I pretended it was not hard for me to send her off. I kept telling her that it was alright and that she should get going and get inside the building since it was cold. As she finally stood in front of the automatic glass doors of the building, it immediately opened; as if hurrying her to go inside now and leave me be.

I was just sending her back home, why would it be too hard? Why? It was because this would be the last time that I’ll be seeing her, the last time that we would be in this relationship, the last time I could claim that she’s mine.

She wouldn’t enter the building, even though I kept telling her to just go. She kept on turning back to me. After a minute or so of forcing her to enter, she finally gave in. When she was finally inside, I felt my heart sank. The glass doors instantly closed, separating her from me just like that. I thought that she would head to her room already but no, she didn’t. She kept standing there and looking at me, not wanting to leave. I signaled her to head to her room already while mouthing the word ‘go’. She just looked at me and shook her head. Neither of us two wanted to go but I insisted her. Finally, she turned toward the dim-lit hallway of the building.

I sighed smiled a longing smile. Watching her retreating back and ready to leave, I was stopped dead on my tracks. Before I knew it, she was already walking back to me. Those doors, those damn doors that seemed to become the great wall that separated as minutes ago opened, letting her come to me once again, one last time.

When she was already out and approaching me, I told her, “Don’t do it like this.” She knew I did not mean it in a bad way. She was already in front of me when she said, “I’ll miss you and… Thank you… for everything…” And as she said those last two words, she leaned toward me for a hug. Yes, only a hug, a hug that didn’t even last for more than five seconds yet it felt like eternity to me. At the back of my mind the sentence, “This is the last time,” kept on nagging me.

We were never those typical couples out there that do skinship naturally so that hug was a very special one. With that and one final sweet smile for me, she turned her back and headed toward the building once again. This time, for sure, there was no more coming back. I watched her shadow fade into the hallways of that building before I started on my way to my car which was parked at the corner of the block.

To myself, I said the words, “Goodbye… my love…” With a heavy heart, I drove back to my own abode. While driving, I kept on reminding myself as to why we needed to end this relationship, again and again. It was not like we found someone else to care for. It was just because we both have our own duties, duties that must come first than this, that require us to quit, to give more focus on them.

Even though both of us didn’t want to let go, what could the two of us do? It was for the best of her, of me, of us.

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to be continued.