Things were still rocky between me and Jongin after I had walked out on him; even though we lived in the same apartment and everything, he wouldn’t say a word to me except if he had a question. Even then, it was stupid things like what was for dinner or if I had ever seen some movie.

There was no hand holding, no kissing, we wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed. It was torture. I knew I was the one to start it, but Jongin was taking it too far. He had made it crystal clear that until I told him what was happening, he wouldn’t speak to me.

Now was just a question of who would crack first.

And you can put your money on the table, because it won’t be me.

It was such an idiotic fight; we’d been through worse situations but shorter spans of time. Jongin scratched my car? I was pretty angry and mostly paid for the damage, but I still loved him. I accidently included red boxers in the white wash? His favorite v-neck was now pink, but he still loved me.

I won’t tell him I’m going to debut in fear that he’ll be mad?

No communication whatsoever.

I was sick of it.

Three days after that night, I went home early from my classes. I felt some form of sickness coming on, as I had gotten such a bad stomach ache that it was hard to stand correctly, and I was getting hotter by the minute. When my singing instructor had let us practice not reigned in as a group, I had brought my situation to him, he told me to go home.

So, here I was, curled up on the bed and groaning until my throat hurt.

On any other day when I was sick, Jongin would be right at my side, making sure I got everything I needed until I was better. Today, though, he was still at the SM building, probably wondering where his car went this early, and even if he were here, he probably wouldn’t care.

Without even realizing, I was the one to crack.

I let out a defeated sigh, pulling the covers over my aching body and trying to wash away the feeling of sickness with sleep. It wasn’t hard to succumb to my exhaustion, but I awoke not an hour later to the door being opened and closed rather quickly.

Blinking the fuzz from my eyes, I looked up, only to find Jongin hurrying into the room. “Are you okay, baby? Seongsangnim Cho told me he sent you home sick.”

I nodded feebly, my head hitting the pillow once more. “I just don’t feel good,” I replied hoarsely. “I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

Jongin sighed. “I wasn’t talking to you, but now I am. The fight is stupid. You shouldn’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I was just hurt because I thought you could tell me anything and I just… I don’t know. But I’m sorry,” he finished, looking defeated.

Without knowing, I kind of smiled. “I can tell you everything, Jongin; just not right away.”

“You will tell me, though, right?” he pushed playfully, nudging my arm.

I grinned. “Tonight.”

“Great. Do you need anything?” he asked, concerned, getting back on subject. Un-audibly, I patted the seat on the bed next to me, and he slid in, wrapping his arms around me and shutting his eyes.

You could say we both cracked and caved in.

But it was too close to call who went first.

~*~

A few days passed after we made up, and Jongin had completely forgotten to ask what was the deal with my group. It was like it had been wiped from his mind entirely. Of course, this was a relief, but the way I had been planning to tell him was kind of wasted.

It was still noted in my cell phone, though.

Back at SM, though, in dancing class, we were preparing some choreography to one of Super Junior’s old songs to show off to people who wanted to get out of class to see it. I didn’t think very many would be there, but three quarters of the trainees piled into the big room, lining themselves along the blue clouds and mirrors of the practice room.

Joonmyun wasn’t there.

But someone else, a bit closer to me, was.

As soon as I saw his form, clad in dark blue jeans, a red t-shirt, and a baseball cap, I panicked. This wasn’t how I wanted him to find out. This was an obvious clue that I was hiding something really, really big. I made sure not to make eye contact, and that he only saw my back. I wasn’t the only one in the room with this haircut.

Our “group” didn’t even have a name yet.

Why did we have to do this?

This was basically a nice way of saying to the others, “You’re not good enough, so watch the people that are.”

Suddenly, I didn’t want to do this anymore.

As soon as everyone had shown up, the instructor smiled at all of the quiet people, the only smile I had ever seen from him.  “Such a big turn out. Well, everyone, this is one of the possible future groups for SM Entertainment to pose as an idol group. We just want to see what you think.”

The instructor nodded to the quiet crowd before he started the music. He made us turn around to face the other trainees, boys and girls alike, but the biggest mistake I had ever made happened.

I made direct eye contact with Jongin immediately.

I didn’t get to see much of his reaction before we began dancing. All I noticed were furrowed eyebrows and hurt pupils before I was doing the hard, tough choreography we had been taught. I tried to keep my eyes downcast so I wouldn’t have to see the saddened look in his caramel brown eyes, but it didn’t work. His eyes drew me in.

By the end of the run, everyone was clapping except for Jongin, whose eyes were locked straight on mine. He wasn’t sad anymore. He was downright angry. The instructor began speaking. “Now, keep in mind, everyone, that this isn’t permanent, especially not this arrangement. We may gain some, we may lose some. Everyone still has a shot. As for you girls, I hear your shot should be in a couple years.”

Everyone who had been sitting began standing up to file out, but Jongin didn’t move, his feet planted on the ground and arms crossed as the other trainees passed him to leave. I turned to the instructor for a second, mumbling, “Excuse me,” as I made my way over to Jongin. I spoke first. “I was going to tell you, I swear.”

“When? How long did you plan on keeping the fact that you’re going to freaking debut, my dream that I dragged you into, before me from me?! I want to be happy for you; I really do. But somehow, I can’t.”

“Jongin, don’t be like this.”

“Shut up,” he snarled, causing my stomach to churn in knots. “I know we just got out of a fight, but this could’ve been so easily avoided had you just told me!” he shouted, attracting the attention of my other members. I could feel their eyes watching us.

“I thought you had forgotten!”

“That’s no excuse!” he cried out. The instructor broke in, telling Jongin to go. But I wasn’t finished. Annoyed, I grabbed Jongin’s wrist rather forcefully, dragging him out into the desolate hallway, where he finished. To my surprise, I saw tears welling up in his delicate eyes.

“Why are you crying?” I rasped.

“I don’t know; I think this is a form of jealousy or something.”

“You shouldn’t be jealous. In fact, I can walk right in there and tell them that I quit and that their new member is a nineteen year old dancing God, and I can make damn sure they believe me, too. This arrangement isn’t permanent, just like he said. Believe me when I say that you will debut, Kim Jongin. Whether it’s with them or in another group four years from now. You. Will.”

Before I could even process his expression, his lips were on mine, pulling me into his kiss. He pulled away with a blank expression on his face, but it looked kind of amused. “I’m sorry. For everything. I keep causing fights that are stupid and ruin the mood,” he chuckled to himself.

I kind of smiled. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

Then, he smirked. “You must really love me, huh?”

“More than anything else.”

Jongin smiled and pulled me into a warm hug, his cologne piling into my nose as I breathed in his scent. “Get to class, sunbae,” he whispered teasingly in my ear.

“You too, hoobae,” I shot back, making him laugh and bid goodbye. When I walked back in, I noticed it was completely quiet, and everyone’s eyes were on me.

Well, this would be fun to explain.

~*~

That night, Jongin was exercising in the living room with music pounding into his earbuds, only in basketball shorts, so that left me with myself for a while. The other side of the bed felt empty without Jongin in it, so I stretched out across the king sized mattress, one hand on my laptop’s track pad and the other holding my phone up to my ear.

“Hey, Soo!”

That deep voice felt so unfamiliar and weird; I hadn’t heard it in months.

“Hey, Yeol. How are you?”

“Pretty good, Bacon’s in the other room planning the music for the big day. What about you? How’s your idol business going? Good, I hope?” he suggested, and I could almost see the smile on his face.

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, but I might debut.”

Chanyeol’s tone sounded shocked. “Wow, really? You haven’t been at it very long!” He sounded disbelieving.

“It’s still just a social experiment, though. I’m not sure where it will go.”

“Congratulations, man. That’s big news,” he sighed. “How about you and Jongin? Still going alright?”

“The past week hasn’t been our best, but everything’s okay now. He’s working out in the living room. Did you read my last book yet?” I pressed with a laugh. Chanyeol had been too busy to read my horror story last I checked on him.

“Yeah. Baekhyun finished it a couple days before I did, and we both really liked it. It’s a shame you’re giving it up, but whatever, it’s not my business,” he teased. “So why did you call?”

“I don’t know, it’s just been a while.”

Just then, the door opened, revealing a sweat glistening Jongin, his stomach muscles tensed. My jaw unknowingly dropped at the sight, and I was so out of it that I didn’t even hear Chanyeol’s reply.

“Baby, can you time me to see how long I can hold a plank?”

I snapped back to reality, sighing to Chanyeol. “Sorry, buddy, but I have to go. I’ll call you later, though, alright?”

Chanyeol laughed. “Yeah, sure. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and stood up from my bed, following Jongin out to the living room. “Why can’t you time yourself?”

“I can; I just got lonely.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re impossible.” I pulled the timer up on my phone and started it.

~*~

Hey all! ^^ So I didn't make the track team. :( That doesn't really matter to me, though, because the real things that matter to me are still in tact. Plus, there was a meet on my birthday, so that would've dragon balls.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

Please comment~ Thank you!