After a few days of nagging and working the weekend finally came, Saturday night Mr Park came by my room to remind me that I need to leave tomorrow. Not like I don’t already know that. That man has serious problems. I and Ilhoon stayed up all night packing, organizing my books in boxes and plates too. But I can’t help thinking what Junhyung’s reaction would be when he sees me unpacking in their hour tomorrow. It made me feel uneasy. Even though Ilhoon kept saying that Junhyung is okay with it, I kept remembering how awkward we were when I went to their house last week and how we weren’t like that before.

                As we were packing the heaviness of my eyelids fell over me and that dream came back again.

                It was the first time I met Junhyung, me and Ilhoon are finally getting close and he invited me to eat at their house that night since he knew that I always eat alone at my apartment. Junhyung welcome me with a warm hug and smile, instead of ordering food he cooked for us that night. He took care of us well, I remember how jealous I was at Ilhoon for having such a kind brother. After eating dinner we watched a horror movie, I sat next to him he made me feel comfortable and safe, just like how Ilhoon does, but ten times better.

                After watching a movie, Ilhoon fell asleep so Junhyung took me home with his bike. He said goodnight while patting my head and pinched my cheek before he left. And that’s how I fell for my best friend’s bother.

                We shared the same feelings, or was it only me? He gave me a job at his friend’s restaurant, he was so nice and sweet to me. There was pushing and pulling in our relationship, that made it exciting. I never really told Ilhoon what I felt towards his brother, but he found out, though he wasn’t mad, I know he was somehow upset yet happy because the feeling was mutual. Or so I thought.

                Due to the age difference, I had to act like an adult, yeah I do sometimes since I’ve been living by myself for the longest time, time passed by and we started to grew apart, but the sweetness was still there, we tried to make whatever we had work. He was first after all. First boyfriend, first kiss, and first heartbreak. Even though we weren’t official we knew we belong to each other. He broke the trust I gave him, by sleeping with another woman, a woman not a girl, not an innocent girl who won’t give into her Boyfriend’s desire. A woman who’s ier, prettier, taller. A woman who’s every man desire.

                We fought, he didn’t say he was sorry. He didn’t admit he was wrong. He and Ilhoon also fought, Ilhoon took my side, I ruing their relationship. And I didn’t want that. I gave them some space, so they can work things out. I don’t want to ruin a good brotherly relationship just because of a breakup.

                Soon it was only me and Ilhoon. I never went back to that house again. Yeah, I moved on, but I can’t say that I can’t remember the pain and memories he gave and we shared.

               

                “Eun Mi! Hurry, the car’s here!” Ilhoon yelled outside. I grabbed the last box and ran downstairs.

                Junhyung and Ilhoon was already in the car my heart started to beat really fast, I didn’t know what to say or how to act. Today’s the day I have to supress all my feeling in a box and hide it. For the time being, all I need to do is to avoid Junhyung , but how can I possibly do that since we live in the same house?

 

                “Oppa, I’ll take that” I said taking the box full of my books

                “It’s too heavy for you. Just start unpacking. Me and Hyung will take all this upstairs. Don’t worry”

                “He’s right. You’re a girl, all this are too heavy for you” Junhyung popped out of nowhere and took the box that I was already carrying “Go upstairs and unpack”

 

                They took the box to the room that I’ll be staying in, they gave me the room which has its own bathroom, so I won’t feel awkward walking around the house in a bathrobe.

                As I unpack the rest of my stuff, a photo fell from one of my books. It was a picture of the three of us, Me, Ilhoon and Junhyung. It was the picture we took when we went to the amusement park. Our first ‘Family outing’ as Ilhoon describe it.

                “Hey, need help?” Ilhoon said his head poked out from the door. I placed the picture between the pages of the same book and nodded

                “Come here, put these books on that shelf please” Ilhoon smiled and grabbed the pile of books started to organize them on the shelf. I took my bag of toiletries and placed them in the light blur tiled bathroom.

                And with that we were done unpacking. That night Junhyung cooked dinner for us, he was all smile so was Ilhoon, I was the only one in the uncomfortable position.

                “I have to go. After eating dinner wash the dishes okay” Junhyung said then he left

                “Where is he going?”

                “Recording studio, he’s been composing a lot of songs lately, sometimes he doesn’t even come home”

                “So you’re usually left here? Alone?”

                “Yeah. Let’s watch a movie after dinner” he suggested, getting excited

                “Sure. But we have to clean-up first okay” he nodded and kept eating.

                The night passed by slowly, Ilhoon fell asleep while watching, he seriously can’t stay up late. It was a good thing we were watching at his room, i never want to wake him up since he’s sleeping like an angel.

                It was a new feeling sleeping in a different room, house, bed. It felt different, I kept re-organizing my stuff until I felt tired and fell asleep, though it was only for a few hours since my alarm started to went off like crazy, now there was no more cold wind blowing through the broken window just a warm feeling, a lonely one. I grabbed a towel and took a shower, got dressed and went to the kitchen with my bag. There was already food on the table and a note has been left behind.

                Ilhoon-ah

                                I already cooked breakfast for the two of you, I might come home late so fix dinner by yourself or order take-out. Don’t come home late okay? Come straight home after picking Eun Mi up from work.

                                                                                                                                Hyung

 

                “Oh, he made breakfast. He said he’ll be late again right?” Ilhoon asked, not bothering to look at the note.

                “Does he always do this?”

                “Yup. Sit, let’s eat. We’ll be late if you keep asking questions” he smiled and continued eating. Though Ilhoon is smiling I can feel he’s sad about not having to spend a lot of time with his brother. But I better not push it or he’ll get mad at me.