We Have to Distrust Each Other; It's Our Only Defense Against Betrayal

Dreams Don't Turn to Dust

     It had to be his imagination. There was no way the entire company had some sort of a large-scale conspiracy against him, so there had to be another explanation for the mistrusting looks that would suddenly vanish the moment he caught them, or the whispering he swore he could hear at the edges of his hearing. Sighing quietly to himself, Youngjae did his best to focus on balancing the tray of coffee he was carrying while calling the elevator and to ignore the stares he could feel prickling on the back of his neck. It was a little difficult to put them out of mind, though, when the expressions he had grown used to in the past few minutes were exactly reflected on the faces of those who the opening elevator doors revealed, though. Immediately upon seeing Youngjae standing there, all eyes became averted and the conspiratorial whispers he had heard emanating from inside disappeared into thin air.

     Clenching his teeth, Youngjae kept his expression neutral and marched into the elevator as soon as it had emptied out. After tapping the button for his floor with his elbow, he leaned against the hand railing and waited impatiently for the doors to close so he could have a peaceful, isolated trip to the office. Unfortunately, though, out of the corner of his eye, he could see a frazzled figure waving frantically in his direction as they approached at a dead sprint. Only taking a second to debate whether he should let the doors close or not, Youngjae jammed his foot between the doors to prevent them from closing.

     When he saw who was entering the elevator, though, Youngjae briefly regretted it. Certainly he didn't dislike Himchan, but with the kind of morning he had been having, he didn't feel in the mood for the man's incessant chatter and unfailing sunshine attitude. Grinning, Himchan managed to squeeze out a thank you between pants as he tried to catch his breath, evidently having run straight from the parking lot. As the doors closed and the cables began slowly lifting the elevator upward, though, Himchan began emanating the same mood everyone else that morning had been. Groaning internally, Youngjae stared intently at the numbers as they began growing, wishing they would move faster so he could get off this elevator.

     "I assume you haven't heard anything yet," Himchan spoke, breaking the silence between the two of them before it got too heavy. "Most of the employees are in the dark, but enough rumors have leaked out that there's plenty of hearsay floating around." He was dancing around the subject, waiting for Youngjae to ask what he was talking about.

     "What do you mean?" Youngjae sighed, forcing himself to not sound as interested as he really felt. It was enough for Himchan, though, who immediately opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by the elevator doors opening. Frowning, he slid closer to Youngjae to make room for the incoming flow of well-dressed, chattering business men and women, all of whom were attempting to stare at Youngjae and simultaneously pretend they didn't know he existed. This, in addition to the sudden decrease in the conversation decibel level, gave Youngjae a pretty good reason to suspect that, once more, he was the hottest topic in the building. Sighing under his breath, he edged further into the elevator corner and waited impatiently for the doors to close.

     "Keep on your toes, Mr. Yoo. You're losing friends fast, and there's more than one person here who would love to take advantage of that." Himchan had remained silent throughout the elevator ride, choosing to go for the cryptic and mysterious message at the very last moment approach. Snapping his hand around to stare at Himchan, who only winked conspiratorially before slipping his way out of the elevator, Youngjae wondered exactly what he meant. It wasn't as though he had started out with many friends in the first place, so if even they were beginning to question his place in the company... But why? Why would everyone suddenly start turning their backs on him?

     "Something is happening and it's started leaking out to the employees- something that should have been kept shut tight by the higher ups- and whatever it is, people seem to think I'm involved somehow." Frowning, Youngjae stared at his reflection in the reflective doors, avoiding noticing the other reflections staring intently at him. He had never been very good at reading expressions, but it wasn't hard to tell that the one's directed at him now were anything but friendly. They looked angry, even.

     "I don't know why they keep him around. Isn't it obvious that he's the one who would have the incentive to-" Three or four shushes of varying panic quickly shut up whoever had raised their voice just loud enough for Youngjae to catch wind, pushing him further into the dark. Clenching his jaw, Youngjae shoved his way through the crowd the moment the doors opened, only barely keeping the coffees balanced in his hands, and made a bee line for the marketing department offices. Perhaps Himchan had thought he was being useful by dropping a hint that not all was right in the Nalgae company, but Youngjae was not nearly aware enough of the politics of the company to understand such a vague warning. If he wanted real answers, he would need to ask the one person in the company who wasn't afraid to hide exactly what they thought of him and would be more than willing to explain in great detail why everyone was behaving the way they were.

     When he entered the room, all those who had arrived before him immediately went quiet and openly stared at him. Leave it to the marketing department to be unabashed about their curiosity. "Good morning," he announced, breaking the silence that had descended. A few mumbles responses was all he got, though, before the department descended upon him and began collecting their coffees. This was not a group of people who believed in small talk or feigned social ability before noon.

     "I'm surprising you showed up today. I'd have thought you'd be in the states by now, swimming in your new found wealth." Biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep from retorting, Youngjae forced his expression to remain neutral and turned to face Hwang Jin. Though he had been expecting for the man to be brutally honest about what was occurring in the company, he still found himself annoyed. "Come on. I have some papers I need you to copy for me." Crooking his finger, Hwang Jin gestured for Youngjae to follow him before marching toward the storage closet. Rolling his eyes, Youngjae complied.

     Nudging the door open with his foot, Hwang Jin dropped it behind him just in time for it to begin closing on Youngjae. Shutting his eyes so another eye roll didn't escape, Youngjae shot his hand out and caught the door. "Good catch," Hwang Jin chuckled, rummaging through his filing cabinets, "and good job keeping your mouth shut. Keeping your temper down will help you in the next few weeks." More cryptic warnings, but Youngjae could tell that Hwang Jin wasn't quite finished talking with him.

     "You're a bright kid, so I can't imagine you haven't noticed the way people are acting." Youngjae hummed a response and folded his arms over his chest before respectfully dropping them to his side when Hwang Jin turned to look at him. "Fold your arms, flail them around, chop them off; I don't care. Just do what makes you most comfortable," he grunted, waving his hand vaguely in the air before going back to rummaging through the paperwork. Quietly, Youngjae slipped his hands into his pockets. "Anyway, somebody is unhappy with their paycheck and so decided to start padding it." For a brief moment, Youngjae allowed his eyes to widen in surprise before quickly slipping back into a neutral expression. Turning around, Hwang Jin extended a stack of loose-leaf papers toward him.

     "Nalgae has an embezzler," scoffing, Hwang Jin folded his arms over his stomach and leaned back against the filing cabinet. "It was supposed to stay under wraps until the guys up top figured out who it was, but secrets aren't a company strong point." Watching Youngjae's expression for any sort of reaction, Hwang Jin smirked when he noticed the flicker of realization that crossed his face.

     "They think it's me?" Youngjae demanded, his grip tightening on the papers.

     "Don't rip them. For once, I've put you in charge of something important," Hwang Jin remarked offhandedly, pointing to the papers. Slowly, Youngjae relaxed his grip on them. "And can you really blame them? The long-lost son of a deadbeat company failure suddenly shows up looking for work, and the moment he gets a job money starts vanishing. Even I've started wondering."

     Somebody was stealing company funds, and everyone suspected it was him. No wonder Himchan had said he was losing friends fast- not many people looked fondly upon a thief. "I can assure you, sir, I have no connection to the-" clearing his throat pointedly, Hwang Jin interrupted Youngjae. Clenching his jaw, Youngjae did his best to not react to the almost condescending way Hwang Jin was looking at him. "This is bull, sir. I'm not stealing anything from the company." Though the words had come from his own mouth, Youngjae was more surprised by what he said than Hwang Jin.

     Chuckling, Hwang Jin nodded slowly. "I want to believe you, mostly because I don't need this kind of coming from my department, but I'll still be keeping an eye on you. Make sure you aren't planning any trips to Cancun while you're supposed to be working. Now get going, I need those copies ASAP." Youngjae wasn't sure if Hwang Jin was cracking jokes or if he really did expect Youngjae to be booking tickets for expensive vacations while in the very company he was purportedly stealing from, so he couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or relieved. At the very least, it didn't seem that Hwang Jin was going to actively attempt to have Youngjae fired or arrested, so rather than stewing all day Youngjae opted for relief.

     The feeling didn't last long, though. It was apparent that the entire department had heard, more or less, what was going on at the moment and had their suspicions about Youngjae, but nobody was willing to come out and say it like Hwang Jin. Tapping his foot impatiently, Youngjae wished Nalgae would invest in higher-grade technology for the marketing department so he wouldn't have to stand here for the next two life times waiting for the copy machine to finish grinding out the papers. Beside him, Dong Min chattered nervously in an attempt to battle the tense atmosphere between the two of them. He was the only one who had made an effort to approach Youngjae and not make it obvious he thought he was talking to a criminal, but even Dong Min was beginning to fail.

     Taking pity on the man, Youngjae mumbled a response to one of the flood of questions he was being surrounded by. Perking up, Dong Min immediately pounced on the opportunity and continued chattering while Youngjae started gathering together the warm copies. When he had finished and slipped them inside a nearby folder, Dong Min took the opportunity to say his goodbyes and the two parted ways. The remainder of the day was spent deliberately ignoring the looks he continued receiving from co-workers and comments on the rumors that were meant to be veiled but were painfully obvious to Youngjae. The errands he regularly despised being forced into running became a blessing, and he took advantage of the moments he was out of the office to recollect himself. The embezzlement was technically supposed to be a secret, so although it was apparent at this point that everyone was aware of what was happening, it would be possible to find oneself in trouble should one make it obvious that they were in the know. It wouldn't do for Youngjae to blow up and adamantly deny his involvement in whatever was going on.

     So, when the day ended and everyone began slipping out early to grab drinks at a local bar, Youngjae politely declined. The marketing employees, already known for their lack of tact, would only be more unabashed when out of the office and completely smashed. Instead, Youngjae finished working out the details for Hei-Ryung's upcoming book-signing and then headed for his uncle's office. If he could learn more about what was going on then perhaps he would be able to better work on damage control. There was no doubt the rumors would have reached the board members by now- assuming they weren't the ones to start the whisperings- and considering how tentative his standing with them had already been, he was certain it would be disastrous for something like this to be connected to his name.

     Ms. Nan was already packing her purse and cleaning up by the time he stepped off the elevator, though. "Are you here to see your uncle?" Smiling brightly at Youngjae, she momentarily paused what she was doing and pulled a memo pad out of a drawer. "Unfortunately, he's at a business dinner tonight. I can leave him a note for you if you would like, though," she explained, her pen hovering just over the surface of the paper. It was strange, working for a family member. Most would just call their uncle or meet them in person at home, but here he was leaving a message with the man's secretary. Though Kang Ji Suk was related to him by blood, it was the only connection they had. There was no familial love between the two, as much as they may pretend otherwise.

     When she had finished jotting down that Youngjae would like to speak with Ji Suk at the man's earliest convenience, Ms. Nan ripped off the memo and left it in plain sight for him to read in the morning. "Would you like me to walk you to your car?" Youngjae offered, but the secretary waved him off with a smile.

     "I've got a date tonight," she explained, a faint blush dusting her cheeks.

     "Ah. I hope you enjoy yourself, then."

     After saying their goodbyes, Youngjae left Ms. Nan to finish putting together her purse and headed back into the elevator. The building had mostly cleared out by now, and those who were staying behind had closed their doors in preparation for a long, lonely night. Pulling out his cell phone, Youngjae scrolled through his contacts until he came to the taxi service he had been using. Already on a first-name basis with the smaller company, Youngjae was relieved to hear the voice of someone who didn't suspect him of attempting to steal from his own family's company and was genuinely friendly. He was denied the same sort of peaceful drive, though, when he exited he building and saw his uncle had left the car for him. Sighing, he regretfully canceled the taxi and resisted the urge to make small talk in a desperate attempt to preserve the pleasant mood. The man was working, though, and it would be rude of Youngjae to detain him any further, so he regretfully hung up and nodded in greeting to the driver waiting patiently for him.

     "Good evening, sir." Though it was meant to be a pleasantry, there was nothing pleasant about the chill in the woman's voice. Mumbling a response, Youngjae slipped into the car and rested his head against the window. At least the driver didn't feel the need to keep up a conversation beyond explaining that she was there at the behest of his uncle, who apologized for not being there himself. He had hoped to discuss some things with Youngjae, but things had come up at the last minute and his schedule had become full. From the one of her voice, Youngjae couldn't help but wonder if his uncle was busy running around attempting to appease the board members. It couldn't be only him who suspected they would immediately turn on Youngjae upon finding out that he was suspected of embezzling funds from the company.

     When they reached his hotel, Youngjae immediately headed for his room despite his uncle's driver offering to take him anywhere else he may like. After spending the entire day actively attempting to deflect the unspoken accusations of those around him, he was simply too tired to attempt anything beyond sleeping. After unlocking the door to his room, Youngjae kicked off his shoes to one of the dark corners and made a bee line for his bed. Not bothering to slip out of his clothes for the day, he collapsed onto the bed and almost immediately passed out, too worn down and stressed to make any attempt at anything but sleep.

 


Author's Note:

Well that was one heck of a horrific ending. Getting back into the swing of things was a lot harder than I expected, but I persevered and managed to put out something at least, hehe  School has officially concluded for the semester, which means that I will be able to update at least five times before having to go back for another semester (I hope to update on more than just weekends, though, so I can make more progress). Thank you to everyone who has waited patiently for the story to continue, and hopefully this wasn't too disappointed of a return >.<

 

((I was considering dropping the story since B.A.P is currently attempting to terminate their contracts- I hold out hope that they will find another company, though!- as this is what I've done with other stories in the past. None of these coughexocough stories were ever actually made available, though, so it's quite a bit different. Thus I will continue writing about B.A.P despite the current problems they face, and I hope everyone else will continue supporting them, too!))

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katgirl
[5/3] FINALLY hell week is over and I can get back into the swing of things. It might take me a while to put out updates at first, but I'll try my best! TT^TT

Comments

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Marymanou
#1
Ok hands down this is one of the most well written bap stories I ever read! Seriously the storyline, the detailed way you portray all the events as well as the character's personalities, just everything is so amazing~ It feels like reading an actual book hehe please keep up the good work authornim!
imanie93
#2
Chapter 44: i'm waiting for century~please update more~
katgirl
#3
So apparently I just do not have the ability to balance school and writing, especially now that I've started working more. I highly doubt I'll be able to put out any updates during this semester (AGAIN TT^TT), although I might be able to do some writing over Spring Break if I end up staying at home and not going on a road trip with friends. I'm really, REALLY sorry that this story keeps getting put onto the back burner, but the semester will be over at the end of April and I should be able to put out updates again. Until then, thank you for sticking around TT^TT
imanie93
#4
Chapter 43: Please update soon~I'm start addicted for this story~And I don't know why,I keep imagined Hei Ryung as Juniel~haha..
imanie93
#5
Chapter 41: I wonder if Youngjae had any feeling to Hei Ryung~
Dream_Weaver
#6
Chapter 43: Thanks for the update! I actually find myself relating to Hei-Ryung sometimes. I feel like we've all been in a situation where we've written a strongly-worded letter only to delete it before sending. I love how Hei-Ryung is letting her inner detective come out, too. Keep up the great work! :D
Scarierthanakitty
#7
Chapter 41: It's a shame this story isnt well known YET.. :c it's one of my favorite b.a.p fics!!! Thanks for updating :) Poor hei-ryung ..