So so so so sorry for not updating sooner. This isn't my best chapter and I'm sorry for that but I promise to make up for it :)

 

 

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They say if you love someone you protect them right?, you do everything possible to never hurt them especially if you know that that person would do anything thing in their power to protect you, and has done so once before. I wish I never loved Seunghyun so much to want to protect him at all cost because if I never loved him so much, I wouldn't be here crying and having to make one of the biggest decision of my life. 

 

FLASHBACK

 

"Mr Choi..." I gasped at the sight in front of me. It was Seunghyun's father, the last person on earth I was expecting to see.

"Aren't you going to let me in" there he was smiling like he always. He was quite scary now, knowing what he had put Seunghyun and I through.

"Sorry. Please come in" I said and stepped aside and closed the door when he walked in. "Can I offer you..." 

"I'm not staying long Jiyong" he cut me off calmly as he sat on one of the living room chairs. "I actually came here immediately after Mr Lee's wedding but I'm guessing you postponed your flight seeing as you were with Seunghyun" I froze immediately.

"How did you....."?

"How did I know"? He scoffed. "When my daughter came screaming at me, telling me I couldn't control Seunghyun anymore because she told you everything, I knew you'd go running to him so I came here to find you. Been waiting for you since yesterday".

"If you want me to leave Seunghyun, I would never" I said immediately. This was not a time to be soft.

"I knew you would say that and I was going to threaten your job but I can't do that now seeing how you've made a name for yourself. Gdragon". I had always heard about people like this, people like Seunghyun's father who did everything within their means to make people's lives miserable.

"Please just leave us be" I was pleading now.

"Will you leave my son"?

"No"

"Well since I can't make you. I guess I'll have to take it out on Seunghyun" I froze for the second time. 

"What will you do"? I could not stop the tears, they were slowly forming.

"I'm guessing by now you heard what your little missing in action stunt did to Seunghyun; he was in a financial rot for a while especially since his company was just up and running at the time because he wanted to do it all on his own without me. Well, after you left, his company was deteriorating fast so being a good father, I gave him money to start back up. I'm a major stock holder in Seunghyun's company and I can choose to sell it at anytime" By the time he was done, I was already in tears. He was going to drive Seunghyun out of his company, a company he had worked so hard for.

"Please don't, it'll crush him"

"No. You will crush him" he said and stood up to leave "Goodluck Jiyong, I wish you guys have a nice life together" 

"Wait"! I yelled and he stopped to look at me. "Please" I got on my knees now. 

"I should beg you Jiyong. I don't want to ruin my son, so please Jiyong, please" he actually looked remorse and it was sickening.

"I'll do it.....I....will leave him... Just let me spend one more day with him please" I was sobbing now. It was like being stabbed, it hurt so much.

"Fine" he turned to leave again

"You know why Seunghyun stayed away from me during college"? I said now, drying my tears.

"Yes. It was because I told him you wouldn't be able to work in....."

"Wrong" I cut him off "He was going to obey you regardless of me because he respects you so much. He did it because he loves ad respects you so much because of all the things you did for him".

"So that should tell you not to come between us"

"I won't and never will but one thing you should know is that, that respect wouldn't last forever. Soon enough it would be gone" He had to hear the truth. 

"I know" I heard sadness on his voice "I know he would hate me soon but it's okay"

"I don't get it, you work in the fashion industry, you cannot possibly that much of a homophobe" I was confused, it all made no sense.

"I just want my son to have a regular life with a wife and kids" he said and left. He was right, I couldn't offer Seunghyun that. Kids were most definitely out of the picture.

 

*********

So here I am, back to square one, crying my eyes out because I can't be with Seunghyun and I had to find a way to tell him. 

The flight back to LA was long and somewhat annoying; although my secretary was taking care of shipping my things, word had gotten out that I was at the airport again so I was once again hounded by paparazzi. Walking out of the airport in LA and I have never been more scared, but that I was wrong because there seunghyun was, standing by his black jaguar in a navy blue suit with black Ray Ban sunglasses looking like he just stepped out of the runway. How could i leave him? How could I leave him when i love him much.

"Hey there" he took of his glasses and walked up to me.

"Don't you have to go to work"? I said walking up to him.

"Yeah I do. Picking up my fiancé from the airport" I froze at the word while he pulled me into him, kissing me deeply.

"Seunghyun" I pushed him away slightly "we're in public" I'm sure I was red now, Seunghyun was killing me with his closeness.

"I don't care, I missed you so much" he said and kissed me again as I tried to hold back my tears.

"Are you okay"? He asked on the ride to his house.

"Yeah why"? 

"I dunno, you seem distant" He knew me too well.

"Yeah, just tired" I hated lying to him.

"I can imagine, I saw the news with paparazzi swarming you. So sorry babes but I think it's gonna be the same here too. Everyone's talking about you" he said sympathetically.

"Can we do something today, just the two of us"? I was on burrowed time with him.

"Yeah what do you wanna do"? He asked pulling over

Seunghyun was patient with me, going with me to the movies; i'd always wanted to see a movie with him. We got ice cream and went to a park and talked about different things. It was perfect, our first date but also our last.

"I love you Jiyong, I love being here with you"

I love you more than life itself Seunghyun, I really wish I could say it to him but I couldn't "thanks" I said instead.

"So what do you want to do next"? He said coming closer to me and I stepped back.

"Let's go to your place"

"You mean our place" he chuckled lightly. How could I leave him? Seunghyun is my future, my soul, my everything.

We went back to the condo where I cooked for him.

"Wow this is really good" he said as he took a bite off his lasagna. 

"Thank you". It was time. I got my day with him and I tried to be as distant as I could, although it was hard.

"Seunghyun..we....we need to talk" I wasn't sure how to start the conversation, I don't want to start the conversation.

"Yeah Ji" please don't call me that, please don't look at me like that.

"I can't marry you" It broke my heart to say it but the look on Seunghyun's face broke me more, he looked like he just saw a ghost.

"This isn't funny Ji"

"I thought it was what I wanted but it isn't. I thought I was still in love with you but I'm not" Don't choke Jiyong, you can do it, just wait till later to cry.

He laughed a little "My father got to you didn't he"?

"What are you talking about"? I hoped my acting improved over the year because i was going to need it.

"Don't ing lie to me Jiyong, I went home to talk to my parents about us yesterday but my mother told me my father went to Paris after a conversation with my sister. Did you see my father"? He asked calmly

"No I didn't" 

"I said don't lie to me" he slammed his fork on the table "did he threaten you again. I swear he can't touch you" he calmed a bit but I was crying now.

"I'm not lying"

"Then why are you crying"? He asked coming close to me. "You don't love me huh" he bent down, cupped my face and kissed me lightly at first and then deepened the kiss making me moan. "Then why kiss me back, why"? He was crying now too "Please let's not do this again Ji, I'm not sure how much more I can take" 

"I don't love you anymore" I said silently, looking at my plate.

"I can't do this again Jiyong" 

"I don't love you anymore" I was trying to convince myself now, hoping it would make it easy. 

"So you're running away again. I'll find you Jiyong, always will"

"No. I'm staying, I'm staying here in LA but not with you" I said rising up to leave, scared to look in his face.

"I can't live like this anymore, it's like we're living in some angsty Korean drama and I can't do it anymore" his voice was cold now, it was like I was speaking to a different Seunghyun. 

"I'm so sorry but....."

"If you leave now, it's going to be forever. I am not going to be waiting for you". I was dying, it was over and I wished I could steal one last kiss from him but I still could not look at him.

"Don't" 

"Jiyong look at me" grabbed me by my shoulder to spin me to face him "look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me again" I couldn't do it, but I had to.

"I...I...."

"You can't even say it can you"?

"I don't love you" I finally said and he let me go immediately.

"Goodbye Jiyong" And just like that it was over. I was out of his life and I got to protect him, I got to make him happy and keep his company, a company he worked so hard for but why does it feel like I just made the worst mistake of both our lives. The look in his eyes and the words 'Goodbye Jiyong' would haunt me for life.