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“…Whenever I feel in love, whenever I feel happy, I go back to the time where it was you and me…”

[Jaejoong POV]

After we separated on our own way, put our relationship at a reconcile point of time, somehow, the loneliness in me couldn’t be hide any longer. I’m all alone in my apartment, without Changmin’s companion under the dim light and cold night.

I took my jacket at the hanger and grabbed my house key. I really need a time to fill this absence of him, the only one I love.

I walked to the nearest supermarket and bought a bottle of Soju. A bottle of pleasure if I may assume to heal the patch of wound in my heart.

I dragged my legs to a playground and settle down myself on an empty swing available there.

I tilted up my head and caught a view of the dark sky above me. Among the darkness, there were uncountable amount of stars to help a night sky, somehow look perfect. Like me and Changmin, there is always either one of us to complete each other lacking.

After a few moments, I took a shot of soju and I just realized this playground. It wasn’t an ordinary playground because here, I met a tall handsome man with y lips being all alone, emptying his bottle of soju.

He is Shim Changmin.

But today, it’s my turn to sit at the same place as he did before, being all alone and still, alone. I took another shot of soju and finally I’d consumed all the liquor without being drunk.

I am good at handling liquor especially when I am in good mood but Changmin was too bad at it. That’s the reason why he always emptying his bottle of liquor at a secluded place as here.

Again, tonight I recalled the past memories and without I realized I keep calling for your name. It sounds right, his name slip out from my mouth though I still can’t reach out for him.

Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

I smiled at Junsu’s advice. For the first time ever Kim Junsu came out with brilliant idea that has been locked up in his small brain. He really should tag along with ginger-bread-vitality man of Park Yoochun.

I giggled at the thought of Kim Junsu was dating the current rank 1 as in actor, that Park Yoochun. They’re happy, far different from mine.

At the thought of that, the slurry sadness started to overwhelm. Why did I am even acting like a girl, being a sensitive, emotional and grumpy.

Changminnie, you did spoil me a lot.

You sure did.

It’s getting colder and there is no Changmin next to me with his warmth. At the loneliness, I decided to spend with some reading. It has been years since the last time I read a book.

I walked into a bookstore and started my searching for the best book. I’m tired with walking around and there is a book that got my attention as there is one quote at the book cover.

‘In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we took too long to make.’

Did the love once I shared with Changmin will be lost and demolish forever and regret was only a word left to utter and feel.

It scared me to death and without a second to wait, I grabbed my phone and connected to Changmin’s number. I’m calling him, without any words of preparation.

“Baby…?”

Listening to Changmin’s voice and still ‘baby’-ing me make my heart beats again. It was like the first time I stared straightly at Changmin’s eyes.

I still love him, I can’t deny the fact. I can’t lie my heart.

“Jaejoongie…? Are you okay there? Answer me!” Changmin sounds so worry. He was worrying me and the pet name he used to call me, I kind of long for that.

“Changminnie, I’m okay… Sorry to keep you worry. Sorry to steal your time. I’m sorry…”

“Baby… Take back your sorry. You did nothing wrong. I love you, always remember that. Take care of yourself and sleep tight. Promise me you’ll eat well, you’ll do fine…”

“Promise…”

“Promise me to wait for me, my return. I’ll clear all this mess first. Will you welcome me back?”

“I will…”

It was so miserable to have a talk with him. Somehow the longing seems grew our love stronger.

“I love you…” he confessed on the other line.

I want to answer him with my love confession too but my voice stuck at my throat. Maybe if a little more faith and trust added, I could confess to him too.

Saying, ‘I Love You, Shim Changmin’ like the first time I ever said.

I love you too, Changminnie…

Please return to me fast, I miss you…