A sock. A television remote. A small bear that his mother often sat propped up against that awkwardly located chair that sat in the corner of the bedroom for absolutely no reason whatsoever.


“Get up.”


“No!”


“Come on mum.”


Maybe something heavier. Maybe a book or a shoe or something will be heavy enough for Kyungsoo to get his mother out of bed. His feeble approach at chucking everyday things in her direction have, at least so far, had little to no impact.


“I said I don’t want to go.”


His mother is just about as stubborn as he is, Kyungsoo reasons. It’s time to up the anti.


“Mum, if you don’t get up I’m going to go to the kitchen and pull out a tray of ice cubes and pour them down your back. Or I could get a bucket of water and launch that at your face. Come on, mum. We need to get you to the psychiatrist. You already skipped the appointment yesterday… or do I have to call dad? What about Aunty Kim?”


A look of horror crosses his mother’s face, and Kyungsoo silently does a victory dance. She groans as she sits up straight, turning and pushing her legs out from underneath the doona. Kyungsoo grabs the car keys and jingles them in her face repeatedly, urging her to hurry up.


“Stop, Kyungsoo!” she shrieks.


“We’re already late, mum. Like, actually half an hour late.”


“You think I care?”


Kyungsoo thinks earnestly for a moment.


“No. Nope. Not in the slightest.”






“Oh.”


Kyungsoo stares at the carpet, quite content in ignoring his reflection in the elevator’s mirror and all too aware that some creepy old man is standing behind him with his nostrils flared breathing down his neck.


“Oh… why… why?”


Kyungsoo is also content on ignoring the fact that his mother just lost it in the elevator. A sobbing, uncontrollable mess of snot and tissues. That creepy old man is still breathing down his neck.


“I hate shrinks,” she tells him pointedly as they exit the elevator to the sound of that familiar ding.


“Why do you even bring me here? There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not depressed… I just… I just made a mistake.”


“Mum, you were just crying in the elevator.”


She looks at him exasperatedly as Kyungsoo turns to reenter the elevator, content that the psychiatrist has his mother occupied.


“Listen mum, I’m gonna go buy some milk because we’re out. Call me when you’re done here and I’ll come pick you up, OK?” he says softly. His mother nods, holding a tissue to her nose.





The park by the psychiatrist has always been bright and colourful. He looks up; tracing the clouds above him with his finger as he all but skips through the grass, throwing himself onto a park bench.


It’s the perfect time of year for flowers, and, not surprisingly, this park is no exception. Where the grassy turf ends against straight paved lines, different petals of all kinds jut out at peculiar angles. Even Korea’s national flower, mugunghwa, seems to reach out over the pavements to kiss the skin of toddlers and children that run around playfully.


“Kyungsoo?”


Kyungsoo jumps back, surprised. He cranes his neck, searching for that familiar voice, until he feels the sink of the bench next to him. He turns, almost bedazzled by the sight.


“Kai?”


If possible, he looks much tanner than Kyungsoo had ever first expected. It could be something to do with the light of the sun, he argues; because he’s pretty sure that he himself in all his pasty glory could never match that amount of tan and that amount of pure handsomeness. Could it be fake spray tan? Was Kai into body building? All Kyungsoo knew was that a shirt that hung that low should be completely illegal. Kai should have been arrested by now, at least.


But Kyungsoo isn’t gay, he reminds himself. He likes girls. Well, maybe he does like guys. If only a little bit. He likes Kai at least.


“What are you doing here?” Kai asks, taking Kyungsoo’s hand in his and sighing, staring into nothingness.


“Oh. Well, my mum… she’s uhm… up… you know at the err…” Kyungsoo makes awkward attempts to point at the psychiatrist’s building, and even with his eyes closed, Kai nods.


“Do you want to do lunch?”


Kyungsoo blushes as Kai turns to him, staring him right in the eye.


“I know this place very well, I used to come here often. With my dad. You know… and I had a feeling this would be where you would be.”


“I’m not gay,” Kyungsoo reminds him, to which Kai raises and inquisitive eyebrow.


“Not gay?”


Kai and Kyungsoo are both pretty sure no one believes that statement.