Emperor Key's New Clothes will begin in any moment. I suggest that you will eat ice cream while reading this story and be a bee.

    Many years ago in Seoul Empire there lived an Emperor, who cared so enormously for beautiful clothes that he spent all his money upon them that he might be very hot and cool to look at. He's a diva and a fashion expert, he invented the trend that all the villagers in the Seoul Empire wanted to follow, and he called it the Shinee Trend.

This emperor has a name and it is Key. No one knows and no one cares where his name came from but there are rumors that he only invented it and name his being as Key. He did not care about his soldiers and fans, or about the theater or stage performances, nor driving in the park except to show his new clothes.

He had a coat every hour of the day and as they say of a king,

"He's in a council"

And for a CEO,

"He's in a business meeting"

But for Emperor Key,

"The Emperor is in his wardrobe"

In the great city in which he lived in was always very merry, everyday a number of strangers arrived there. One day, two cheats came; they gave themselves out as weavers and declared that they could weave the finest stuff anyone could imagine. Not only their colors and patterns, they said, uncommonly beautiful but the clothes made of stuff possessed the wonderful quality that they became invisible to anyone who was unfit for his office he/she held or was just incorrigibly stupid.

'Hmm... Those would be capital clothes!' thought Emperor Key, 'If I wore those, I should be able to find out what men in my empire are not fit for the places they have. I could distinguish the clever from the stupid. Yes... The stuff must be woven for me directly!' and he laughed hysterically.

Key gave the two cheats who proclaimed themselves as Onew and Jonghyun, a great deal of cash in hand, that they might begin their work at once.

As for Onew and Jonghyun, they put up two looms and pretended to be working but they had nothing at all on their looms. The two cheats at once demanded the finest silk and the costliest gold but those were put into their own pockets and worked at the empty looms all night.

One day, Key decided to send the young minister to see what the clothes' condition, for he was anxious to know the well-being of his new trend but he felt uncomfortable when he thought that the young minister is not fit for his position if he could not see it. He believed that he had nothing to fear for himself but he still prefers to send the minister to see how matters stood.

"I will send Taemin to the weavers!" Key declared as he stood up from his throne, "He judge best how the stuff looks for he has sense and style. No one discharges his office better than he!"

All the people inside the whole city knew what peculiar power the stuff, the clothes that the cheats were weaving, possessed and all were anxious to see how bad or how stupid their neighbors were.

Now, the young minister Taemin upon hearing Key's order went out into the hall where the two great pretenders sat working at the empty looms.

‘OMO!!!’ thought the young minister and he opened his eyes wider. 'I cannot see anything at all!’ But he didn't say this.

Onew begged Taemin to be kind enough to come nearer and asked if he didn't approve at the colors and the pattern. Then Onew pointed to the empty loom and the poor minister Taemin went staring at it but he could see nothing for there was nothing to see.

‘OMO!’ Taemin thought, ‘can I indeed be so stupid? Am I not fit for being the minister? Aniyo! I will not tell a soul that I could not see the stuff!’

Jonghyun stood up from his empty loom and went to Onew's side.

"What can you say, minister?" Jonghyun asked and glanced at Onew. Onew just smiled knowingly.

"Oh, it's charming, quite enchanting!" Taemin answered as he peered through the invisible spectacles. "What a fine pattern and what colors! Yes, I shall tell Emperor Key that I'm very much please with it." He continued to lie. He didn't want them to know that he sees nothing for Key and all the people would say that the young minister Taemin was stupid. He even didn't like the thought of that.

"Well, we are glad about that" The two said in unison and each of them took turn in naming the invisible colors and strange invisible pattern.

The cheaters after that day asked for more money, more silk and more gold which they declared that they wanted for weaving. They put all of it into their pockets and not a thread was put upon the loom yet they continued to work at the empty looms as before.

Emperor Key sent again another honest statesman named Minho to see how the weaving was going on and if the stuff would soon be ready. He fared justlike Taemin did, he looked and looked but he could see nothing.

"Isn't it a pretty and elegant piece of style?" Onew asked, "Jonghyun and I are the ones who created it". Onew explained the stunning pattern which was not there at all.

'I'm not stupid!' Minho thought, 'It must be my good position which I'm not fit! It's funny enough but I must not let it be noticed. Minho calm down'.

And so Minho admired the stuff that he didn't see and expressed his pleasure at the rare colors and beautiful pattern.

"You two are best weavers that came in the city" Minho confirmed, "I can't wait to tell all the charming things I saw to Emperor Key"

And he went to talk to the Emperor. All the villagers inside the empire were talking about the gorgeous stuff and Key wished to see it himself while it was still upon the loom so, he visited the self-proclaimed weavers. Upon seeing the empty looms, Emperor Key stopped on his tracks.

'What's this?' thought the emperor, 'I can see nothing at all! That's utterly terrible! I'm almighty Key but I can't see anything! Am I stupid? Am I not fit for being the emperor? That would be the most dreadful thing that could happen to me!' He screamed in his head.

"Oh! It's very pretty!" Key said aloud, "It's perfect!"

He gazed at the empty loom for he would never say that he saw nothing. The whole suite that he brought with him looked and looked and saw nothing, any more than the rest but like Key, they said.

"That's pretty!"

The whole night before the morning which the procession was to take place, Onew and Jonghyun were up and had lighted more than sixteen candles so that the people would see that they were hard at work, completing Emperor Key's New Clothes. The two pretended to take the stuff down the loom and they made cuts in the air with great scissors. They sewed with needles without thread and at last they said, "Now the clothes are ready!"

The Emperor came himself with his noblest cavaliers and Onew and Jonghyun lifted one arm as if they were holding something and Onew said,

"See, here are the trousers! Here's the coat and here is the cloak!" And so on. "It's as light as a spider's web, and one would think that you have nothing on but that's just the beauty of it"

"Yeee!" All the cavaliers chorused yet they couldn't see anything for nothing was there.

"Does your imperial majesty please to condescend to undress?" said Jonghyun, "Then we will put you on the new clothes here in front of the great mirror"

Key took off his clothes, Onew and Jonghyun pretended to put him each of the new garments and they took him round the waist and seemed to fasten on something that doesn’t exist. Key turned round and round before the mirror.

"Omo! Emperor Key! You look handsome and perfect!" said his cavaliers, "What a pattern! What colors! That's a splendid dress! The new Shinee Trend!"

"Well, I am really" Key smirked, "Do I look hot or something?" And he turned around again in front of the mirror for he wanted it to appear as if he contemplated his adornment with great interest. The two cheats were trying hard not to laugh for they fool the Emperor.

Emperor Key went in the procession under the rich canopy and everyone in the street said,

"How incomparable are the Emperor's New Clothes! How it fits him!"

No one would let it perceived that he or she could see nothing for that would be shown that he or she was not fit for his or her office or was very stupid, so, they kept admiring the invisible clothes of Key.

"The New Shinee Trend! I wish I could wear those too!" shouted by a random villager.

"But, he has nothing on!!!" a little child named Soochan cried out at last. "He has nothing on!"

One started whispering to another what the child had said, "There's a little child that said he has nothing on."

"But he has nothing on!!!" said the whole people at length. And Key shivered for it seemed to him that they were right, he was only wearing his underwear yet he thought within himself,

'I must go through with the procession and besides I have a great body in the first place, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Art Key! Art!!!'

And so Key carried himself still more proudly than ever. He held his chin high and put his hands on his waist as if he was modeling. Soochan's mother covered her eyes with her hands, implying that it is not proper for a young girl to see the Emperor's body.

The great pretenders, Onew and Jonghyun were now far far away with lots and lots of money with them. The two began thinking of building a boy group composed of cheaters, they needed three more members.

The End.



Awful. The two cheats are utterly awful and shameless. Poor surrogate umma. For the next chapter, Jjong and the Beanstalk. Comments and subscriptions are loved.

-One of the onlookers of the procession.