24 - Going  Back

“Here, have a seat.” Jiyong slapped the chair in quick frantic movements.

It was a little after nine in the morning. Jiyong arranged a meeting with Dara to discuss the movie about the selection of songs. He brought her to his studio in YG. Dara could tell that he was really nervous it was almost laughable. Jiyong’s hands were shaking and he had this unsure look on his face. She always saw him as the confident guy back in college, but she couldn’t see a hint of that confidence right that moment.

Dara gave him a faint smile and then sat on the chair. Jiyong slowly turned the chair towards the monitor and then he pulled a chair beside her and then sat down.

“So I was thinking…” Jiyong cleared his throat and reached for the mouse to toggle a page in the computer.

“I made this song. I think it will be perfect for that scene when Eunchan shaves her head in front of the mirror…” Jiyong made a few clicks and the song started.

“It’s still rough around the edges…I just made it last night but I think you should hear it…” Jiyong continued.

“And this part right here…this is what we’ll put…”

“That scene is crucial…we still have to consult Choi on how he wants the scene played out. He may want the scene without any music so the raw emotion should be conveyed perfectly. But the breakdown of the scene should have this part of the song.” Dara answered.

“What do you think of the song? I think I should switch it up one key higher…”

“You’re in charge of the musical score. You have a free hand on that department.” Dara leaned on the chair and looked around the studio. Kiko told her earlier not to give Jiyong too much of a hard time but Dara couldn’t help but put up the protective barrier around her against Jiyong’s natural charm.

She stole a glance at Jiyong’s reaction. She felt her heart break a little bit. She could see the disappointment and agony in his face however much he tried hiding it. She sat straight and looked at him.

“As long as you understand my story…the emotions, dispositions and views of each character…then I don’t see any problem with your decisions in the musical score…” Jiyong smiled brightly upon hearing her.

“Thank you. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this project.”

“Choi just dropped it on my face the moment I arrived here in Seoul. So yeah…” She wanted to say that she wasn’t really given any choice but she stopped herself from continuing on. Dara bit her lip and tapped on the desk in front of her.

Dara felt the need to break the awkward silence that enveloped the room.

“So what do you think of Eunchan’s character?” She asked him hesitantly.

They started discussing each character of the movie. They dissected Eunchan and Youngdo’s similarities and the evolution of their characters as the story progressed. Jiyong felt really good because it was as if they were back in time five years ago. Only this time, they were discussing a topic face to face. He was so enthralled by the animated expressions and the excitement on her face and how her eyes glittered whenever she smiles.

“I don’t know…I just feel like Eunchan is lonelier than Youngdo…they just deal with their loneliness and pain in a different way…” Jiyong leaned on his chair and stretched his arms.

“She just learned she has leukemia, she doesn’t have a family…she only has a stepfather who doesn’t care about her. She’s literally all alone in the world and she just has this idol who doesn’t even know she exists. This line she says on Scene 33…about the only people will notice she’s gone are her followers on tumblr who reblogs all her posts about their idol. She has a sad life but she masks her sadness in happiness.”

“Yes. She does have a sad life…but if you think about it, everything in her life has been nothing but tragedy and sadness…the only thing that made her happy is her idol and his music…so she chooses not to dwell on all her tragedies, she’s just trying to hold on to the last thing that can make her happy before she dies…” Dara said softly.

“I mean…if you know your days on earth are numbered…wouldn’t you choose to be happy? Eunchan chasing after her idol, trying to meet her idol before she dies, is her choosing happiness. At least that’s how I try to view Eunchan’s thoughts…” Dara was flustered upon noticing Jiyong silently smiling at her. He looked like he’s been absentmindedly looking at her face all this time, just looking at her with an expression she can’t really identify.

“What?” Dara asked him. He shook his head and gave out a shy smile while scratching his head.

“I’m sorry…it just feels surreal…I’m right here talking to you…I’ve always wondered what would it be like if we were to have those discussions we had before face to face…and here we are discussing your movie project…it just totally feels surreal…”

“It’s a thousand times better than what I imagined it would be.” Jiyong sighed.

Dara kept silent. She really didn’t know what to respond and how to react. She was taken aback by his honesty.

“Uhm…Dara…” Dara looked at him expectantly.

“Have you ever gone back to your Red Lotus blog?” Jiyong asked reluctantly. Dara shook her head.

“I didn’t have the time to go back to it…I guess I just felt the need to let go of Red Lotus when I left Seoul. Let the past behind me. Start a new. Start fresh.”

“Oh. I see.” Dara felt the disappointment in Jiyong’s voice. But before she could react, someone came in the studio. It was a tall guy in his mid thirties wearing a cap over his hoodie.

“Oh hyung…” Jiyong stood up and Dara followed and gave the guy a polite bow.

“You must be Dara.” Dara was surprised that the guy knew her name.

“Don’t be surprised. Almost everyone in this building heard a lot about you.” The guy chuckled at Jiyong’s embarrassed expression.

“Don’t exaggerate hyung.” Jiyong mumbled shyly.

“I’m Teddy. One of the producers here in YG. I’m just here to get something.” Teddy smiled at Dara, he r