Kim stayed awake as she felt Gerald’s chest slow and steady itself. She knew he was asleep. Kim turned so she was facing him. Because of the couch’s size, she was chest to chest with him, their bodies touching, and faces only a couple of inches apart. Kim pulled the wool blanket over her shoulders, and laid a hand on his chest.

This wasn’t her first time touching him this way, wasn’t her first time sleeping with him, wasn’t her first time feeling this way about him. She could feel his heart beating against his chest. And it didn’t take long for her to realize this is where she wanted to be. Right here in this moment, in his arms.

She laid her head on his shoulder, and allowed herself to drift off. It’s been a really long time since she fell sleep all on her own without the pain staking memory overwhelming her.

The morning came too soon, with the biting cold waking her up. She snuggled into the couch, hoping she could get him to hold her a little tighter, but the place next to her was empty. Kim opened her eyes and had the sun sting her eyes. She looked up, and saw him hovering over her.

“Here, it’s the warmest thing I have.” He kissed the top of her head and walked over to the kitchen where she smelled toast.

Kim reached for her delicates and then pulled on the sweater over her head. It came down to the middle of her thighs, and was a lot bigger than she was. She walked barefoot to the kitchen where he stood by the stove with a pair of sweats on. “Smells great,” she reached for the toast set on the plate in front of her.

“Omelettes are coming right up,” he smiled. “How’d you sleep?”He turned his head and saw her staring back at him trying to hide a smile. “Look, last night was a big surprise to me too.”

“Oh really? Come on. You are the one who invited me over to your place. Did you really just have Chinese on your mind?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I do remember that I stopped you last night telling you we could’ve stopped. You were the one ripping through  my clothes.”

She laughed, “Anyways.”

He sat across from her and pushed her plate in front of her. “Bon appetie.”

“Should we talk about what happened?”

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.”

“Kim, I told you I loved you. I still do. And I’m still here. Last night, we both wanted it. That’s it. There’s nothing more to talk about. And we can keep doing that anytime.” The serious conversation turned light.

“Don’t hold your breath,” she laughed.

She got to work a little later than usual, and received a sceptical glance from Monica when she walked in.

“According to the caller ID when you called, I was supposed to be talking to Gerald Anderson. What happened last night?”

“Nothing. I slept over.”

“Did sleep actually happen?” Monica followed Kim like a puppy.

“My life is none of your business.”

Monica squealed. “Oh my god! I am hating that I have errands to run, but as soon as I get back I want the deets! Does this mean...?” She raised her eyebrows in satisfaction.

“Get out of here before I fire you,” Kim laughed.

But as soon as I walked out, more walked in. “Hey! I need flowers for tomorrow night and I thought who better to give them than you.” Maja and Shaina walked in chimed in.

“Well, hi to you to, and I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Kim rolled her eyes and took out a binder. “Look through those, the pages marked are the newer additions.” Kim returned from the back with herbal tea. “And how’s the mother-to-be?”

Shaina groaned unhappily. “Still throwing up. Thanks.”

“First trimesters are always hard.”

“Right, but I’m coming along to my second trimester in a a couple of days, shouldn’t this be over? I’m so tired of vomiting, there’s no point in eating if everything just keeps coming back up. But I have to eat. I crave everything! This baby has no idea what it wants.” There was a pause. “And with pregnancy comes heightened smell, what is that? Did you get new furniture or something?”

Panicking, Kim nodded. “Yeah, some new shelves and tables. Is that bad? I can open a window.” She did so, and stuck her head out, maybe that would air some of it off of her. Note to self: no more spending the night at Gerald’s.

Shaina followed her. “No, nothing’s new.” She sniffed Kim’s shirt. “It’s you. You smell like wood.”

“I’ve been...” Trying to think of something quick. “I took a walk in the forest. With trees. Freshly cut lumber.” That didn’t sound at all truthful.

“Kimmy, can I have this?” Maja asked staring at the tree. “This would go with the bohemian look of the party.

Her eyes widened, spotting the note still stuck on the branch. “No!” She yelled. “I mean, no. That was a gift from a potential client. I don’t sell trees, I sell flowers.”

“Well, do you accept men too, because there’s a note.” Kim spun around and saw Shaina reading it. “Or maybe just accepting Gerald.”

If she remembered correctly, Gerald didn’t leave his name. “What are you talking about?”

“I recognize his writing. He’s been drawing up plans for me for months now, I think I know it off by heart. Just like I know everyone else’s. Maja, doesn’t he do his s’s and r’s this way. No one else does it like that.”

“Whatever, who cares about writing. Kim, I need something more rustic, like more natural. My boss is going for outdoors, but the weather says it’s raining that weekend, so we need to have everything moved inside.”

Kim nodded, trying her hardest to stay on the topic of Maja’s party, rather than Shaina do anymore talking. “Give me a second. There’s something I’ve been working on.”

A moment later, holding a pot of baby breaths with tons of green leaves surrounding it. “It’s not finished, but I think some of these could work.”

“You had with Gerald!” Shaina blurted out.

Kim stared wide-eyed at Shaina. “What?”

“It’s all over your face!”

They squealed just as Monica did. The worst part about having so many close friends, you never had any secrets. They read the truth off of your face as if it was plainly written in block letters. Kim could try to deny it, but then it would appear as if she had something to hide. And that was definitely not the case. “Yes, it is true. I had last night. With Gerald. But it just happened. It wasn’t planned.” Or was it?

“Oh please!” They scoffed on point. “We all know Kim Chiu doesn’t just have . Not once in the entire world did it just happen to you.” They used air quotes to get the point across.

After surrounding and retelling the night before, three customers walked in and on their way they continued on their way. “So what happened this morning? Did you have the talk?”

“The post-, awkward spiel about what any of it means? No. We started; I brought it up, but I didn’t want to ruin what was already perfect, you know?”

“But it’s not perfect. Listen, Kim, we get it. You’re mourning someone’s loss, and you feel like you can’t be happy again, or you shouldn’t be. But he’s waiting for you. He’s been waiting for you. These months, you’ve pushed him away when all he wanted was to pull you closer. I’m not saying that everything can go back to the way things were, because they’ll never be the same. But you need to understand that this...complication between the two of you; it’s not just hard on you. It’s hard on him, and it’s hard on us.”

“Whatever last night was, it was more than what you’re both letting on. We’re best friends, Kimmy,” Shaina added. “You miss him, I see it on your face. Just as well as I see what happened last night. And just as plainly as I see how much you love him. The only thing that’s stopping it is you.”

As soon as Monica arrived back from her errands, she said she’d step out for an hour or so. She knocked on Gerald’s office door and opened it to see him behind a desk with his glasses on. She smiled.”Hey, can I come in?”

“Of course,” he removed his glasses and took a sip from his mug. “How are you?” He had a smug smile on his face.

“We need to talk.”

Her serious tone took him by surprise. “Uh oh, what’s wrong?” Gerald paused and disappointment was clear on his expression. “Is this the speech?”

“What speech?” She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“The ‘It’s-not-you-it’s-me’ speech? The one where I’m supposed to feel like it’s a clean break and you’ve let me down easily, only to feel like I’m drowning.”

Kim laughed at his dramatic spin. “It’s not that speech.” She went in front of his chair, and sat on the edge of his desk staring at him. “Do you remember when we first got together? We agreed to always be friends no matter what?” He nodded, resting his hands next to her waist. “Well, my girlfriends have made it clear to me that I haven’t been fair to you or them. And I wanted to say I’m sorry.

“I was watching you sleep last night. And I was staring at the way the moonlight just shone on your face. How I’ve seen you in that position so long ago, so many times. And those pictures of us you have all over your place...do you know how hard it is to reject anything I feel for you when all I can remember is the good times? We had a lot of them too, didn’t we?”

He raised his eyebrows in frustration, but let her continue and ramble.

“I love you, Ge. I always knew that; it never went away, and it feels like it’s not going anywhere. Last night was a testament of that. And for reasons I’m not even sure of myself...”

“You’re not ready for last night?”

“I’m not ready. But, the dating and the sleepovers, and the...?”

Gerald smiled wildly as she continued the list,  and pulled her down onto his lap, “The sleeping on couches?”

“And the sleeping on couches, that I’ve been ready for for a long time.” She had her hands around his neck and pressed her lips to his. “On one condition.”

A groan escaped his mouth. One step forward, two steps back, he thought.

“Not at your place. My employee and some of my not-so-subtle friends made it clear that your scent is very strong, and makes it very obvious and news-worthy that I’m sleeping with you.” She chuckled.

“To get what you’re saying without misunderstanding. We’re dating?”

“You were just too good to pass up,” Kim laughed.

He laughed and pulled her tighter into his arms. “You just made my day!” He nuzzled her neck, and she squirmed giggling.

“Mr. Anderson, you have a conference call scheduled with Mr. Braverman. He’s calling about the building on Matheson.” His intercom sounded.

“Okay, you’re busy, and I need to get back to work.” Kim got off his lap, kissed him one last time and walked towards the door.

“Can we start dating tonight?” He followed her and trapped her against the door, placing both hands on either side of her and gazing at her.

Kim laughed, blushing. “My place? I get off work at 6.”

“Eh. How about make it 6:30?”

She pushed his hands down. “Well,” her seductive voice against his ear. “I was planning on welcoming you back properly.” Her eyebrows raised. “I’ll give you until 6:15, or I’ll start without you.” She tapped his chest before walking away. It felt good to flirt with someone again. Even better with Gerald.

Maybe it was one step forward, two steps back, fours steps up again.