December 25th 2011

Today, because I couldn't fall asleep, I woke up early and decided to write my last entry before giving you up.
I don't know what will happen in our meeting.
I don't know if you will answer my questions or if you will even show up.
I haven't seen you since that day at the mall.
I wonder what we will talk about, I wonder what will happen.

Will you ask for me back?
Or will you let me go?
Will I even go?
I don't even know anymore.

I think you know who I am marrying, don't you?
You and Junhyung used to be bestfriends.
He is my fiance, my lover, my husband and my future.

Do you even think of me?

It's almost time, I have to get ready and I also have to get my mind ready for you.
Not only that but my heart ready too.
It will hurt but it's okay.
As long as you are happy, I will also be happy.
Before I meet with you, I just want you to know something.

I have always loved you since the first day I saw you.
Even if I say that I will forget you, you know that it is impossible.
I have always wished and hoped to be with you until my last days on earth.
I dreamed of growing old with you.
Dreamed of having children with you.
Fighting with you about useless things and everything else.

I wish for your happiness and I hope that whoever you end up with is your o