***Sorry for the spacing. I type everything on Word just for bookkeeping purposes, and the spacing always gets messed up when i copy and paste it on here. I'm just too laze to fix it. Hope it's not too distracting or annoying, Enjoy****

It was exactly three weeks when all the condolences, all the casseroles, all the details, all the viewings and the whole funeral was over. She was exhausted. It wasn't as bad as she anticipated it would be. Sure, saying goodbye was the hardest thing in the entire world that she had to deal with; but knowing that she wasn't going to be alone, that she had her entire family and friends around her helped a lot.

She was finally able to sleep at her place without someone keeping her company. It took three weeks for Kim to finally get back on her routine schedule. However, it would take longer than a month to smile and actually mean it.

After another day slaving around her work just to prolong the time she should go home, she threw her keys down on the side table, the light and locked her door. Her house was a mess, she thought. Kim wasn't able to clean up for weeks, not being home and all, and this was atrocious for her ways.

Kim quickly changed her clothes into comfortable sweats and tied her hair up. She worked so hard to begin moving on, that she really needed to. Keeping the house just as it was wouldn’t bring back anything.

Four hours later, the house spic and span, she finally was able to let a deep breath and felt another burden lift off her shoulders. Except for the bag of Christmas gifts she forgot to hand out. She shrugged. Now that her place was clean to a certain extent, with only one complaint made at 3:37 AM for vacuuming and making disruptive noises. She could sleep for six and a half hours, go to work and then look at least half-refreshed for a half-dinner at Erich’s place.

Kim walked into work just after 10AM holding an extra large coffee and wearing shades.

“Hey,” Monica smiled, sitting behind the register. “Bad night?”

She removed the shades and shrugged. “I was able to sleep for three of my six planned hours and ended up cleaning the rest of my place. If you come over, make sure you compliment me on the shine of the walls.”

“Insomnia? Maybe you should see a doctor. Get a prescription?”

“No. I don’t take pills. I don’t know, it’s like something’s in the back of my mind, but it won’t let me get to it.” Kim sat behind her planning desk in the corner of the large sales room. She rested her elbows on the desk and brought her forehead to hands. “This headache just keeps getting worse.”

“I don’t coffee’s going to help.” Monica made her way across the room. “But this might.”

“I said I don’t take pills.”

Monica rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about prescription meds. I was talking meds on a whole new scale.”

It was a notepad. “I’m not writing my feelings down.”

“Stop assuming things.” Kim read the words on it. “He keeps calling. Leaves notes by the door. Why won’t you just call him back.”

“You need to stop acting like you know everything.”

“Maybe that headache of yours is because you need to talk to him. You said it yourself you’ve started something in the hospital. Might as well end it.”

The evening came at a turtle’s pace. She turned off the lights in the shop, locked the door and got behind the wheel. End it. Monica’s words haunted her. End what? There was nothing to end.

Okay, yes, maybe she did kiss him in that hospital closet. And yes, she did tell him she missed him. And fine, she let him hold her and stay to her the entire night. So maybe there was a tiny little something.

It felt good to walk into a familiar place full of good memories. It crashed into her like a flood. She used her key to open the door. “Hey,” Kim walked in holding five large bags.

“Wow, the Princess returns,” Enchong kissed her cheek and grabbed three bags from her hand. “Spent the day shopping?”

One of the munchkins ran to Kim, and she picked her up high spreading loud kisses on her cheek. “I think Santa left some of your gifts at my house.” Kim set her down and sighed. “Sorry I haven’t been here in awhile.”

Maja walked to Kim and wrapped her arms around her. “We missed you. It wasn’t the same.”

“Yeah, Ejay’s attempt at romanticizing everything wasn’t working. And Shai’s optimism wasn’t exactly happy.” Rayver said, kissing Kim on the cheek.

“Right, well you did this to me,” Shaina replied bitterly. “You just had to knock me up and me into the hormone black hole.” She kissed Kim on the cheek. “I’ve been crying every night for the past week. You’d think my husband would come and comfort me. But no, he moves into the guest bedroom.”

Kim laughed. “Oh sweetie,” she sighed. “Don’t worry, six more months and then you’re going to have the most precious little gift life could give you. And then dump the kid off on Rayver and guilt trip him over the nine months of pregnancy and delivering his child.”

“And we are back,” Erich said. “That’s the optimism we missed.”

Kim walked to the kitchen and Gerald stood by the fridge holding his beer. His tie was undone loosely around his neck, his button down one, and stubble around his chin. She needed to look away.

“Hey,” he said. “We almost thought you were never coming back.”

Kim took out a beer and popped the top. “Just adjusting. How’s work?” Good, she thought. A neutral topic that could last hours. She knew Gerald loved his work and it was a topic of conversation she always started to figure him out.

“I called.”

Apparently not tonight. “Yeah, I know. If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t called anyone back.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Dinner’s on the table.” Erich interrupted timely.

Gerald exited the kitchen first leaving the women behind.

“If you didn’t notice, he’s a little bit angry,” Erich whispered, holding the salad bowl.

Dinner was awkward. The table was mostly silent, except for mindless chatter of everyone’s day. This used to be Kim’s favourite day of the week, but it seemed that everywhere she went life was out of everyone. Moving on was definitely going to be harder than she anticipated.

After an hour or so, the rest of the gang made their way to the living to open the rest of presents underneath the undecorated Christmas Tree.

Kim watched in the background holding a steaming cup of coffee. She watched as Christmas arrived twice for some of them, and not for others. She also watched as Gerald made him from the living room to the balcony and one more gift underneath the tree. She picked it up, and rewrapped her scarf around her neck.

She could see his breath escape his lips in a white cloud, and felt horribly for what happened between the two of them. “Looks like everyone got their gift but you,” she said approaching him and meeting him by the fire.

“It’s okay, I don’t need a gift.” He replied.

“Then humour me.” She insisted, pushing the wrapped present in his hands.

Gerald tore at the paper and was shocked at what it was.

“It took me months to figure what to get you. I had to pay Enchong off for him to find it.” Kim smiled.

It was Gerald’s first draft of his first drawing of a building that got him interested in contracting in the first place. “Kim, this is...unbelievable.”

“You never got a chance to start it. And now, you do,” she chuckled. “It’s supposed to be a reminder of why you started drawing, why you started contracting, and knowing that no matter what it is in life, there’s always a foundation to be built on. It’s just your choice whether or not to take it.”

“I guess you’re not exactly famous for taking your own advice.” He looked at her accusingly.  

“I’ve tried calling,” Kim admitted. “Picked up the phone a thousand times, getting halfway through your number and then hanging up.” Gerald finally made eye contact with her for the first time tonight. “I just didn’t know what to say. Because I can say explains everything.”

He chuckled and brought the bottle to his lips for another swig. “Really? Because not calling pretty much explains a lot.” He turned around as if he tried to walk away.

“Gerald. I don’t know what to say. You know, I can say I didn’t mean anything that happened and have you hate me; or I could tell you that I meant everything and have you hate me because I can’t do anything about it. I just...” She her chapped lips. “I just didn’t want you to hate me. But from tonight I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“I could never hate you. I just don’t understand what’s been going on.”

“I know.” Kim took a seat on the cold, wet plastic over the lawn chairs. “I’ve been leading you on. I kissed you, told you I missed you, stood by you, let you hold me only to freeze again and take three steps back. I know. So much has happened in the couple of months, and a lot of it’s taken me by surprise. I lost my boyfriend, my dad, a huge chunk of my heart in such a short period of time that it’s changed me.”

He took a seat beside her and set his bottle down. “Kim, I’m here. I’ve been here. Okay, I stayed by your family’s side – by your side through everything. I kept my promise that I wasn’t going anywhere. And finally when I think we made a breakthrough, some improvement, and progress, only to be hit with a detour. You haven’t called me back.”

“My dad told me. He told me what you said to him. What you asked him. It only made me love you even more.”

“Then what’s wrong?"

“Timing, Gerald. Timing is what’s wrong. Okay, every time I smile, it feels like I’m doing something wrong. Every time I do something new, I feel like I shouldn’t be doing it at all. Okay, every night before I go to bed, I replay everything I did and it feels like it’s wrong. Okay, I smile at work and it feels misplaced. I read your note, or Monica tells me you called, or anyone called, and when I want to call you back, I feel like I’m betraying my dad because he’s not here to be happy with me. And I know this doesn’t make sense. But I’m not adjusting well. I’ve been barely sleeping and I’ve been barely holding it together and when I feel like I’m making progress, I’m pushed off that stone and I feel like I’m drowning. Only I can’t cry because it’s been three weeks. And my mom is better and my sisters are better, Brian is laughing again, and I think to myself why can’t I just be them? Why can’t I move on with my life?” She paused to take a breath. “And then there’s you. And I’m hurting you.”

Gerald put his arm around her and pulled her against him. “I’m a big guy. You don’t have to worry about me. I just...want to know where are we?”

“As confused as I am, I know I’m not ready to start anything yet. I can’t be in a relationship. And I can’t ask you to wait for me. I’m not going to be selfish and do that to you.”

His finger pulled her gaze up to find his. He leaned in and pressed his cold lips to hers just once. Sparks ignited, and he knew this was it for him. There would be no one else, there would be no other choice for him. “Do you love me?” He asked softly. Kim nodded. “Then know that when you’re ready, I’ll be here waiting for you. Because I love you too.” He kissed her forehead, and pulled her back into his arms.

Kim buried her face in the crook of his neck, taking him in. Maybe Christmas did appear twice for all of them.

SO I KNOW MOST OF YOU HATE GERALD ANDERSON RIGHT NOW. BUT I HOPE YOU DON’T HATE MY STORIES. I AM STILL A LOYAL FAN OF THEIRS NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS – WHETHER OR NOT THEY BREAK UP OR STAY TOGETHER. I’VE WATCHED THE INTERVIEWS, INDIVIDUALLY AND TOGETHER, AND I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY. A LOT OF THE FANS OUT THERE ARE BLAMING GERALD OR TAKING THEIR SUPPORT AWAY FROM GERALD, BUT THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT. YOU KNOW, SURE, SOME OF THEM HAVE THEIR OWN INSIDE SCOOP INTO WHAT’S GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES, BUT’S THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE EITHER OF THEM. THOUGH I AM A HUGE ROMANTIC, ROMANCES COME AND ROMANCES GO; BUT WHAT’S IMPORTANT IS THAT IT HAPPENED. NO MATTER WHAT THEY WERE TO EACH OTHER, BOYFRIENDS, GIRLFRIENDS, MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING, SPECIAL FRIENDS, THEY WERE THERE FOR EACH OTHER. THEY SUPPORTED EACH OTHER, THEY HELPED EACH OTHER, AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER IN THEIR OWN SPECIAL WAY. I’M SAYING THIS BECAUSE IT GETS ME REALLY UPSET TO SEE SOME OF THEIR MOST LOYAL FANS BREAK APART BECAUSE OF A DECISION MADE THAT THEY HAD NO CONTROL OVER. AS SEEN ON THE INTERVIEWS, KIM IS HAPPY. AND THOSE WHO STILL SUPPORT KIM [ALONE OR WITH A LOVE PARTNER], WE NEED TO TRUST IN HER JUDGMENT AND NOT ASSUME SHE IS BROKEN OR FRAGILE. WE CANNOT BLAME GERALD FOR THE “MISTAKES” HE MADE BECAUSE THEY WERE HIS TO MAKE, AND NOT OURS TO JUDGE.

I THINK WE’VE GROWN SO USED TO SEEING THEM IN SUCH A PUBLIC WAY THAT WE THINK WE ARE PART OF THEIR LIFE. YES, FANS ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM, WE’VE HEARD THEM SAY THAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BUT THAT’S WHAT WE ARE. WE ARE FANS, NOT FRIENDS, NOT FAMILY. WE HAVE NO INFLUENCE TO THEIR ACTIONS, WE CAN ONLY SUPPORT THEM. AND WHEN I SAY SUPPORT, I DO NOT MEAN BRING THE OTHER PARTY DOWN. I DON’T MEAN SUPPORT ONE AND NOT THE OTHER. AND I DON’T MEAN ONLY FAVOUR THEM BECAUSE WE’VE GROWN SO USED TO SEEING THEM TOGETHER. WE SUPPORT THEM IN TRUSTING THEIR JUDGEMENTS; WE SUPPORT THEM BY WANTING THEM TO BE HAPPY. WE SUPPORT THEM BY UNDERSTANDING AND ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS CAPABLE OF MAKING THEIR OWN DECISIONS. THAT BEING SAID, I COMPLETELY, 100% SUPPORT KIMERALD TOGETHER AND KIM CHIU AND GERALD ANDERSON SEPARATELY BECAUSE ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY.

NOW AS AN AUTHOR, I’D JUST LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUOUS SUPPORT DURING MY LONG HIATUS. I AM NOT BLOWING THIS STORY OFF, I’VE JUST BEEN STRUGGLING TO BALANCE MY LIFE – FAMILY, FRIENDS, SCHOOL, WORK AND WRITING. BEING INTERESTED IN BECOMING A DOCTOR HAS BEEN A HUGE BURDEN, ESPECIALLY WITH ME DROWNING IN SCHOOL WORK AND EXPECTATIONS, BUT I AM FINIDNG TWO OR THREE HOURS HERE AND THERE TO SQUEEZE IN WRITING;IT JUST HASN’T BEEN COMING ON A REGULAR BASIS. I TRULY DO HOPE TO FINISH THIS STORY BEFORE HALLOWEEN, BUT WITH MIDTERMS ALREADY APPROACHING, SCHOOL WORK NEEDS TO BE MY FIRST PRIORITY, BUT I AM NOT FINISHED WRITING YET. AS I’VE SAID MANY MANY TIMES IN THE PAST, I JUST NEED YOUR PATIENCE, YOUR LOYALTY AND YOUR INTEREST PEAKED. AND JUST A LITTLE SNEAK PEAK IN THE FUTURE, THIS IS A ROMANTIC STORY, SO THERE NEEDS TO BE A MAKEUP AND SOMETHING ELSE LEAVING THE READERS WANTING MORE   ;) STAY TUNED :D  AND GOD BLESS!