Outside the rain is pouring down hard. Jessica sits on her bed, knees to her face, eyes swelling with tears, as she listens to the sound of the rain tapping on the window.

As she remembers the previous evening, she digs her sore face into her knees, wishing it all away.

-- flashback –

Jessica's eyes flutter open and she is temporarily blinded by the brightness of the ceiling. She slowly rises up from the bed she's lying on, and rubs her tired eyes.

When she finally came to hers senses, she started rubbing the somewhat coarse sheets she was sitting on. She finally realized that she was in a hospital bed.

“Jessica!” Donghae gasped, quickly running to her bed. “You're okay. Are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, grabbing her hand.

“Why am I here? What happened?” Jessica asked, confused.

“You're still in the hospital.”

“The hospital?” her eyes searching the room.

“Yeah...you fainted just a few hours ago...remember?” Donghae reluctantly reminded her.

“I did?...I did.” Jessica remembered exactly what Donghae had mentioned. “I fainted because...because of what Yoonji said,” she pointed out.

“She said...that your donor...is Siwon...” her voice breaking. “But how could this happen? Siwon was supposed to be coming home. How can Siwon actually be dead?!” Jessica was starting to break down as she looked at Donghae. Donghae's eyes dropped from her and he bit his lower lip.

“You..” she said glaring at him intently. “You knew, didn't you?”

Donghae avoided her sorrowful stare. But her eyes began to narrow, her anger quietly building.

“Answer me!” she demanded, pushing his shoulder.

“Yes, I did...I knew...” the truth slowly came out.

Jessica was at a loss for words in complete disbelief. She suddenly became very quiet and stilled herself. She closed her eyes and slowly let out a violent puff of air. “How did you know?”

Donghae carefully began to explain. “A couple weeks ago, I came to the hospital and searched through the confidential records in the basement.”

Jessica's gaze went back to him.

“I went looking for my file, hoping that it might contain some information about my accident. I had found some recent papers with clippings of the accident and when I came across some information, I...I couldn't believe it.”

“What information did you find?” Jessica asked, her voice hushed.

“I had found the name of the person who I had gotten into the traffic accident with.”

“And??”

“And...I was surprised...because...it matched the name of the possible heart donor.”

Jessica was silent. Her eyes widened as she carefully pieced the puzzle together. “Oh-my-god,” her whispered voice spit out quickly.

“I panicked, Jessica! I had to make sure it wasn't a mistake...but when I checked his file...it had to be true...Jessica I'm so sorry. I didn't know until then that Siwon and I collided the night of the accident. I didn't know...I'm sorry.”

But she was frozen. She was staring at the floor as if she had seen a ghost. She was completely petrified, in a state of shock.

“Jessica...Jessica?” Donghae rubbed Jessica's shoulder, hoping to wake her up from her catatonic state.

Jessica lightly grabs Donghae's hand and takes it off her shoulder. “I need to go home..I need to get out of here,” she said. She slowly got up from the bed and started to feel a little woozy. She held her forehead with her hand as she rose up from the bed.

“No, Jessica, you need to stay,” Donghae said, gently pushing her back down onto the bed.

She immediately glared up at him, her eyes like daggers into his heart. He took his hands off her shoulders and stepped back.

“Jessica, please don't be angry with me...” Donghae begged.

“Stay away from me,” she warned him as she got off her bed. She started walking toward the door and Donghae began going after her. She quickly turned around and Donghae froze in his steps. Her broken-hearted stare, her eyes filled to the brim with tears – Donghae was hurt.

She walked out of the room, leaving Donghae alone.

-- end of flashback –

Jessica had Siwon's ring clutched tightly in her fist. She could feel the ring making indents in the skin of her tightening hand and then pulled her hand to her heart.

She wished that she could forget everything that's happened and fell over on her bed. Her pillow started to become soaked by her tears.

Her bedroom was silent except for her tearful whimpers and the continuous drumming of rain drops against the glass of her window.

–

“Hey, Yoona, put some whipped cream on this, my phone's ringing,” Seulgi said, handing over a latte.

Yoona nodded her head and quickly grabbed the drink from her unni.

Seulgi pulled her cellphone out of the pocket of her apron and answered it.

“Yoboseyo...Ah, Sica ya~”

Once Yoona heard Jessica's name, she was intent on listening.

“Are you okay? You sounds strange...Are you sure?...No, it's fine, really. Just stay home. Yoona and I will take care of the cafe for the rest of the night. Just get lots of rest, alright?...Alright, annyung~.” Seulgi let out a sigh and put her phone away.

“Was that Jessica?” Yoona asked immediately after.

“Yeah, she just called out sick. She probably won't be able to work for a couple days.”

Yoona nodded her head.

“Have you seen her lately?” Seulgi asked, turning to Yoona. But Yoona shook her head.

“No. I haven't really heard from her.”

“Arasso.”

“Why do you ask? Did she sound really sick?” Yoona asked, crossing her arms.

“Well, her voice did sound really hoarse over the phone, but not as if she were coughing or sick. But you know how after you cry for a long time, your voice just gets really weak?” Seulgi tried to explain.

“She sounded like she was crying?” Yoona asked a bit surprised.

Seulgi nodded her head in affirmation. “Yeah. I hope she's alright,” Seulgi replied, walking toward the kitchen.

“Do me a favor and check up on her? Arasso?” Seulgi asked Yoona before walking into the kitchen.

“Definitely,” Yoona answered.

–

Jessica didn't know where she was. Everything was white and she could barely see her feet beneath the haze of fog that was filling the air.

 

She was running around, waving her arms, trying to fan the smoke that blurred her vision.

 

“Siwon?” Jessica said, looking further ahead of her, squinting her eyes.

 

There, in the distance, she saw him, standing alone. His back was to her.

 

“Oppa?” she called out. At the sound of her voice he took a short glance over his shoulder and their eyes met. She knew it was him. She recognized every inch of him perfectly. She knew that broad-shouldered back could only belong to him.

 

“Siwon,” her voice relieved, a smile appearing on her face. She began to take a step forward until she heard broken whimpers from behind her.

 

She quickly turned around and saw Donghae. He had his hand over his heart and he was coughing, hard. He looked like he was in serious pain as he slowly began to sink lower onto the ground.

 

“Donghae?” Jessica asked.

 

He was convulsing, suffering on the ground, surrounded by the murky cloudiness that made it impossible for Jessica to see where she was going.

 

Tormented by the sound of his agony, Jessica started to go toward him. But remembering that she saw Siwon, she turned around again. Right after their eyes connected again, he turned his head away and began walking away.

 

“Oppa!” she called out, about to go after him.

 

But he disappeared into the nebulous veil of smoke.

 

Donghae's cries reminded her of his presence and she decided to immediately run to him.

 

But every step closer seemed to only keep her further away. Jessica didn't understand. She tried to reach him, but it seemed as though she was not getting any nearer to him.

 

Suddenly, the fog began to build and Jessica could only hear Donghae and not see him.

 

“Donghae!” she mourned. “Where are you?”

 

His torturous groans seemed to echo and she fell to the ground feeling completely helpless.

Jessica's eyes slowly opened as she heard a knock at her front door.

It was a nightmare...it was just a nightmare, she tried to relax herself.

She rose from her bed and headed to the front door. She was about to open the door until the possibility of Donghae being the one knocking, entered her mind.

She dropped her hand and thought to herself. The knocks became more urgent.

She took a deep breath and unlocked the door. She cautiously reached for the doorknob and opened the door.

“Unni?” Yoona peeked through the small slit of the door.

It's just Yoona.

“Unni, I came to check up on you. Are you okay? Seulgi said you were sick,” she asked, her voice worrisome.

“I'm fine, Yoona,” Jessica tried to reassure her, keeping her hands on the door from opening completely.

“It's just a cold.”

“You're a horrible liar Jung Sooyeon,” Yoona replied, her voice sharp. “Can I please come in?”

Knowing she wouldn't be able to get her to leave, Jessica opened the door in defeat, her eyes to the floor. Yoona stepped in as Jessica closed the door behind her.

“Unni,” Yoona said, her voice saddening. “You look terrible!” She brushed the hair out of Jessica's face but Jessica pushed her hand away.

“Gee, thanks,” she said, annoyed.

“Your eyes are swollen, your voice is hoarse, you look like a mess. What is going on?” Yoona asked her, following her to the living room couch.

“Why do you have to be so nosy?” Jessica asked, pulling her feet up onto the couch.

“Hey, I'm just worried. Seulgi's worried. Jessica, what's wrong?...Is this about Siwon?”

The sound of his name signaled the welling of tears in her eyes. Jessica covered her face with both of her hands.

“Oh my god, Yoona,” she said, her weak voice becoming a tearful sob.

“Unni! What's the matter?” Yoona asked, moving toward Jessica. She pulled her hands down and held her face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away her tears.

“Siwon's dead,” she answered.

“What? Is that true?” Yoona asked, completely shocked at this news.

Jessica nodded her head. “I went to Incheon hospital. He died three months ago in a car accident...that's why he never came home,” she explained.

“Oh my god,” Yoona gasped. “Jessica, I'm so sorry.”

Yoona pulled Jessica closer to her. Jessica swung her legs off the couch and leaned her head on Yoona's shoulder. Her dongsaeng wrapped her arm around her and used her other hand to hold her face.

Jessica continued to bawl, completely broken down in Yoona's arms.

“It'll be okay, it'll be okay,” Yoona whispered in her ear, over and over again.

–

Emerging from the shadows, Donghae appeared.

He stood in the hallway, behind the living room couch, unbeknownst to Yoona or Jessica.

He observed as Jessica cried into Yoona's arms and Yoona whispering “It'll be okay.”

Donghae was immobile. Struck by guilt, he stood frozen in the hallway of Jessica's apartment.

The sight of her agony pained him. The sound of her suffering left him powerless.

Tears began to form in his eyes. They trickled down his face like the rain against the glass.

--

[a/n]

Thank you for waiting so patiently. I've been so terrible. I left you with such a terrible cliffhanger and then released two new stories. Haha. I'm a terrible, terrible author. I know you've been begging for more and here it is! Don't worry, I plan on finishing this story, no doubt about that. Please check out my two new stories Love Always and Atonement.

Love Always (click) - ft. Yoona, Siwon, Bae Seulgi, Jessica, Yunho, Kyuhyun and many more.
A story about love, secrets, and destiny. This storyline features Choi Siwon as the crowned prince and sole heir to Korea's throne. After his father's recent death, it is Siwon's royal duty to fulfill his responsibilities as Korea's future King. But after a traumatizing car accident and various moments of fate, Siwon's future and past lead him to question himself, his destiny, and his personal desires. 

Atonement (click) - ft. Seohyun, Siwon, Yoona, Kyuhyun and a few other special charactes.

The year is 2018. Seo Joohyun is a 27 year old journalism major who aspires to be a real writer. But she struggles to find inspiration for a novel to write. While writing for local papers, she also works part time at a coffee shop. While working one day, Joohyun finds a journal filled with entries that are written in the form of love letters. Thanks to fate, she eventually finds the owner of the journal and although he rejects her many times, he finally allows her to hear his story about his previous marriage to the woman he claims to be the "only love of his life." A story about love, trust, separation, and redemption. Atonement is a story that reminds us that 'true love means never having to say you're sorry.'