Hundred something missed calls and messages from mom and the others.

Wow. I haven’t gotten this much attention since I won Ms. Sapphire University during my first year. It was actually a dare to prove my self-proclaimed statement that I’m more beautiful than all the girls at school, so I cross-dressed and joined the competition. I got all the cheers and all the awards, and in the end I got the crown. They were all in absolute shock when they found out I’m a guy.

I got hundreds of messages every day. My locker was either filled with flowers from the boys or hate messages from the girls… and the occasional detention slips from the professors that I just ignored.

I didn’t enter any competition this time. They were all contacting me because I didn’t go home last night.

I left the house around 4 in the morning, I think my mom saw me from the kitchen but she didn’t ask where I was going, so I just went out.

A few hours passed, and I started to receive messages from her and from the others.

I was expecting that, so I just silenced my phone after a few minutes.

I walked around town and went to places where there were not much people. I always hated crowded places, I feel so uncomfortable and irritated around many people. When I got hungry I just ate at the nearest fast food chain and then continued my pointless walking.

My feet dragged me everywhere but my mind dragged me to only one thing, or rather one person: Hangeng.

His name swirled around my head.

Hangeng.

His apologies when we met for the first time because he bumped me.

Hangeng.

His innocent eyes.

Hangeng.

His always positive attitude.

Hangeng.

His perfect cooking.

Hangeng.

Hangeng.

Hangeng.

Every time his name pops up, there’s a memory that flashes in front me. I smiled as I reminisced… but after a while my smiles faded and all I felt was regret.

Will it change things if I hadn’t been so pushy around him?

Will it change things if I had acknowledged my feelings instead of burying and denying them from myself?

Will it change things if I told him what I felt when I had the chance?

Will it change things if I asked him not to leave?

Lots of questions and “what ifs” flooded my mind… and I didn’t notice that it was already night time. I must’ve ignored my stomach for too long because I didn’t feel hungry anymore, I just felt tired. Extremely tired and drained.

I was on the other side of town and it would take me at least 3 hours to get back home. That travel would drain me more so I just decided to spend the night in a hotel.

When I woke up this morning around 7am, I opened my phone and it showed me all the calls and messages I ignored. Should I open them? Hmm I knew my mom’s already furious right now, I might as well hear all of it when I get home. As for the others, I have yet to decide what to do.

I arrived home in time for lunch.

Weird, I’m supposed to be hungry by now but I’m still not.

“Heechul!?” I heard my mom’s voice from the kitchen when I opened the door “Heechul is that you!??”

Before I even replied, she bolted out and ran straight towards me.

At first she had that fuming expression like she was ready to murder me, but after a second her face changed and I was surprised when she hugged me.

“Oh my baby,” she cried a bit, still hugging me so tight I couldn’t feel my arms.

What’s happening? Normally she would shower me with nags and life lessons for at least two hours then assign me all the chores and then take away my laptop for the whole day. Why is she hugging me right now?

“Baby are you hungry? Oh you must be starving, come on I made your favorite,” she held my hand and gently pulled me to the dining room.

She took out plates and utensils and grabbed me a serving of lasagna. It smelled so good but I still didn’t feel hungry.

“Mom,” I finally said which made her rush to my side.

“Yes my dear?” she worriedly asked.

“Thank you,” I hesitated for a while, thinking that a wrong choice of word would unleash her hulk side “but I’m uh, I’m not really hungry right now…”

“Oh,” she looked surprised, but then she gave me a small smile “it’s okay, you can eat later.”

“I would like to go to my room and rest for a while,” I said while standing up “thanks mom,”

“Okay dear, just call me when you need anything,” she patted me on the shoulder and then cleaned the table.

When I entered my room, I finally realized why she didn’t kill me. I looked like a mess. I looked like a homeless orphan. I was so dirty and messy and my eyes were dead. I didn’t even recognize my own reflection at first, but there I was, at my lowest point.

I didn’t do anything. I just let myself look like that and slumped down on my bed.

“Heechul hyung?” I heard a familiar voice outside my door.

I didn’t answer.

“Heechul hyung are you alright?” Sungmin asked while knocking gently.

Ignore.

“Uhm, the professors are asking me about you and they are worried,” he continued to talk “we’re all worried too. Donghae’s missing you badly…”

I’m pretending to be asleep go away.

“Is there something we can do hyung? We would love to help you, just tell us what the problem is…”

Oh my ceiling looks interesting.

“Heechul hyung? I know you can hear me,” Sungmin knocked again, but this time louder “we’re here for you, you know that. Please just talk to us.”

Hmmm…

“Auntie,” I heard Sungmin say “does he even come out of his room?”

“I’m not sure dear,” I heard my mom’s worried voice.

“How does he eat?”

“I just put his food outside his door and he gets it, but he doesn’t really finish it, just a few bites…”

“Why are you letting him do that?” Sungmin sounded stressed “I’m sorry auntie I know it’s not your fault,”

“No, I know… it’s just that it breaks my heart to see him this way but there’s nothing I can do, I can’t convince him to talk to me either…”

“Auntie it’s been a week, he hasn’t been to school for a week,”

Wow. Has it been a week already? I checked my phone and saw that Sungmin was right… I’ve been holed up here in a week.

“Do you think you and your friends can talk to him?”

“Hmm, I doubt that,” he said “but I think I know someone who can make him come out and straighten his life again…”

I didn’t hear their voices again for the next few minutes so I decided to just sleep for real.

I woke up with a headache, as I always have been this past week.

“Finally look who decided to wake up,” I heard a voice… it sounded a bit familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Get the hell out of my room!” I irritably mumbled, my eyes still half closed.

“Wow are you seriously trying to threaten me right now?” he gave me a sarcastic laugh “you look like though, I am ashamed of you,”

“I said get the hell out of my room!” I pulled myself up to sit on my bed and rubbed my eyes, getting ready to murder that punk.

I aimed my fist towards his face but stopped half-way when my vision cleared and realized who it was.

“Were you gonna punch me little girl?” he smirked.

“HYUNG?”

I knew his voice sounded familiar.

“No I don’t have a brother looking and smelling like crap,” he shook his head and looked at me from head to toe with disgust.

“HYUNG!!!” I stood up and threw myself against him. Kim Youngwoon. My older brother.

I kinda broke up HanChul for a while… so I introduced a new character! Kangin’s my 3^rd bias by the way, I’ll handle his POVs from now too ^-^

Regarding Heechul’s cold reaction towards Sungmin, I’ll give you the whole story on my next chapter!

So what happened to KyuMin and EunHae the whole week when Heechul was having an existential crisis? Pumpkinita what happened?? xD