"No, I'm not"

Namsoon replied shakily, seeing that he was clearly pushing himself to say those words. Not only that, he also struggles to keep on looking at Heungsoo in the eye and refused to look away, thinking it would be seen as a cowardly act. The older boy couldn't help but soften his gaze at the younger ones. Heungsoo knew the boy didn't like showing his weakness towards others and admitting on something he fears was pretty much a huge blow to his pride. So Heungsoo didn't say anything and just ruffles up Namsoon's hair like he used to do back in the old days. Everytime he does that, Namsoon would understand by heart that Heungsoo had wanted to say,

'You did well'.

Heungsoo saw Namsoon smiled as he messed up the boy's hair. He was glad he could still get something passed on through Namsoon even though they've been apart for so long. Three years ago, they wouldn't even think that their relationship would ever needed any of 'the process of making up'. The fact that they had to do it now made they realised how awkward and uncomfortable the situation was. Moreover, the main problem is that their pride would always be the reason why things grew more difficult than it needs to be. 

But it was good that they had once been very close to each other, that indestructible bond has always been the reason why the two of them are still able to connect no matter how bad the situation is. 

"Eat up, your ramen is getting cold" Heungsoo said.

"What about you?"

"I'm not hungry"

"Oh good, I wasn't planning on letting you share mine"

"Yah saekki-ya! I made that you know?"

"I know, but it is still mine, saekki-ya"

"You- aish, whatever." Heungsoo huffed out an annoyed sigh and looked at the clock on the wall.

"Looks like we'll be going to school early for the very first time" Heungsoo noted, and Namsoon gave a small nod.

"Heungsoo-ya?"

"What?"

"I knew you were worried about me"

"Shut up, idiot"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

As expected they arrived much more earlier than they would've wanted too. There were still a lot of students wandering around the school compounds. And as the two of them walks together, the students there seem to naturally make a way for them, some were still whispering about them. But both of them didn't really give a damn. Namsoon always walk behind him, as if he was trying to follow his footsteps. Or maybe it was just Namsoon's own weird way of keeping an eye on him.

He ought to change that. Heungsoon stops and turn to face Namsoon.

"Stop following me and walk faster, would you?

Namsoon blinks dumbly at Heungsoo.

"You want me to walk beside you?"

"I mean you can walk beside me"

A pause.

"I can't"

Namsoon says staring down at the ground, Heungsoo makes an annoyed face.

"Do you prefer following behind me like some loyal dog then?"

"No.. it's not like that"

"Then what?"

"If I do that, I feel like I'm going to lose you"

Namsoon lifted his head up, looking straight into Heungsoo's eyes.

"If I walk beside you, I can't protect you"

Heungsoo is rendered speechless. Namsoon had a serious look on his face when he said that and the taller boy was simply taken aback by his response.

"Go Namsoon!"

A voice resounded throughout the hall had broken off the spell.

Namsoon is pulled back suddenly, only to be head-locked by a certain girl from their class... Lee Kangjoo.

Heungsoo felt thankful for the girl saving him in that rigid situation, but at the same time he was displeased by her actions in getting awfully close to Namsoon. The younger boy struggles to free from her grip.

"Aish, let go!"

The girl eventually loosen her grip and let Namsoon catch his breath, she looked at Heungsoo.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Why do you ask?" Heungsoo replied coldly

"Because you are giving me that murderous glare of yours"

"I did not"

"Really?"

Kangjoo retaliates by wrapping her arm around Namsoon's neck and bring him closer. Namsoon grumbles out to her to let him go. Heungsoo witnessing the scene had make his eyebrow twitched in annoyance, death rays radiating from his eyes. 

"Really."

She shrugs and turns to Namsoon after releasing him, while Heungsoo restrains himself from wanting to punch a wall to let out his pure rage.

"Teacher Jung wants to see you about the trip so follow me"

"Why do you need to come?" Namsoon retorts the girl, Heungsoo silently agrees with the boy

"Ha Kyung is busy discussing something regarding her studies with Teacher Kang, so she asked me to fill in for her instead"

Heungsoon scoffs.

"You should start doing some studying yourself"

Kangjoo sticks out her tongue at Heungsoo.

"You're just jealous"

"There's nothing to be jealous of"

"Whatever. Let's go President Go!"

"Wait-" 

Namsoon is cut off as the short-haired girl drags him away by his arm against his will, but he manages to yell out to Heungsoo,

"See you during lunch break!"

Heungsoo was left by himself at the hall, looking at the Namsoon shakes himself off the girl and ruffles Kangjoo's hair messily, Namsoon was laughing.

The taller boy stared at the two of them playing around.

I am NOT jealous.

------------------------------------------------------

Park Heungsoo is pissed off. 

That Lee Kangjoo has been fueling his anger ever since the first time he met her. She has always been some what protective over Namsoon. He still remembered during that time where Namsoon had carried his bag for him and that girl saw it. She had grab his backpack and threw it hard at Heungsoo in anger. Kangjoo had scolded him as if he was the one that made Namsoon do all those 'slave' things. 'Who was she to Namsoon anyway?'

He needed a smoke.

Heungsoo heads off to the roof, not heading to the cafeteria at all. He is not ready to face Namsoon yet, he isn't himself right now. As he reached the roof, Heungsoo looks around to check if anyone was around. No one is here, good.

He sat down, leaning against the wall. He takes out a cigarette and lights it up with his lighter. Heungsoo inhales the poisonous cloud of smoke, holding it in for a moment before slowly releasing the smoke from his lungs.

There was another reason why he was pissed off and still is actually, was because of the incident he saw earlier.

*              *             *

It was now the music class. Namsoon and that short-haired girl were still busy with organising the trip. So Heungsoo was walking down the hall alone heading to the music room, he was still thinking about what Namsoon said to him earlier. He was kind of touched at Namsoon's words, Heungsoo smiled slightly to himself as he walked. 

At that very moment he had passed by the teacher's meeting room, that was when he saw Namsoon... together with Kangjoo. His heart clenched painfully as he froze, looking through the glass windows. The girl was trying to grab a book on top of the shelf, she struggles on her toes and manage to get a hold on  the book. Kangjoo smiled triumphantly. All of the sudden, she slipped and a few books fell from the shelf.

That was when he saw Namsoon shielded her from the books by hugging her and the heavy books had hit Namsoon's back rather painfully. He knew it hurt the younger one because Namsoon had winced. Afterwards the girl asked him urgently if he was okay. And being Namsoon of course, he indicated he was okay because "I have strong bones".

Heungsoo had stood there all along, he had seen the whole thing going on. He was so angry at the girl at being awfully stupid that had gotten Namsoon take the danger upon himself instead. Heungsoo was mindlessly filled with unknown rage at seeing Namsoon holding in his pain in front of others.

Although the older boy knew Namsoon has a mindset to help anyone before himself, would give anyone everything he can without a second thought. Namsoon had never once thinks about his own needs and didn't care much about what he feels nor what he is going through himself. Namsoon was basically thinking it was better if he got hurt, than others.

All Heungsoo could think of was, 'Is he really okay?'

*              *             *

That idiot bastard.

He lets off another puff of cigarette smoke. Heungsoo stares off into the blue sky, his mind has begun to find self-control again.

There's a sound of the door being opened, panicked. Heungsoo threw off his half-cigarette on to the ground and stomps it out before hiding it by stepping on it. He turned his head towards the person coming his way and found out that it was only Go Namsoon smirking at him.

"You weren't at the cafeteria" 

"Damn it, that was my last cigarette Saekki-ya!"

"You should quit you know, save your money for food"

"None of your business, it's my money"

Namsoon sighs and walks over to sit beside Heungsoo and offered him some hot buns with banana milk,

"Here, you should eat something"

"I'm not-"

"Just take it, saekki-ya. I even bought it especially for you"

"No one asked you to, idiot" 

Heungsoo takes the food nevertheless, and they ate silently. The wind blows peacefully, it wasn't bad spending the lunch break here. He glances at Namsoon, the boy had his eyes closed and unsure if he was taking a nap or not. Heungsoo was transfixed by the younger one's feature. He always, had been anyway. Heungsoo liked how peaceful his face was when he is relaxed. He couldn't stop admiring those long eyelashes, his well-defined jawline complemented his flawless skin. And those red-cherry lips...

Wait, just a second. What the hell did he just think? Park Heungsoo, you need to seriously get a hold of yourself. 

"Heungsoo-ya" Namsoon calls out, the taller boy snapped out of his trance.

"W-what?"

"I did, you know."

"Did what?"

Namsoon had opened his eyes, gazing softly at Heungsoo.

"I did miss you"

Heungsoo stayed silent.

"That time, I remembered when I'm tired of everything I would go to your house to eat then sleep. Or I would go and watch you play soccer until it gets dark... I didn't mind it, I like watching you play on the field. Being there for you when you scored the goals and stayed with you to cheer you up"

Heungsoo looked away and didn't say anything.

"Memories of you always stopping me from getting carried away and saving my everytime from crappy situations had played in my mind too. Man, I didn't realise I was that much of a troublesome punk"

Namsoon had turn his gaze to the sky, laughed as he said those words. Heungsoo lets a small smile sneaks past him.

"When I think about those moments, I felt loneliness grew inside me at the thought of you leaving me by myself, I didn't want to let you go. But when I really lost you... it ate away a big part of me, my life slowly became purposeless. I was nothing but an empty shell. I was alone."

Namsoon looks back at Heungsoo.

"That day when I found you again, I felt once more of being alive. I swore I will do anything to protect you, even if it meant I had to watch you from a far"

Heungsoo turned to stare at Namsoon.

"So, will you please let me stay with you? ...Would you let me follow you?"

Heungsoo is strucked speechless. He continues to stare at his long-time friend.

And sighed.

"If you are protecting me, who's going to cover your back?"

Namsoon blinks in confusion.

"Walk by my side where I can see you, Namsoon-ah"

The younger boy is in daze, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Did you know? I missed you too saekki-ya"

---------------------------------------------------------------

THIS STORY NEVER GOES AS PLANNED ARGH! I have no idea when are they're going to the trip, seriously =.= I worked really hard to get this in character, but I don't know about this one........ *cries* I hope you liked it, my beloved readers! Thank you for the lovely comments, it really had kept me going! :D 

And this fic is dedicated to my awesome partner-in-crime, JaejaeCassie ! Happy birthday bb~ love yah! ;D Eat up your fluffy-emo Heungsoon chappie <3