ღ Review | My dearest Wife

rєvíєwєr: X_JasielleAle

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ღTitle (4/5)
Simple. Awkward for me. But definitely about love and fluff. The title sounded mature, but the story content weren’t. So, it was rather contra. Never mind that, still, overall nice title.

ღPoster & Background (2/5)
The only part which I liked about your poster was the girl with the winter cap. That was it. Terrible poster I should say.
Mistake as well: For her, I will always by her side. (Seriously? Can you see it?)
Correction: For her, I will always be by her side.

ღForeword & Description (6/10)
Hm.. Alright. There’s just too much to say, let me summarize it for you. Short, simple, but - and terrible. You’ve explained it rather weirdly but somehow, of course, I knew what you were trying to say. Your foreword about your characters was hard to understand. Even if you don’t want people to know their names, at least, put some clue onto it. That’s what a foreword is for!

ღPlot (10/20)
I was thunderstruck. Nice and neatly organized overall so I don’t really have anything to say. Wait, no, I do. Ha, just trolling you.
I’ve seen this kind of story so many times in Korean Dramas. They were all the same. Love, revenge, hatred, misunderstandings, triangle love, pretty boys and girls, sad, dead, horrible past, playboys… Ergh. I don’t know. I haven’t seen the outcome yet, so I hope you won’t disappoint me more.
THEME;
Drama, drama, a lot of drama, but it’s part of my genre, so, I’ll give you some feedback.
First, you should have tagged this as drama. Not everyone likes drama, because they keep repeating, and repeating, AND repeating the suspense & . Note it!
There’s angst, but just like what I’ve said, a lot of drama. Even from Chapter 1 – Chapter 19! Fix your tagging. Don’t worry. I’m not cutting off your marks for this.

ღFlow (8/20)
The overall story went pretty well… so far. Your ideas were there, but the way you’ve mistakenly mix-matched the sentences destroyed the beauty of the story. Sorry to say, I don’t really agree with most of your flows. There were leaks.
For example, ‘Chunji sighed as he opened his front door, walking inside with tired expression.’ I think, the better way of saying this will be; ‘Chunji opened the door with a sigh, entering the house feeling very tired after a long day’s work.’
The tips to fixing these kinds of errors: READ MORE. Not fanfictions, my friend. Read literatures.
And do you by then have improved so I’ll be able to see more of your mind-blowing stories.
One more thing before anything else; the way you named most of your chapters weren’t really appropriate. Try renaming Chapter 50: Her Old Self. For example, ‘His Longing Heart (for Her)’. This comes into the flow because it affects the mood of the readers when they want to know what the chapter’s talking about by looking at the title. Read up your chapters and find some better names/titles for them. But when I say this, ‘this’ doesn’t apply to all of them.
Well, I think I mark your flow of story the most rigidly. You did good, but consider I was being nice, you could’ve been better. You’ve applied too much of ups & downs in the story, but that’s what drama needs. So, I don’t know, what I think you need in this story is more pauses in between es. And you should start shortening up your sentences as well.
Instead of, ‘She yawned lazily and was about to go upstairs and went back to dreamland but was stopped by Infinite.’.
You could have said; ‘She yawned lazily. As she headed for the stairs to return to bed, the Inifnite stopped her.’ Add some full-stops, and don’t put too many ‘and’(s) in one sentence/paragraph, please.

ღGrammars & Spellings (12/20)
I don’t really know how to mark grammars & spelling much. If this was my review rubrics, I would mark it as English. Well, whoever…
I can’t really say that there were any spelling errors because I couldn’t spot much. But perhaps, maybe there were typos. Don’t worry; you’ve got great marks on this. Your grammars, well, I can’t say that I agree with most of your tenses. There were too much but here are the fews;
In Description: …but were replaced by a girl? (tenses error)
Suddenly his life turned upside down. (punctuation and missing word)
…, all the Infinite members already went to their respective home, (wrongly interpreted)

Correction: … but was replaced by a girl?
Suddenly, his life was turned upside down. (but here, I would rather use the word: ‘around’)
…., all the Infinite members returned home. (See? Ain’t this simpler?)
Well, there’s all I could say. Sorry I couldn’t find more errors for you, but to improve, you’ve got to know your own mistakes. If you think you haven’t read enough, read more. Or better, find someone close to you and ask them to fix your grammatical mistakes with you. Like that, you’ll be able to learn.

ღWords (6/10)
There weren’t a lot of ‘pretty’ words in the story. Just like what I’ve said, your sentence structures ruined most of your flows, which indirectly ruined your way of expressing the story through words too. Therefore, the marks were deducted here.
Repetitive words? Of course, everyone has that kind of habit. But you’ve tried too hard not to repeat the same sentence structures instead of words (though you didn’t use much variety of vocabularies) therefore causing you to destroy the flow. Still, you did well. There weren’t a lot of repetitive words used.

ღInterest & Enjoyment (5/10)
But I’ll have to say, I enjoyed your story. Your ideas were boring, but interestingly attractive too. Though I may admit that I don’t like dramas, yours wasn’t a drag. You did a very good job on trolling me.

ღOverall Grade: 53 / 100

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