I...love...yo---

 

You held him in your arms, crying, not knowing what to do. Most of the people from the after party were now outside, panicking about what just happened. It was EXO’s manager who called the ambulance and the police at once.

 

The other EXO members were now crowding over Lu Han who was starting to lose more blood.

 

            “WHAT HAPPENED?!” shouted Xiumin looking paler every second while still staring at an almost lifeless Lu Han bathed in his own pool of blood. “What have you done?!” he screamed at you, taking a step forward with his hands clenched tightly. He was advancing at you with those murderous eyes when Lay caught him and held him back.

 

Jonghyun got alarmed that they might hurt you and so he went to your side to shield you from them and to comfort you.

 

You were still cradling Lu Han’s unconscious body when the ambulance arrived. They carried his body inside the ambulance. You didn’t want to be left with all these people whose eyes were now on you. You climbed in the ambulance with Jonghyun sitting beside you, not wanting to leave you alone.

 

All this time, you were staring at Lu Han and soaking in every detail of him: his soft and fluffy brown hair; long curly eyelashes; kid-like nose; pink—now pale lips; his white—now blood-stained porcelain skin; and his doll-like figure. The pillow under his head is now bright red with blood.

 

You were crying like crazy, holding Lu Han’s cold hand. Jonghyun reached for your hand in comfort. You looked at him and could see the worry in his face that you didn’t notice a while ago. He squeezed your hand and gave a sad smile.

 

You arrived at the hospital and they immediately rushed him in the emergency room. The nurses prevented you from going inside and told you to wait outside.

 

You sat on a nearby bench, staring down at your bloody hands. A few minutes passed when Jonghyun stood in front of you and sat down. It just occurred to you that he was missing a few minutes ago. He looked at you and took your hand. He wiped your hand slowly with a wet white cloth. He was doing it lightly and carefully that you could feel his hands slightly trembling.

 

This gesture made you feel like crying but seeing his face made you feel that you should do your part and stay strong as well in front of him.

 

A few moments passed when EXO came to the hospital with their manager. Sehun moved towards the door separating Lu Han from everyone. He saw you and sat beside you, holding back his tears.

 

            “I’m sorry…I…don’t know why and how it happened” you said in between tears. You tried to speak but you just had nothing else to say.

 

            “It’s…It’s not your fault. Don’t feel guilty about the accident. He’ll get sad…” he said with worry obvious in his voice.

 

Xiumin was still standing behind Lay. Although curious and worried about what happened, the other EXO members kept quiet, although they can’t stay still.

 

Less than an hour passed when the doctor finally came out.

 

            “Doctor!” you stood up immediately with the others nearing the doctor as well, anxious for good news. Even Jonghyun stood up beside you and placed his on your shoulder in a calming way.

 

The doctor understood at once who you all were. He looked at you, sighed, and slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry. He didn’t make it.”

 

The EXO members were shocked and can’t believe it. The other EXO-K members were silent but looked really gloomy and crushed. Xiumin punched the wall beside him with Lay trying to control him even though he himself was crying. Tao and Chen sat down with their hands covering their tear-stained faces. Sehun looked longingly at the door, not saying anything. Kris was just silently talking to their manager, who was also crying, trying to be strong in front of the members and trying to hold back his tears.

 

You dropped to your knees and stared at the door. You were silent as tears flowed nonstop from your eyes. “Lu Han…”

 

            “LU HAN! NO!! LU HAN!!” you cried as you hugged yourself.

 

He’s gone! No! It can’t be! It can’t be!! It’s my entire fault! Lu Han!!

 

Not knowing what to do, Sehun tried to calm you down by hugging you but it just made you cry even more. He’s gone. No one can do anything about it. Not even Sehun can calm you down.

 

            “No!!” you cried as you stood up and tried going in. Jonghyun grabbed you by your wrist. You didn’t even look at him. You wanted to go to Lu Han—to wake him up. “He can’t be dead!” you cried out.

 

Jonghyun spun you around and hugged you. “Stop…It won’t bring him back. He’ll be sad to see you like this” he said hugging you even tighter without intentions of letting you go like this.

 

You pounded your fists on his chest in protest; still crying out for Lu Han. “Let me go! Lu Han! He’s not dead! He’s not! He can’t be!” you cried still trying to escape Jonghyun. He just continued hugging you until you got tired and gave up and just cried in his arms. “I’m sorry…I didn’t want this…I didn’t want this…” you cried.

 

            “We know…We know…” he said hugging you. “It’s not your fault.”

 

The nurses came out with Lu Han’s body on a stretcher and stopped in front of you. Jonghyun let go of you and moved towards Lu Han. He looked at you, then to Lu Han and removed the cloth covering his face. You stood beside Lu Han’s lifeless body and cried.

 

He’s gone. I didn’t even had the chance to tell him how much I love him. I’ll never have the chance…Lu Han…

 

You his pale and cold face with you warm hands whispering his name…

 

The other EXO members were now all crying, even the manager. Sehun stood beside Lu Han. He reached for Lu Han’s head and patted it. He took the cloth and covered Lu Han’s face.

 

            “Goodbye my friend. I’ll miss you. We all will.”