Taeyeon's POV

Do you know how its like to love someone, who loves someone else and you know that you're not a match for that person?

Do you know how its like to want to be able to protect someone you love, yet you know you're not in the condition to?

Do you know how its like if your biggest mistake in life is falling in love?

***

I wasn't a normal kid.

I never was.

I was born to die.

From the moment I was born, I already had a short lifespan.

Shorter than many other humans.

I was the only unfortunate kid in my family.

I was born with the Turcot Syndrome.

No one except my family and my best friend, Sunny knew.

The school knew, which was why I was excused from Physical Education.

But only my teachers and the principal knew.

They didn't tell my classmates for they didn't want them to treat me indifferently.

The secret was perfectly safe.

Despite my illness, I topped the class in most subjects.

But when it comes to Physical Education, I was excused.

Halfway through my senior year, my condition worsened.

So my grades fell lower and lower.

Which was why I was then forced to go for tuition.

And there, I met an angel.

I walked into the tuition centre to register with my brother and saw an eye-smiling girl at the counter talking to one of the teachers.

I was here for English and Korean, since my maths and science were still alright.

When it was time for the first lesson, I went into the room and saw that same eye-smiling girl and that same teacher.

"Hello, I'm Taeyeon."

"Hello Taeyeon, I'm Ms Han Sunhwa."

I bowed.

"Tiffany, greet Taeyeon."

"Hello, Taeyeon. I'm Tiffany." she flashed an eyesmile at me.

And from then on, I knew.

I knew I was going to make the biggest mistake in my life.

Our first lesson together was really quiet.

But after 3 months, we became the closest of friends.

Thanks to the tuition, my grades went back up and I wasn't topping only my class, but also my school in the end.

Then we both got into the same university and were even dormmates...

"Taetae~!" she called with her angelic voice.

"Hmm?" I said lazily, half awake.

"If you don't wake up soon, we'll be late!"

"Aish, Fany ah... our dorm is so near the classroom. We won't be late. Give me a few more minutes."

"Taetae! WAKE UP NOW. N.O.W!"

"Geez, fine." I yawned as I woke up.

I went into the washroom and washed up.

But halfway, my head started spinning.

Everything around me was spinning.

I ended up lying on the side of the bathtub.

Tiffany's POV

"Taetae, why are you taking so long?"

"Taetae? Are you okay in there?"

"Taetae?"

"Taetae?!" 

I barged in and found her leaning on the bathtub.

"Taetae! Are you okay?!"

I quickly asked Yul and Sica to come over and they helped me carry Taetae to the nurse's office.

"Ah, I see what the problem is. She hasn't been getting enough sleep. I'll just excuse her for two days from school for her to rest and she should be fine. The three of you, I'll write a letter to explain why you were late. Hurry along now."

Sica, Yul and myself ran all the way to class with that letter.

It was so different during class.

I didn't have my crazy friend who would laugh like an ahjumma at the little jokes I tell her.

Taeyeon's POV

"Thanks for covering up, Dr. Park."

"No problem, Taeyeon. Looks like your condition is worsening again."

I sighed.

"I'm used to it."

"So... I see you have a liking to Ms Hwang?"

"Yeah... I guess. But I can't."

"Taengoo ah."

"No worries, Sunyoung unnie."

She smiled a little, "Alright then, get rest."

"It wouldn't help anyway. Can I stay home and play the computer?"

"No, Taeyeon." she shook her head.

"Fine." I was about to go out when she stopped me.

"Wait... uhh, what does Sunny like?"

"Why are you so interested?"

"I asked her out for a date so... yeah."

I giggled, "Buy her a video game. She'll go crazy."

"Alright, Thanks Taeng."

"What did I tell you about caling me that? Taengoo is alright. But Taeng isn't."

"Yet you allow Ms Hwang to call you Taetae?"

"It's cute kay?"

"Whatever you say, Taetae." she put emphasis on the nickname.

"Only she can call me that."

"Just admit it, it's cause you have that crush on her."

"I do." I admitted which erupted in laughter from the both of us.

"Go and rest, Taeyeon. Remember."

I nodded, "Geez, you're like Sunny and Jiwoong oppa."

She laughed as I went out.

Yeah, that's right. I can't fall in love.

But neither can I close my heart.

I walked back to the dorm and went to sleep.

But I couldn't.

So I ended up surfing the web on the couch.

I rarely went home.

Afterall, I'll be pretty much alone.

Dad and Jiwoong oppa would be working and Hayeon would be in school.

My mom you ask?

She died. 

From the same disease I have.

I inherited it, unfortunately.

My condition isn't so bad that I have to go to the hospital yet.

But I guess it would be coming.

I thought that maybe listening to songs would help me relax.

So I listened to my CLASSICAL playlist.

Inside, there were many Baek Ji Young and Kim Bumsoo songs.

And I ended up sleeping, like a baby, still on the couch.

Tiffany's POV

I was walking with Yuri and Sica, when I saw my crush.

Jang Wooyoung.

He was known as a playboy, which was true.

I mean he's handsome, hot and muscular.

Who wouldn't want someone like him?

"Yah, stop spazzing about Wooyoung already. He's not that great." Yul told me.

Sica nodded, "Mmm. Idiotic playboy. My Yul is soooo much better."

"Well of course you'd say that. He did break your heart before." I .

"Yup, and I healed it." Yul smiled proudly.

I laughed.

"Uhuh, sooo you need to have someone who could heal your heart once it gets broken by him." Sica smiled.

"What's with that smile?" I asked her.

Yul then somehow caught on, "Yeah. Find someone who could heal your heart."

"Where am I supposed to find that?"

"I don't know. Look around you?"

Then I understood, "Are you guys thinking about a certain person I'm thinking of?"

"If her name starts with the letter T then I'm pretty sure we are."

"Come on. I don't love her like that. Neither does she love me like that."

"Really, Fany? Really?"  Yul questioned me.

"Yeah. It's impossible for us to be together." I explained.

Then Wooyoung walked towards me.

"Hey, Fany. Want to go out on Friday night?"

"Uhh, where?"

"Movies?"

"Uhm, okay?"

He then gave me a piece of paper.

"Text me and we'll see what time to meet. Bye, Fany." he then turned to Sica, "Bye Yuri and--"

"Cut it, jerk." Sica said harshly.

"Woah Woah Woah. Not my fault a hotter girl came along."

"Ugh, whatever." The three of us walked away, me being the only one who said goodbye to him.

"Why did you accept his offer?" Sica asked me.

"Cause I have a crush on him."

"Still. I am serious. He's a major playboy. You of all people, being his stalker, knows how many girls he's been with."

"I'm NOT a stalker."

"Really?" Sica shook her head, "It's true. When someone has a crush on someone, everyone can see it except the person."

"If Wooyoung didn't see it then why did he ask me out?"

"That wasn't what I meant." they walked away.

What did she mean?

Oh well, let me go tell the good news to Taetae.

But what she said, meh.

She wouldn't love me like that.

I went back to the dorm and saw her sleeping.

Well, then I shouldn't wake her up.

Then I went to look for the laptop.

It isn't anywhere.

I was about to wake Taetae up when I saw the laptop on the coffee table near the couch.

"Oh. There it is." I muttered before grabbing it.

When I opened it, she was writing something on Facebook.

"Love is a connection between two people who are attracted to each other so much that they won't mind giving up many things for them. Love is how I feel towards you."

Wow. Who does she love?

Now I'm really curious.

I'm thinking... Sunny?

She seems to be very close to Sunny.

Even closer than we are.

She slowly stretched as she waved at me, a habit she has.

"How was class?"

"Not as good as you sleeping in the dorm."

She chuckled, "Too bad. If only you fainted like me."

"Yeah. I should stay up late at night." I smiled, "Just joking. Class was alright. But it felt different. Without a crazy ahjumma friend."

"Why? Miss me too much?" she joked.

I chuckled, "Naw. Not really. Things got much better when Wooyoung asked me out."

"Wooyoung... asked you out?"

I nodded.

"Well, what did you say?"

"Of course I'm going out with him. We're going on Friday."

"Wait, going out as in literally going out or as in dating?"

"Literally going out."

"Oh. Okay. Uh, what time are you going out on friday?"

"I don't know. We're supposed to discuss it."

"Oh. Okay."

Taeyeon's POV

She agreed that quickly?

Without thinking?

Well, she must really like him then.

At least more than me.

I felt my heart sink when I thought of that.

"I... I think I'll be going back to my room to sleep. When you're done with the laptop, mind lending it to me?"

She nodded.

"W-Wait, Taeyeon."

"Hmm?"

"Uhh... I... I'm free on Friday right?"

Does she remember?

"Yeah, I'm sure you are."

You're not... at all.

It's when I need you by my side the most.

But nevermind, just go out with Wooyoung.

It's not everyday your crush asks you out right?

Well, in my case, yeah.

Cause she doesn't know.

And I never plan to tell her.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks." she went into her room.

Oh well, I can call Sunny.

And here comes the dreaded friday.

Right from the moment I woke up, I wasn't feeling anything.

It was as if I wasn't in the world.

But I was.

I went out when I saw Fany about to go out.

"Have fun on your date with Wooyoung." I tried to joke, but I didn't feel anything.

"It's not a date!" she smiled back.

Even that smile.

Even that smile couldn't make me feel anything.

Maybe if it was constantly used in the day, it might happen?

But she's going out with Wooyoung.

A while after she left, Sunny came.

"Hey, Taengoo. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Where's Fany?"

"Out with Wooyoung."

"Today?!"

I nodded.

"What?! She forgot?!"

I nodded again, this time actually feeling a little hurt.

"How could she?! Ugh! And she calls herself your friend?!"

"It's not her fault. She asked me if she was free. Of course I'd say yes, I'm sure her date with Wooyoung is more important anyway..."

"Taengoo yah..."

"Anyway, so how was the date with Sunyoung unnie?"

"You know about it?"

"Yup. I visited the nurse's office recently."

"Don't tell me..."

I nodded again, "Anyway, sooo, how was it?"

"I got Super Mario Ver. 9. You know how I've been dying to get that."

"Ah, so she ended up buying you a video game."

"Why?"

"Nothing." I acted innocent, "Are you guys a couple now?"

Sunny blushed, "I guess so..."

"Great! Let's celebrate!"

"Kim Taeyeon." she looked at me.

"Of course I remember. After paying respects to my mother. I know."

"Good. I thought you forgot."

"How could I?" I asked her.

"True... Let's go!"

We went to the cemetery.

And I bowed.

Mom, can you hear me? Why did you have to die so early? If only you were here. You'd be comforting me. Remember the times when I sat on your lap and you would read to me every night? Do you remember me crying over my spilt ice cream? Do you remember what you asked me before you went on your way to heaven? You asked me to love someone who would accept my illness. Well, the person I love doesn't even know...

Before I knew it, tears started to drop.

"Yah, Taeng! Are you okay?!" she asked me.

"Yeah. Just... sad. She can't come back."

"Taengoo, look into the future. It won't be that bad."

"Really, Sunny? The only future I see is Wooyoung and Fany together and me dying."

"Think of a more optimistic future?"

"Aish... it's no use."

"Let's go for ice cream! It always cheers you up."

"Right." I was already excited when I heard it.

When we were eating it, I heard a song.

A song I always listened to.

"As Usual" by Baek Jiyoung.

My most played song on my iPod.

"I can't believe that girl. Aigoo. How can she forget this day? You remember everything about her and she doesn't even remember the simplest day you would be hurt on?"

"When you love someone, you'll remember everything about them. That's the only difference between us. I love her, she doesn't. Why should she remember?"

"Anyway, it's getting late. Let's head back." she changed the topic.

"Yeah. Let's go."

We went back to my dorm.

When we got back, I was more like usual.

Since I was bottled up just now, all my emotions were flowing back.

One is more than usual actually.

Hurt. 

Things got to me now.

Tiffany chose Wooyoung over me.

She went out with Wooyoung.

She forgot.

I felt dizzy, then eventually fainted again.

Sunny's POV

"Taeng?! YAH! Are you okay?!" I tried waking her up after she fainted.

I waited for about 2 hours before she woke up.

"Taeng!"

"I'm fine... just tired."

"Aigoo, looks like I have to find Hyomin." I shook my head, "You better rest. Before it worsens."

She nodded then went to sleep.

Around 9pm, Tiffany came back.

"Oh, Sunny, you're here?"

"Yup, to replace someone who should be spending this day with her best friend but unfortunately forgot."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I only know that she didn't spend this day with her best friend and instead went for a date with an idiotic playboy. Now who could that be?" I asked.

"Me? What's so special about today?"

"Take a look at the calendar, Miyoung. Because we too are good friends, I won't kill like how I would have with other people."

"What? It's 27th of July. So?"

I shook my head.

"27th of July... wait. Isn't it her mom's... oh... how could I forget...?"

"Exactly what I was thinking."

She rushed to Taeyeon's room.

"What happened? Why is she sleeping so early?"

"She fainted. I told her to get rest. Stay with her, I'm going to pay Sunyoung a visit."

"Uhh, who's that?"

"Ms Park."

"Ah. Okay. See you, Sunny."

"I'm coming back."

I then went down to see Hyomin.

I knocked on the nurse door.

She lives in a room next to her office.

Since kids these days might injure themselves while partying late in the night sometimes.

"Who's that? If it's just a cut, just come in and bandage it yourself."

"It's not." I said through the door.

"Then what illness do you have?"

"Lovesick."

"I'm not a lovesick doctor!" she grumbled.

I chuckled, "I'm lovesick because my girlfriend who's sleeping doesn't want to greet her bunny. Help me, Hyomin ah."

She quickly came to the door.

"Why didn't you say it was you, Sunny?"

"I wanted to play."

She pulled me into her arms.

"Seriously, why are you here?"

"I wanted to pay you a visit since I came to visit Taeyeon."

"Oh. Right. Today is..."

I nodded.

"That and Taeyeon fainted again."

"It's more than fatigue, Sunny. I found the cause of why she faints."

"Really?"

"Yup. That time she came, I found out."

"So why?"

"Call her down. Alone."

I nodded before calling.

Tiffany picked up the phone, "Yes, Sunny?"

"Could you ask Taeyeon to come down? Alone?"

"Oh... she's sleeping. Why?"

"Nothing. Just wake her up and tell her to come down. Tell her that Hyomin wants to see her."

"Oh okay..."

Taeyeon's POV

I woke up, seeing Tiffany.

"Oh, hey. You're back? How's the date with Wooyoung? Did he ask you out again?"

"Sorry. I'm really sorry. I forgot. Sorry."

"It's okay, Fany. Sunny accompanied me."

"I know... uhh. Sunny wanted you to go down alone. Uhh someone called Hyomin wants to see you."

"Hyomin unnie? Oh..."

"Do you want me to go down with you?"

"No... it's fine. I can go down alone."

I walked down.

Why does Sunyoung unnie want to see me?

I knocked on the door.

Sunny pulled me in.

"Yes?"

"I found out the cause of why you faint so often." Sunyoung unnie said.

"Let me guess. When I feel Hurt, Sad or something along those lines."

"How did you know?"

"It's my body. Of course I know. Is that why my condition worsens too?"

"When you faint, it usually worsens so... indirectly, yeah."

"Okay. Whatever. I'm going to die anyway."

"Taeng, don't you want to go for an operation or something?"

"Operation? No. I don't want to burden my brother and dad with the bill. I don't need to continue living anyway."

"Taeyeon ah..."

"I'm fine. If it's nothing, I'm going back." 

I walked back to the dorm.

When I got back, I saw Tiffany talking on the phone with a huge smile on her face.

I didn't need to know who it was.

The answer would just hurt me.

I went to my room and went on Facebook again.

"Can't you be by my side so you can endlessly laugh and endlessly cry with me? Because even though it hurts so much, I would love only you."

That's how I feel about you, Fany.

She then came into my room.

"So, how was your date?" I asked her.

"Great! Wooyoung asked me out as in date."

"Oh... that's great... I guess."

I love you, Fany. 

I want to say that so badly.

But I can't.

"I know, Taetae! I'm so happy!"

I smiled a little.

"I think... I want to sleep now. I'm tired."

She went out.

I lay on my bed thinking of things that happened today.

I closed my eyes.

After a while, I felt a pair of lips on my forehead.

"Goodnight, Taetae."

Just these small things make my heart flutter.

But I can't continue this.

She's with Wooyoung.

I don't want to experience the pain.

I called my dad after she went out.

"Appa, could I go for the operation?"

"You should. But unfortunately, the closest one is in America. And I know school is--"

"Okay. I'm going. When is the earliest flight?"

"Tomorrow in the morning. I'll ask Jiwoong to go with you."

"Okay, thanks dad."

"Nothing I can't do for my little daughter."

I smiled, "Okay."

The next day, I quickly moved out of the dorm, but not without paying Wooyoung a visit.

"Taeyeon, what brings you here?"

"I know why you're dating Fany, Woo. To spite me right?"

"Bingo. Right on spot like always."

"Don't. If you still have that crush on me, don't hurt her."

"Taeyeon ah, I heard from her that you've been fainting recently. What's wrong? And why do you say it was if you won't see us again?"

"I might not. You must have realized that I'm different."

He nodded.

"I have the turcot syndrome. Don't tell Fany. Just... love her with all your heart. Don't hurt her. Please."

"Okay. Sorry."

"It's okay. By the way, I always loved you. Just as a brother. You remind me of my brother in some ways."

"Thanks."

"Why so happy, Woo?"

"I look up to your brother. He's like my role model."

"Wow. You guys are really alike."

"Why?"

"He thinks of himself as his own role model."

Wooyoung laughed, "So remember, don't hurt her."

He nodded.

So I left and went to America.

________

Author's Note:

Part 2?

If you want it, guess where I got Taengoo's second facebook status from.

LOL, but I think it's so fail that no one wants a part 2.