I'm sorry for the late update guys :( im experiencing a major writer's block, and still am actuallly. But i couldnt just leave this story hanging for such a long time since i know how it feels like to wait for a fic to update. That is, if anybody is anticipating my story that much. lol. Anyways, please please please leave a comment. would really appreciate it and will make me feel more excited to update and i would like to know how you guys think of it so far and if there's any improvements that i could do for the story. so yeah.. hope you'll enjoy this :)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

     The car was filled with silence. Since the news have finally made it out in public, Minjae didn’t dare to switch on the radio. Opting for the silence instead. The 6 men inside, excluding Minjae who was in charge of driving, were all lost in their own thoughts. Aside from the firm ‘No’ from Junho when Junsu wanted to move further inside to sit next to him, there were no other words uttered ever since they started piling inside the van. Minjae thought it odd at first, but then formed his own theory that maybe Junho just wanted some space on his own. It wasn’t until he notices the way that Taec, who was sitting at the passenger seat right next to him, has been consistently  staring at the empty spot through the rearview mirror, did it clicked on him. That empty spot.

     That empty spot, which was usually occupied by their 6^th member. Their missing puzzle piece. The absence of which, had caused all this misery.

     Junho had deliberately saved the place for their Wooyoung..

Aish not now Minjae! Hold your tears. Be strong. Be strong be strong be strong. He repeated the mantra over and over in his head.

     He wonders for a second whether the seating arrangements will always be like this from now on. With a vacant seat in the middle of the two Junbros. Or is there even a future where the five of them would be piled in the same van again. Minjae mentally slapped himself for even thinking about that.  

     Stupid Minjae. Again, he cursed to himself.

     It really is inevitable to not think of Wooyoung, when their motive to travel is to go and…meet? the boy for the last time. sighing, Minjae felt like screaming his lungs out. From the frustrations of having to take it all in, whilst at the same time, not quite believing it either. They’re gonna go and meet him now. They’re gonna go and witness with their own eyes now, that he’s gone. That he’s really left them. That this.. this whole nightmare.. this catastrophe.. is actually a reality. He himself finds it hard to believe, even if he’s the one who was responsible to deliver the news to them.

     Stealing glances at the back, his attention was caught by Nichkhun, who keeps on fiddling with a necklace around his neck. Spinning the attached ring round and round with his fingers while he gazes outside of the window seat. Minjae recognizes the ring, he thought sadly. Once in a while, Minjae would caught the boy slightly curving his lips, almost as if he’s smiling. Or at least, trying to. And the next minute, the trace of the attempted smile would be gone and the look that he’s been wearing throughout the ordeal would come again. But at least he seems to be in a better control now. Eventhough the thought couldn’t be entertained just yet since Minjae knows that grief could make even the calmest of man, to be hysterics. It’s too soon. It’s still too soon. He wouldn’t want to be unprepared if Khun, or any of the other members suddenly broke out again.

     Glancing to the seat in front of Khun, Minjae could just make out the solemn features of Junsu, since he was half leaning on the window, tears silently making its way down the latter’s cheeks.

He’s still crying even now.. minjae could only sighed.  

----------------------------------------FLASHBACK-----------------------------------------------------------

“ you junsu! Just.. you!!’

Sounds of smashing glasses. The opening and slamming of a door. And a loud, but soft wailing.

     That was what Minjae was faced with when he came to the dorm to check on the boys that evening. To be frank, he had expected a fight to break out sometimes among the boys. It’s only natural after all, considering that they’re all at the peak of their grief.

     The room was a mess. Just as he had expected. Papers and pictures were strewn all over the floor. He could even make out a few empty beer cans here and there. And right at the corner of the room, where Junsu’s desk is, sat Junsu. His head on the table, appearing as if he’s asleep. One hand still clutching a beer can. But Minjae knows better by the slight convulse of his body that he’s actually weeping.

     Minjae went to approach the boy and lightly patted his back. He noticed how the monitor of the latter’s computer screen is of a picture of him, wooyoung and junho. Standing shoulder to shoulder with Wooyoung’s hand hugging them both to his sides. Even if the quality of the picture is not as good as those taken by a professional, it was probably taken by themselves on their day out), the happiness they potrayed was worth a thousands more. They looked so.. happy. So carefree. Years of training, and finally, debuting together in a group had made them all so close.

. “it…it hurts so much…”  The faint murmur brought Minjae’s focus back to the boy beside him.

“Is it so.. so wrong for trying to get drunk?? For.. for trying to run away from the truth..?

even just for awhile… I can’t.. I just can’t…”

Not Uyoungg..” The boy’s sob suddenly getting louder. Like it has suddenly become unbearable to hold the tears in.

     Minaje kept on listening. He thinks its best to stay silent. Not that he has any words to offer that can console the boy anyway. He fears that if he even tries to open his mouth, it would be to join the boy in his mourning instead.

     Junsu had always drown his sorrow by getting drunk. And he usually wasn’t alone. Most of the time, Taec, Channie, or even Khun, would join him and they would drink till they passed out together. But this time, his disappearing act last night had somewhat caused Taec to lose it on him. MInjae knows that Taec thinks it’s unfair how he has to shoulder all the responsibilities for s while the eldest hyung of the group ran away to get wasted. Even though junsu’s more fragile than him, they should’ve at least gone through it together. MInjae knows so well what’s on Taec’s mind that the boy didn’t even have to tell Minjae himself for Minjae to know the cause of his outburst.

    Junsu’s breathing gradually becomes even again. He raised his head for a few seconds to take a sip out of the can. He then hiccupped, followed by a series of giggles. This sudden change in mood is expected when the effect of alcohol kicks in.

“Udongie.. he…he.. *hic*.. had always called me ridiculous..” Junsu slurred.

“Always nagging at me, making a furious expression.. *hic*.. he thought its scary, when actually its just cute….” That, Minjae had to agree. Junsu laughed briefly, before suddenly, undergoing a drastic change in mood.

“But, *hic* he… he had always believed in me..

always snuck into my room…

bothering me when im composing to ask for my opinions on music..

see! He values my opinion.. you see that hyung! You see that!” Junsu drunkenly jabbed at Minjae’s arm. With his other hand, Minjae continued to rub circles on his back, urging him to talk. To let it all out.

“he.. he has a lot of faith in me hyungggg…

had always told me that I could make it big.. as big as this! see! Kekeke.. 

he.. he recognizes me for what I am… Appreciates my talent, even when nobody else looked at me.

He.. he gave me a lot of strength…” Junsu stopped to take a sip of the beer again.

‘you know hyungg.. minjae hyunggg.. kekeke.. *hic*

I.. I cant picture my life without him hyung.. our life.. 2pm!

What would 2pm be without Wooyoung~~ can u picture it hyung??..

I.. I just can’t..“ Junsu’s voice suddenly dropped a little. Less upbeat this time.

“He… *hic* he accompanies me when im at my lowest point..

he helped me.. gain my self esteem…

i.. I owe him so much hyung.. so much!!

He’s so special… so special.. so so sooooo special.. *hic*

He could make me smile and laugh.. even when he’s not there with me.

Just remembering the things he said.. or did.. can make me smile.

So sarcastic though.. always so witty and sarcastic…

But he has a kind heart.. a good friend..brother..

Such a hardworking boy.. so admirable

I’ve always admired his guts hyung.. I wished I could’ve told him that..

he’s such a.. precious dongsaeng to me..

he calls me Daegu grandpa.. keke.. nags at me a lot though!

But.. but so caring ..

I wish.. I wish I had gotten the chance to tell him.. how important he is to me… how much he has helped me…

how much he means to me…

to us..

and how proud I am of him…”

     From the way his breathing suddenly become labored with each sentences, Minjae could feel him about to burst into tears again. And that he did.

     And Minjae couldn’t hold it in anymore, silently joining in. He hugged the younger boy in front of him. His eyes felt compelled to look at the screen again. To the mandoo cheeked boy in the middle.

Wooyoung ah.... did you hear that? Did you hear how proud your junsu hyung is of you?

Why did you have to leave us so soon?

……………………………………    

     And that face on the screen is still smiling warmly. Pearly white teeth shown to perfection of the serene face that belongs to Jang Wooyoung.