Chapter 15

Delusion and Dignity

"What are you doing here?" Sunggyu looked at him with apprehensive eyes.

 

For a moment, Woohyun didn't know what to say. To tell the truth, he hadn't figured that part out for the past two weeks; he had just been intent on finding Sunggyu, wherever he had disappeared off to. He remembered that night, when Sunggyu had kissed him. It was brash and irrational and... so un-like Sunggyu that Woohyun was in a mass of confusion for the rest of the night. Sure, he had kissed many beautiful women before, and he had enjoyed all those kisses thoroughly, but none had ever brought him into such a whirlwind of confusion as this one.

 

That night, he didn't sleep. He stayed up, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. He couldn't forget the heat and excitement in the moment, the feel of Sunggyu's lips against his own, the juxtaposition of the cold night air and the hot touches between them. It was unforgettable, yet it was new and strange and completely unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Maybe it was because Sunggyu was a man, and he had obtained some erse pleasure in seeing Kim do some irrational things, or maybe it was the thrill of the act, that had Woohyun on the search for this man.

 

It was entertainment, Woohyun reminded himself. This was fun

 

The look Sunggyu was giving him now demanded an answer, and Woohyun's instincts instantly came in.

 

"Oh, I was just passing by. On a corporate trip for my father," Woohyun smirked, in the most casual way possible. "Fancy seeing you here, Kim."

 

He was going to act as if that night had never happened. Because he didn't know how to act otherwise. Being cocky and confident was all that Woohyun had ever known; it was the persona that reflected his father, his role model for the entirety of his life. From a young age, he had faked confidence until it had become a part of him. 'Fake it 'til you make it', he had been taught since childhood. He did not feel stuttery and nervous (at least he never showed it) because confident was second nature to him. It was all that he had ever done.

 

Sunggyu nodded, an unreadable frown on his face. "Well, I was just leaving," he said, getting up. "Bye, Nam."

 

Seeing Sunggyu leaving, again, raised warning bells in Woohyun's mind. He would never, ever admit it aloud, but there really was no corporate trip for his father. It was hard to admit it to himself; it was easy to make excuses for himself, even easier for him to grasp them and believe them to be truth. He told Hoya that he would be driving out on a few days' travel to relieve some stress, but along the way he was hoping to 'accidentally' bump into Kim. 

 

After that night, his head was consumed with thoughts that Woohyun couldn't possible put into words. What was going on in Sunggyu's mind? Why had he kissed him? More imporantly, why wasn't he disgusted? Woohyun had liked girls all his life. He loved their big s, curvy waists, long hair, he was by the seductive female voice. Yet, here was a person without any of those things: Kim Sunggyu, a man without big s, without a curvy waist, without long hair, with a deeper male voice that had nothing seductive in it.

 

He would be lying to himself if Woohyun said that he didn't feel any sort of attraction towards this man, because ever since that night, his curiosity had piqued. His relationship with Kim Sunggyu was strange: Woohyun first met Sunggyu with irritation. He looked down on Kim like the scum of the Earth, and even more so when Hoya had started taking interest in Sunggyu more than Woohyun. His relationship with Hoya ran deep, yet the fact that Hoya would spend a day with Kim Sunggyu over Nam Woohyun made him mad. 

 

Some could say that he was jealous, but Woohyun never liked to think of himself as is. It was natural behavior, wasn't it? To feel irritation towards the person who takes your best friend away. At that time, Woohyun had wanted to make Sunggyu's life a living hell.

 

But somewhere along the way, somewhere, Woohyun discovered that he couldn't hate Sunggyu. He had admitted it to himself not too long ago, but maybe he had already known this since that chase all those weeks ago, in the alley way when Sunggyu's head leaned on him for the first time. That day, Sunggyu had looked vulnerable to Woohyun. It was unlike any sight Woohyun had ever seen before of the man, because Kim Sunggyu was always known to him as irritating, crabby, and uptight. But that day, maybe Woohyun had started seeing him in a different light. Honestly he didn't know.

 

So now here he was: after two weeks of looking, Woohyun had finally found Sunggyu. He didn't even know why he was looking for him in the first place; he just acted on his own instincts; his body just moved by itself. There was no thinking, just acting, but maybe that had always been with their situations together. He actually found it ironic that most of his time dedicated towards the other man was just spent looking for him, because Sunggyu liked to run like the wind. 

 

As he was now. Sunggyu was almost out the door, when Woohyun shook his head, thinking it, before he strided forward to grab the man's wrist to prevent him from leaving. 

 

"Wait," he said. But paused for a bit when Sunggyu turned around, a look of rage on his face.

 

Sunggyu tried to pull his wrist away but Woohyun's grip was firm. He wasn't going to let Sunggyu slip through his fingers again. He had spent too much time looking for him.

 

"Let me go," Sunggyu said, in the most lifeless voice Woohyun had heard.

 

"No," Woohyun replied hesitantly. "I need to talk to you."

 

"There is nothing to talk about." Again, that stoic voice. Woohyun hated that lifeless voice. Even an angry tone was better than a stoic one.

 

"You know that's not true. You've been avoiding me." You've always been avoiding me.

 

"No, I haven't," Sunggyu lied.

 

"You're lying." Woohyun stated.

 

Sunggyu glared at him, and on instinct Woohyun glared back. It was so natural for him, to reciprocate the glare with one of his own in a glaring battle, but after a few moments, Woohyun knew that this wouldn't go anywhere. He had to be the one to apologize.

 

"Look, I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong end before," Woohyun said carefully, looking seriously into Sunggyu's eyes. "Can we talk?"

 

For the first time, Sunggyu looked back at him. Actually looked back at him, meeting Woohyun's serious gaze with one of his own. It wasn't often that Nam apologized, and as Sunggyu's thoughts raced through his mind.

 

He hated Woohyun. Hated. He kept telling himself that, over and over and over. Nam Woohyun was a spoiled jerk. Nam Woohyun was a cocky bastard. Nam Woohyun had drugged him to act in unholy irrational ways.

 

But really, Sunggyu knew deep, deep down, that there was really no foundation for these beliefs. He hated Woohyun because it was easier just to hate him. He blamed Woohyun for everything because he didn't want to complicate things further, or attaching any strings that he didn't want to attach, solely becase it was easier to convince himself that Woohyun was bad, bad, bad. 

 

Now, though, it was getting harder and harder to justify these claims. Why was Woohyun a bad man? Why did he hate Woohyun? The whirlwind of events that conspired between them happened so unpredictably, leaving Sunggyu more and more confused. What were Nam Woohyun's intentions? Heck, was here his own intentions? He didn't know. All this time, he didn't know.

 

He knew that that night, that kiss had left Sunggyu feeling breathless and he had yearned for more. Hell, even now, with his heart beating madly in his chest, he wanted to know why and it confused him. Woohyun was such a mystery, and not so at the same time. It was easy to generalize all of his feelings towards Woohyun's bastardliness, but time and time again, Woohyun's actions were breaking the very pillars of this belief. 

 

Maybe Woohyun wasn't the person who Sunggyu deluded himself to be. Maybe, in the cloud of his own pride and dignity, Sunggyu really had misjudged Woohyun for all his worth.

 

He wanted answers. And with Woohyun right here, right now, in front of him holding out a hand with an offer to finally understand what is going on, Sunggyu found it hard to refuse. He wanted to know. He wanted to understand. More so, he wanted to understand this complex human being that was Nam Woohyun.

 

"Okay," Sunggyu nodded, agreeing. He was going to trust Woohyun this time.

 

Because finally, he wasn't going to run away anymore.

 


 

A/N: I'm starting to like this a lot more now. Stay tuned~

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
safire
I'm the most inconsistent person ever.

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
StrawberrySkye
663 streak #1
juat saw this… starting to read 😁
marieah
#2
Chapter 16: I'VE COME ACROSS THIS 2 LATE.
as much of a rollercoaster as it was 4u, it's nothing close to masterpiece. it may be hard to see, when u've invested good and bad moods into writing it; but it is a wonderfully clicheed story that u turned into a genuine addiction( at least 4 me).
idk where u r at this point in ur life, hopefully safe and living it to the fullest. if it's not a doable deed anymore, it's perfect just up 2 here, nonetheless.
it takes talent to blend such emotions into a 'fairytale' -like story of woogyu. and it's an universe very close to reality
ErioleSama
#3
Chapter 16: Ur simply making sunggyu seems so naive here by always trusting woohyun.lol I cnt believe that he's sincere.just another scheme of him...hate naive sunggyu.jerk woohyun
Persassy
#4
Chapter 3: I LOVE THIS STORY IM LIKE GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT THROUGH EACH CHAPTERRRRR!
forwoogyu #5
Chapter 16: I do like the story and I look forward for more because I find the push and pull plots so endearing ! so it's so good so far , especially now that there will be a new start and I can see them struggling to keep it simple "no complications'' involved , so yes, it's been gooood imo
thanks ^^
evangeline101 #6
Chapter 16: seriously doubting that woohyun can be genuine but well a new start it is then. i love this story because its developed well and your language is simply amazing. as for frequency of story updates, its totally fine i rarely ever update my stories and there are some that i have given up on so the fact that you're actually finishing this is really incredibly. you're a lot more determined than me i guess.

thanks anyways for updating this i love all the chapters and don't really mind if the ending is ty (doubt anything you write can be ty though).
xinshuang #7
Chapter 16: They are back to square one again? But i dont get it how does Woohyun want to do that ? Is is that easy to dismiss the tension between them?
vince1108 #8
Chapter 16: OMFG WTF BACK ON SCRATCH. well this will be fun... xD
Tally1203
#9
Chapter 16: I'm so glad Woo have made such a good suggestion and my babies will start everything over. I like the story a lot. The way they started their relationship was a harsh one, then how Gyu fell for Woo and apparently Woo felt the same, the moment on the roof was epic, and now when Woo came looking for Gyu. It's so romantic. He'sso Iin loooove and its great. So please, make a good ending ;))
aoiryuki
#10
Chapter 16: Honestly Saf, I really like this story because it has a slow development and you can see Gyu's character in his words and actions. I feel like nowadays people don't really take the time to make a character nowadays. The update frequency is...yeah... but we have lives and being preoccupied isn't a bad thing.

Nam better be serious or else I'm going to punch him.

Thank you for the update you beautiful person♥