Kyungsoo stares out the window silently, resting his head against the window as the car sweeps its way down the empty streets. Sehun taps monotonously on the steering wheel, eyes flicking between Kyungsoo and the road. He fills the silence with his voice. He grimaces as he watches the road, still unaware of what’s going on.


“You know you’ve never left this much time between something happening and you telling me…”


Kyungsoo hesitates.


“My… mum took quite a few sleeping pills and drunk… half a bottle of Baileys…”


“Baileys?”


“Yep.”


“How do you even drink half a bottle of Baileys?”


“I… just don’t know… guess what else?”


Sehun throws Kyungsoo a wary glance, tapping him playfully on the shoulder.


“You made out with Kai.”


Kyungsoo nods, willing the thoughts of his mother away as his eyes scan the road ahead. He bashes his head repeatedly on the headrest, letting out small squeaks of frustration as he clicks his tongue against his teeth. Sehun’s grown accustomed to this; Kyungsoo always does it when he’s nervous.


“You know, I can never trust if someone that good looking is really into me. You know what I mean… I just don’t get it. If they’re mediocre looking I can sort of… appreciate it a little bit better why their standards would be so low. But when they’re like Kai… I’m just like urgh, what are you hiding?”


Sehun chuckles.


“You know, Yuri was quite good looking,” he says pointedly. Kyungsoo shrugs.


“I don’t think she was that good looking when we got together. Puberty did well with her.”


A pause.


“Just so I know… we’re not talking about your mum because you’re all like… emotionally stunted, yeah?”


“Yep!” Kyungsoo chirps.


“And we’re just ignoring the fact that Kai’s a man?”


“Yep!” Kyungsoo chirps again.


“When he kissed me, my lips started bleeding, because I cut myself shaving, and then I bled actual blood into his actual mouth. That’s the third worst thing that's ever happened to me during .”


Sehun almost pulls over.


“You had actual ?”


“No! Well my lip was bleeding…” Kyungsoo says defensively.


“Are you sure you don’t have feelings you want to share with me? Some kind of… talk?”


“Yep!” Kyungsoo chirps. Sehun blinks at him in amusement.


“You know, it would be good to share your feelings.”

“Nope,” Kyungsoo responds.


“No… nah… nooooo, nope. Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh.”


When the pair finally makes it to the hospital, Kyungsoo feels a hand on his shoulder, he looks up at the pale white walls and imagines what it must feel like to be trapped in such an awful place that smells mildly of washing detergent mixed with moth balls.


“Hi dad.”


“You know what happened? That…”


“You told me on the phone.”


“Did you get a park OK?” he asks.


“Yes!” Kyungsoo shrieks.


“Mum doesn’t know I’m here.”


“Oh.”


“I think mum tried to kill herself,” Kyungsoo’s father whispers, leaning in to Kyungsoo’s ear. Kyungsoo can’t believe what he’s hearing and shakes his head at his father’s stupidity.


“You think?” Kyungsoo retorts.


“Why would she want to do that? It might be my fault.”


“No, dad. Seriously? I doubt it’s your fault.”


A pause.


“Did you tell her I have a girlfriend?” Kyungsoo’s father asks earnestly. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, almost face planting into the reception desk.


“You’ve been divorced for a while now, I don't think it really matters… and no, I didn’t. I’m… I’m going to go…” Kyungsoo gestures down the hallway.


“Oh. Do you think she’d be uncomfortable if she knew I was here?”


Kyungsoo walks away.








“Hi mum.”


A frail woman lies on a hospital bed, her skin pale against the sheets. She looks worn out as she pulls the sheets closer to her face, covering the hospital bed clothes as she hides herself away. Kyungsoo can see she’s strapped to a drip and an I.V. machine, but he imagines this is just for precautionary measures.


“Kyungsoo.”


Her eyes light up as Kyungsoo steps into the room, dragging the chair across the floor so that he can clasp her hand.  She quickly removes her hand from his, picking up a plastic bag by her bedside and retching into it, the smell of vomit filling the room. Kyungsoo chews his cheek and looks away, now extremely interested in the carpet.


“I’m sorry love…” she mumbles.


“Ah, Mrs Do.”


“Yes?”


A nurse walks into the room, clipboard in between her fingers. Kyungsoo gives her a nod and steps out, waves of nausea passing. He walks across to a vending machine, scouring his pockets for a few extra coins. He presses some coins into the machine, hitting a few buttons and stepping back as a Turkish Delight hits the bottom and Kyungsoo hungrily reaches in and snatches it away.


“Hi.”


Kyungsoo whirls around, surprised as he rips the plastic wrapper and flings the chocolate into his mouth.


“Hi? Yuri… what are you doing here?”


“Sorry about your mum,” she says, ignoring the question.


“Oh.”


“How are you?”


“Yeah… I thought you dumped me yesterday?”


“Yep!” Yuri chirps.


“Well I just assumed… you know, I wouldn’t be seeing you as much. And… I can uh… see you?”


“Oh. If you don’t want me here I can go, but yesterday we said we’d be friends, and like… that’s what I’m doing here. You know, trying to be friendly.”


“Oh sorry!” Kyungsoo gushes.


“I just assumed you’d said that to like soften the blow.”


“So you don’t want to be friends?”


“Uh, there’s another thing also… to that. I uh, made out with a boy. You know, male boy.”


“Oh, I know.”


“Yes… Wait what?”


“Yep. I don’t understand why you’d do it on the same day we broke up and all.”


“I didn’t mean to… I mean, he was just there. Do you know what I mean?” Yuri looks at him incredulously.


“There?”


Kyungsoo steps from side to side nervously, drawing the attention of half the ward.


“Well yeah, he was really, really there. Very there.”


Yuri snorts.


“Is that what you think of me?”


“Oh, no! You’re being silly!” Kyungsoo growls with large eyes.


“I mean you were there, and that’s very helpful. It’s necessary even. But you were never there like how this sounds bad urgh… I don’t know!”


Yuri narrows her eyes at him, flicking her hair over her shoulder.


“Somehow I get the feeling you never enjoyed having with me.”


“Oh come on! Nooooo!”


“Well did you?”


“I guess…” Yuri laughs.


“You guess?”


“Yes! The answer to the question is yes! with Yuri, yum!”


“Oh my God Kyungsoo, you’re so frustrating! Why didn’t you just tell me!” Yuri giggles.


“Well my mum tried to commit suicide this morning I have a very good excuse to get out of this conversation!” Kyungsoo announces, turning on his heel as he tosses the wrapper into the garbage. Yuri rolls her eyes, punching him playfully on the arm before trailing him down the corridor.


“What’s going to happen to your mum?” she asks in all seriousness.


“I don’t know. The doctor told me he needs someone to watch her and all. She lives alone, and dad can’t exactly go back to her. She hates Aunty Kim. So I guess I’m going to have to move back in with her. It was that or stick her in a ‘private facility’.”


“A mental home?”


“The doctor said private facility, but that’s what it is, yeah.”


He pauses.


“I can’t be her carer. I don’t know anything about caring. I mean I can cook, yeah. But I don’t know how to care for myself. I never floss…”