. Wow, what a lousy excuse dude.

Kibum really hoped that the latter meant what he said, about the dirt in his eye. Because he swore Jonghyun looked like he was trying to kiss him. But he doesn’t remember, so why would he do that? Kibum shook his head hard and tried to dig out what Jonghyun said was in his eye.

“It’s okay, I got it man.”

“Thanks.”

The room was once again filled with awkwardness. It’s both depressing and good at the same time. Depressing in such a way that the both of them were never, and I mean NEVER, had nothing to say to each other before. Good, because he knew that the topic was being avoided.

“Alright, so tomorrow you’ll be here? We’ll go out again?”

“Yeap, of course!”

Kibum smiled gently and regarded that as a sign that he should go.”Well, bye then. See you.” “Bye~” Jonghyun stretched his arms out to hug Kibum. He gladly accepted and left the hospital.

But he really looked like he was going to kiss me. Did he remember? Or did Jinki tell him? Ugh, I can’t trust that man. I should probably trash it out with him. But what if he kept his promise? Can I just ask him? Should I? No I will not. He’ll think I don’t have faith in him, and then he’ll get angry. Oh I’m talking to myself. Calm. Down. Think of Jonghyun. Jjong. Jjong. Jjong… and Kibum finally got rid of his frown and broke into a smile.

 Back in the hospital, Jonghyun was left to face the shadows of his past that he forgot. Bits and pieces of memories were coming back and they were all about Kibum. And that incident where there was something in Kibum’s eye?

“Sorry Kibum. I just suddenly felt the urge to kiss you. It’s like I’ve been wanting you for a really long time.” He muttered into nothingness.