I stood there by the door of the Starbucks, peering in. I was on time and it seemed that Yifan was even earlier than I. On the table in front of him sat two mugs of coffee. One for me, I assumed. His hands were clasped in a tent by his chin as he nervously tapped his feet. I felt a moment of pity for him but I let it go when I remembered what he had done last night.

 

Might as well go in and put him out of his misery.

 

Walking into the shop and over to his table was like a pathway of torture. I didn't know how I was supposed to greet him. Perky, sweet voice as if nothing had happened and I wasn't angry? Or maybe I should approach with an air of nonchalance to show that I didn't care. He seemed to be agitated enough that I didn't have the heart to show any of my irritation.

 

It didn't help that the sound of clicking keyboards bounced off every wall. The voices were so hushed that I was afraid people would hear my thoughts. I wished I had suggested a more private place.

 

No, unfavourable things happened in private places. Public was good.

 

I called his name a bit too early and a bit too softly that he didn't notice I was walking towards him until I tapped him on the shoulder. Then his whole body jumped and he turned around to face me with a tired look in his eyes. I had hoped to stay mad at him but he was a friend and it pained me to see him with dark circles under his eyes.

 

"Yeon Mi!" he stood up and rubbed his neck as I slid the seat across from him. "I got you a drink." His voice was soft as he gestured towards the cup that sat in front of me but I could hear the slight tremor. My goal was to not sound like that.

 

"Thank you," I said as I blew on the hot drink. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

 

Yifan took a seat, folding himself into the small chair. "About last night, I want to apologize," he said while looking at everywhere but me. One glance and anybody could tell he wasn't use to apologizing for these things. "It was wrong of me to...kiss you without your permission."

 

"It's fine," I cut in, feeling the weight of the awkward words. "Don't worry about it. I think you should have a talk with Hyo Jung, though."

 

He gave a shrug and I noticed his shoulders slump forward. I didn't know if he was relieved to be over with the apology or if he was reluctant to talk to Hyo Jung. "I tried. She wouldn't pick up her phone."

 

"Oh." I tapped my finger against the lid of my cup, wondering if I should tell him that I was meeting with her in a few minutes. Maybe not. She hadn't invited him and today was supposed to be a girls' day for us.

 

A silent elephant sat itself between us as Yifan continued to ignore my face. It seemed as if the sleeve of his jacket was much more interesting.

 

It wasn't until I finally took a sip of my coffee that he spoke. "Look, I was just wondering where we stand now."

 

"Friends," I said without a moment's hesitation.

 

"I don't want to push you or anything but if I still have a chance, I'd like to take it," he continued, almost like he didn't hear me at all. "I can wait if I must."

 

I fought the great urge to roll my eyes. This wasn't the calm and collected Yifan that I knew. In front of me was a lovesick puppy. "I don't like you that way and I thought I made myself clear last night. Besides, you got into the top twelve last month. Your debut is near so why are you even thinking about girlfriends right now?"

 

My words finally got him to look at me. Albeit, with wide eyes but at least he was paying attention now. But it only took a second before he went back to lose the shocked expression. He stared back down at his coffee, which was no longer steaming hot. "I don't even know if this EXO thing is happening anymore. People are getting switched in and out and I think I'm next off the list."

 

I leaned back and crossed my arms. "So now that your career path appears to be coming to an end, you're preparing for a non-idol life? Find a girlfriend and settle down with a nine-to-five job?"

 

He opened his mouth but seemed to run my words through his head. When he didn't have anything else to say, he closed his mouth and merely nodded.

 

"I see." I stood up, taking my coffee with me. "Well, I hope you all the best. Goodbye."

 

My departure seemed to surprise him. As I walked out of the coffee shop with my head held high, I could hear his footsteps right behind me. "Wait," he said when he caught up. "I didn't mean it like that."

 

I took a sip of my drink and nodded. "Okay, so what were you planning to do if you actually did make it into SM's new group? Dump me?" I asked without stopping my fast pace down the street. It would only take me a few minutes to get to the donut shop at this rate.

 

When Yifan didn't answer—and I didn't expect him to—I almost laughed.

 

"I don't mind you having a crush on me," I said, almost biting my tongue at the weird words, "and I'm sorry that the feelings aren't mutual but please don't start anything you won't be committed to. Focus on your job and find a girl later." I had to peek over to see if he was still listening. Indeed, he was except his head was down, making me feel guilty. "As for right now, I'm meeting up with a friend so, bye!"

 

I quickly turned a corner and luckily, Yifan stopped following me. Phew, I didn't know how long I could keep up that nonchalant image.

 

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uwu sorry about my lack of regular updates. i've been working diligently on my new oneshots and they've taken a good chunk of my writing time. not to mention, prom is coming up and i'm having boy problems @_@ i hope you guys have a fantastic week, though! (:

^^^ BOY PROBLEMS!!!