It's been three weeks since Kim seen her friends. They've been very supportive, sending her casseroles and other things because they knew Kim had no time. So on her day off, she went over to Maja's place for girls' night.

The moment she walked in, she collapsed onto the couch, putting her feet up.

Erich appriached her with herbal tea, and placed Kim's legs on her lap. "How is he today?"

"He's been sleeping a lot lately." Kim answered. "It just feels like I'm waiting for the end."

"Don't talk like that, sweetie."

Maja arrived with the beer. "On a better note: how's Gerald?" All the women surrounded them, glaring at Maja. "Or not. Come on, you know you're all thinking the same thing."

"I'm not sure. There's a phone right there, why not call him?" Kim said, toeing off her shoes, and dumping them on the floor.

"Okay, obviously you're in a bad mood."

Kim sat up. "Yeah, I am in a bad mood. I've been working non-stop for the past week, been going to the hospital watching my own father deteriorate. I lost my boyfriend in the process, and I haven't been getting enough sleep because I keep thinking that the moment I wake up, my father won't be there anymore." She stood and walked to the kitchen to open a beer. "Oh, and when I finally decide to have a night off of my crapped up life and just spend some stree-free time with my friends, you come in here and start bagging on me."

Shaina passed the room and began Kim's back. "Let's go into the bedroom and talk."

Don't get her wrong, she loved all of them, but when the going got tough, having a large group to deal with was harder than life itself.

Shaina didn't close the door all the way, but the moment they were alone, Kim started crying again. "I'm sorry. I should go apologize to Maj."

"No, she knows you're just ranting. She doesn't hold anything against you.  Come here."

They stayed that way for two minutes tops. Kim dried her eyes and took deep breaths. "Its soon, the doctors say. He's sleeping twelve hours a day, only waking up to use the bathroom. When he is awake, he doesn't have the energy to do anything, and he's starting to lose his appetite."

"This is the hardest part - watching. But just know, that it's just as hard for him for making you watch him lose everything." Shaina whispered, pulling Kim down onto her lap. "Your father had a good life. He has an amazing family and was always the better dad in our circle. We all wished that Tito Will was our dad."

Kim got back up and took deep breaths. "Whenever I have a moment to think, all I can think about is all the things he's going to miss. He's never going to make it Brian's communion or graduation. He won't meet his future girlfriends," she laughed, "high-five when he finally lands a girl. He won't be there when Ate Lakam's baby comes. No more baptisms, no more Christmases or Easters." She took the edge of the comforter and played with its ruffles. "He's never going to walk..." her voice cracked, but saying this wouldn't make it any easier. "He's never going to walk me down the aisle."

"Kimmy."

"It's stupid." The water works started again. "My father's dying, and what I'm worried about is that he'll never see me get married." She tried to chuckle, throwing her hands up in the air over-exaggerating.

"Gerald."

Kim scoffed. "I thought this was it." Shaina stuffed a kleenex into her hand. "I've been in love before, but this was the kind where your heart ached when you weren't with him. It still does. He comes by every night to my parent's house just to keep Bri company. He'll come with us to the hospital and he'll make small talk with my Dad. And it's like at the end of the night when it's just the two of us, and we have this moment where it's like nothing's changed...all I want him to is to hold me. I just want him to hold me, and then I remember what he did, and I feel angry again and I shut him out."

Shaina took a glance at the door and saw Gerald standing there. He had his head down when she looked at him.

Shaina took this opportunity and grabbed hold of Kim's hand. "Kim, you know we love you and support you al the way, right?" Kim nodded. "And when you hate someone, we all hate someone. But I can see that he loves you. We probably already knew before he knew! I just don't want to see you lose something that we know has made you feel more alive than ever. Don't let go of something that great, okay?" She made a last glance to the door and winked at Gerald who stepped back. "And we need to get back or else we're going to see Maja hanging herself off her own balcony." That got a smile out of Kim. "You know, once Kim gets pissed at you - the nicest, most hearted woman in the world - there's just nothing left to live for."

Kim linked arms with Shaina who led her back where the entire clan was crowding the living room. She smiled and waved and greeted everyone. Gerald was in the kitchen getting a drink and she just shot him a smile; nothing to get his wires crossed, especially after Shai's comment.

The night went on and on, she thought. Everything they spoke about was more mindless chatter than she would've thought a month ago. They were discussing plans for New Years.

"Do you think you can make it?" Kim's gaze was dazed outside watching the now fall. "Kim? Kim!"

She jumped at all the eyes staring at her. Kim cleared and tightened her grip around her wine glass. "Probably not," it was an honest answer. "I'll probably be spending it at the hospital if my dad's up for it. Speaking of which, I should probably say goodnight. If I leave now, I can make it before visiting hours are over."

Gerald stood, "If you're going to go, do you mind me coming with you? There's something I need to give your father. And you've been drinking."

"So have you," she pulled her coat on and stumbled on her heels. Something that wasn't good for her arguement.

He lifted his glass, "It's coke." As a friend, he declared, he grabbed her keys out of her hand and threw them to Rayver. "Drive it by her place tonight?" Rayver nodded. "Let's go."

She relaxed in the passenger seat, reclining the seat back and closed her eyes. "Do you mind?" Though, she realized she should've asked beforehand.

"How long did you sleep last night," he put the car in hear and reversed out of the driveway.

"Not more than a couple of hours. I have things on my mind." Her response had a bit of a sting to it.

"I don't think your father would want you to be losing sleep over him."

"I can sleep when I'm dead." Instantaneously, her eyes watered and the sobs escaped her lips. "I'm sorry. I can't believe I just said that. I'm such an idiot!" He reached for her hand which rested on her crossed legs, but she pulled away once physical touch commenced. "Don't." Her hands hid her face. "I feel like this is all a dream, and I just want to wake up." It was silent, but she saw from his face that he wanted to say something. "You don't need to say anything. I'm used to silence nowadays."

They got to the hospital with a good twenty minutes before visiting hours ended. Her dad was asleep at first, but it didn't stop Kim from taking his hand and bringing it to her cheek. His face was paler and had more wrinkles than yesterday. It looked like exhaustion to the place of life. The heart monitors were steady, but the life lines were further apart than usual. The tell-tale signs of death were all there, it was just a matter of when.

Since entering the hospital, Kim brought some items from home to fix up his room. By the bed, there was a family photo and a portrait that Brian drew. There were fresh flowers everyday courtesy of Kim herself and a corner was dedicated to a cross and a rosary.

As she fixed the bed covers, her father woke up and groaned. She smiled at him, but her eyes illuminated with vulnerability. "Just checking in," she said.

"Today was supposed to be your day off, honey." William answered, readjusting his bed so he was upright.

"Dad, you don't need to do that, we need to leave soon anyways. Just wanted to make sure -"

"I'm still here?" He chuckled, stifled with a cough. "Since you're here and I'm up, I want to say something. To both of you."

Kim shook her head, "Dad, you need to rest."

"I know I don't have that much time left, so I need to get this out before...you know. Just listen to me. After the divorce, I never really spoke to you about it. We just kept acting like nothing ever happened because I was always over everyday, I just never lived with you anymore."

"Dad, it's been awhile since the divorce, you don't need to explain anything."

"I do. Because I hurt my family. Listen your sisters all found their husbands."

"Dad!" She turned feeling uncomfortable. This was another one of his marriage lectures. It was bad enough to have it now, but with Gerald in the room, too?

"Just let me get it out. Love is complicated, and the deeper you fall, it gets more and more tangled up. There's ups and there's downs. There are fights and there are make-ups." He glared at Gerald for an instance and he looked away embarassed. "But most of all, there's that story. It's the story of how you met. Of how you've come to be. And there's the story of how you've overcome life itself. And when it's staring at you right in the face, you're a fool to let it go. There's nothing worse than watching it slip between your fingers knowing there was something you could do to save it, but you were too proud or stupid enough to let anger get in the way." He took Kim's hand, but all the while staring at Gerald. "What I'm trying to say is that love isn't supposed to easy. It's supposed to be hard. You're not supposed to be happy all the time. And when you aren't, you can't just give up. People make mistakes, and you need to know they're worthy of forgiveness because that's love. You know you're in love when all you want to do is crawl into a dark cave and just die in there, and the person that loves you is already waiting there so you could die together. You know it's love when life hits you hard, and when you feel like you're in a free fall, its that pair of arms that catches you and brings you back safely." He coughed twice and kissed Kim's hands. "You know it's love only when life is hard and you know you're not alone." He pulled Kim closer so his lips were at her ear. "You're not alone," he whispered. "And now you need to get out of here because I'm tired."

William pressed a button so his bed reclined back and he shut his eyes to go back to sleep. Kim exited the room first. Gerald turned off the lights, only to see William turn to face him and wink in his direction. Gerald smiled, thankful that he had his approval.