I told my friends about all that I recalled. Min was hugging me tight and comforting me as Siwon and Kyu tried to process the information

 

Siwon still looked dazed.

 

‘When I knew you were in emergency I rushed over and he kept saying it’s all his fault.’

 

I looked over Min’s shoulders.

 

‘He was talking to himself mostly. I heard him saying if he hadn’t forced himself on you, you wouldn’t have ran away and nothing would have happened… I was out of control when I heard that and when I hit him and he didn’t even retaliate! He looked so guilty...’

 

‘…I told him to stay away if he wanted you to live.’ Siwon was holding his head in his hands in distressed. Kyu was giving him a pat on the back.

 

‘Siwon…’ I began.

 

‘No- Donghae, I told him you hate him. I told him that you would never want to see him anymore and told him to spare you all the pain and let you move on. I told him all that… I told him to go away. To disappear.’

 

‘Siwon, think about this. If he had believed in Hae’s love for him would he have stayed away simply because you told him to?’ It was Kyu who spoke.

 

‘If he had believed in my love for him…?’ I muttered.

 

Kyu looked my way and deadpanned, ‘You do realize that you never told him you love him do you?’

 

I didn’t?

 

‘And what’s with the “Oh Hyukkie it’s my job I have to socialize around”? Once again you do realize it’s only feeding his insecurities don’t you?’

 

I cringed as I saw Kyu imitating me.

 

I had always reassured Hyukkie everytime after those parties. After all it’s the only way to get deals, to retain existing clients and meeting new sponsors. He said he understood and I believed him. I would never have thought this could also be what caused him to stay away.

 

How could he doubt my love for him?

 

“You need to chase your man back now I think.” Min said.

 

 ‘And, you need to go to the police and describe that stalker to them.’ Smart Kyu, once again. I gave him a look that said I did know that.

 

---

 

‘Hyukkie! Open up!’

 

I was prepared for a repeat of yesterday’s history and was expecting to be locked out of his door at least for a while.

 

Thus explained my near heart failure when I saw the door opened.

 

‘Hyukkie-‘

 

It was Teuk.

 

He didn’t look good.

 

‘I want to see Hyukkie.’ I exclaimed, ‘Please.’

 

‘Donghae, you should go.’

 

‘No! Why? I thought you wanted me to do this? To get back together with Hyukkie?’ I was genuinely confused.

 

He looked away, ‘I have never seen him this way. Let this be the end already. This is better for him.’

 

My hands reached out and grabbed onto him, ‘What happened? Hyukkie he… What is it?’

 

Teuk seemed to be having an internal conflict as I saw the various expressions being played out on his face.

 

‘I don’t know what to do anymore Donghae. Just- just go.’

 

He shoved me away and shut the door.

 

I pounded on the door again and Teuk opened it and I could see he was about to yell at me.

 

But before he could do that I had already knocked him hard as I dashed into the house and ran up the stairs.

 

I turned the door knob and got into his room.

 

I nearly crumbled at what I saw.

 

There he was, lying on the bed, both his fists were bandaged. Blood were on the bandages.

 

What had he done? What had he done to himself?

 

I moved towards him slowly and he seemed to be asleep. I reached out to touch him. To sooth him. I wanted to tell him that nothing was his fault.

 

Most of all I wanted to tell him I love him.

 

I started to panic and yelled to Teuk when I touched his forehead and it was scorching hot. He had been running a high fever!

 

---

 

I felt touches on my head and turned over and looked up.

 

‘Hyukkie…’ He was awake now and staring at me. He was using his bandaged hands to stoke my hair.

 

‘Donghae? Is it really you?’ He looked dazed. It must have been the drugs that were administered to him by the doctor.

 

 I moved up and started kissing him fiercely. I kissed his eyes, his cheeks, his nose and his lips.

 

‘Yes Hyukkie, it’s me. I’m here.’ And I love you so much.

 

He furrowed his browns in confusion, ‘Why? You hate me. You should be.’

 

I love you.

 

‘Hyukkie, I will never hate you. What happened back then was a misunderstanding. Listen to me.’ I proceeded to tell him everything that had happened in a rush.

 

‘Son of a I will kill him,’ he hissed and tried to get up from the hospital bed.  I stopped his actions immediately and informed him that the police had already gotten to him.

 

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air between us when I saw him shut his eyes after hearing that. I knew he wasn’t asleep.

 

‘Hyukkie,’ I began, ‘What happens now?’ I held his wrist since his hands were injured.

 

Are you going to continue avoiding me?

 

Will you tell me you love me again?

 

‘Nothing. We will all go back to our lives. Just as before. Just as before we met. What you had told me still doesn’t change the fact that I did cause that accident.’ His eyes were still shut. His voice calm.

 

‘Teuk told me about your hands,’ I said, ignoring what he said earlier though it was hurting me.

 

He stiffened and pulled his wrist away. I held on tight. His eyes snapped opened.

 

‘Why did you hurt yourself?’ my voice was shaking already. Recalling what Teuk told me earlier while the doctor was attending to him. He had punched the mirrors repeatedly till he passed out in the bathroom and had refused to go the hospital despite Teuk’s pleas.

 

‘Hae, don’t you get it? Nothing changed. It still doesn’t change the fact that I caused the accident. If I had listene-‘

 

I pressed my lips to his to silence him.

 

How could I forget that. My Hyukkie had already been stubborn. Once he decided on something he never let go.

 

But he let go of me. He let go of me.

 

‘Hae, don’t cry. My hands. I can’t wipe your tears away like this. Don’t cry please.’ Hyukkie’s voice was at my ear. Pleading and shaky.

 

‘I love you.’ I whispered.

 

‘What?’ He widened his eyes.

 

I kissed his lips again and cup his face, ‘I love you Lee Hyukjae.’

 

Always have, always will.

 

---

A/N: *gasps* actually it was supposed to end here but i felt like i need to add one more scene.

 

Writing the Epilogue now! Should be doing another update soon to really complete this =)