Fear of rejection

Hoya couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t stop looking at him: his face without any imperfection, his smooth and perfect skin, his big brown eyes, his pink lips (which seemed to call for him every second that passed) and that skinny body.

Everything about him was perfect....For Hoya he was perfect, well…more than perfect, it was everything that Hoya wanted in his life.

Hoya was always the kind of guy who did everything perfectly, nothing escaped him, especially when he danced. At that moment, nothing else existed, unless he, the music, the mirror or the fans, but at the moment, the moment he looked at him, the moment he fell in love with him, everything changed. In these moments (when he danced) all remained the same, however, he also existed, he also was there and Hoya couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Is it possible to love someone so much that even if you try you can’t forget him/her? Or you can’t even try to forget him/her, because when we look at this person, this feeling, this desire to want to forget, completely disappears and all you want is to be with him/her.

And this is what Hoya feels, he can’t forget him, he wants but he just can’t.

And you know what's worse? Is he sees him every day. He is the first person that Hoya sees when he wakes up and the last person that Hoya sees when he goes to sleep – he is your roommate.

"Hyung, are you okay?" Sungjong asked, approaching Hoya, who was lying on his bed

"Huh? Yes, Jongie. I’m okay, I'm just a little tired." Hoya said, sitting up in bed and staring at the maknae

Sungjong said nothing and just fixed his eyes on his hyung. Sungjong knew Hoya was lying because he had noticed that Hoya wasn’t well, however, the older always created an excuse, so that no one would realize that he wasn’t well.

"Oh! Me, Myungsoo hyung and Sungyeol hyung decided to go buy ice cream, you want me to buy one for you?" Sungjong asked, getting up from her bed.

"Hm…yes, please..." Hoya said, lying, again, on the bed

The maknae sighed and left the room, leaving the older alone again.

Sungjong returned to the living room, where Myungsoo and Sungyeol were and sat beside them. They seemed too distracted to realize that he was there too, however, the maknae didn’t mind, he didn’t want them to realize that he wasn’t well so he didn’t have to explain.

He was worried, he was VERY worried with Hoya. He couldn’t stop thinking about his hyung, he couldn’t see th older sad or in pain. We could say that Sungjong likes Hoya in a different way…but he wouldn’t admit it. Why? Fear of rejection.

However, in the bedroom, Hoya couldn’t stop thinking of Dongwoo’s words, his best friend.

He had told Dongwoo his feelings for this person and Dongwoo advised him to talk to him, however, Hoya was afraid of being rejected.

Well, and Hoya:

1) thought he was dating another member (but he wasn’t of course, but well….ok, Hoya doesn’t know why he feels this way, it’s maybe he’s just jealous of their friendship)

2) He isn’t exactly the kind of guy ideal for him

3) He was shy. He might not show it, but Hoya was a shy boy.

Hoya sighed and put the headphones on and pulled the blankets, in order to get some sleep. Today, INFINITE had a free day, which was unusual but whenever they had a day like this, the members took the opportunity to rest at home or go out a bit.

Today was one of those days when Hoya didn’t want to leave the house and wasn’t the only one.

Dongwoo, when they entered in the house, after a night of filming, went to his room and didn’t come out of there, not even for lunch.

Woohyun and Sunggyu, after lunch, also went to their room, while Sungjong, Sungyeol and Myungsoo were in the living room.

However, the living room...

"Hyung, can we go buy ice cream now?" Sungjong asked, looking at Myungsoo, who was sitting right next to Sungyeol.

"Hm...sure...Sungyeol hyung, will you come with us?" Myungsoo asked, looking at Sungyeol

"No, you two go." Sungyeol said, smiling a little

Myungsoo pouted a bit but then smiled, in order to hide what he made seconds before.

"Okay, hyung. We'll be right back, okay? "Myungsoo said, getting up from the couch

Sungyeol nodded and the two boys left the dorm.

Sungyeol stood up and decided to go check on the rest of the members. They all seemed quite tired, which was normal because even Sungyeol was tired.

Sungyeol walked, silently, in Sunggyu’s and Woohyun’s room and noticed that both were sleeping quietly. One beside the other, Woohyun with his arm around Sunggyu's waist. (A/N: WooGyu moment keke) He smiled and left the room without making any noise.

Then, he went to Dongwoo's room and saw that Dongwoo was asleep too.

Hyung really needed to rest, he looked really tired. Sungyeol thought

Sungyeol closed the door and went to Sungjong’s and Hoya’s room and found the older, lying in bed with his eyes open and listening to music.

"Hello, hyung!" Sungyeol said, smiling at Hoya

Hoya noticed Sungyeol’s presence, seconds later, and removed one of his headphones, looking, then, at him.

"Hello! Weren’t you buy ice cream? "Hoya asked

"Yes, Myungsoo and Sungjong left a few minutes ago to go buy ice cream." Sungyeol said, sitting on Sungjong’s bed

"Oh! Ok" Hoya said, looking at the ceiling of his room

Sungyeol said nothing for a moment, and Hoya did the same. The atmosphere was getting stranger and neither dared look at each other.

Meanwhile, Hoya couldn’t stop thinking of Sungyeol’s words: "Yes, Myungsoo and Sungjong left a few minutes ago to go buy ice cream."

Why Sungyeol didn’t go buy ice cream with the other two boys? Did he fight with Myungsoo or with Sungjong?

No. Hoya thought.

Sungjong, Myungsoo and Sungyeol had a good friendship (well...Myungsoo and Sungyeol had much more than a friendship, but both were too distracted to realize they both felt the same) and Hoya only saw them once angry at each other. It lasted a few hours, but it was really hard.

"Hyung…" Sungyeol called, softly

Hoya and looked to Sungyeol and the younger looked at him for a few seconds, with a concerned expression (Sungyeol could seem a little distracted, but when it came to people, he knew very well when they were well or not and Hoya didn’t look well and Sungyeol already noticed a few days ago).

Hoya realized Sungyeol’s expression and he knew very well that he hadn’t succeeded in lying to Sungyeol, Hoya knew that Sungyeol had realized that something was wrong with him.

"Sungyeol-ah, you ever had so much fear of something that even if you tried again and again, you couldn’t stop being afraid of that?" Hoya asked, looking at the floor

"Yes..." Sungyeol said, in a low voice "Even today I’m afraid."

Myungsoo. Hoya thought. Yes, it was that. Sungyeol was afraid to confess his feelings for the younger. Hoya understood it very well, in fact, they were both in the same situation, right?

"What should we do?" Sungyeol asked, looking at Hoya

"Face it..." Hoya said, in a uncertain voice

"Maybe..." Sungyeol said, sighing

Then, Sungyeol and Hoya looked at each other and both realized that maybe it was time to face that problem, maybe it was time to say all that they had in their hearts.

Fear. Insecurity. Speculation. This was what went through the mind of these two boys. But it was time to face the problem.

Sungyeol got up and went out of Hoya’s room, returning a few seconds later. Hoya looked at him, curious, however, as soon as he saw what Sungyeol had in his hand, he smiled slightly.

"I hid it." Sungyeol said, sitting up in bed again "I sleep with it every day, he didn’t notice it....but maybe it's time to give it back."

"You can do it, choding." Hoya said, laughing lightly

Sungyeol laughed a little too, and muttered, "Thanks".

Sungyeol looked at Hoya and with his eyes, he encouraged him.

"Go." He said, smiling

Hoya smiled slightly and, for a few seconds, he thought, however, then he got up and walked out of his room, without looking back.

At that moment, Myungsoo and Sungjong entered the dorm and both were laughing. Hoya looked at them and said nothing.

"Hello, hyung!" Myungsoo said to Hoya "Where is Sungyeol hyung?"

"Hm...he's in my room." Hoya said, looking directly at Sungjong

Myungsoo nodded, then left the room, leaving Hoya and the maknae alone.

It’s now. Hoya thought. He took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Sungjong looked at him and, without saying anything, sat down beside him.

"It’s now that you're gonna tell me what's wrong with you, hyung?" Sungjong asked, after a few minutes of silence

Hoya turned completely to him and fixed his gaze on the maknae: those lips, that he wanted to kiss; those eyes, that he could look for hours and hours; those hands, that he wanted to hold for the rest of your life....

Yeah….it’s true, Hoya was completely in love with Sungjong.

How did that happen? This…not even Hoya knows. He simply found himself thinking too much about the maknae, having dreams with him, he couldn’t stop looking at Sungjong….

"Yes, finally I can say it..." Hoya said, smiling slightly

Sungjong was still looking at him, with those brown eyes, and waited for Hoya said something.

"I love you." Hoya said, looking directly to the younger

Hoya wanted to see how Sungjong would react but Sungjong just didn’t react. He just looked at him, his body froze, his lips closed....nothing...he didn’t yelled.... he didn’t rejected Hoya...nothing...he just looked at Hoya.

Finally, Sungjong opened his mouth and let two simple words escape his lips:

"Me too."

It seems that neither of them had to be afraid of rejection.

_______________________________________________________________________

Hello!!!! I’m sorry, I said I would update Sunday or Monday…I know but I was sick :( I had gastroenteritis. It was horrible T_T

But…well, here I am, updating the oneshot >.<

HOJONG!!!

Ok, so I don’t know it’s not what I expected but I like it (: It’s my first time writing an HoJong oneshot (or fancfic xD but in this case is oneshot), usually I write MyungYeol, Lhyun, MyungGyu, WooGyu, Yadong…but I like this couple too >.< Hoya and Sungyeol are the ones that I ship with Sungjong ^_^

I hope you enjoyed :D

Now it’s spam time!!! HoJong SPAM!