You laugh with your friends as you walk home and your trail of fan boys laugh along with you.

They follow you everywhere now, and it doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers the traffic on the road.

You drop your friends off at their streets and you start towards yours. When you arrive a block away from your mansion, you turn around and look at the fan boys.

“I can make it from here, thank you.” You wave at them, and they all groan, wanting to continue walking with you.

“I’m home!” you call as you enter your house. Your maids rush forward to retrieve your shoes and bag.

“Miss, your parents left you a message. It is next to your fruit bowl in the dining room.”

“Thanks.” You left your maid in the hallway and trudged over to the dining table.

My precious daughter,

Your mother and I have left to attend a meeting on our new partnership with Golden Jewels Hotel in Hong Kong. We don’t know how long these meetings will be held or how many we have, but rest assured that we will try our best to take care of our health to come back to you safely. Be happy, my gem, and we will return sooner than you think. I hope you had a great first day of school and keep your promise to do well, despite our absence in the house.

Love,

Your Father

You sigh as you put the note back down.

“Gone for another two months…” You grew tired of their constant business trips and you just wanted to spend time with them.

What am I going to do? I have no siblings…my friends are at home…no homework…my parents are gone…

…

…

…

I bet Myungsoo oppa and HyunA are together…

He was also with Suzy…

And Jiyeon…

Who else?

How long did he lie to me for?

How long did it take for him to realize that I wasn’t enough?

Why couldn’t I be the one?

What’s wrong with me?

Myungsoo oppa…

Tears filled up your eyes with the thoughts that filled your mind.

You try to shake the thoughts but they keep invading. Tears overflow and they fall onto the counter. You run up to your room, for privacy.

You sob and your thoughts trigger your heartbreak all over again. The knowledge that Myungsoo never really loved you clenches your heart and you want to stay in bed for all of eternity.

You seem like the most confident person in the world, but in reality, Myungsoo broke you down into a trillion pieces. So much so that you aren’t sure where to even start cleaning up the mess.

It’s been a year but the humiliation combined with the heartbreak and the realization of a façade snapped you and it was going to take a long time to even put you back together.

Your friends were a good distraction from the reality of it all. They have always been there for you, and they will continue to be your pillars of support.

Thoughts kept running through your head and you know that they have to stop sometime soon, but you don’t know when.

Your sobs fill the empty room and your head maid who took care of you as a child, Hyesoo, stands outside your door, her heart breaking because of the sound of your cries.

You knocked your secret knock, but you obviously couldn’t hear it so she opened the door anyway. She walked in the room quietly and sat next to you.

You look up at her and you momentarily stop, just long enough for her to tell you that it was okay to cry. She told you that it was his loss, that you were the best thing that ever happened to him.

That tugged at your heart and you feel tears rolling down your face again, but this time in the arms of your second mother.

She soothes you to the best of her ability, and you let her hold you until your body grew numb. You let your eyes close but tears leaked out, even if you didn’t want them to.

Eventually you fall asleep and Hyesoo leaves you in your bed, tucked in and warm. You squirm and she looks at you worriedly and she sees tears escape from your closed eyes. Taking a tissue, she wipes them away, then she walks away, with one look at you before she heads down to the kitchen.

Your mind is blank when you sleep. It was like a white canvas was surrounding you, and for the first and last time in your life, you hated the color white. It stretched out far in front of you and you did not know how to escape. You ran and ran, but there was no end to the place all around you.

You gasp as you wake and you look around. It was nighttime and you slept for an hour. 

You sit up, slightly panting, disturbed by the dream that appeared in your mind.

You look around and notice that Hyesoo your light and left a tray of food with a sandwich on your nightstand, along with fruit, and water. You then see a small note on the tray and shift to pick it up.

My dear girl,

You fell asleep, and I wanted you to eat. You cannot go to sleep on an empty stomach. I absolutely forbid it. When you wake up, you know where to reach me, if you need me that is. I know that you are a strong girl who can make it through anything. I didn’t teach you to fall to your enemies, did I? No, I didn’t. Now, eat up, and when you’re done, leave it outside your door and one of the maid will pick it up. Sleep tight, my dear. You’ll need it.

Yours Truly,

Head Maid Hyesoo

You smile as you read the note. It touches you to know that you have people who support you no matter what.

With that, you eat your sandwich in a rare contentment that you haven’t felt in a long time.