Hei-Ryung had finally gotten a full night's rest after two weeks of feeling on the verge of death, and yet here she was still being completely unproductive. Whatever illness she had contracted was long gone, and yet it was still plaguing her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't keep Seulki's last visit from encroaching into her thoughts and leaving a stark reminder that, though she may physically well, she would never be mentally well. She was lucky that her sickness hadn't turned more serious, because, even if she literally were at death's door, Hei-Ryung knew she would have never allowed Seulki to take her to the ambulance or, even worse, call an ambulance. She would have died before setting foot in those white-washed halls again, and that was not the healthiest mindset to have.

     She had spent the majority of the day thinking of how to confront her past and move beyond it, but everything had been shot down by the extreme reluctance she felt toward reopening these old wounds. Then, in order to justify how big of a baby she was being, Hei-Ryung had reasoned that she was doing perfectly fine and didn't need to change anything. Yes, maybe her life was a little more difficult than most, but that didn't mean she had to completely turn it upside down! If the sickness really were killing her, she would have eventually become weak enough that Seulki could force her to go to the hospital no matter how much Hei-Ryung verbally protested, so it wasn't as though her life was really-

     "That's a bad thing! It is a bad thing that I have to literally be dying before I'll take care of myself!" Slamming her fists against the mattress, Hei-Ryung snapped her eyes open and glared up at her darkened ceiling. Outside, she could only faintly hear the sounds of a city that never slept, which would suggest that it was late enough for the majority of the population to be contradicting their city's sleeping habits. This was confirmed by the softly glowing numbers on her alarm clock. It was already three o'clock in the morning. She had been lying in bed thinking about this for hours now, and nothing had been accomplished. All she had done was rumple her sheets and caused herself to get a headache from thinking about all this so much. "This is ridiculous. I'm being ridiculous. It's over! There's nothing I can do to change it! So why can't I move on? Why can't I stop being so stupid and just..." Groaning, Hei-Ryung rolled onto her side and curled into a ball.

     "It isn't stupid. I'm not stupid. What happened was... it was horrible. And if anyone else were struggling with this, you wouldn't be giving them nearly as hard of a time. You're only being like this because you've convinced yourself that you're some sort of freak... Not that talking to myself in the third person suggests otherwise," laughing dryly, Hei-Ryung tightened the grip she had on her waist and stared blankly ahead. "It's just easier when I'm not talking about myself. I can go on for pages and pages about pain and suffering when writing my books, and yet one little thing happens to me and I..." The wheels in her head began to turn as Hei-Ryung thought over what she had said. Slowly, the pieces came together, and once she had a solid plan Hei-Ryung rolled out of bed and marched to her writing desk.

     After searching through the stacks of papers she kept piled haphazardly, Hei-Ryung pulled out a fresh notebook that had been buried and nearly-forgotten and flipped it open to the first page. Normally she would do all her writing on the computer, but the device was impractical for what she had in mind. Sitting down, Hei-Ryung found a mostly sharpened pencil and prepared to write a story. It would be like all her other stories, except for a few differences. This girl wasn't perfect in every way- she was messed up beyond belief and had very little hope of ever being 'normal' again- and she wasn't going to get a happy ending.

     "I'm a writer. If this doesn't work, then I'll resolve myself to my fate and live the life of a freak until the day I die. But I suppose I have to at least try to change that fate." Sighing, Hei-Ryung started scratching out the first word, but the moment she put down 'I' she scratched it out. Even just that little bit hurt, and she didn't fancy spending the next few hours with a gaping, throbbing hole in her heart. Exactly how was she supposed to write this story down if she couldn't refer to herself, though?

     "Hei-Ryung. This is a story about Hei-Ryung." It didn't make sense, but as she wrote her own name down, Hei-Ryung felt the pain subside just a little. This was no longer her story; this was some other girl's story.

     Hei-Ryung had thought she was doing the right thing when she approached the school's faculty about Sunhwa's problem, but considering how awful things had become, it certainly didn't feel like it. She had hoped that everyone would just forget about what happened over the break, that the absolute fury they felt toward her for ratting out Sunhwa would cool down as they spent more time away from her, but when she came back to start her second year of high school Hei-Ryung quickly realized that they weren't lashing out at her because they were angry. It was a game for them. They were having fun. And until some other poor soul appeared, they were going to keep amusing themselves with her pain.

     Or, maybe, she had doomed herself for eternity.

     Clenching her jaw to keep her tears back, Hei-Ryung stared hollowly at the writing on her desk. No two phrases looked alike, either in color or style, which suggested that multiple students had participated in the vandalization of her property. The longer she stood there, the harder it was for her classmates to hold back their laughter. As they sniggered and whispered amongst one another, Hei-Ryung could feel their eyes boring into her, waiting to see what her reaction was going to be. They wanted to see her cry or get angry, but she wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

    We don't need bullies like you

     Get lost!

     You'd better watch your back

     Dirty traitor!

     Scum!

     I dare you to go jump off the roof of the building!

     Kill Yourself!

     Die!

     They had even signed it "From the whole class".

     Maybe there were one or two people who were watching this with disgust. Maybe somebody in the growing crowd of smirking students didn't agree, but was too afraid to speak against the majority. Maybe she wasn't alone, but as she stood there and stared at her desk- the only place she could look without making eye contact with one of her peers- it certainly didn't feel like it. Not even her parents were willing to help. When she had asked them to transfer her to a new school, or to speak with the administration, they had brushed it off and insisted she wasn't there to make friends. They had sent their daughter to one of the best schools in the area because they wanted her to get an education, so who cared if she wasn't like by her peers?

     "Nobody. Nobody cares, and nobody ever will." Swallowing hard, Hei-Ryung abandoned her bag at the foot of her desk and, keeping her head down, shuffled her way between the crowd that was all too willing to part. She wasn't go to let them see her cry; she didn't want them to know just how deeply their words had cut. In fact, the only thing she wanted them to know was the fact that they, and no one else, had driven someone to their death.

     Because Hei-Ryung was done. Nobody would care if she died, so why not give them the satisfaction? Why not do exactly as they said, and throw herself off the roof of the school? Would that make them happy? Would they stop then? Would they no longer need to see her suffer for their enjoyment? Or would they start holding séances to try and bring back her ghost? Was she never going to be able to escape them? Was she doomed to a life of misery the minute she opened ?

     "I was only trying to help! I thought I was doing the right thing! Sunhwa was sick and she wasn't getting better! I-" Hei-Ryung's thoughts came to an abrupt stop when the classroom door suddenly slid open. Surprised, she stumbled back a few steps. Had she done that? Had she used her mind to open that door? Had she already killed herself and become a ghost, but even in death she was forced to replay her miserable life? Deflating, Hei-Ryung's shoulders drooped at the thought. Was she never going to be able to escape this?

     "Oh, sorry, did you need to go out?" Again, Hei-Ryung was caught off guard, but with the unexpected voice came a wave of relief. Someone had been on the other side of the door. They were the one who opened it; she wasn't dead.

     "Which means I still have a chance at getting away." It was a gruesome thought, and the longer Hei-Ryung dwelled on it the more she questioned if what she was doing was right. Hadn't she just said she didn't want to give her classmates any satisfaction? Except, it wasn't just them who would be satisfied. If she didn't have to live with this anymore, Hei-Ryung would be more than happy.

     "Yes? No? Hello?" Blinking, Hei-Ryung removed herself from the back of her mind and firmly placed her consciousness in the present moment. Somebody was waving their hand in front of her face, startling her once again. "You back with us?" Chuckling, the young man withdrew his hand and smiled expectantly down at Hei-Ryung. Tilting her head back to look the student in the eye- the guy was an absolute giant- Hei-Ryung nodded mutely. "Good. You're going to get run over if you stand in the doorway like that." And with that, he walked into the classroom and tossed his bag underneath the nearest vacant desk. Leaning back in his seat, he propped his feet up onto the desktop and fished out a set of ear buds from his pocket.

     Hei-Ryung didn't recognize him as a member of their class, but regardless of why this newcomer was there, he had garnered the attention of every student in the room. Taking advantage of this, Hei-Ryung ducked out of the classroom and headed for the roof. The door's lock had broken at the end of the previous year and Hei-Ryung knew for a fact that it hadn't been fixed yet. The school may have ranked in the top twenty-five when it came to academics, but they severely lacked in all other areas. The school wouldn't worry about Hei-Ryung's desk, either. In fact, they would blame her for the defacement of public property and throw her in detention for a few hours after school.

     Yet another reason why she would rather not be here for much longer. It seemed that no matter how obvious her peers were, the blame was always pinned onto Hei-Ryung. When her things were soaked through, the school suggested that she had left an open water bottle inside and she had been told off for her 'carelessness'. When she was locked in the gym closet overnight, she was accused of trespassing. When she had tried to defend herself from one of the regular beatings, the school had tried to call the police on her for attacking another student.

     Maybe they truly were blind to the entire situation, but Hei-Ryung suspected it was worse than that. More likely than not, they were simply trying to get rid of the problem in the simplest way possible. After all, it would be much easier to expel one student, and hope the others didn't choose a new target, than to try and find and punish the dozens that were the actual cause of the problem. Unfortunately for the school, this had only emboldened Hei-Ryung's aggressors and things had continued to get worse. Now, though, she would finally be out of their hair, and she was certain they would come up with some bull excuse for why she had thrown herself off the roof of their 'fine establishment'. Perhaps the stress of getting good grades became too much, or, if they really wanted to go for it, she was afflicted by a mental illness that, tragically, no one had known about until it was too late. Heck, maybe the cause was as simple as 'she wasn't where she was supposed to be and accidentally fell off'. That would certainly be a good lesson for future students on why they should stay in line.

     Scoffing in disgust at how her death would be explained, Hei-Ryung pushed open the roof's door and stepped out into the fresh air. Unlike in the books she read, the weather was clear and the sky was bright. A slight breeze kept the air moving and prevented the sun from warming things up too much, leading to a comfortable, beautiful day. Not even Mother Nature cared that she was about to die.

     Slowly, Hei-Ryung tiptoed her way to the roof's edge, glancing over her shoulder every few steps to see if someone was coming. Even she didn't know if this was because she didn't want to get caught, or because she wanted someone to stop her. Right now, she didn't know much of anything, except that she was sick of being miserable and wanted it to be over. And this seemed to be the only way to do that.

     It was a long way down to the ground; longer than Hei-Ryung had imagined. Yet, it probably wouldn't take that long for her to reach the bottom. A falling body wasn't like the coloring leaves, after all. It was much heavier, making gravity that much greedier when it came to dragging it down. She wouldn't feel pain, and everything would finally come to an end. Maybe somebody out there would be sad when she was gone, but Hei-Ryung figured that was mostly wishful thinking. If anybody had cared about what happened to her, they would have spoken up long ago.

     Swallowing hard, she inched her way closer to the edge and hovered one foot out into the open air. When she felt herself begin to teeter, she gasped and flailed her arms, barely managing to catch her balance and stop from pitching forward. Breathing hard, she sat down heavily and decided to wait for her heart rate to slow down before risking another look.

     Wasn't risking her life the point of all this, though? She wasn't up here for an adrenaline rush- she was here to die. Falling off the roof was why she was even up here in the first place, and yet here she was trying to stop it from happening. Did that mean she cared more about living than she had initially thought? Or was it just that she was a coward and couldn't bring herself to do it? Either way, it didn't matter. She had come up here with a purpose and she wasn't going to leave until that purpose was fulfilled. Shakily rising to her feet, Hei-Ryung tried her best to convince herself she wasn't frightened and cautiously approached the edge of the roof. Leaning forward ever-so-slightly, she peered down at the drop and guessed at how long it would take her to fall. Two seconds? Ten? Thirty? So long as it weren't long enough for her to think about what she was doing, Hei-Ryung would be okay. Because as much as she wanted to die in that moment, the thought of permanently ending her life was still frightening. She didn't want too much time to mull it over.

     "Maybe closing my eyes will help," she thought, clutching nervously at the hem of her uniform's skirt before shutting her eyes tightly. It only made things worse, though, and before she lost her balance and unexpectedly went tumbling off the roof, Hei-Ryung snapped her eyes open again. Trembling, she began to move one foot out over the edge, but halted mid-step when the door slammed open and someone came running onto the roof. Freezing into place, Hei-Ryung waited for whoever had joined her to make the first move, because she certainly had no idea how to explain away the fact that she was walking off a four story building.

     "Are you Cha Hei-Ryung?" He sounded out of breath, as though he had run all the way to the roof. Slowly setting her foot back down, Hei-Ryung turned just enough to see who was addressing her, and was surprised to see it was the boy from earlier. Doubled over and panting, he was focused intently on Hei-Ryung's ever movement; as though he knew what she had been planning to do and was prepared to intervene should she choose to continue. Looking away, Hei-Ryung nodded once. "Listen, you really don't want to-" As he spoke, the boy began to approach Hei-Ryung, who briefly forgot there was nowhere for her to go and tried to back away. Reeling as her foot landed on nothing but air, Hei-Ryung barely managed to stumble her way forward and back onto the roof. She landed on her knees, and remained there as the boy, who looked absolutely stricken by what had almost occurred, continued approaching her.

     "Stay away," she muttered, unable to look up at him. He didn't listen, though, and continue to slowly draw closer. "I said stay away! I'll jump if you come any closer!" Leaping to her feet, Hei-Ryung extended one foot into mid-air and immediately brought the boy to a halt. After a moment's silence passed between the two of them, he took a few steps back and Hei-Ryung returned her foot to solid ground.

     "Don't jump. Not until I get back. If you want to jump after that, alright. It's not like I can stop you. But you have to wait for me to come back, okay? Promise?" He was in no position to be making deals with Hei-Ryung, and yet she felt herself unwittingly nodding in agreement with his proposition. "Alright. Just... wait there," he seemed to be speaking to himself more than he was to Hei-Ryung as he turned and jogged back into the building. Sighing, Hei-Ryung watched him leave and then knelt at the edge of the roof, her back facing the drop. She would wait for him- she had made a promise, and the concrete below would still be there when he got back- but she didn't expect that anything he, or anyone, would have anything to say that would change her mind.

     With no device for measuring time on her, Hei-Ryung had no way of knowing how long it took him to get back, but it was long enough that Hei-Ryung began to wonder if his strategy was to just leave her up there all day and hope she cooled off. If it were, it was certainly working, because she longer she felt the subtle tug of the drop behind her, the more Hei-Ryung began to doubt if she was doing the right thing. The boy did come back, though, and he didn't come alone. Raising her eyebrows, Hei-Ryung watched him manhandle two of her classmates through the door. He had a firm grip on both their collars as he dragged them, protesting the whole way, toward Hei-Ryung. Blinking, she remained where she knelt and blankly watched as the two were tossed to the ground a few feet in front of her.

     "Apologize." Hei-Ryung's eyes snapped to the new boy as he spoke. He had a purpling bruise on his jaw, and the corner of his lip appeared to have been split, but the two boys in front of him had gotten the worst of it. Still, neither of them were willing to apologize- though for what, Hei-Ryung wasn't sure. Lowering her eyes, Hei-Ryung let out a quiet sigh and waited for this spectacle to be over so she could go ahead with what she had intended in the first place. Perhaps it was a stupid idea, but at the moment, it was her only idea. There simply were no other options. "I said-"

     "Alright, we're sorry!" One of the boys yelped, interrupting the newcomer before he could finish his threat. "We're the ones who told everyone to write on your desk! It was just a joke, though. We didn't think you'd be stupid enough-" he was cut off when his friend, who apparently was the brains of their operation, cuffed him over the back of the head and jerked his chin in the direction of the boy behind them, who had balled his fists up.

     "We're sorry." Both classmates spoke at the same time, hanging their heads low and avoiding looking directly at Hei-Ryung. Blinking, she opened to answer, but couldn't seem to find any words. Seeing that Hei-Ryung had nothing to say, the newcomer grabbed both boys by their collars, hoisted them off the ground, and shoved them in the direction of the door. Taking this opportunity, both made a break for their salvation, though not before glancing back at Hei-Ryung. She wished she hadn't watched them flee, because the look she caught them giving her promised that things would only get worse from here. Quickly, Hei-Ryung lowered her eyes again and waited for the door to slam shut behind the two boys.

     "Do you still want to jump?"

     "No, but I have to."

     "Why?"

     "Because that's not the end of it. Those two apologizing won't fix anything. I'll come back tomorrow, and everything will still be the same. The only way things will change is if I don't come back."

     "And what will happen if you jump? Do you think you'll be happy?"

     Hei-Ryung remained silent. She had initially thought she would be happy if she jumped, but the longer she sat there the more she questioned it. "I won't be unhappy."

     "There are a lot of things you can be that aren't unhappy. Like angry, and I don't need an angry ghost haunting my new school." Despite herself, Hei-Ryung couldn't help but smile. "I'm going back to class. You do what you feel you need to." Surprised that he was dropping things so easily, Hei-Ryung looked up and watched the boy's back as he headed for the door. Before he headed inside, though, he glanced over at her. "But you should know that there are people who will care if you die."

     Although she was late to class, Hei-Ryung did return. When she entered, the teacher scolded her for not coming on time but didn't push any further. Her desk was still defaced, but there were definite signs that someone had been trying to scrub away the words. Glancing around as she took her seat, Hei-Ryung noticed the two boys who had apologized earlier had colorful stains on their hands. Maybe they had been the ones to try and clean it up. She quickly looked away before they could catch her staring and flipped open her textbook, but before she could find her place she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Reluctantly turning to see who was trying to get her attention, she noticed the newcomer had switched his seat to the one behind her.

     "Mind if I share?" He mouthed, pointing to her textbook. Unsure of what to say, Hei-Ryung settled for a nod and quietly moved her desk so there would be room for them both to sit side-by-side. Grinning, the boy lifted his own desk with ease and settled it down beside Hei-Ryung's. Bending over her notebook, Hei-Ryung tried to concentrate on her work, but her eyes kept drifting over to the boy sitting next to her. After a few minutes, her eyes drifted to the top of his paper, where she read his name: Choi Junhong.

     It was a name she found herself saying often, because as time went on, the two continued to grow closer. Without every officially saying it, they became friends, and the bullying began to diminish. Though there were some who continued to target Hei-Ryung, it only took a few times of Junhong 'explaining' things to them before she was able to walk down the school's halls without worrying about something happening. He never told her why he had decided to stick up for her that first day, and Hei-Ryung had never pried. She didn't need to, anyway, because it didn't matter to her why he had done it. All that mattered was that, by some miracle, Junhong had come into her life and made things change. He had made things better.

     For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Hei-Ryung felt that things were, if not perfect, then as near to perfection as they could possibly be. Everything was, finally, alright. Perhaps it was because she was so caught up in this fantasy that she didn't notice the imperfections that hovered at the edge and waited to shatter the brief moment of peace she had found.

Author's Note:

That last paragraph was cheesy... But I labeled this story as fluff (though it's seriously starting to not feel like that anymore) so I guess it doesn't really matter! Since I didn't want to tackle all of Hei-Ryung's story (speaking of which, does how I'm telling it make sense? I HATE writing in first person, so I tried to avoid it... but this may just be really weird) in one chapter, I figured I'd get the beginning stuff out of the way and get to the root of her problems in the next one. Hopefully it's not a big disappointment that not much happened in this chapter...

And thank you to everyone for reading DDTTD! <3