Chapter 5 - Silent Talks & Silly Words
How To Tame A Rebel
Chapter 5
Silent Talks & Silly Words
"Yours." The words kept echoing in Sehun's head. He shivered a little.
What was that supposed to mean? Luhan could not possibly be... in love with him. ...Or could he?
Sehun's thoughts were clouded, and so he did the only thing he actually knew he shouldn't.
He kissed him.
Luhan stiffened. But he didn't move. They just stood there, Sehun's lips softly pressed to Luhan's, who seemed to have stopped breathing. It took a while until realization hit Sehun. He quickly let go.
He didn't know if it was the awkward situation or Luhan's shocked face that had him laughing slightly. However, Sehun was confused, almost startled by his own actions, and so he didn't know how else to react.
Oh god, you're such an idiot, he cursed himself mentally. He completely let go of the older and walked over to the bed again, sitting down, and everything he wanted right then and there was for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
"What are you doing?" Luhan asked, making him look up. "I was just joking! No need to make fun of me like that..." the older said.
Sehun, being the brilliant speaker he was, still didn't know what to answer. He couldn't even look into Luhan's eyes. He switched off the lights.
"Hey! I can't see where I'm going." Luhan protested as he stumbled over to the bathroom. "Uhm... I'm going to quickly wash my hair. Before it starts looking gross." he said.
"Shall I help you?" After the words had left Sehun's mouth, he noticed just how wrong they sounded.
Luhan laughed, but it didn't sound happy at all. "Is it that much fun to mock me? Seriously..."
The door to the bathroom closed, leaving Sehun alone and confused in the dark room.
Somehow, the atmosphere had developed into something not too comfortable in a matter of seconds. Sehun cursed himself again, because he knew it had been his fault.
He had no idea how Luhan actually felt towards him. Heck, he didn't even really know how he felt towards Luhan.
All he knew was that he wanted to see him smile, not cry. And if he was crying, Sehun wanted to be there and comfort him. Apparently, he at that. He'd probably messed up big time. Luhan seemed to have taken everything the wrong way. Then again, with the things Sehun did, who wouldn't. He sighed. He snuggled into his pillow and closed his eyes. He wanted to think about absolutely nothing, but of course his mind had other plans.
Luhan's heart was still beating rapidly. He wanted to be angry at Sehun, but he just couldn't. Maybe it was the kiss. Thinking back, it still had him shivering, even if it had been just a joke. He was just made fun of. That thought hurt quite a lot, now that he paid more attention to it. Because he long knew he liked the younger, even if it was just a little, little liking he hadn't really wanted to admit. But he couldn't like him. Firstly, the other was going to get married. To a girl. And Luhan was sure Sehun actually liked girls. Secondly, if he even tried anything, Sehun parents would surely find out and there would be trouble. You wouldn't exactly want your babysitter to have something going on with your own son. And lastly, Luhan didn't want to destroy what they had now. He'd managed to build some kind of friendship between Sehun and him, and he didn't want to make things weird. Well, if they weren't by now...
Luhan decided to just take a shower. Partly because it was easier than only washing your hair, and partly because he wanted to spend as much time as possible in the bathroom, so that maybe the younger had already fallen asleep and he didn't have to face him. The fact that the shampoo smelled a lot like Sehun didn't help one bit.
Luhan was the first to get up the next morning, like always. Fortunately, the other had already been asleep the night before, so they didn't have to talk any more. But sooner or later, Luhan had to face him anyway. And he didn't want to look like yesterdays events had affected him, he didn't want to act like he'd been thinking about it all night. Which he had. It was just a joke, just a joke.
Don't make things awkward, he told himself over and over again in his head.
Like every morning, he made breakfast for the two of them. But he didn't want to wake Sehun up, so he waited. He checked his phone. Of course he didn't miss Yixing's text, asking him where and when they were going to meet today. Luhan didn't want to say yes, but he couldn't say no. He could've made up a story, told a lie to his best friend, but he didn't have the heart to do so.
Like every morning, he made breakfast for the two of them. But he didn't want to wake Sehun up, so he waited. He checked his phone. Of course he didn't miss Yixing's text, asking him where and when they were going to meet today. Luhan didn't want to say yes, but he couldn't say no. He could've made up a story, told a lie to his best friend, but he didn't have the heart to do so.
Hey Yixing,
I know a great restaurant.
I know a great restaurant.
See you there at 6?
He texted him the address and reserved a table for three. To say he was excited would be an overstatement. But what could he do about it? Nothing. He had to be a supportive best friend, Yixing deserved that much. He'd just listen to him, do some casual small talk, congratulate him on his girlfriend and leave a little earlier than them. Simple. To hide his feelings and disappointment about the whole situation though, that would not be so simple.
But he would manage. Luhan always had.
"Morning."
"Morning."
"Good morning."
They sat down for breakfast. They didn't talk much, there was the usual - more or less - comfortable silence they shared when they were together, except for a few jokes and comments on this and that. Everything seemed to be just like before, nothing had changed, and Luhan was grateful the other didn't mention the kiss nor anything else they'd talked about yesterday. It was better this way, although it hurt. Maybe there had been, even if Luhan was too stubborn to acknowledge, a little ray of hope that the other had meant what he'd said. That he had meant the kiss. But that didn't seem to be the case. Of course it wouldn't.
Sehun could've spent the whole day with Luhan just sitting at the table and listening to him explaining something in chinese. Just the way his lips moved, the way his eyes wandered from Sehun to the paper and back, was something he could watch all day.
"Do you understand it now?"
Sehun had understood the first time Luhan told him, but he'd come to like the other's voice so much, he had played dumb so Luhan would explain again.
"Do you understand it now?"
Sehun had understood the first time Luhan told him, but he'd come to like the other's voice so much, he had played dumb so Luhan would explain again.
Sehun smiled and nodded. He wrote it down so he wouldn't forget it again.
"Don't you think it's enough for today, seonsaengnim?"
Luhan narrowed his eyes. "That's lǎoshī for you, by the way."
"Don't you think it's enough for today, seonsaengnim?"
Luhan narrowed his eyes. "That's lǎoshī for you, by the way."
Sehun grinned. "I find Xiǎo Lù to be a lot more fitting."
Luhan's eyes widened and Sehun laughed.
"Did you just... Was that pun intended?" he asked.
"It was." Sehun said and grinned, and he noticed Luhan also couldn't hide his smile.
"You should treat your teacher with a little more respect." he said and closed the books and the dictionary. "Where do you even know that word from?" Luhan shook his head and got up, not expecting the younger to answer.
Sehun just laughed again. Luhan checked the time.
"Did you just... Was that pun intended?" he asked.
"It was." Sehun said and grinned, and he noticed Luhan also couldn't hide his smile.
"You should treat your teacher with a little more respect." he said and closed the books and the dictionary. "Where do you even know that word from?" Luhan shook his head and got up, not expecting the younger to answer.
Sehun just laughed again. Luhan checked the time.
"It's 5 already. I need to go." he said.
Sehun furrowed his brows. "Where to?"
The older bit his lip. "...To meet Yixing, of course." he said.
Sehun got up. "Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"Why are you going?"
"What kind of friend would I be?"
"Yesterday you were crying and now you still want to go see him? I really don't get it. Really."
Luhan gulped. "He chose to introduce her to me, it's probably an important thing to him. I can't not show up all of a sudden. That'd just make everything weird."
Luhan gulped. "He chose to introduce her to me, it's probably an important thing to him. I can't not show up all of a sudden. That'd just make everything weird."
"And I find it very weird that you choose to show up, even if I tell you not to!"
"You think I'd dump my best friend because you told me to? You're quite the horrible friend if you think that's cool."
"You think I'd dump my best friend because you told me to? You're quite the horrible friend if you think that's cool."
"I don't even want to be a friend to you!" Sehun yelled. Luhan went quiet.
Oh , that came off the wrong way. He didn't know why their conversation had changed into a fight this quickly. Maybe the events of yesterday still lingered somewhere in the back of his head. Maybe that was also why Sehun had reacted this way. Because he still hated the Sehun he was yesterday. Everyday he looked forward to being a better person than the day before, that maybe one day he would even be a person as kind as Luhan, even though that was most likely to never happen. Everytime he'd made a step towards improvement, there where situations like this, his stupid self would interfere and he'd fall back at least three steps again. Just like now.
Of course he'd noticed Luhan's blank look. The older grabbed his jacket, turned around and left.
Of course he'd noticed Luhan's blank look. The older grabbed his jacket, turned around and left.
Sehun froze for a while before he reacted again. "Luhan!" He quickly opened the door and ran after him.
"Luhan, I'm sorry. I just don't understand you!"
Luhan suddenly turned around. "Well, I don't understand you either!" he yelled over the increasing metres distance that separated them, before turning again and leaving the other behind at a rapid step.
Sehun went back into the house and slammed the door shut. He sat down on the second stair and buried his face in his hands. He was sure he'd seen tears in Luhan's eyes just now.
Sehun went back into the house and slammed the door shut. He sat down on the second stair and buried his face in his hands. He was sure he'd seen tears in Luhan's eyes just now.
Luhan unlocked the door to the house at about 1:30 in the morning. Everything had went smoothly. They'd eaten, talked and laughed a lot, so all in all it had been a great evening. Yixing had even convinced him to stay a little longer - actually, a lot longer - than he had planned to and they had a few drinks more. Luhan couldn't even deny that he found the girl to be perfect for his best friend. She was nice, friendly, pretty, kind... she suited him well. And Luhan hadn't even been sad about that. He'd been surprisingly happy and cheerful. The more he had tried to see her as a rival, an enemy, the more he noticed it didn't work. He was a little jealous, of course, since this woman was the one that Yixing spend most of his time with, but Luhan couldn't get himself to dislike her in the least bit.
He sighed. He'd expected a grumpy Sehun to sit on the sofa, ready to yell at him again the moment he would open the door... But now that he thought about it, that wasn't really like him, was it? The younger had probably just went to bed. Luhan thought about if he should check, but he decided not to. He was still a little angry at him, after all.
He sighed. He'd expected a grumpy Sehun to sit on the sofa, ready to yell at him again the moment he would open the door... But now that he thought about it, that wasn't really like him, was it? The younger had probably just went to bed. Luhan thought about if he should check, but he decided not to. He was still a little angry at him, after all.
He went into the kitchen and made green tea. Strangely, he didn't feel tired at all. Maybe it was the alcohol, although it hadn't been much. A lot more drinks would've been needed to get him, Luhan, even the slightest bit drunk. He went into the guest room and changed into something more comfortable. He couldn't resist and therefore peeked through the tiny crack of the door into Sehun's bedroom - only to find it empty. A little suprised, but not really relieved, he went back to his tea and his phone that lay on the table.
Hey Yixing,
Thanks for the nice evening. Suyin
suits you well. Don't let her go.
Have a nice time back in China, I'll
visit soon!
Luhan was quite sure that for the next years though, he wouldn't be visiting his hometown. He simply couldn't afford it. It had always been like that, so he was quite used to it. His holidays had been a walk in the park on weekends for almost six years now, but he wasn't complaining. He'd done jobs that were a lot harder, not even comparable with the one he was doing at the moment. Watching over an almost grown up baby wasn't that much work after all.
Speaking of said baby... where was he?
Luhan started to worry more as time passed. It was already 3 in the morning, but still no sign of the younger. Of course Luhan had called several times, only to be greeted by a friendly woman's voice telling him to leave a message. And he did. About every five minutes. But he didn't get anything back.
At 3:40, Luhan gave up. He didn't dare to go to bed though, in case something had really happened. In case someone suddenly appeared at the door to tell him that Sehun had caused trouble, that Sehun was injured, that Sehun was... dead. Luhan tried hard not to think of possible scenarios, but they went through his head several times nonetheless.
He nervously paced through the room as the digits on the screen of his phone told him it was now 4 in the morning.
Damn you, Sehun, for making me worry so much, Luhan thought.
He decided to sit down and try to calm his mind, which worked quite well until the door suddenly burst open, making him jump to his feet.
He decided to sit down and try to calm his mind, which worked quite well until the door suddenly burst open, making him jump to his feet.
He watched as Sehun entered the house, an irritated expression on the younger's face and he was barely able to walk.
"I've been waiting for the past four hours! Where were you?" Luhan asked angrily.
Sehun closed his eyes and furrowed his brows. "Why do you care?" he asked back.
"Well, I'm very sorry, but it's my ing job to care!"
Sehun stumbled into the room, messily taking off his shoes in the process.
"You could've at least answered your damn phone!"
Sehun didn't answer. Luhan just watched and realised that yelling at the younger right now would most likely be the same as yelling at a goat. It would bring him nowhere.
The big baby stumbled into the kitchen. His eyes looked glassy.
"Oh god, you're drunk..." Luhan watched as Sehun poured himself a glass of water and turned around again.
"...So what? It's not like you care about me, really... 's just your job." Sehun emphasized the last words. Luhan sighed. "You're stupid."
"You're more stupid." the other replied.
He watched as the younger made his way to the sofa, bumped against a small table, spilled half of his water, cursed, and finally sat down. Luhan did the same, but had went straight to sitting down.
Sehun eyed him, but quickly averted his gaze once he noticed Luhan was looking back at him.
"Why were you thinking that going out to get drunk was a great idea in the first place...?"
Sehun's response was just a snort, nothing more.
Luhan sighed. "Sometimes you're still so ing childish."
Luhan sighed. "Sometimes you're still so ing childish."
Sehun chuckled. "N' did you have fun? With that Yi-...fing guy?"
"Yixing." Luhan corrected him. He didn't know how to go on. Yes, I had a lot of fun weren't really the words he wanted to say, since they weren't true. It was terrible. That also wasn't the case.
So he settled for a simple "It was okay" and added a "His girlfriend is nice, actually".
Sehun snorted again. "Y'know, you're the weirdest person I've ever met. Doing stuff for others all the time... though you never get something in return." he mumbled.
"Yeah, and the person I get the least in return from is you."
"You're just not noticing."
"What is there to notice?" Luhan sank down into the sofa, half lying down.
Sehun chuckled. "A lot."
"Uh-huh." Luhan said, making it sound so the other knew he didn't believe him.
Sehun lay down, swinging his legs over the armrest, his head now resting on Luhan's lap.
"Like right now. You're not noticing."
"W-What is there to notice?" Luhan repeated the previously asked question.
"See?" Sehun just said. "You're blind."
"And you're blind drunk."
"I'm not."
"You're an idiot."
"You're one, too." The older sighed for the thousandth time that day.
"Hey, Xiǎo Lù?"
"What?" Luhan asked, obviously a little annoyed. Also because he didn't like that the nickname made his heartbeat go up to three times it's normal speed.
"Are you really not noticing?" Sehun turned his head and looked into Luhan's eyes. The older tried to escape his stare.
"I-I told you, I don't get it. What should I notice?"
"So you really don't notice... how much I want you."
Luhan's face heated up. "S-Stop it. It's not funny."
"You don't notice how much I want to kiss your lips..."
"Sehun! It's enough." Luhan lifted his knees and shoved Sehun off of him. The younger sat up straight, grabbed his hands and leaned in until his lips touched Luhan's. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, until Luhan pushed Sehun away. Or at least tried to.
Luhan hated these kind of situations. It were the moments where he'd notice just how weak he actually was. Not only physically. And he didn't want to look weak, be weak. He simply wasn't used to it. He'd always been a strong personality, had always had a strong will. At least that was what Luhan had thought about himself. In front of Sehun though, he was different. Very different. So different that sometimes, he didn't even know if he was still the same person. It was almost like he had lost Luhan. And he was afraid he had, afraid he wouldn't find him again. Because what else was there? What else did he have, beside himself or the person he thought he was?
"Why are you crying?"
Luhan hadn't even noticed his own tears until then. The younger let go of him and sat back on the sofa, facing him. Luhan cried silently, not making a sound, but the hot tears wouldn't stop forming in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. He tried to wipe them away several times, but they always came back. Sehun still sat facing him. Luhan felt soft hands touch his face, softly caress his cheeks, wiping away his tears.
He'd cried way too often in the last few weeks. Luhan had actually been a person that didn't cry at all. It was all Sehun's fault he was like this now.
"I'm crying because you're an idiot." Luhan said after a while, his own voice so weak it startled him.
Sehun chuckled lightly. "I know. I know I am." he said. "I don't even know why you gave me another chance..."
"What do you mean?"
"Your head..."
Luhan automatically touched the spot Sehun was talking about. He wasn't wearing any bandages anymore, he didn't need to. "Yeah, that was a smart move." he said ironically. It seemed to get to Sehun though.
"It's okay. I've long forgiven you." Luhan joked.
Sehun looked a little more relieved at that. "At least one of us."
Luhan furrowed his brows. He softly placed his hand over Sehun's.
"It's okay, you've changed. Don't be like this."
Sehun quickly but softly grabbed a hold of Luhan's hand before he could pull away. He intertwined their fingers, and didn't let go. He leaned in and gave Luhan a peck on the lips.
Then another one. And another one. As their lips met for the fourth time, Luhan wrapped one of his arms around Sehun's neck and, for the first time, kissed back. It was a soft, sweet kiss, just lips moving against lips. It lasted longer than the other kisses they'd shared.
"Sehun, you better not be playing games or I'll hunt you down, I swear." Luhan said quietly as they parted again.
Sehun grinned at him and leaned in again, but Luhan held him back, a serious expression on his face.
"I mean it. Really."
Sehun furrowed his brows. "You think I'm just toying with you? Were you thinking that the whole time?"
Luhan looked down. "Well... yeah. I was..."
Sehun chuckled sadly. "I may have been an idiot-"
"A big idiot." Luhan interrupted him, making Sehun laugh.
"A big idiot, yes, but I'm not like that. Never been like that. Really. I would've never-, Never thought about... With you... You know-, You have to-"
"Yes, Sehun, I get it." Luhan said and laughed. He quickly pulled him closer to kiss him again, so he wouldn't talk any more. They didn't need any more words, it had been enough for this evening.
Luhan wrapped both his arms around Sehun's neck as their kiss got more passionate.
"Luhan-" Sehun started, but Luhan quickly pressed a finger to his lips, along with a "Shh".
Sehun grinned again. "As you say, lǎoshī." And they kissed again.
They had moved their sitting position into a more comfortable one, Sehun lying on top of Luhan on the (more or less) comfortable sofa. Occasionally, the younger let his hand slide under Luhan's shirt to trail the soft skin of his hip and belly with his fingers. Although his mind was still a bit clouded from the alcohol, he noticed the shiver and the goosebumps that would appear all over Luhan's body whenever his own hot breath was close to the other's ear or neck. He found it very interesting to watch, and he would've done so a lot longer if it hadn't been for the sudden nausea that overcame him.
"Sorry." he managed to say before jumping and running up the stairs and into the bathroom.
Luhan joined him after a while. Sehun turned his head to look up at him from where he was kneeling, and the older threw a look of pity at him while leaning against the doorframe.
Sehun's stomach made itself felt with a grumble, before Sehun emptied himself for the second time.
He heard Luhan sigh.
"This is going to be a long night."
A/N: Once again, this took ages to write. maybe it's just me
But you guys deserve it, of course, because I've been gone for so long (again), and yes, you may strangle me for that.
But first, leave a comment, alright?
Also, thanks to UltimateChicken and LeeJuLian for helping me finish this damn chapter.
Thank you guys for all the love.
♥
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