It's been almost a week since the death of my soul in Seunghyun's house and truth be told, I'm not really sure how I've been getting by. After leaving Seunghyun's house that might, I checked into the pent house suite the company reserved for me and have been there since. All I've done so far was work, work, work, so I wouldn't have to think about Seunghyun and I can't help but blame myself for my rut but how could I not protect him, how could I come between him and his father who he loves so much. I wish I could say it was one of those things people who loved each other went through but it really isn't; I've had lunch with Daesung and Hyunseung several times and I can't help but be jealous at how easy they had it; they met, fell in love and are dating, just like that. No parents torturing them to break up for selfish reason. They did have a little problem with geography but Hyunseung decided to move to LA to be with Daesung and with my help he's having a contract drawn to be signed with my same company, how lucky. 

I really want to see Seunghyun but how could I face him? To him I'm just that one best friend he loved so much and had to protect with all his might who ended up running away from him, came back and accepted his marriage proposal, only to tell him that he didn't love him anymore. Wow, I'm really an aren't I? I've asked Daesung and Taeyang several times how he was but they always brushed it off, saying they didn't want to think about it because if they did, they would hate me and I couldn't blame them too.

 Some nights I wish I never came back, maybe Seunghyun would have forgotten about me and we wouldn't be going through this mess, at least then, there was still a tiny bit of hope of being friends with him but now there's nothing. I feel so empty, at least if I had him now, my life wouldn't be all chaotic with my face splashed over almost all magazine pages or paparazzi stalking my every move; it's gotten so bad that, some guy actually pretended to be waiter in a restaurant I was having lunch with some colleagues just to get an interview with me and got aggressive when I refused. These people are unstoppable. I miss the times when I was faceless.

"Jiyong"!! Seungri called. I had been waiting in the restaurant for almost an hour, it was bad because I had to wear a hat with dark shades so no one would take a picture, or ask for an autograph and the waiters and waitress started giving me suspicious looks and I couldn't blame them because it was night time.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting"? I stood to smack him on the head.

"Sorry, what's with the hat and glasses"? He asked chuckling a little. I missed Seungri, although Daesumg and I used to be really close, I found it easier to talk to Seungri, and he's been on his honeymoon this entire time.

"I don't want any attention. How's Dara, and why is she here"? I took off the shades and the hat.

"She's fine. She's home, I thought the five of us could have a little reunion. It's been so long since we gathered together". It took me a while to process what he meant by the five of us, it meant Seunghyun was going to be present. Seunghyun, my Seunghyun....and I look like

"Why didn't you tell me"?!!! I yelled, not caring about the other people in the restaurant.

"I didn't tell the rest either, they all just think they're just having dinner with me"

"Aish, and I look like "! This was no joke, I was really freaking out now.

"Hyung, stop being ridiculous. You're wearing a Gucci suit with Prada shoes and the Chanel scarf and Cartier watch and love bracelet". I was a little taken aback at how he knew all those after seeing me for a minute. "Sorry, I was people.com before I came here. They put a picture of you leaving the office earlier" he explained after seeing how shocked I was.

"Wow...these people are too much" I grumbled a little. It was as if personal space meant nothing.

"Can I ask what happened between you and Seunghyun" he said after a while of me ing about my lack of privacy.

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Aren't you too two old to still be doing these kinds of things, I expected you two to be married before I came back"! I really hated Seungri, he always had a way of making people rethink their life's decisions.

"Yah, I'm still the hyung here"!

"Then act like it, I'm....."

"Woah, the famous Gdragon is here"? A very excited Taeyang appeared beside us.

"Youngbae" I said and hugged him briefly.

"Sorry I haven't been able to visit you since you got back" he said as he took a seat.

"That's fine, I've been busy trying to set up anyway. So what's up with you"?

"Ah.....nothing much, just work....plus I'm seeing someone" he said shyly. Good, even monk Taeyang had someone and I have nothing, just me and my endless string of paparazzi boyfriends.

"Woah, who is she. Have I slept with her"? Only Seungri would ask a question like that.

"Thank God no!, but one of us has married her before" he said silently making Seungri and I stare blankly at him.

"You're dating Bom"!!!!!! Seungri said a little too loudly making other people shift uncontrollably.

"Wow, just go put it up on people.com right beside the gdragon article will ya"? At this point I'm guessing they will forever tease me about all my articles. Sad life. Taeyang was dating Bom, it was weird but I'm really happy for them, especially Bom. She deserves someone as nice as Taeyang.

"Does Seunghyun know"? Seungri asked, I really wanted to say something but I really couldn't bring myself to say anything.

"No, and I'm hoping you'd back off till I do. He's going through a lot right now and I wouldn't want to stress him"

"What do you mean by going through a lot"? I spoke now.

"Oh he didn't tell you, that's weird, but he sold all his stock and planning to leave his company to start a new one. How did you not know that, it's even on the news" I had been so busy this past couple of days that I never bothered to turn on the tv or go on the Internet. I only had business meetings, drew designs and tried to settle in at the penthouse when my stuff arrived but it was no excuse, how could I not have known what Seunghyun was going through?

"So that's why he told me to quickly sell all my stock like three days ago. How is he"? Once again I was in my own world, watching Taeyang and Seungri.

"He's just tired, you know how Seunghyun is; turns out, he had been starting a little company on the side and he's gotten most of his important clients to leave with him, all he needs is a few more sponsors and he's fine"

"I've only been gone a couple of days and I feel like I've missed so much, why wold he leave though"?

"Why would who leave"? Daesung and Hyunseung appeared. 

"Woah, woah, woah....what's going on" Seungri was freaking out at the sight of Daesung with Hyunseung.

"We're together. Seungri this is......"

"Yeah I know who he is, the reverse Seunghyun songwriter" 

"Seungri"!! Daesung and I yelled in unison. Seungri was really an asswipe.

"Jeez I was only kidding. Sorry Hyunseung, I'm an " he said and he shook Hyunseung. 

"I dunno, tonight is a little too weird for me. My head is literally spinning" Seungri said after several minutes of introductions.

"I see marriage hasn't changed you Seungri" It was Seunghyun, the last person to arrive. I was here dying of anticipation and trying to mentally prepare myself only for him to appear behind me. Everyone stood to hug him, everyone except me, I couldn't face him.

"Hey Jiyong" Seunghyun grabbed a seat beside me, I guess I'm not eating tonight then. How could he sit right next to me?

"Hey" I replied not looking at him, one thing I couldn't never stand about Seunghyun was his piercing eyes; it always made me feel and exposed.

"Hey"? He said laughing "That's all you have to say, I thought we were best friends" It was like nothing ever happened to us, it was like we never reached the point where we confessed out love for each other or even ever got engaged for three days. I just sat there not saying anything with everyone around the table giving us questioning looks.

"So this is not awkward at all. Can we order now, I'm starved" Seungri finally said something, removing Seunghyun's gaze from me. I forgot how intimidating he was.

"Can we wait a sec, I invited my secretary" Seunghyun said calmly.

"Kikwang"? Seungri and Taeyang asked in unison.

"Yeah"

"Wow. He's been flirting with you for almost a year now, he's persistent" Seungri said eyeing me. Like the night wasn't bad enough, now I have dine with Seunghyun and his date.

"Yeah, he asked me to dinner a while ago and I've been putting it off" I could feel Seunghyun's eyes on me as he spoke; it was killing me. I needed to be out of here.

"Why bring him when it's supposed to be just us"? Seungri was reaching and I knew it. 

"I wanted to give him a try....there he is, be nice" Seunghyun warned as he rose to make his presence known. "Everyone, this is Kikwang" I didn't want to turn but I couldn't help it, this Kikwang guy was gorgeous. He was almost Seunghyun gorgeous with his muscle and everything, he was also cute with a nice smile and I had to admit, I was jealous.

"Hi" he smiled at everyone. I hate him.

"Hi" Everyone said back while I just muttered something like...get out of our lives . I'm actually quite nice, don't get me wrong but when he sat on the other side of Seunghyun, all I could see was red.

"Omg, you're Gdragon. I love your work so much"! Kikwang was smiling from ear.

"Yeah I love it too" Seunghyun whispered to me, my God he was killing me.

"Th...thanks"

Conversations went on by for a while before our food came. There was laughter from, every angle of  the table, thanks to Seungri. 

"I wish we were all still leaving together, well everyone except Kikwang here. No offense" Seungri is fast becoming my favorite person in the world. Have I ever said how I loved him?

"I miss you guys. Seunghyun's on his own, Daesung with Hyunseung here, Taeyang with person, Jiyong in a hotel, and I'm married. I hate being grown up" Seungri complained.

"Jiyong you live in a hotel"? Taeyang asked. I had been doing a good job of playing shadow for the entire meal. Way to put me on the spot Taeyang.

"Yeah, I'm gonna  be there till my agent finds me a place"

"Why don't you come live with me till then"? Seunghyun said to me and once again there was an awkward silence. Me living with Seunghyun, the thought made me shiver to my bones.

"I'm living with a friend, maybe I should come live with you instead" Kikwang Seunghyun's arms.

"So what do you say Ken doll. Isn't that what best friends are for"?  He ignored the attention as he ruffled my hair a bit. It just like old times and for the first time that night, I looked at him, I looked at Seunghyun and it was like it was just the both of us in the restaurant and I just wanted to take him with me back to my suite, lock the doors and throw away the keys.

His father, Kikwang and the rest of the world be damned.

"I think we should all go out for drinks" Daesung said, or at least I think he did. I couldn't hear audibly over the sound of my beating heart.

"Yeah we should. Ever since my bachelor's eve, I love getting drunk" I wonder if he would catch me if I fainted right now.

"I love getting drunk, it's......" Kikwang started to say before he was shut down by Hyunseung 

"Sorry dude, adults only"

"Hyunseung, I really think we need to hang out more" Seungri was saying to Hyungseung as I tore my eyes away from Seunghyun.

Seungri soon paid the bill after everyone on the table offered to pay but no one could say no to him. Soon we were out and ready to leave for our favorite bar, Seunghyun saw Kikwang to his car while the rest of us waited for him.

"Gdragon, excuse me. Hey can I get that interview now"? It was the aggressive reporter again, boy was he ruthless.

"Please not today" I was trying my hardest to be polite but it wasn't working as he lounged at me, knocking me to the floor. It was all a blur, and before I knew it, he was off me with his back to the wall and arms around his throat.

"He said not today douche" it was an angry Seunghyun and he had the reporter flat against the wall looking like he was going to pee his pants. It wasn't my first time seeing Seunghyun like this, the first time had been with Chaerin's boyfriend and just like now, it was all because of me.

"I'm sorry, I'll never bother him again"

"Of course you won't. Now scram, and tell the rest of your friends" he said and let the guy free and he literally ran for his life.

"Woah" The other guys exclaimed but he ignored them as he walked over to me, who was still mounted to the floor; his eyes were darker than usual and he looked ier than ever. He took my hand and pulled me to his car by the side walk and shuffled me in. I really wanted to say something but I couldn't, it was physically and emotionally impossible. The last time I saw Seunghyun, he basically told me not to come back to him but then he flirted with me earlier ad now he's defending me, I'm so confused. What are we doing? What am I doing? Why can't I just stay away?

"See you guys at the bar" I heard him tell the other guys as he walked around and got in the car, and just like that I was left alone with Seunghyun.