The rain pattered softly against Hei-Ryung's window, creating winding trails of watery rivulets that coalesced at the bottom and created a small puddle. Floating inside the puddle were a variety of twigs, small leaves, and dead bugs. Outside, the worms had begun to crawl their way out of the cracks in the concrete and created an obstacle course for the people attempting to navigate through the crowds. She was sure that several of the worms would be squished under foot and then, their murdered disgusted by the bits of worm guts on the sole of their shoe, mercilessly scraped against the pavement and turned into a brown blemish. Those that survived the onslaught of people, determined to run their errands despite the poor weather, would continue making their homes on the sidewalk until the sun came out and dried them up. No matter what, any worms that decided to abandon their earthy homes would end up dead by tomorrow. None of them would survive their excursion into the outside world.

     "I am a worm." Staring blankly out her window at the endless gray sky- one giant storm cloud that had spread itself over all of Seoul- Hei-Ryung wondered if maybe some people, like the worms, just weren't meant to leave behind what they had been given. She had been given a job she loved, was living in a nice apartment that she didn't have to pay for, and was surrounded by people who... had pulses. Sighing, Hei-Ryung lowered her eyes and stretched out on the couch. Seulki was kind, but she saw Hei-Ryung as a part of her job- an enjoyable part, but still just one of the many things in her job description. Youngjae... she didn't even want to think about him. He hadn't called or been to see her since his last visit, and she was certain that it was because he hated her. Why else would he have... not that it mattered. Youngjae definitely didn't see her as anything special. Daehyun and Jongup were also very kind, but she didn't know either of the boys very well and knew that they saw her as nothing more than an acquaintance. Even her parents had given up on her a long time ago.

     Where had she gone wrong? Had it been helping Sunhwa that did this to her? The bullying had been horrible, and sometimes Hei-Ryung had felt like she would snap under the pressure, but she had always managed to endure it. She hadn't been like this back then, even when things were at their worst. Had it been agreeing to work for Nalgae? The company had always supported her until recently, but her problems had persisted since before then. It couldn't be the company that had caused her life to spiral out of control like this, even though recent events hadn't helped in fixing anything. It had to have been something that happened between those two events. Or someone: someone who had walked into her life entirely unexpectedly and, through some magic, made everything better. Someone who had been there for her and protected her from the world that had turned against her. Someone who had every right to hate her, because of what she-

     The doorbell rang.

     Rubbing away the tears that had gathered on her cheeks, Hei-Ryung sat up and cautiously peeked over the couch. Seulki would have called in advance if she planned on visiting and Youngjae was still upset with her, so it couldn't be either of them. The visitor would be much more vocal about their presence if it were Mrs. Hong, and Hei-Ryung had paid her bills, so the landlord shouldn't have anything to say. She supposed it could be Daehyun, but he didn't have any reason to visit her.

     Except for the food she had left on his doorstep. He might have a few things to say about that.

     "Just a minute!" She was still in her pajamas, her hair was a mess, she hadn't brushed her teeth, and to top it all of her eyes were red and puffy from crying just now. "J-Just a minute!" Her brain was running on auto pilot as Hei-Ryung sat stiffly on her couch, staring at the door as though it were an incoming car. Abandoning the doorbell, Daehyun instead focused on knocking. "Just a minute!" The panic switch embedded somewhere in Hei-Ryung's brain flipped, and she immediately flew off the couch. Dashing into her bedroom, she slammed the door behind her and frantically looked around for something decent to wear. She had gotten so wrapped up in her writing lately, though, and doing laundry- among several other household chores- had never crossed her mind. So she pounced on the hamper she kept tucked in a corner and tugged out a few articles of clothing that sat on the top. She had worn the exact same outfit yesterday, but nobody had really seen her.

     After squirming her way into the clothes as quickly as she could, Hei-Ryung dashed into her bathroom and attempted to simultaneously brush her teeth and hair. The effort was a waste, though, because as soon as she got one hand working at a fever pitch, the other became confused and forgot how to properly function. Eventually, she settled on doing one task at a time. The doorbell rang again, so Hei-Ryung gave up on trying to think of a solution for her eyes. Hurrying out of the bathroom, she practically flew to the door and ripped it open.

     "I'm sorry! I wasn't-" Hei-Ryung's voice caught in . It wasn't Daehyun at her door.

     After nearly a minute of tense silence had passed, Youngjae decided to say something: "Can I come in?" When he moved to step in, Hei-Ryung almost began to shut the door in his face. Raising an eyebrow, Youngjae froze and watched Hei-Ryung carefully. She was trembling slightly. "I guess she hasn't gotten over what happened last time," he thought, averting his eyes in embarrassment. He had been completely out of line when he had last seen her, but Youngjae had been counting on the fact that Hei-Ryung would be quick to forgive him. After all, it wasn't like she had very many other people in her life and could afford to chase away the ones that did bother to stick around.

     "I need to stop having so many meetings to Ji Suk." The 'Great Business Man' had been rubbing off on him far too much. "I'm sorry. When I was here last, things got out of hand and I-"

     "You can come in." Although she still looked visibly upset by him being there, Hei-Ryung stepped aside to let Youngjae in. Nodding, he avoided looking her in the eye- she had been crying, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was because of him- and quickly shuffled inside. After gently shutting the door behind him, Hei-Ryung went to the couch and left Youngjae to take off his shoes. She didn't make it very far, though. "I've sent some pages to Seulki, and she thinks that this next book will work out!" Spinning around, Hei-Ryung bunched the hem of her shirt in her hands and began rattling off about the book. "There are some kinks that Seulki has asked me to work out, so I'm going to be fixing those before moving on! I'll work hard to get them done quickly, though, and I should be able to have the final draft ready some time..." Despite being willing to explain what was going on at first, Hei-Ryung had become reluctant to continue with her update. Obviously, she felt that the predicted time frame was going to upset him.

     "Next year, right? Ms. Lee already told me," Youngjae filled in, carefully arranging his shoes so that they lined up neatly. "I realized that there is very little I know about the publishing and writing business, so I asked her to explain how the process works. Evidently, there is a lot more to your job then I had expected," straightening his back, he clasped his hands behind his back and humbly addressed Hei-Ryung, "I am sorry for the things I said to you. I was ignorant, but behaved as though I knew everything, and that led to you getting hurt. I know it may be hard for you to forgive me, but I hope that we may at least continue to work together." He had practiced everything in the taxi here, even so far as perfecting his bow.

     "It's okay." Smiling dismissively, Hei-Ryung gestured for Youngjae to follow her into the living room. She didn't sound alright. Sighing, Youngjae scratched at the back of his head and wondered how exactly he was going to explain to her the company's new marketing strategy for her latest book. He had only known Hei-Ryung for three months, but that had been long enough to know she wouldn't be happy about what he had come to tell her.

     Once they were settled- Youngjae on the couch and Hei-Ryung on her desk chair- he pulled a thin binder out of the briefcase he carried and held it out to Hei-Ryung. Curiously, she accepted and began flipping through the pages, her face darkening each time she read something new. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to do this." Shaking her head, she handed the binder back to Youngjae.

     "We've already set up the website and made the announcement through several book store e-mail lists. We've also paid for advertising space on some of the more popular websites, and hope to be able to put up a few posters around Seoul and a couple other cities." As he spoke, Youngjae could see Hei-Ryung growing more and more agitated. Eventually, she gave up on trying to sit still and began pacing the room. "I wanted to tell you beforehand, but... couldn't find the time." He didn't like lying to Hei-Ryung, but he didn't want her believing that the company was deliberately keeping her in the dark just so they could use her however they saw fit- even though that was exactly what Ji Suk was doing.

     "They were never this passionate about advertising my actual books," Hei-Ryung complained, frowning down at Youngjae. "I should be writing, not playing love doctor for a bunch of teenage girls who have most likely never opened a book before! This is a waste of my time!"

     "You're writing isn't what brings in money," Youngjae pointed out, though he immediately regretted it. Flushing, he tried to avoid Hei-Ryung's incredulous stare. "I just mean that we need to get your name out into the public. People are more inclined to buy a book if the author's name stands out as one they've heard before." Standing, he gestured for Hei-Ryung to follow him to her computer. "If people know who you are, they want to buy your book. It's the same business model for idols, actors-"

     "I'm not an idol or an actor, though! I'm a writer, and that's what I want people to know me for! I don't want the nation to know all about me! If I did, I would be writing egotistical autobiographies instead!" As she protested, Hei-Ryung sat down at her desk and watched Youngjae turn the power on for her. She hated what the company was trying to turn her into, but she couldn't say no and walk away. It was Nalgae that gave her a paycheck and a place to live- without either of those, she would be sunk.

     "Just look through a few, alright? You don't have to answer every single question- that defeats the purpose, actually," Youngjae coaxed, reaching around Hei-Ryung and typing in the address. What popped up was a nauseating pepto bismal pink page decorated with hearts. "What the hell were they thinking?" Shocked by the monstrosity Nalgae's marketing department had created, Youngjae couldn't stop himself from letting out an honest reaction. Giggling because he had just said exactly what was on her mind, Hei-Ryung began entering the information Youngjae had written down for her and tried to ignore the puppies and kittens peeking out from behind the log-in box.

     "So, what exactly is the purpose of turning my writing into a joke?" Avoiding the flashing red icons meant to entice the people who hadn't already fled the website into asking questions, Hei-Ryung instead clicked on the administrator link and was, fortunately, taken to a more mellow page. Though the hearts and horrific shade of pink still existed, they were in minute doses and, compared to the previous horror, actually served to make the page attractive.

     "I promise I'll address this the next time I'm at the company. We might also have to run a few drugs tests on our employees." Shaking his head, Youngjae pointed to where the inbox could be found. Since its launch, the website hadn't seen much interest from the general population, but those who were already fans of Hei-Ryung's work had stopped by and left a few questions for her to peruse over. Most of the titles contained hearts and multiple exclamation points, but some were tamed down enough that Hei-Ryung trusted them enough to at least open the message and read it through. Most of the time she was disappointed, though.

     After thirty minutes of scrolling through meaningless questions about what to wear and how to behave in order to attract boys, Youngjae had lost interest and made himself comfortable on the couch. After surfing through the channels, he settled on an infomercial. Rolling her eyes, Hei-Ryung blocked out the obnoxiously repetitive catch phrase and focused intently on the messages she was supposed to be answering. All she needed to do was find one that she would have enough interest in to properly respond, and she would be done. Just one in this ocean, spread incredibly far but with little substance to it. More like a giant puddle, really.

     How do you approach someone you don't stand a chance of being with?

     Clicking on the question, Hei-Ryung opened up the message in its entirety. Decent grammar and punctuation, though there were a few errors here or there that indicated the girl hadn't gone through and edited her message- understandable, of course. Besides, there was a name included that caught Hei-Ryung's attention.

     I'm not really the type of girl one would expect to be interested in underground rapping- I always stand out amongst the usual crowd whenever I go to a performance- but there's something about this one particular artist- Jepp Blackman- that I just can't get out of my head. He's charismatic and talented, and he inspired me to follow my musical desires as well. For a long time I've just been a fan of his, but recently I feel like there's more than just his music that I'm attracted to. I really like him, and feel like I could love him if I got the chance. We've never spoken before, and I know that, if he even knows I exist, he will only see me as just another fan. How am I supposed to approach someone I don't stand a chance of being with?

     -a Song without her melody, Jieun

     The signature was a rather unfortunate attempt to give her name without saying it outright, but putting that aside, Hei-Ryung actually found herself interested in the message. Besides, it involved someone that she had met before. Resting her chin in her hands, Hei-Ryung tried to recall who was in the audience when she went to see Daehyun and Yongguk perform, and if anyone had stood out as not belonging there. Compared to herself, everyone had seemed like they belonged there, though. Besides, it didn't really matter if she could put a face to Jieun. All she needed to do was write a response.

     What, exactly, was she supposed to say, though? It was easy to create the perfect romance in her writing because she could dictate, or at least predict, how both sides of the couple would interact and react. She barely knew Jieun, though, and had only briefly met Yongguk. She was standing blindly at the beginning of all this, and Jieun's delicate feelings were laid out before her. If she simply stumbled callously through, it would only end up causing pain.

     "Daehyun knows him more than I do, maybe I should ask him what to say... not that Youngjae would let me out. I'm the one who is supposed to be answering these." Sighing quietly, Hei-Ryung glanced over her shoulder at Youngjae. His eyes had glazed over as boredom took over, leaving him completely dead to the world. She didn't want to risk sneaking past him, though, and there wasn't even any guarantee that Daehyun would be home.

     She was going to have to stumble forward and hope for the best.

     There are two types of fans: those who are genuinely interested in the music, and those who are interested in the person producing the music. Neither type is wrong, and sometimes one person can contain bits of both, but artists are more likely to respond positively and openly to a fan who approaches them about their music. Approach him after a performance as a fan- since that is what you are- but don't fawn over him. Praise him for his music and try to find common ground there, seeing as you also share his interest in the subject. You two may leave as only acquaintances, but at least you've introduced yourself and left an impression. There is no moment of attraction, where the two make eye contact and sparks fly, in the real world; all you can do is be patient and wait for the relationship to develop on its own.

     -good luck, Cha Hei-Ryung

     At first, Youngjae didn't think much about Hei-Ryung announcing that she would in the bathroom if he needed anything. All people, even women, had to answer the call of nature on occasion, and besides, he had heard her typing. So long as she was doing her job, he didn't intend to dictate what she could or couldn't do; he wasn't a slave-driver. When she had been gone for nearly twenty minutes, though, Youngjae began to worry. After checking on her, he had to play twenty-million questions to try and figure out what had upset her so much that she felt the need to lock herself in the bathroom.

     "I used my name when I signed the answer!" She wailed, eventually breaking down into sobs. "Everyone is going to know who I really am! I'm a stupid worm who left the dirt!" He didn't understand why she was comparing herself to a worm, but Youngjae didn't allow himself to dwell on the odd metaphor for long.

     "All the questions and answers are kept strictly between the sender and you- we don't publish anything. You don't have anything to worry about, okay?"

     It was not okay, though. Despite being reassured by Youngjae's insistence that nobody besides the girl she answered finding out, Hei-Ryung remained inconsolable and refused to leave her bathroom. So, not seeing what else he could do, Youngjae left her apartment and hoped that Hei-Ryung would be able to calm down on her own.

Author's Note

Has anyone actually listened to some of Yongguk's music from pre-debut? I'm not usually one for rap/hip-hop (so it's rather ironic that I'm a die-hard Baby), but I'm really enjoying his past work. I couldn't stop listening to I'm Ballin' and can't seem to stop! If you haven't listened to it yet, I highly suggest you check it out! ^-^

Oh, and these next few chapters are kind of just filler until I decide where the story should go next. Kind of a lull before more major stuff happens (like filler arcs in Anime, hehe) So sorry about that! Hopefully it's still enjoyable!