We were both silent on the way back home.

 

My mind kept replaying the scene just now.

 

‘What did he do to you again? That bastard hurt you again didn’t he!’

 

What Siwon had said got stuck on my mind. Again?

 

My Hyukkie would never do that to me. What exactly happened?

 

I sighed. My head began to hurt. For real this time.

 

I’m worried about Hyukkie’s condition now. How is he? Is he injuried? I saw so many broken glasses on the floor.

 

‘What did he do to you again? That bastard hurt you again didn’t he!’

 

What did that mean?

 

Why couldn’t I remember anything?

 

I turned to Siwon who was concentrating on the road ahead.

 

‘We didn’t do anything last night.’

 

Siwon ignored what I just said. I could sense that he was still rather pissed off.

 

‘I went to the party and saw him. I was the one who approached him-‘ I tried to explain.

 

‘I know. So stop repeating.’

 

He knew?

 

How?

 

Right. He did say he had people spying on Hyukkie.

 

‘Why do you spy on Hyukkie.’

 

‘Stop calling him that!’

 

‘Why do you spy on him?’ I pressed further and he suddenly jammed brake. I had to brace myself by putting my arms forward.

 

He covered his eyes with his arm and leaned back. He looked like he had just lost a battle and was trying hard to recover.

 

‘Hae, do you really remember everything?’

 

No.

 

‘Yes.’

 

‘But you are not afraid of him?’ He got up and looked at me intently. Studying my expressions.

 

As truthfully as I could ever be, I gave him my answer ‘No. I’m not afraid of him.’ I don’t think I ever will.

 

‘Even after what he had done to you?’

 

‘No. I’m not afraid.’

 

What had he done?

 

‘Do you still love him then?’

 

What?

 

Love?

 

My heart was beating erratically. Love? I don’t know. I love Kyu, I love Siwon, damn, I love Heechul even. But I didn’t think this was the kind of love I think he is referring to. Especially when it comes to him.

 

‘Trust me Donghae. You don’t.’ He broke the deafening silence.

 

How could he say that? What made him so sure?

 

‘I- I don’t know. This is all too much for me.’ I started shaking my head, feeling my headache worsening.

 

‘Donghae, you may not be afraid of him. You may even have forgiven him already. Because you are the sweetest person ever that doesn’t know what hatred is. But, you don’t love him. You never will. You will only pity him. But honey, that is not love. Never confuse the two.’

---

 

It was late at night. Siwon had already gone home.

 

Kyu had been worried sick indeed, and obviously Min too. Min was currently resting in Kyu’s room after taking his meds. I felt so bad that everyone had worried about me.

 

‘Don’t pout. How old are you already?’ Kyu laughed.

 

‘I’m sorry Kyu…’

 

‘You should be,’ he picked up the remote control and shut the television.

 

‘Now we need to talk,’ Kyu seemed rather amused.

 

‘Why do you look so happy. I’m still feeling bad.’

 

‘And like I said, you should be. Now spill. What happened? Siwon refused to tell me anything.’

 

How should I start?

 

I looked at Kyu. He seemed excited. I thought he would be upset like Siwon was.  

 

‘What? You are taking way too much of my time. My Minnie needs me there inside. Come on tell me.’

 

‘Then go be with him. I’ll tell you tomorrow.’ I was about to stand up to return to my room when Kyu spoke again.

 

‘Do you know you only act this way when it is about Hyuk?’ He was smiling still.

 

I stared at him in utter confusion.

 

‘Shouldn’t you be like… I don’t know. Angry? Upset? Like Siwon?’

 

He shrugged, ‘Why would I be? Hyuk loves you, you love Hyuk. Just get married already.’

 

What? Had he been drinking? On drugs maybe?

 

‘I thought you remembered everything Hae? Ah careful. Your expression.’

 

What? How is my expression?

 

He started laughing.

 

‘Kyu!’

 

‘You don’t remember anything, come on! Don’t try to lie to me. Who am i? Im Cho Kyuhyun! Nothing escapes my brilliant mind.’

 

I knew it. He had been looking at me strangely ever since I announced that I got my memories back.

 

I sighed, ‘Kyu, you know I don’t like lying. But everyone is keeping my past away from me. I had to do something.’ I drew my knees closed to my chest and rested my head on them as I spoke.

 

‘I saw him last night at the party. It felt so familiar. I know it sounds crazy but when I see him I hurt. I missed him. I’m crazy I know.’

 

I felt Kyu patting my back, ‘Hae, go find him. Ask him what happened.’

 

I looked up at Kyu. I was surprised. Didn’t he have a hand in keeping my past away from me too? Why was he suddenly helping?

 

‘What? I might be smart. But I can’t read minds.’

 

‘Why are you only doing this now?’

 

He was silent for a moment and I let him be. I continued in my own misery while waiting for him to answer.

 

‘Hae, do you know what loving someone is like?’ He answered with a question of his own though. Why was he being so weird tonight?

 

No. I don’t. Not now. I shook my head. And kindly stop asking me questions and just answer one of mine!

 

‘But Hyuk loves you. And I don’t think he will ever stop loving you. He simply cannot. So, I think it’s about time for you to do something, now that the chance is here.’

 

He chuckled before continuing, ‘Do you know you are the only one who is allowed to call him Hyukkie? Heechul tried teasing him once and nearly got hit.’

 

How did we come to this? What was he talking about?

 

Kyu suddenly straightened up and held onto my hand, ‘Hae, I never knew what happened to you. Siwon refused to tell me. And then Hyuk disappeared. Siwon told me it’s for your own good and I had thought so too at that time...’

 

He looked away quickly before turning to me again, he smiled but it showed only sadness, ‘But then I realize you were never the same after you woke up. Your smiles, your laughter, they are different now.’  

 

My smiles were different now? How was I like in the past then.

 

‘Is Siwon the bad guy here?’ I couldn’t help asking. He sounded like the bad guy in the dramas I watched, now that Kyu was putting it this way.

 

Kyu laughed, ‘Siwon loves you! He couldn’t be bad even if he wanted to, Hae. Oh gosh Siwon would be so devastated if he hears this!’

 

‘Then why is Siwon separating Hyukkie and I?’

 

‘Like he said. It’s for your own good. At least he thought so.’

 

‘Yet now you want me to find Hyukkie?’

 

There were a couple of coughs in Kyu’s room and he looked at the closed door in concern.

 

‘Because, I believe in fair play. Hyuk deserves a chance too. Besides, Siwon had his for 2 years already.’

 

He got up and walked over to his room. Before he entered he turned to me again, ‘And,’ he smirked, ‘Because, you love him.’

 

---

A/N:  Actually the story hadn’t really been going as I wanted. It seemed that the characters themselves are telling me what to write. Thus not much Eunhae action. Sorry about that.

 

Next chapter will have Eunhae I promised! And everything is going to fall into place soon. I had hoped for this to not go beyond 10 chapters but seem like it will be extended to quite a little bit. But it is finishing up!

 

And many thanks for the comments you guys have no idea what they meant to me ^^