I think you will need something for this chapter...

Enjoy~ ^^

The words poured from Jiyong's mouth before he could stop himself, and it was all he could do to keep himself from clamping a hand across his mouth when he realized his mistake. Dammit! Shut up, Jiyong! Just shut up!

Jiyong watches, breath held in, as Seungri tried to move his head enough to see to the bottom of the bed. The mattress lay flat, and Seungri couldn't see enough to notice his leg. But that didn't stop him from asking the question.

"Huh, it's weird," he began. "My leg really doesn't feel hurt at all, hyung. Just a dull throb."

Jiyong clenched his fist and grit his teeth, swallowing the huge lump that has formed in his throat before opening his mouth to speak. Seunghyun moved closer, preparing himself for whatever will come because he knew Jiyong is in no shape to do this alone.

"Seungri ah, about your leg..." Jiyong began, closing the hand of his good arm tightly around the younger's fist.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I CAN'T DO THIS!

The younger of them looked at the leader, patiently waiting for him to continue. Jiyong knew Seungri was prepared for bad, but he realized that the little one had no idea exactly what is coming at him.

"Hyung, don't tell me it's gonna take time to heal. You know I can go crazy just laying around the house." Seungri glanced at Jiyong, as though he know what was about to come.

Shaking his head firmly, Jiyong bit his lower lip and tried desperately to force back the odd watering sensation forming in his eyes.

"Seungri ah, please, just... listen. I.. I don't know how to say this."

Jiyong chose to paraphrase the doctor, deciding that the less emotional he is telling Seungri, the better chance he has at saying it out loud.

"There was a lot of nerves and muscles damage. Both bones were shattered," Jiyong said, trying to suppress the apologetic tinge in his voice.

"We were exposed to the elements for a day and half. Without medical care, infection set in, Ri. They... did all they could, but..."

"Don't... don't say it, hyung." Seungri broke, now looking at his hyung with intense look.

Jiyong would have done anything to follow Seungri's command, even if it meant taking his dongsaeng's place. Tears welled in his eyes and he wiped them away angrily, pissed that his emotions had dared betray him when Seungri needed him the most right now.

"I'm sorry, Seungri ah. So sorry... It just... they..."

"I mean it, hyung. Don't..." Seungri threatened again with pleading eyes, unwilling to hear the words. Don't say it, hyung. If you don't say it, it won't be true.

"Hyung, please ask Jiyong hyung to shut up. Bring him back to his bed... He's not feeling well..." Seungri looked at his Seunghyun hyung, asking for help. He didn't want to hear it.

"Seungri, they couldn't save your leg," Jiyong finally blurted out, looking at Seunghyun for support and reassurance that he'd done the right thing.

"That's not funny, hyung." Seungri laughed, struggling to prop himself up on elbows that was weak from fever and lack of use.

"I'm so sorry, Ri..."

"Take it back! Take it back, you bastard!" Seungri shouted, tears falling down his pale face.

Jiyong flinched as Seungri lashed out verbally at him, wishing with everything he had that he actually could take back what he said, and for that matter, he wished he could take back the whole stupid trip he'd dragged Seungri on.

But Seungri wasn't really listening to anything Jiyong had to say, he didn't really care about it anymore as he continued his rant.

"How dare you say something like that to me??" Seungri screamed continuing to dwell on Jiyong's announcement.

"You... out of all people, hyung..."

"I'm so sorry, Seungri ah," Jiyong cried helplessly, not even care about the tears falling down his face now.

Jiyong's mind was spinning out of control, desperately fighting for something to hold onto as he tried to figure out what to do next. Seunghyun seemed at lost too. Jiyong suddenly wished Youngbae was here, more than anything he wanted his best friend to appear in that doorway and tell Seungri to get hold of himself. Hell, he wants to tell Seungri to get hold of himself, that it wasn't the end of the world. But the words just didn't seem to form, and at some points, Jiyong knew it was because he didn't believe them himself.

Standing unsteadily, Jiyong inched the tiny distance between the chair and Seungri's bed, drawing himself up to appear taller and wiser despite the pain it caused in his tender upper body.

"Seungri ah..." Jiyong began, but didn't get any further.

"I want to see for myself," Seungri demanded, interrupting the leader. His voice shaking uncontrollably and his hands quivering to match.

"Help me up, hyung."

"Seungri, please..." Jiyong didn't know for sure why he was so against it in letting the maknae to see the leg for himself. Maybe because it will be the final confirmation, and once Seungri look down at it, there is no way Jiyong could pretend it wasn't true.

"Seungri ah..." Seunghyun broke the silence. He didn't sure what to do.

"I have to do it, hyung." Seungri insisted, but still sound wavered. Jiyong gave in with a weak nod to Seunghyun.

Jiyong pressed the button on the motorized bed to raise the head up, but Seungri seem to be too stubborn and impatient to wait, immediately began struggling to right himself. Seunghyun sprang to action, gripping his maknae under the armpits and lifted the weak young man with little effort.

Seungri didn't say a word as the outline of his missing leg came into the view, but the reaction was quite noticeable. With a low whimper, Seungri began shaking harder. His breathing becomes shallower and the heart monitor began shrieking.

"Seungri ah!" Jiyong panicked.

"Maknae,you've got to calm down..." Seunghyun as he immediately settled Seungri back against the now upright head of the bed.

Jiyong rested on the edge of Seungri's bed and circled his fingers firmly around Seungri's stiffened arm.

"We're going to get through this, Seungri. You, me.. Us.. Together. I just need you to calm down for me. Breathe, Ri. Please..."

Seungri turned his glassy eyes on his hyung, unaware of the moisture on his cheeks, or maybe just not caring.

"Help me get the blanket off," he asked, voice flat and emotionless.

The monitor slowed just enough to go into a steady rhythm.

"Ri..." Jiyong warned, not liking where this was going. Even he hadn't seen Seungri's leg without the blanket on it, having turned away or closed his eyes every time the nurses came to clean it and change the bandages.

"I... have to see, the whole thing," Seungri continued, with the hiccups from crying.

"It's not real until I see it."