Woohyun didn’t have trouble picking out Hoya in the huge crowd of the airport.

He was instantly drawn to him, like a moth to the flame. There was something about Hoya’s hollow eyes, his still posture, his chapped lips – it seemed as if all the sorrows of the world had deplaned on his shoulder, seeking refuge in his ribs. There was a lifeless aura around him, as if he had just risen from the dead. Even as he moved forward and shook his hand, Woohyun shivered. His skin was cold and when he spoke, it seemed as if he was speaking from the bowels of an ancient cave.

He might be alive but everything about him is dead.

It seemed that he was also attracting sadness, just like Sunggyu had.

“My cousin Dongwoo told me to pick you up,” he droned. “I brought my car. My flat is an hour drive from here. Kim Sunggyu is there at the moment and I haven’t informed him about you, as my cousin instructed. I guess you want to meet him, so shall we?”

“Ah hey, can we wait here for a while?” Woohyun checked the arrival charts to see when the flight from Seoul would arrive.

In two hours, we can wait for Key.

He asked Hoya if it would be okay if they waited at the airport for a friend of his. Hoya only shrugged and they went to sit down at the reception area.

For the first hour, they didn’t talk. Hoya was completely silent and still, as if he were made of stone. Woohyun was afraid to talk to him because deep down inside, he felt that Hoya was fragile – a knock was enough to send him down into a pile of rubbles. After all, only great pain can stun you into silence.

Hoya suffered.

But as the time trickled by, Woohyun couldn’t help but become curious about his companion. He seemed to see nothing in front of him even though his eyes were wide open. His arms were crossed over his chest defensively, as if he was protecting himself from the people passing by, from the lights, the sounds, the air.

Finally, he decided to try. The way to make someone talk about themselves was to gain their trust, by telling them about you. No one had taught this to him, somehow he knew.

“Do you know why I’m here?”

He had to repeat the question because Hoya hadn’t heard him the first time.

“To meet Kim Sunggyu?”

“Yes but do you know why I want to meet him badly? And why he must not know I’m coming to see him?”

Hoya shook his head, but he didn’t look interested to find out. Undaunted, Woohyun said, “Because he’s running away from me. Trying to escape my love. But he should know he can’t escape my love, because the world is round, and I will find him at one point.”

His companion finally looked mildly intrigued as he stared at Woohyun with enquiring eyes. Woohyun told him everything that had happened, the countries he had been to in search of Sunggyu, the people he had met, the depression he had felt.

“They all told me I’ll fail. Do you think I’ll fail?”

Hoya nodded slowly. He had thought as much. He knew a disbeliever when he saw one.

“Why?”

He bit his lips, as if trying to stop himself from speaking. But then his tongue won the battle, and he said gruffly, “You can’t win. Love never wins.”

He heaved a sigh and Woohyun thought that was the saddest sound he had ever hard, so heart-wrenching. It would be the sound of the regrets of a dead person. The sorrow was tangible and Woohyun couldn’t stop feeling wistful.

But he knew he had to stay strong.

“Love wins Hoya. Love must win.”

Hoya’s eyes glowed momentarily. His eyes were distant, and when he finally looked at Woohyun, they were more alive than they had been before.

“Love didn’t win! It didn’t win when...” He seemed to stop himself at the last moment. His eyes went back to their hollow state. He whispered, barely audible over the din of the airport, “What about Dongwoo? He loves Sunggyu so much, and Sunggyu doesn’t even know.”

Woohyun felt as if someone had punched him in the chest and knocked his breath out. He needed some time to recuperate and Hoya, knowing he had hit him hard, looked away.

The person Dongwoo can’t confess to…is my Sunggyu?

When he found his breath, he repeated the question aloud, and Hoya nodded.

“Dongwoo didn’t tell me that,” was all he could reply.

Hoya tilted his head slightly.

“Of course, he knows you’re Sunggyu’s…”

Hoya had this habit of leaving sentences hanging as if he didn’t want to talk about these things. Woohyun however wouldn’t let him go so easily.

“Did he always love Sunggyu? And he never told him? Ever?”

“Always – well as long as he knew him. They met at college but Sunggyu never had any feelings for Dongwoo so…”

Woohyun shouldn’t feel mad since it wasn’t exactly Dongwoo’s fault that he had fallen in love with Sunggyu. And he never confessed so the question of Sunggyu having an affair with Dongwoo was absurd.

I shouldn’t feel bad about this, Sunggyu loves me.

“How do you know this?”

Hoya had apparently switched back to his silent mood again. He didn’t reply and he looked around with unseeing eyes, his shoulders stiff.

“I met a couple who believe that their partners hate them, so they’re leaving in misery. I think that deep down, they had forgiven each other. I know Myungsoo has forgiven Sungjong, and I’m pretty sure Sungjong has done -”

Hoya suddenly jumped.

“Sungjong? Lee Sungjong?”

“You know him?” It was Woohyun’s turn to start.

Hoya was now turned towards Woohyun fully. His eyes were once again alive and burning and Woohyun noticed his fingers shaking out of the corner of his eyes.

Hoya gulped.

“Well if you say Myungsoo and Sungjong – it has to be - S-sunkyu’s brother…”

Breathing deeply, Hoya placed his hand over his eyes, as if a shadow was passing over them. When he opened his eyes again, there was a tormented look there.

“And Sunkyu…” Woohyun prompted gently, putting a hand on Hoya’s.

Hoya was in a trance again, as his eyes glassed over. Woohyun waited patiently – he had moved the stone exterior and now that he saw the fragile interior, he wished he hadn’t started on this topic. Hoya seemed so vulnerable now, nothing like the solid mountain he had seemed at the first meeting.

After 5 minutes had passed, Hoya suddenly gripped Woohyun’s hand firmly and said, in a desperate voice, “Love didn’t win when Sunkyu died. He died in my arms, a month after he was diagnosed – my love didn’t win then. I lost him – I – I lost…”

The rest of the speech was lost in Hoya’s sobs and Woohyun pulled him into an embrace, patting him gently on the back. The dam was broken and Hoya poured out the emotions he had frozen over the years – they now drowned him.

I’m so sorry…

When his heaves died down, Woohyun whispered gently, “You still love him.” It was not a question, it was a statement and he didn’t need Hoya confirming it. He simply knew. He knew how it would feel if something happened to Sunggyu.

I’d probably be a living dead as well.

He was about to say something more to Hoya when he saw that Hoya had relapsed into a quiet silence. He didn’t want to break his train of thoughts, so he simply sat there with Hoya in his arms – both of them lost in their own worlds.