It was hot, so terribly hot; humid, damp and suffocating. He wanted so desperately to turn away from the heat but the strange hold of darkness kept him trapped, caught in a net. There was a whisper, a voice that was calling his name; with the seconds that slipped by it filtered further and further away. 

 

"Ji..." 

 

It sounded like Seunghyun. Just like Seunghyun, only wrapped in a thick fog and he could barely make out the words. His mind didn't belong to him and he couldn't feel his body. Nothing of it. 

 

"Jiyong!" 

 

And his eyes snapped open, drawing in a breath that was too painful. He blinked, eyes unaccustomed to the sharp light that was clouded with heavy specks of black. Every part of his body ached and there was a thick buzzing in his ears. Jiyong let out a sob he couldn't hear, his chest reverberating wearily.

 

"Jiyong, please..." The same voice again, only more frenzied and more panicked. "Baby..." The darkness returned, shrouding the light bit by bit. It ate into his vision and he wasn't sure if he was seeing anymore. Jiyong let his eyes drift shut again. "Jiyong!" And then again, he was quite relentless. Jiyong didn't know how to respond and the voice was broken, now pleading with him. 

 

Seunghyun leaned over as far as his body could allow him, tears and dirt clouding his sight. He wiped at it with the back of his hand, his sleeve; but it didn't seem to do much good. His eyes stung, hand gripping tight on the shoulder seam of Jiyong's jacket. "Baby, baby please..." He choked, resting his head heavily on worn leather. The figure he reached out to shuddered and was suddenly seized with a terrible gasping. Seunghyun lurched forwards, ignoring the pain to pull himself up until he could see the boy's face. He saw Jiyong's eyelids flutter at a rapid pace, frail form shaking. "Jiyong," he rasped, leaning his chin on the sit and cupping the boy's cheek to face him. "Ji!" He yelled. 

 

Jiyong's eyes flew open, wide and disorientated; hollow at first until his name spilled through cracked lips. "Se-unghyun..."

 

Relief shot through him and the tension seemed to lift, the pain returning twofold. He didn't retract his fingers from the cool of Jiyong's cheek, his skin weakly. "Baby..." He whispered and his tears dared to fall, "I'll come for you in awhile... Just give me, a second..." 

 

Jiyong's heart began to thunder in his chest, pounding hard against his rib cage. He surveyed his surroundings, only half registering Seunghyun's presence. He let out a whimper, turning to his side slowly. "No-ona?" Yu-Ni was lying, face turned away from him and she was pale... Too pale. Jiyong tried to reach for her, willing heavy limbs to move. His fingers finally found hers and he froze. She was cold. "Noona!" Jiyong screamed, suddenly twisting up, thrashing in his seat. "Noona!" 

 

Seunghyun snapped up at the scene, "Ji... Don't," he started. Jiyong screamed for him, voice growing more broken by the minute. 

 

"Hyun!" He cried, shaking violently, "Noona!" 

 

Seunghyun heard Jiyong's breath hitch painfully and there was a struggle of silence and then coughing. Jiyong called for Yu-Ni again and Seunghyun could feel his own chest constrict. "Jiyong... Please, please stop..." But the boy continued screaming, cries growing weaker. "Jiyong!" Seunghyun yelled, tumbling over the seat to grab his hand. Jiyong turned to look at him, eyes frightened, tears on his face. "Stop it... She's gone." 

 

A loud cry filled the car and Jiyong thrashed in his seat, fingers gripping Seunghyun's tightly. "No!" He wailed, "no, no, no... Noona..." 

 

Seunghyun shut his eyes, trying to blink his own tears away. He let rationale take over to keep his emotions at bay. He had to make it out of the backseat to where Jiyong was. He needed to know if he was hurt and how badly. "Ji," he cleared his throat, frowning at the bitter taste of blood from a cut lip. "I'm coming to get you." 

 

"Seunghyun!" Jiyong's voice dropped a notch, shaking as he spoke. "Noona, please... Please look at her..." When he got no response, he screamed again, "Seunghyun!"

 

"Jiyong!" He gripped the boy's chin, their eyes locking. "Stop it!" He rasped, "I'm begging you... Stop it, she's gone." Jiyong let out a groan of pain, tears rolling down his cheek, falling into the crease of dry lips. "Let it go, she's gone." Seunghyun paused for awhile, tilting his head to stop the tears from coming. He in a deep breath, the air in the car was getting increasingly damp. "Listen Ji, I'm gonna come get you okay?" The boy made a small noise when he spoke and Seunghyun took it as a response. "Stay right there, I'm gonna get us out of here." 

 

The taller man let his body weight sink back into the seat, recoiling his contact from Jiyong. He elbowed the door, pulling the handle the same time. He repeated the action, twice and then again before the door let up and opened to a slight. Leaning his shoulder against the door, he pushed it open, nearly collapsing onto the ground outside. The collision was bad, the insides of the car were dented, doors hammered in by the hit they had taken, glass shattered and hanging by frighteningly thin cobweb patterns. The sight that greeted him sent a shiver down his spine. Seunghyun swallowed thickly, the knobs in his knees almost giving way. They were at the edge of a cliff, the front of the car crushed, teethering only between a tree that stood at the corner. The front wheels were off, the one on Jiyong's side held still by a little rock. He cupped a hand over his mouth, bile rising to his throat, one wrong move and he could lose Jiyong as well. 

 

"Hyun..." A small voice broke through his reverie. Seunghyun could see Jiyong, pale faced and leaning to the side. His chest was rising and falling in a ragged rhythm, pain written in his knotted brows. 

 

Seunghyun fiddled with the door handle, trying to open it, mumbling a string of soft curses and jumbled prayers. He let out a breath when he heard a staggering click and quickly wiped the sweat off his palms to pull open the door. Jiyong winced, eyes shutting tight at the shift in his balance. 

 

"Ji..." He crouched on his knees, the callouses of his fingers meeting Jiyong's skin. The boy leaned into his touch, cool cheek cupped in his palm. "Baby..." He trailed off, words dying in his throat when his eyes fell on Jiyong. Grime dusted a pale neck and a thick trail of blood ran from his lover's side to his chest. Seunghyun's hand shook as he leaned over Jiyong, trying desperately to find the source of bleeding. 

 

"Hyun... what's wrong?" The strain in Jiyong's voice raised alarms in his head, sending a headche throbbing wildly against his temples. 

 

Not wanting to worry the boy, he kept his expression calm. "It's nothing love. Just stay still okay?" He pressed his forehead to the boy's, not liking the slick of cold sweat that he was met with. "I'm just going to... I'm going to get you out." 

 

Jiyong was watching Seunghyun through a growing shroud in his vision. Eyes shutting faster than he wished them to. He hurriedly forced them open again, concentrating on the outline of Seunghyun's crouching form. "I'm sleepy..." He complained softly, pale lips twitching. 

 

Seunghyun immediately cupped Jiyong's face in his hands. "No, no, no... don't sleep baby," he forced a smile, brushing his thumb at the dip of his boyfriend's lids. "Stay awake with me okay? Talk to me." Jiyong's pale blue polyester jacket had been soaked through, blood dyeing it a dirty shade. He steadied his hands as he peeled apart the fabric carefully. A burn surfaced at the back of his eyes and he let out a gasp. Blood was still pooling through the boy's shirt and Seunghyun was just able to make out the three, no, four jagged pieces of metal peeking out through Jiyong's side, sliced through skin and flesh. He muttered a string of curses, hands trying to find a spot to stem the bleeding. He watched in horror as the patch of deep red spread, seeping through the spaces of his hand. 

 

Jiyong winced at the touch, a moan escaping his lips. "Hurts..." 

 

"I know, I know..." He glanced up at the boy, "you'll be okay... It's okay..." He rambled, stripping his cardigan and pressing it to Jiyong's side. 

 

"Hyun... It hurts..." He opened his eyes to meet Seunghyun's, recognizing the worry was written on the older man's face. He lifted a hand to his side, eyes widening in shock when his palms came away bloody. "Seung..." he searched his boyfriend's face for something, anything to still surging panic. 

 

"Ji!" Seunghyun reached for him, bringing back his focus. "Don't look baby, don't look. It's okay, you're going to be okay..." 

 

Tears spilled out of frightened eyes and he tried to move, shifting his posture. A numbing pain swept through his body, making him cry out, trembling. Jiyong began to cough, his throat passage tightening. He hacked violently into his palm until his stomach lurched and he threw up.  Seunghyun's expression fell as Jiyong brought up blood, spilling from his fingers and staining his shirt. Jiyong held his palm towards him; confusion and fear on his face. "Hyun... I... what's going on?" 

 

The boy choked again, crying for him; blood mixing with his spit. "Ji," Seunghyun held him, brushing the tears away with his palm. "Look at me baby," he repeated, coaxing the boy to focus on him instead. Jiyong looked weaker than before, his face drained of all color. He took a clammy hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze. "I'm going to get you out, you're going to be okay." 

 

"I'm scared..." He whispered, his energy was exhausted and it felt hard to breathe. 

 

"You trust me right?" He looked to him for response, earning a fragile nod. "I'll get you out. I promise." Seunghyun's nostrils clouded with the metallic smell of iron as Jiyong's breath fluttered near his ear; rapid at times and then too painfully slow. The handsome man calculated his next step, mapping out his actions and assessing the consequences. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he could get Jiyong out without endangering him further. He moved carefully, slippery fingers fumbling at the catch. The belt buckle clicked loose and Seunghyun was quick to catch the strap, gently pulling it away from Jiyong. He gauged Jiyong wounds, fingers prodding gently whilst whispering hushed apologies to him. Seunghyun knelt back on his knees, "Baby," he said. "Baby, I'm going to have to pull you out by force. Pausing, he waited for the words to sink in to Jiyong and then for the fear to pass. The blonde gave him a slow nod, swallowing to moisten his parched throat. "Jiyong," Seunghyun's tone was firm when he spoke again, "It's going to hurt. Whatever happens I want you to try and stay awake. Is that clear?" Jiyong nodded again, fingers curling around Seunghyun's. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Seunghyun slipped his hand away, placing his palm between Jiyong's shoulders to push him forward. Jiyong stiffened, his breath coming out in choppy gasps. As gently as he could, Seunghyun peeled Jiyong away from the backrest. Jiyong let out a breathy cry and Seunghyun had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from trembling at the sight. 

The thin metal bars pulled out of Jiyong's skin by a couple of inches, taking blood and tissue in their wake. 

 

"Seunghyun..." Jiyong choked out, voice broken between sobbing and the struggle to breathe. "Hyunnie... I can't..."

 

"Bear with it love, I'm right here..." He trailed off, sweeping an arm across his forehead to wipe down the sweat. Jiyong's grip on his hand was slipping, his breathing growing shallow. Seunghyun shifted his position, "just a little more okay?" 

 

Jiyong shook his head wearily, coughing as her fought to take air into his lungs. "I can't..." He could barely register the warmth of Seunghyun's forehead pressed against his. Neither could he tell if the tears that clouded his vision belonged to him or Seunghyun. A chill seized his body, the cold going straight to his bones. Seunghyun's name spilled out of trembling lips with a fevered pleading. 'Please... please... please... no more.'

 

The blonde let out a staggering gasp, eyes rolling back to his lids. Seunghyun cupped his face, "Jiyong! Don't!" He yelled, voice cracking in desperation. "Look at me, please. Baby look at me. I can't loose you. I've lost noona, I can't loose you." Seunghyun straightened his back, pullinv Jiyong close. The position they were in mimicked that of a hug, and for the briefest second, Seunghyun could feel a warmth surge in his chest. He ignored the tears that were coming, sealing his determination. "I'm sorry baby, I have to do this." He wasn't ready to lose them both. He tightened the embrace and jerked forward. Jiyong screamed, eyes going wide as he twisted in pain. Seunghyun shut his eyes as he applied more force. The smell of blood was suffocating and it sickened him. He refused to look at Jiyong's face, knowing he would crumble under the contortion of pain on the features he loved so much. "Almost there love," he said to no one. Jiyong wasn't answering him, his words were incoherent, the desperation in his cries deafening. He gave the boy a firm tug and Jiyong went rigid, chest tightening and then sagging against him the next second. 

 

Seunghyun's legs were about to give way from sheer exhaustion as  Jiyong tumbled into his arms on the rocky floor. It took him all the strength he could muster to gather the boy in his arms, half dragging them both a safe distance away from the car. He laid Jiyong on the ground, peeling away his bloody shirt. Jiyong was unconscious, completely and utterly still; the color drained from his skin. Seunghyun bit into his cardigan sleeve, ripping the wrinkled material apart and lifting Jiyong by a slight so he could tie the fabric firmly over his wounds. "Come on, come on baby..." He whispered, stripping Jiyong's jacket, and pressing it on top of the boy's chest. "Come on... Please..." He wiped at his cheeks angrily, pressing two fingers to a clammy neck, praying for a pulse, a breath... Anything. He pinched Jiyong's nose, laying his lips over the boy's. "Godamnit! Jiyong!" He yelled, furiously pumping his fists on the thin chest. Blood pooled out, staining his hands a deep shade of red, The stress of the situation hit him harshly and the strength in his arms slipped. Seunghyun crumpled against his lover's still form. "Damnit... Don't leave me..." He mumbled, throwing weak punches to Jiyong's torso. He was near the edge of his sanity when he felt an arm twitch underneath him. Seunghyun sat bolt up, hands firm on Jiyong's shoulders. Jiyong let out a loud gasp, back arching off the ground as he drew in a shuddering breath. Brown eyes flew open and Seunghyun found himself in a sobbing mess, cradling the boy's cheek as tenderly as he could manage. 

"Hey," he whispered, relishing the sensation Jiyong's lashes tickling his palm; the soft but sure breath that passed through dry lips. All Jiyong could work up was a slight trembling at the side of his lips that Seunghyun knew was a smile. "It's alright, you're safe..." Smaller fingers brushed against his and Seunghyun returned the hold, planting a kiss to Jiyong's hand, allowing his tears to fall. "Welcome back baby..."

 

Seunghyun lay flat on his back beside Jiyong, completely worn out. He kept their hands linked, listening to the soft rising and falling of Jiyong's chest. He was rubbing a lazy trail on Jiyong's palm when his lover let out a string of coughs that brought him back to his senses. He rolled to his side, carefully wiping stray traces of blood from the side of Jiyong's lips, blotting the sweat from his face. "I'm sorry, I crashed for a little," his expression was soft and Jiyong reached out to touch his cheek, a moment Seunghyun allowed himself to sink into. "There's just something I need to do..." 

 

A flash of panic took the boy's face and he struggled to sit, "Hyun?" He croaked, wincing at the sharp pain that came from his movement. 

 

"Hush," Seunghyun coaxed him to lie down, "it's okay... I'll be back real quick."

 

"Seung... Seunghyun," he swallowed, unable to speak too fast; shutting his eyes tight to prevent tears. 

 

Seunghyun combed a hand through Jiyong's hair, calming an impending bout of shivers. "It's okay, I'll get us to a hospital, I won't let you..." He trailed off, "I just need to get Noona out." 

 

"Don't..." Jiyong begged, shaking his head weakly, "it's dangerous..." 

 

"I have to Ji... I can't leave her there." 

 

Jiyong shut his eyes at Seunghyun's words but he knew that the older man was right. They couldn't just leave Yu-Ni there, it just wasn't right. After everything she did for them, after how they had... Jiyong sobbed harder, draining his wrecked body of air. "It's all out fault. We killed her Hyun..." He choked out. 

 

Seunghyun rested his forehead on Jiyong's, letting their cheeks and tears meet. "Don't say that," he whispered, "she'd be mad if she heard it." Jiyong only cried harder, not caring about his slipping consciousness or steadily sapping strength. Seunghyun sat up and caressed his hand. "Wait here for me okay?" 

 

"I'm scared..." 

 

"It's okay, I'll bring noona," he shook his head. "I'll come back for you, so promise me you won't fall asleep." 

 

"Hyunnie..." 

 

Seunghyun stared at the ring on his finger, slipping the soiled silver band out and pressing it to Jiyong's palm. "I promise you, I'll come back real soon..." 

 

A quick kiss was planted to his temple and Jiyong watched the familiar figure tread back towards the car, loosing sight of him as he ducked behind the driver's door. And then it happened so fast, a loud snap and the creaking of the wheels as the car rolled forward. Jiyong uncoiled himself, forcing his body up, catching a last glimpse of the silver boot just before it disappeared at the edge. He screamed, the panic in his voice muted by the sound of a deafening crash. "Hyun!" Jiyong clambered to his feet, taking unsteady steps before he fell. He met with the ground hard, dirt flying to his lips. "Seunghyun!" The tears sprung into his eyes and there was a distinct stab of pain in his heart. He tried to crawl, drag himself near, but nothing allowed him to. Every part of him hurt, his limbs far too heavy. "Please..." He cried, hands torn from abrasions. Seunghyun's cardigan was no longer able to stem the bleeding in his side. "Seunghyun! Seunghyun..." Jiyong lifted his head slightly, his battered body unable to offer him more. His vision was going, darkness bleeding in from the corners of his eyes. "Please..." his voice died, remaining shreds of coherence leaving him. He felt himself choke, a gurgle forcing its way out of his throat, filling his mouth cavern with the distinct taste of iron. Jiyong managed a weak gasp, hot tears spilling down his cheeks, furthering obscuring his sight. Thin fingers scraped the ground in a final attempt to reach for Seunghyun, panicked breaths dying down to a laborious pattern of shaky inhales. The outline of the cliff was burned as a lasting imprint onto the back of his eyes. The light at the edges faded, filtering slowly from the softest hues of grey into a void of deep black. Jiyong felt his skin prick, an unknown fear eating away at him; swallowing him whole.

 

--------------------------------------------------

 

 

By the time Jiyong finished, he was a mess. Hair disheveled, hot tears on his cheeks, eyes rimmed with a deep red; swollen and puffy. The boy cried, unable to carry on with the story. His face buried in his hands. Jiyonv felt his wounds ache like they were still fresh. The void from reliving the moment was still raw, the pain real enough to send a sharp stabbing through his chest. "I'm so sorry," he repeated as he shook. He knew Seunghyun was drawing away even before the other man inched backwards, shuffling away from him. 

 

Seunghyun ran a hand through his hair, a lump forming in his throat. His eyes burned, but the tears would not come. He realized with finality that he had lost a sister that he did not know he had. He had no memory of her, of the times that Jiyong mentioned. She had been kept from him, left as a ghost to the brother she had loved so deeply. She had been forgotten by the very person she gave her life for. 

 

"Seunghyun..." Jiyong's voice cracked through his reverie. Seunghyun looked up into a tired face, meeting eyes that had lost their fight. "Say something... Please, talk to me..."

 

Jiyong was desperate, exhausted; and Seunghyun had no idea of what to do or say. Nothing in his brain clicked, all the gears did not turn. He was bound hand and foot by weights he never knew existed. His breathing began to falter, picking up at the same time he felt his heart palpitate. Jiyong's hands were at his cheek, bony fingers away the tears that eventually fell, the blame that he couldn't snip away. The strong hold of revolt gripped him and Seunghyun felt nausea rising quick. He pushed away from Jiyong, stumbling to the bathroom. The boy followed after him, shaking at the door as he watched him gag and throw up. 

 

"Seunghyun..." Jiyong ran a hand down his back and Seunghyun could feel him trembling; he could smell the salt in his tears. He threw up again, disgusted with how Jiyong had to hold him; disgusted that he was so helpless. 

He pulled away from Jiyong, balling up on himself. "I need to be alone," he blurted out. Jiyong opened his mouth to speak, but Seunghyun was quicker. "Please, I need to be alone, I'm sorry..." 

 

Jiyong let his hand leave the warmth of Seunghyun's shoulder, drawing backwards as he did so. He uttered a quiet agreement, supporting himself on the door frame to get up. "I understand," he said, casting Seunghyun one long lingering gaze before he retreated. 

 

 

 

His head was threatening to explode the moment he opened his eyes. Seunghyun ran a hand through his hair, sitting up groggily. He 

 

A knock on the door roused Jiyong from a restless sleep. He stirred, wiping a steady stream of sweat from his neck; uncurling himself slowly from the tangle of his covers. As soon as he sat up, the pain returned, making him cry out. The ache from the old wound hadn't stopped since the afternoon. It started while he was finished plating the ribs; a sharp stab to his side when he inhaled, nearly causing him to drop the porcelain in his hands. Jiyong grit his teeth and bore with it, quickly setting out the rest of the meal before the trembling would start. He walked home after, hoping that the pain was a ghost reaction to the conflict that had been burning at his chest since he revealed the story. When he got home he was breathless and coughing; a hand clasped firmly over his mouth, the other at his side. He made for the bag of drugs he had gotten from Daesung, finding it strangely ironic that he should be trying them for the first time today. Slumped against the wall, Jiyong drew from the small vial and pushed the tip of the needle into his forearm. And then he waited. It wasn't quick enough to stem the chill that was running up his spine, or the searing pain that was spreading at his side. Jiyong let out a strangled noise, tumbling over to the sink as the bloody cough began. He only registered the numbness when he was on his knees, legs unable to keep up. Only then did he dare to breathe. It didn't stop of coughing though, but it did enough to take away the pain. The boy slowly discarded his soiled shirt, tossing it into the sink, palms staining the marble red. Daesung had been right about the drug being strong, he could barely feel his feet as he dragged himself to his room, panting and sweating violently. A buzzing filled his ears, fogging his senses. His worn out body gave out sooner than he wanted and Jiyong couldn't find it in him to fight it. He caved within minutes, passing out on the bed. 

 

Another knock startled him and Jiyong almost jumped, running a hand through his hair. "In a minute!" He called, wincing at the pain. His voice hardly carried any weight, he could only hope that the person on the other side of the door could hear it. It took him effort to get out of bed and even more will not to just collapse in the middle of his living room. The knocking on the door grew frenzied as he neared it, "I'm here, i'm here," he rasped, pausing to grapple the door frame for support; taking deep breaths to ease himself. 

 

The door was pulled open and Seunghyun darted backwards, unsure of how to begin. Jiyong's mouth fell open, staring at him like he was a ghost. "Hi." He choked out.

 

"S-Seunghyun!" Jiyong stuttered and then inhaled all too strongly. The sudden action sent a sharp burn all the way to his neck and he crouched on the floor, clutching his side. Seunghyun knelt beside him, and Jiyong kept his back to him just as the coughing began. He tasted iron at the back of his throat and let out a panicked swearing, cupping his lips. 

 

"Ji, are you okay?" 

 

Jiyong fought to steady his shaking shoulders, the pain now residing somewhere between his rib and waist. "Could you..." He croaked, keeping one hand clammed over his lips and chin. In his current state he wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom without help and he couldn't risk Seunghyun noticing. "There's paper towels... In the bathroom..." He had to pause, shutting his eyes tight to clear his vision from tears. "Could you?" 

 

There was a quick shuffling of feet before Seunghyun ran to the bathroom and returned with some paper towels. "Here," he whispered, wanting to tuck Jiyong's hair back but the smaller man shifted slightly away, panting as he did so. 

 

Jiyong spat into the towels, taking care to clean his lips and chin; conveniently crumpling them into the bin by the door. He slid back off his knees, resting against the wall, breathing harshly. 

 

"Ji..." 

 

Jiyong managed to smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't... expect to see you..."

 

Seunghyun shook his head, a gentle look in his eyes as he ran a finger down the boy's earlobe. "Are you okay?" 

 

"I'm okay..." he replied, biting down on his lip. "I just... I just need to sit for awhile." He leaned his head back, mentally willing the pain to pass fast. Maybe he should have doubled the dosage.

 

Seunghyun sat down across from him, "Can I get you anything?" Jiyong shook his head again, sweat beading at his forehead, clutching his side tighter, coughing. The taller man's brows knotted, concern creasing his eyes. 

 

"Seunghyun," Jiyong reached for him and Seunghyun took his hand in a light hold. "Why have you come? I thought..." He coughed again, his chest tightening painfully and he pulled another towel to his lips. He wiped at it, feeling lightheaded, sick from the metallic taste on his tongue. "I thought you needed time..." 

 

"I..." He struggled to find his words, in the dark he did not notice the red stain on the towel in the boy's hand. "I did..." He shook his head. "You made me dinner..." A smile seized the sides of his lips as he said so, deepening the dip of his dimples. Jiyong returned the smile with strained effort, his grip on Seunghyun's hand tightening. The boy let out a sharp gasp, chin tucked to his chest as a sudden flash of pain shot up his rib. "Ji!" Seunghyun steadied him letting the boy lean on his shoulder. "Where are your meds?"

 

Jiyong took comfort in the man's arms, trying to concentrate on breathing in his scent. "Your place... They're at your place." 

 

Seunghyun hoisted him on his feet, sweeping one arm behind the small of his back. "I'll take you back now." 

 

"Hyun... No..." He whimpered, holding on tightly to his boyfriend. "It's not the right time for me to be there..." 

 

"Not another word Ji, I came here to take you home anyway." He was insistent, already bringing him to the door. "Can you walk?" Jiyong made a small noise of protest and Seunghyun hushed him, easily lifting the boy's light frame into his arms. He carried him down the flight of stairs, placing him with care into the pillion side of the car. 

 

"Seunghyun..." Jiyong spoke again as Seunghyun started the engine. The street lights making his chalky pallor obvious to Seunghyun. "You don't have to do this... It will pass soon..." 

 

Seunghyun shot Jiyong a mixture of pain and worry as the boy bit down on his lip again, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Jiyong..." Seunghyun's hand lifted from the gear and he absently traced a path round Jiyong's thumb. "I know I said I wanted to spend some time alone. It's still a lot to take, but..." He retracted his hand from Jiyong to run in through his hair. "I've had almost the entire afternoon to think. Enough to know I that I... I'm sorry," He searched his mind for the proper words. "I made you feel unwanted... I didn't mean to," Jiyong let out a sob and then a breath, rolling to his side. Seunghyun shifted the gear so they could go faster, "bear with it baby, we'll be home soon." 

 

Home... The word rang repeatedly in Jiyong's ear. Offering the slightest form of ease to the pain. The lines of the street lamp began to blur and Jiyong could feel himself yielding to the comfort. 

 

When he conscious again, he was already in Seunghyun's apartment. His eyes opened to an expression of worry etched on handsome features. "Baby, what do you need?" Seunghyun asked, lanky fingers laying out bags of medication on the bed. He absently read off the labels in English, pronouncing each one to near perfection. Jiyong heard him pause and draw in a sharp inhale of breath. The boy shut his eyes, knowing what was to come next. "Morphine." There was a lengthy silence before the brush of Seunghyun's thumb kneaded away at the knot between his brows, gentle fingers tracing the wet patch underneath his lashes. "Is this it Ji?" 

 

Jiyong swallowed hard, his chest constricting painfully. He in a breath and nodded, turning his face away from Seunghyun, ashamed that he should have to see this side of him. 

 

Seunghyun lifted the boy's arm to roll up his sleeve, securing a pressure band just above the forearm. He pulled out a vial and syringe, reading the dosage instructions carefully. Extracting an alcohol swab, he cleaned the area where an exposed vein was just beginning to swell. "Okay," he whispered, taking a couple of deep breaths. The top of the needle was inserted slowly into skin and Seunghyun used the pad of his fingers to feel that it was in far enough before pushing it to empty. When he was done discarding the items into the bin, he strode to the kitchen, taking out the first aid kit to retrieve a band aid, securing it gently over a small blot of blood that had risen to the surface of Jiyong's arm. He sat by the bed in silence, adapting Jiyong's habit of chewing on his bottom lip; quite unsure of what to do next. He thought briefly of his sister, how calm and controlled she would have been in his place. "Yu-Ni..." He whispered her name, surprised at how easily it rolled off the tip of his tongue. "Tell me, what would you have done huh?" Seunghyun gave in to a sudden onset of tears, burying his face in his palms. "Noona... Your stupid brother doesn't remember you. I'm so sorry..." He breathing grew harsh, overpowered by the shaking of his shoulders. "I'm so sorry..."

 

The sound of shuffling came from the figure next to him and Jiyong's voice provided the timely escape from his thoughts. "Hyun..." 

 

A thin finger twitched against the pillow and Seunghyun rounded to the side, bringing the chilly hand to his cheek. He apologized for disturbing the boy, letting out a pain-filled chuckle. "I'm sorry, it's just too much..." 

 

"Seunghyun..." The uneasiness that clouded his features was beginning to slip. The dampness of sweat was drying up; Jiyong was falling asleep, the morphine beginning its run. 

 

He slipped his shoes off and removed his jacket, crawling under the covers beside Jiyong. Seunghyun busied himself checking for any bruising he might have caused earlier; relieved when he found none. He planted kisses on Jiyong's hairline, combing his fingers slowly to untangle his hair. When he was done he sidled up next to him, drawing an arm behind Jiyong's head. He wanted to be close to him, to listen to his breathing and to count the beats of his heart until all stray thoughts would disappear. Jiyong seemed to be the only source of strength for him; the solid ground beneath his feet. The breath of air to help his mind relax. Seunghyun shut his eyes against Jiyong's hair and allowed himself to follow the boy to rest, blonde locks tickling his lashes. He slipped a hand into Jiyong's; firmly linking them together, rested on top of the boy's chest. The older man felt the tension in his shoulders give way and he invited the sweet smelling sense of calm to invade his nerves. Concentrating his breathing in step with the rise and fall of Jiyong's chest, he thought no more of the uncertainty; finally letting himself go under the firm pull of a much needed slumber.