Ever since when he was young, Woohyun was a supersensitive child, easily affected by emotions. Not only his own emotions, but emotions of his family, friends, people around him. Every one said he had a big heart, he cared for everyone. It didn’t take something bad happening to him to make him cry – he embraced every tragic story he heard as if it was his own.

Now, as tears started to cloud his vision, he realized that he was aching for as man he had known for barely an hour, and another person he had never known or seen.

He would say I’m melodramatic.

“I can never forgive myself for that day,” Myungsoo’s whisper brought him back to the dimly-lit club.

Myungsoo was staring at his glass, not drinking anymore; his tears now silenced. Woohyun gulped down his tears as well, trying to concentrate on comforting his companion. He figured that listening to him sincerely at the moment would be his biggest comfort.

“He – he tried to drown himself in the Han River, he did that because of the things I said.”

Woohyun gasped. He felt trepidation crawl up his throat. He simply couldn’t imagine his loved one trying to kill him because of something hurtful he had said. He knew exactly how Myungsoo had felt, still felt as he cracked a pained smile.

“I could easily have been a murderer right?”

“No,” Woohyun protested, even though he was in anguish. Even though he knew Myungsoo could have been a murderer, because he would have driven the lover to his deathbed. But he knew that wouldn’t cheer him up. “You didn’t do it. You just told him hurtful things and we all do that when we’re angry.” He remembered the fights they had, the awful things he said- but it had all ended in mutual affection.

Or did they?

“He jumped into the river, because of me! He didn’t know how to swim…but the worst part is, I wasn’t there to save him. I didn’t save him.” Through the slurry speech, the bitterness in Myungsoo’s voice stung sharply. He slammed his hand down on the table, turning a few heads. Woohyun took the opportunity to move his glass away. He was at breaking point.

“Who saved him - who saved him…he did. The person I trusted the most, my brother, my best friend – he saved him and when I went to see him at the hospital…he told me to leave.” Myungsoo gulped. “I ran, I fled. I caught the first flight out of Seoul; I’ve been in Tokyo ever since.” Woohyun could picture Myungsoo running through the streets of Seoul, maddened by the grief. Tokyo had become his refuge from a city that reeked of death to him – the death of his love, his trust.

“I had my parents send me my things, but – but after a few days I started missing him. I wrote to him, I called him, he never replied.  He hates me!” Myungsoo’s voice rose until he garbled out the words loudly; Woohyun tried to calm him down and he soon slumped forward, his head falling onto the table in front of him.

Woohyun sighed.

He’s passed out, what do I do? I can’t leave him here like this, can I?

He called the bartender and tried to explain the situation to him in broken Japanese. The bartender nodded and took out a piece paper with something written on it in Japanese. By the looks of it, it was an address. The bartender then started speaking slowly, in order for Woohyun to understand. What he could gather was that the bar kept addresses of regular customers for emergency, and Kim Myungsoo was one of them. The rest, Woohyun couldn’t figure out but since the man was pushing the piece of paper into his palm, he surmised that, it was Myungsoo’s address so that he could take him to his home.

“Thank you,” Woohyun said gratefully.

Myungsoo hadn’t mentioned a family in Tokyo so most probably, he lived here alone. Woohyun flagged down a taxi outside and gave him the address slip. The driver nodded. Woohyun then went back inside for Myungsoo, and with the bartender’s help, he carried him into the back of the taxi.

As the taxi sped through the streets, the lights flashing past them, he wondered how his mission had taken a backseat to Myungsoo’s story. He didn’t regret listening to Myungsoo – he probably hadn’t talked to anyone about it in a long time. But while sympathizing with him, he had forgotten what he had gone to the bar for.

Tomorrow, I have to go again and not let anything distract me.

Myungsoo’s home turned out to be a two-storied villa. Woohyun realized that Myungsoo was rich but he didn’t understand why he had left all his doors open.

Maybe he had planned on getting drunk and returning would be easier if he doesn’t have to look for the key.

Again, with the help of the taxi driver, he moved Myungsoo into the house. He then paid the man extra and thanked him for his help. As he tried to make Myungsoo comfortable in his bed, he glanced around the room.

It wasn’t furnished fashionably; maybe Myungsoo had lost his interest in everything after the incident. He noticed a picture frame on the bedside table though, under the shadow of the table lamp. He could make out three people, on the extreme right and nearest to him was Myungsoo. He supposed the other two were his boyfriend and his best friend. After he had pulled Myungsoo’s shoes off and covered him with a blanket, he tiptoed forward to the bedside table to look at the picture closely.

As he was about to pick it up, his phone started ringing. Cursing under his breath, he almost ran out of the room, not wanting to disturb Myungsoo.

“Hello,” he answered, slightly breathless.

“Hey Woohyun.”

He was relieved and scared to hear the voice of his best friend. Kibum had always come through for him, and even now, he was helping him to track down that one person. But Kibum didn’t believe it was possible to bring him back, and Woohyun wouldn’t hear that.

There is a way to bring him back, to make everything normal again.

“Key, I’m so glad you called. I – er, I looked in his favorite club but…well I ran into something, I’ll try tomorrow again.”

“Oh, actually I found a friend in the airlines office, she’s checking all the passenger lists from day before yesterday.”

Woohyun frowned.

“What’s the point? We know – I know he’s here. I mean where else would he go? His business partner lives here, he has an office here…I know he’s here.”

Kibum sighed on the other end.

“Yes I know. But you checked his office right, he isn’t there. His business partner is not in Tokyo even. He might have gone to some other place Woohyun.” He let out an impatient sigh. “Woohyunnie, he – he left you. He would obviously go somewhere you can’t find him.”

Woohyun rubbed his temple as the pain surged up inside him again.

“Key, you read his letter. He expressly told me not to look for him. And – and I’ve always listened to him; he thinks I would keep his last request, he thinks I won’t look for him. He wouldn’t even think of hiding.” Unknown to himself, his voice had risen and his breathing was shallower. He closed his eyes, trying calm down the waves of blood through his veins.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t look for him, you should give up.”

“No!” Woohyun hadn’t meant to shout but the word came out like a roar. “No, I will bring him back. I love him, we love each other, he’ll be back. I will bring him back!”

He threw down the phone, causing it to hit the floor loudly. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to stabilise his nerves. In a moment, his fears, his insecurities had stooped down on him, causing him to lose his senses.

I shouted at Key, my best friend. For Sunggyu, my love.

He took a few steps and slumped down into the couch. He let the darkness take over because he was too tired to fight it. Myungsoo’ story seemed to have sapped his strength. He hated heartbreaks, and yet he was drawn to them. He couldn’t control it.

He closed his eyes, trying to think of happy thoughts while his mind occupied itself with grim conclusions. All his happy thoughts were about Sunggyu after all.

He wasn’t sure how long he was slumped there. He only opened his eyes when he heard footsteps nearby.

“Hey, you - you brought me home?” It was Myungsoo, looking slightly disoriented.

“Oh, I’m sorry I woke you, I just…sorry. I’ll leave now, you’ll be okay right?”

Myungsoo nodded. He turned to go back to his room but stopped.

“I heard what you said on the phone. And, I don’t know what happened between you two but – he won’t come back. Lost love never comes back, never.”