SEUNGRI'S POV

I don’t even remember how many pills I’ve taken but who cares, I’m only trying to decrease the pain that lingers in me. I could hear Ji hyung and Seunghyun hyung socializing in the older’s room, at least he’s in great condition but I have finish what I’ve started which is breaking the truth between me and Bae hyung. He won’t believe me if I told him it was my pain which made me pounce on Ji hyung, I couldn’t resist seeing Bae hyung all solemn about him...I was only someone he could depend on with his feelings but nothing more than a good friend/band mate.

“That is going to kill you and if you are planning to kill yourself, do it someplace where it won’t make a big mess.” Daesung has been quite worried about the maknae, Bae sure has some guts to blame everything on the younger one...he should at least have some dignity.

“Very funny hyung. I feel so useless right now, I wish Bae would come out of his room and we all would be alright but because of me, everything is messed up.” Seungri sighed with stress, Bae is officially going to kill himself in his own prison. 

“Why do you wish for Bae to come out of his room when you can make him do that easily? Ever since Bae locked himself up, nobody went and checked if he’s okay except me. Also I am barely involved in this situation, odd isn’t it?” Daesung hyung did have a point but after all Bae hyung spat out at me, I really don’t have the courage to.

“Another thing that makes me upset is that Ji hyung and I were like together yesterday but today he’s with Seunghyun hyung. He didn’t even ask where I was and it makes me think that I was used for his confusion.” I held back tears since I almost went too far with Ji hyung yesterday, but did Ji hyung really love me? Did I really love Bae hyung? Why is life full of choices, I can’t even stick to one person.

“About that, I really don’t understand who you’re in love with but you have to be completely sure because you’re also twisting the situation up. It is hard to stick to one person when the other confessed to you as well, you look up to Ji hyung alot and at the same time you’re now somewhat the closest to Bae hyung. Both hyungs are special to you in their own ways but who really cares and makes you feel loved? Think about it.” Daesung hyung told me not to rush or I’ll hurt myself then left to do some cleaning around the apartment, so glad to have him in the band. 

YOUNGBAE'S POV

I just saw Daesung leave Seungri’s room, wondering what they discussed about but more importantly how will I bring myself to him after all the harsh comments I said in his face. I can’t just go and be like, “Oh maknae I’m sorry about yesterday so let’s like hang out.” That would sound like a half-assed apology. Maknae was a forgiver but despite all I’ve said...he probably took it to heart, I regret it all but I can’t just rewind my life you know? Not after all the advice I’ve received from Minji, might as well step forward and apologize in whatever words come to mind. I need to do something to keep both the maknae and Jiyong away from each other. So here goes. 

NOBODY'S POV

Seungri decided to get a snack, all this stress is making him starve but he’s too deep in thought to notice. As he crossed the hallway into the kitchen, he detected a shadow peeking out from Bae’s room, with a smile he knew Bae didn’t hate him but his anger got ahold of him. As the maknae poured himself some OJ, Youngbae slowly displayed himself in the younger’s view. Seungri knew the older one was behind him but gave himself a relieved smile before turning to face Bae. 

“Bae hyung....” Seungri turned around and it was all that came out of his mouth, he can’t just say hi so easily to a person that’s been holding a grudge against him due to betrayal. 

“Seungri, I was thinking a lot about the way I spoke to you so brutally. I never meant any of it, I had a feeling you would be suffering from all I’ve spoken. I hope I didn’t cause you to worry as much, I wish that we’d go back to how we were before. Best friends who cared for each other no matter what.” Bae thought all he has said was from the emotions he experienced when the maknae wasn’t around his presence. 

“You know how useless I become when it comes to you. You will always receive my forgiveness because I’m not someone who leads people on, I don’t have the power to not forgive people when they really deserve it. Although I suggest you move on from Jiyong, it will only cause you to harm yourself. H-He....how do I say this the nicest way possible...” Bae felt that what Seungri was trying to say will make him go insane.

 “Alright, I’m saying it the most positive way I can...Ji hyung doesn’t love you and I don’t think he ever will so you pretty much should give up because trying is useless.” One look at Seungri’s face, I could see that he really cared and wasn’t saying this on purpose. Seungri’s expression stayed humorless, showing me that I had to seriously move on without regrets and this had to be done any minute now. 

“You’re right maknae, we were only meant to be friends. He doesn’t see anything else in me, and I have no idea how I will make him fall for me other than kidnapping him or forcing my feelings upon him. It may seem cruel but I don’t like to wait for who I want but simply find any way possible for the person to like me sooner. I should just leave him to Seunghyun, first of all...will you find me someone else I can get into so that I can move on? It’d be very beneficial to me.” After all this time, Seungri saw a smile which he loved to see appear on Youngbae’s face. The maknae felt so useful since he gained back his friendship also made Bae move on.

“Alright, I am starting to reek. Might as well go for a cold shower, it will keep my mind off all this I’ve gone through. Gomawo maknae, you really made me feel so alive again...sometimes I actually thought I was the living dead but now I’m positive that I exist.” Youngbae waved to the younger as he slipped into the bathroom to drain all his stress. Meanwhile Seungri was still anxious from Jiyong’s act the other day, how could he act like nothing happened? The maknae couldn’t hand Jiyong over to Seunghyun just yet, when Jiyong’ has already adapted in the younger’s head and he was assured that Jiyong loved him all along and Seunghyun will just have to find someone else.

“When did I turn out like this? I was confirmed that Bae hyung was the only one who has caught my eye but it feels as if Jiyong hyung captured all of me... why did I have to go along with what he wanted me to? Why did I allow his affectionate behavior? Now he has me wanting him and I needed him right away, I need to confess to Bae fast before I’m not aware of what I’ll do next.” Seungri thought loudly to himself, he mentally stressed himself out all over again but then shut his eyes close...now all he can see is an image of Jiyong and Bae hovering in his mind and slowly Bae’s image dissolved as Jiyong’s was the only one he can see without any doubt. 

“Not true! I don’t love Ji hyung, things might have occurred but that’s the past! He just needed some company and I was too full of myself, I only love Bae hyung. I love Bae hyung, I love Bae hyung, I love Bae hyung.” The maknae repeated the 4 words in his mind crazily as if it’s a prayer, until satisfaction took over his body; he patiently waited for Bae to return so that he can spill his confession already. 

Maknae is thinking way too much, most of these events are from real life...what occured to me. I couldn't stick to one person either and the emotions were how I felt. Just puting it out there! Is Seungri confirmed that he is not in love with Jiyong or will he mess up again? We will see next time!