"I'm sorry that I haven't been able to do much to help you lately. I've been trying to convince Mr. Go to let me start promoting your books, but he's insistent about me starting from the bottom like everyone else," Youngjae huffed as he paced in Hei-Ryung's living room. After letting himself in to her apartment, he had immediately launched into a long tirade about his employer and the struggles that came along with the new position. Hei-Ryung, who had been in the middle of writing when he burst in, had politely acknowledged his presence, made him a cup of tea, and then returned to typing away on her keyboard. So long as she occasionally hummed along in agreement with what he was saying, or made any sort of noise that suggested she was at least listening to parts of his complaints, the distressed heir was satisfied and wouldn't press for further participation. "I can't tell if he's on my side or not! One minute he's making me buy enough coffee to kill a person, and the next he's telling me how to kiss up to the shareholders. It's like he can't make up his mind about what he wants!" Throwing his arms in the air, Youngjae draped himself over Hei-Ryung's couch and let out an extended sigh of frustration.

     "I believe he may be going through the same struggle," Hei-Ryung reasoned, saving triplicate copies of her document to ensure it wouldn't be lost. "Mr. Go is firmly on the side of the company- he wants it to succeed and will support anything that will allow for this to happen. He's trying to figure out if you will fall into this category, or if you'll turn out to be a detriment to Nalgae." As she spoke, Hei-Ryung shut down her computer and made her way over to the coffee table, where Youngjae's empty mug rested.

     "How could anyone think I'd be a detriment to the company? I'm the nephew of the company's CEO and have shown nothing but interest in seeing the business succeed! Just because I came into the picture in an unusual- yes, please- way doesn't mean I'm trying to ruin Nalgae!" Youngjae complained, only stopping long enough to acknowledge Hei-Ryung when she questioningly held up his mug. Nodding, Hei-Ryung headed into the kitchen to pour more tea, leaving Youngjae to quietly mull over his own thoughts in the living area.

     Naturally, people would be suspicious of a young man who suddenly materialized from thin air and declared he wanted to become Nalgae's next CEO. If a low-level employee had come in and made such a bold declaration, everyone would only take it as a dream for the distant future. When Youngjae started talking about it, everyone became concerned about how near he planned on the future being. Especially when his uncle was so willing to hand over the company to, admittedly, a complete stranger. He wasn't the first employee to come out of nowhere and become an instant success, though. Straightening up, Youngjae watched Hei-Ryung's back as she waited patiently for the water to boil.

     How had she done it? How had someone like Hei-Ryung convinced an entire company that she wouldn't run them into the ground? It couldn't be because of Seulki's insistence on them giving her a chance, because even the company's CEO couldn't manage to convince everyone that Youngjae was a good idea. It couldn't even be because a published writer was a much smaller deal than future CEO, because if Youngjae had learned anything about this company it was that they treated every position as though it meant the life, or death, of Nalgae. If they hadn't seen something in her, they never would have allowed her to be published under them, and he doubted that Hei-Ryung had the charisma necessary to sell herself. She must have just done something that looked good to them, and if Youngjae could do the same...

     "When you first came to Nalgae, how did you convince them you would be good for the company?" He asked, making his way into the kitchen.

     "I don't know. Seulki helped me out a lot, so I guess you'd have to talk with her about-"

     "It wasn't Seulki, or Himchan, or anyone at the company. If my uncle isn't enough to convince them, I can't imagine any other employee would be able to," Youngjae interrupted, shaking his head as he leaned against the counter.

     Frowning thoughtfully, Hei-Ryung turned off the stove and started steeping the tea in the now-boiling water. "Well... perhaps they were just looking for writers at the time? If they were desperate enough at the time-"

     "Nalgae is one of South Korea's biggest publishing houses. I doubt they're ever desperate for anything but a break from the onslaught of prospective manuscripts."

     "Then maybe they just liked my writing? I don't know!" Defeated, Hei-Ryung threw her arms up in the air. "I am a writer, after all. I can't imagine there would be anything else that would convince them to hire me!"

     Silence descended upon the two once more as Hei-Ryung went back to preparing tea and Youngjae started thinking. It made sense that the only thing convincing enough to let Hei-Ryung into the company was a demonstration of her abilities and what she could bring to Nalgae. A big business didn't typically let people in because they felt bad for them, after all; the real world didn't work like the dramas on television. Nobody cared if your dreams were crushed to dust under the heel of a company so long as said company was making progress. It was how the world worked.

     The only thing he had to prove himself was Hei-Ryung, though, and she hadn't been making much progress. Certainly there had been a few successes, but they all were certainly overshadowed by the horrible failure of her first public appearance. The only way he could think to counteract her first book-signing's negativity would be to hold another event, though, and Hei-Ryung was most certainly not up for something like that. And unless he could get to the root of the problem, he didn't imagine she ever would be.

     "Just what happened to make you like this?" He mumbled, not intending for Hei-Ryung to overhear him. The apartment was so quiet that the dropping of a pin on thick shag carpet could have been heard, though. Turning to face Youngjae, Hei-Ryung handed him the tea.

     "What do you mean?" Her voice was taught, as though she were barely keeping it from breaking. Sipping at his tea, Youngjae snuck a look at Hei-Ryung's face over the rim and saw that she was nervous. He was venturing into dangerous territory, but he took the fact that she hadn't physically fled as permission to keep pressing.

     "I mean, why are you so scared? You're just fine with me, or Seulki, but when you get put in the middle of a group of people you start to lose it. Hermits or whatever people call you don't act like that- they're terrified of everyone. Yet you can behave just like anyone else when you try." And maybe that was it. Maybe Hei-Ryung just didn't want to try. Maybe there wasn't really anything wrong with her, and she was simply taking advantage of the lifestyle her nerves had landed her. Perhaps she wasn't deliberately exploiting things, but... Youngjae frowned and continue sipping his tea.

     "Why are you so scared?" There were a million reasons why Hei-Ryung was scared, and they all started with the words "What if". What if she were hurt? What if she were betrayed? What if she were the cause of someone else's pain? What if she were attacked? What if someone else died because of her? The list of what if's was unending, but it all coalesced into one moment; one person. Someone she didn't trust herself to think about, even if it meant allowing the pain to be buried in her heart indefinitely. A wound that had never healed.

     Yet, if she were to face it, would things get any better? Youngjae certainly seemed to think so. Maybe it was time to acknowledge what had happened in the past, and to stop being scared of it. To move forward, no matter how blasphemous it may seem.

     "Well, you see... I mean..." Where to begin, though? Explaining why she was scared was far more complicated than merely stating "Someone I cared about died because of me", because there was so much more to it than that. Chewing on her bottom lip, Hei-Ryung scoured her mind for the words necessary to explain things to Youngjae but, just as a narrative began to form in her mind, he moved on.

     "Not that it matters. Whatever might have happened in the past is over with. We need to focus on the present, instead." Crossing over to the sink, Youngjae started washing his mug out. "I mean, if you would just listen to me, we could sort through this no problem. I understand that I didn't know much about the company when I first came, but I've been doing nothing but learning since then and I really think I can help your career! You keep pushing me away, though. If you'd just listen, I could fix everything!"

     He wasn't being cruel. He really was trying to help her, and yet Hei-Ryung couldn't help but close off from him. For Youngjae, "everything" meant whatever was in the way of his becoming CEO. He had explained this to her at the very beginning, when they first met; she had known this entire time that she wasn't anything more than a temporary obstacle to him, and yet after spending so much time with him she had begun to let herself wonder. Now, though, it was apparent that Youngjae's relationship to her was strictly business. It wasn't that he didn't care, because she had seen that he did care quite a bit, but he didn't care about anything that wasn't directly related to his ascension of the corporate ladder.

     "I'm sorry," she mumbled, realizing that Youngjae was waiting for her to say something. "I'll try harder." Her eyes had begun to sting as tears threatened to start spilling over, but Hei-Ryung didn't want Youngjae to see her cry. She knew that it was her own fault for having taken things the wrong way. Youngjae was here to help her career, not to help her overcome her past. He didn't care about what had caused her to behave like a freak, and rightfully so; it wasn't his job to babysit her, or ride in on a white horse to rescue her. He was only here because he needed her; anything reciprocation of that neediness was to be ignored.

     "You're already trying hard enough." Youngjae could feel that something had changed, so, though he had no idea what it was, he immediately went into damage control. "We just need to find a way that will work best for you. We'll get there eventually, so don't let it weigh you down too much, alright? Rome wasn't built in a day, after all!"

     Seeing how hard Youngjae was trying, Hei-Ryung forced herself to put on her most-convincing smile. She didn't want him to feel guilty for something that wasn't his fault. She didn't trust herself to answer, though. Everything about her felt brittle, and she just knew that if she tried speaking her voice would break under the strain. Fortunately, Youngjae caught sight of the stove's digital clock and realized what time it was, thus forcing him to bring a quick end to the rapidly failing conversation.

     "I have a meeting I need to get to, so... are you going to be alright?" He couldn't bring himself to just leave Hei-Ryung there. She was noticeably upset, despite trying to hide her distress from him.

     "I'm fine, really," she reassured him, brushing off his concern and the urge to tell him that she was not, in fact, alright. He wasn't interested in what she was feeling, though he thought he was. If it had nothing to do with their business relationship, then she needed to keep shut. She was only going to get herself hurt if she didn't, after all. "You should get going. I can't imagine the board will take too kindly to your being late." Ushering Youngjae out the door, it took all of Hei-Ryung's willpower to not ask him to stay a little longer and... and do what? What could Youngjae do for her? It wasn't as though he was some sort of a genie who could swoop in, wave his hands, and make everything better for her. It was unfair for her to try pushing her problems onto him because of a horribly inaccurate belief that everyone else could magically make her life better.

     Still, being reminded of just how alone she was didn't hurt any less. The moment Youngjae was out the door, Hei-Ryung turned the lock and dropped to the floor right there. Biting back the sobs that threatened to almost painfully shake her body, she waited until she was sure Youngjae was gone before allowing herself to cry. It had been stupid of her to think that her relationship with Youngjae was anything more than strictly business.

     "And to think that I was actually going to tell him... he doesn't want to know! It isn't his problem! He doesn't care! I'm just desperate." Wrapping her arms around her knees, Hei-Ryung buried her face in the bony flesh and tried to push the past back down. She had let it get too close to the surface when she prepared to open up to Youngjae, and now it was festering all over again. It was reminding her of what happened the last time she let herself go and stopped worrying. If she didn't keep control of herself, she was going to end up hurting someone else.

     So it was better that she be the one who hurt.

     "Bang Yongguk!" Daehyun growled under his breath, pretending to throw a few punches at his musical partner. "You always complain that I show up late, and yet you don't even bother coming at all!"

     Ever since he had gotten himself a girlfriend, Yongguk had shown an entirely different side to him. While he had once been devoted to nothing but music, he suddenly was discovering that maybe there was more to life than composing and performing. For example, there was an interesting concept called 'dating' that, at least when Jieun had anything to say about it, could take precedence over practice, and involved turning off one's cell phone until two hours after said practice was supposed to have begun.

     Daehyun should have known something was wrong when he walked in ten minutes after the agreed upon time and hadn't been assaulted by a barrage of curses from his elder partner. If Yongguk hadn't shown up an hour early and already set everything up by the time Daehyun had gotten there, something was definitely wrong. Yet how was Daehyun supposed to know that Yongguk hadn't intended to show up at all! For the first time in their friendship, Daehyun hadn't received a single text or call from Yongguk explaining, in excessive depth, why he wouldn't be able to make it and what Daehyun should do with his time instead. Daehyun had always interpreted the suggested vocal exercises or equipment checking as going out to eat, though.

     Still steaming, Daehyun stepped off the apartment elevator. "I'm not even apologizing next time I'm late! I might not even show up at all! Then let's see how casual you feel about making me crawl out of bed at an ungodly hour for absolutely nothing! You will rue the day you-" Daehyun paused when he passed Hei-Ryung's apartment and heard crying. Slowing down, he froze uncertainly in front of her door. What exactly was one supposed to do when they overheard a friend crying, but were unsure of the cause. For all he knew, she could be sobbing over one of her dramas and would only be annoyed if he tried to check up on her. Inching closer to the door, Daehyun raised his hand hesitantly. It sounded like she was just on the other side, which meant that she wouldn't be able to see the television, and he didn't hear any other voices. Besides something upsetting her, the only other excuse Daehyun could think of was cutting onions, but people didn't usually sob quite so loudly when the fumes began to irritate their eyes, and vegetable chopping was a task not usually accomplished in one's doorstep.

     So he knocked. "Are you okay in there, Hei-Ryung?"

     For a brief moment, the crying stopped. Or, at the very least, got quiet enough for him to no longer be able to hear it through the door's thick metal.

     "I-I'm fine. Thank you for asking!" She certainly didn't sound fine. Sighing, Daehyun repeated his question. "Really, I'm alright!"

     "Can I come in?"

     She hesitated, but only for a second. "N-no, not today. I'm... busy."

     "Then I'll just wait here until you have a minute, okay?" He didn't have anywhere else to be at the moment, anyway. Sitting down on the floor, Daehyun rested his back against Hei-Ryung's door and started scrolling through his phone. There weren't any particular interesting games, so eventually Daehyun settled on a riddles game. Why he had decided to download such a ridiculous app was beyond him, though he imagined it might have had something to do with his habit of getting dead-drunk at odd hours of the night.

     He was able to muddle his way through the first through because of the massive collection of points he could devote to hints, but as the points dwindled he began to get stumped. "Hei-Ryung, what has ears but can't hear?" He asked through the door after staring hopelessly at the riddle for a few minutes.

     "Corn." Hurriedly inputting the answer, Daehyun was amazed to see that she had gotten it correct so quickly. Moving on to the next riddle, he was just starting to get somewhere when Hei-Ryung spoke up again: "Did I get it right?" Holding back the urge to laugh, Daehyun settled on a broad grin.

     "Yeah, you got it right. Now how about this one: Sitting down you have it, standing up you don't." Hei-Ryung's side of the door went silent as she thought about the answer. Patiently, Daehyun waited for her.

     "A lap?"

     "Correct!" As he imitated the numerous game show hosts he had watched on television, Daehyun swore he heard the faintest sound of laughter from Hei-Ryung. Smiling, he moved on to the next riddle. "What flowers have two lips?"

     "Tulips."

     "Yeah, two lips. Do you know the answer?"

     "Tulips." Daehyun assumed she must be thinking over the answer, so he followed suit and stared at the question. When nothing jumped out at him, he gave up and instead amused himself with forming images in the hallway's cracked ceiling. Just as he was concluding the epic tale of 'deformed rabbit and possibly a monkey', Hei-Ryung spoke up and interrupted the dynamic duos final battle against 'sort of looks like a giraffe'. "So... was that the answer?"

     "You know the answer?" Poising his thumbs over the phone's keyboard, he waited for Hei-Ryung.

     "Tulips!" She burst out, slightly frustrated and slightly amused. "Tu-lips!"

     "Two lips... two lips... tu... lips." Daehyun closed his eyes and took a moment to mourn the loss of any semblance of intelligence Hei-Ryung may have believed he possessed. "Tulips... yeah, that's right." Somehow, the small burst of colorful fireworks announcing the inputted answer was correct didn't feel very festive. "Anyway, next question!"

     They went through a couple more riddles that, fortunately, did not involve word play before Hei-Ryung opened the door for him. She did not, however, announced that this was her intention beforehand, so they both were quite startled when Daehyun suddenly fell backward onto her feet. Squealing in surprise, Hei-Ryung immediately burst into a string of apologies, but Daehyun was too occupied with laughing to assure her that he was fine. When they had both calmed down, Daehyun hurried onto his feet and took a good look at Hei-Ryung's condition.

     Her eyes were bright red, but otherwise she looked unharmed. Whatever had caused her to burst into tears had apparently not been physical harm, though Daehyun wasn't sure just how happy he should be about that. Whether somebody punched you in the face or in the heart didn't matter because, either way, it hurt. Sighing, he shoved his phone into his back pocket and waited for Hei-Ryung to rub away the remaining tears from her face.

     "Would you like to talk about it?"

     Though she was hesitant about it first, Daehyun soon had Hei-Ryung sitting comfortably on his couch while he made the both of them chocolate milk- the assumption being that chocolate makes people happy. She wasn't sitting for long, though, because as soon as she started talking she got to her feet and began pacing.

     "I just feel so stupid for thinking that we were anything more. I was just so desperate for someone to talk to that I forgot how uninterested Youngjae must be in my problems. I let myself get carried away by a fantasy." Sighing in defeat, Hei-Ryung reluctantly accepted the glass of chocolate milk Daehyun handed her and allowed herself to be guided back onto the couch. After making sure she was situated, Daehyun sat on the floor across from her.

     "You aren't stupid. Youngjae is just very... focused." That seemed like a good way to put Youngjae's tendency to stubbornly pursue one thing until the end of time while ignoring everything else in his life. If he was working toward a goal, Youngjae would walk through a burning building full of zombies without a second- possibly even a first- thought. "He didn't mean to hurt you."

     Hei-Ryung nodded mutely. She knew that Youngjae hadn't meant to come across as callous, but it didn't make things hurt any less. The ache in her heart wasn't going to go away because people told her that Youngjae hadn't meant to cause it in the first place; regardless of his intentions, Youngjae had proven that he had no intention of helping Hei-Ryung in the ways she had thought he would. It wasn't his fault, but that didn't make him any less the cause.

     "And... I can't change anything, you know. I can't come in and save you from whatever is hurting you. I can't... I can't make things better. I want to, I really do, but... I can't. Only you can fix whatever is going wrong. I'll still support you, though, and if you need someone to listen..." He obviously had no idea what to say, but that didn't stop Daehyun from putting forth an effort. "Really, if there's something you need to get off your chest, I'm all ears."

     It was a tempting offer, but Hei-Ryung had experienced enough of the pain associated with digging up past memories for one day. She didn't feel like opening up old wounds twice. "Thank you, but... I don't think I'll take you up on that offer just yet."

Author's Note:

So this chapter turned out a little more strange than I thought it would be... Oh well. Hopefully everyone still finds it to be enjoyable! ^-^