I lay in my bed quietly. The morning sunshine is shut outside by the heavy dark drapes pulled over the windows. In the cool quiet semi-darkness, I let my thoughts run freely. When I tire of staring at the ceiling, I will turn at glance at the empty bed in the room next to me.

Memories of when this room was so crowded and boisterous are still fresh in my memory. How long has Kyuhyun left? 3 months? Half a year?

I can’t quite recall now.

A while after this room resumes its silent, peaceful, sterile state, I finally receive the news I have been waiting for.

“Jongwoon-sshi, your cancer cells are multiplying suddenly at a very fast rate.”

The corner of my mouth pulled up into a sardonic smirk.

“Thank you for the good news, doctor.” I said with genuine gratitude.

The doctor was taken aback, he stared at me silently for a long time.”Jongwoon-sshi –“

“I’m fine, doc. The wait has been way too long.” I assure him.

My thoughts went back to the day after Kyuhyun passed away. His brothers were all silent packing his stuff. I watched them quietly, as if I am watching a unreal drama on tv. He was the bond between his family and I. Without him, I’m just a stranger.

Lost in my thoughts, I wasn’t aware when Jungsu had made his way to me. “Jongwoon-sshi.”

“Hmm?” I looked up in surprise.

“Thank you for