It’s already been two days and Kyuhyun is still unconscious. Yesung is feeling guilty for how things turned out because he never wanted to hurt Siwon or Kyuhyun. He knows he was being the most selfish person on earth, but what can he do? He, himself, doesn’t understand why he did this. Is it wrong for him to pursue another love, although he already had Siwon?

The truth was, Yesung knew Siwon loves him but sometimes he feels that he didn’t own all of Siwon’s heart. He always felt like he couldn’t reach something deep inside his boyfriend’s heart.

Now, he doesn't only feel bad for Siwon and Kyuhyun, but also for Changmin. He knows the latter is suffering as well, and so if he can go back in time, he will make sure to tell the truth to Siwon and Kyuhyun about their little affair. If he could, he won’t accept Siwon’s love and instead, he will try to make him realize that Kyuhyun loves him. He would do anything possible if only he can go back in time.

…

Today, Yesung comes to the hospital again like he's been doing for the last couple of days. When he opens the door, there's no one there because Changmin, and the rest of the Super Junior members have schedules.

As he steps inside, he can’t help but sob when he sees the maknae still unconscious. He wants Kyuhyun to wake up soon so he can explain everything to him, even though he wasn't brave enough to tell Siwon the truth. Yesung just isn’t ready yet, because he's afraid Siwon will hate him.

“Hi, Kyu. How’s your day? Are you feeling okay?” Yesung talks to Kyuhyun while he sits on the chair beside the bed.

“...”

“You know Kyu, Everyone is worried about you. We can't stop thinking about you even during our schedules. Please Kyunnie, wake up soon” He then starts crying, especially when there's no response from the maknae.

“Please wake up… If something bad happens to you, I can’t forgive myself. I know I've hurt everyone Kyu, not just Siwon and Changmin, so if you want to blame someone for this mess, you can blame me. Your hyung is greedy… If you ask me why I didn’t tell you the truth earlier, it's because Changmin said that it isn’t the right time. We didn’t know when to tell you, but trust us, we were going to come clean with you and Siwon if this accident hadn't happen. I’m really sorry Kyu, I'm sorry”

Yesung's tears start running down his face even heavier than before. There's still no answer from the boy lying lifeless on the bed, but still he adds...

“You know Kyu...

 (Yesung POV)
I met with him again in person when we came to a talk show for SM Entertainment. He came alone and there was a game called ‘Can You Hear My Heart’ when we’re allowed to say anything that we couldn’t say to our band mates or the other group members.

Changmin said something to spirit SNSD when they went overseas, and what did I say that day?

“I want to say something to Changmin. Before debut, Changmin and I were so closed. We spent most of our time together, but after our debut, he would call the other members instead of me. He let me down. He even prefers to drink wine with our maknae and they often go out together. I’m a bit disappointed”

I meant it and he just lowered his head and looked at me chuckling. I didn’t know it would be the beginning of this forbidden relationship, but seriously I did like him, or even loved him since a long time ago. However, we didn’t have much time to spend together when we debuted, but after that show, we would sometimes go out and have chit-chats.

I know it was wrong since I already had Siwon, but I wanted Changmin too, the maknae’s lover. I’ve become greedy, selfish and didn’t think about the consequences. I love Siwon, but when I’m with him, it’s different from when I’m with Changmin.

I remember what he told me the day we decided to take the risk…

“Sometimes there are some things that we can’t understand with our logic, our knowledge, or even from books... But when we feel it, it doesn’t matter what we’re thinking about, because although it feels wrong, it also feels great that it’s worth taking the risk. So whatever happens, let’s face it together.”

How he accepted this? Because during his relationship, he never heard you say the three magic words. You often drowned in your own thoughts that he realized that you love someone else, but he didn’t know exactly who. He hoped you would notice him and fall in love with him, but it never happened, Kyu. He tried hard to steal your heart but he still couldn’t. He loved you Kyu… well, until I came along and comforted him. He always talked about you in the first month we went out together. Was I hurt? Yes, that hurt me so much, but I didn’t mind because as long as I could comfort him, I would’ve done anything and Siwon could decrease my pain later on. I felt so sorry for him. I know I was wrong.

…

Flashback

“We have to tell them Minnie, as soon as possible. I think if we keep this a secret any longer, it will hurt them more. I’m their hyung, I bet they will hate me. I don’t want them hate me for the rest their lives, I love them. They deserve much better than us” I tried to persuade him one day.

“No baby, this is not the right time. It will be more complicated if we tell them now. We must find a way to solve this without hurting them” He argued.

“We will hurt them either way, Changmin. No matter what, this is still wrong. This is our mistake. All of this mess, we must clean it up by ourselves. We started it, so we should fix it” I whispered trying to make him calm.

“Please baby, at least not now. We should first be prepared for their reaction before we face them” He squeezed my hand tightly.

“As you wish, honey. But don’t take too long. Okay?” I smiled at him.

End of Flashback

…

“I know you can’t hear me Kyu. But I promise I’ll tell you everything in person when you wake up. Please forgive your stupid hyung, Kyu” Yesung holds Kyuhyun’s cold hand. He then stands up, kisses the younger’s temple and get ready to leave because he has a schedule after this. However, as he turns around, his jaw drops, too shocked when he finds someone standing at the doorframe with hands crossed over his chest.

“S-ss-siwon...”

“Hi, baby..” Siwon smiles coldly but he doesn’t look at Yesung.

“When did you get here, Wonnie?” Yesung knows there’s something wrong with Siwon. Did he hear everything?’ He thought nervously.

“Since you started telling Kyuhyun about ‘that’. Can you tell me in person about that Kim Jongwoon-ssi?” Siwon finally turns his gaze to Yesung. He’s angry, disappointed, upset and sad all mixed up together. He is kind of too calm for someone who just found out that his lover cheated on him, but only because he doesn’t know what he should do.

 
“Changmin and I ... We are....” Yesung stammers. He feels that his knees can’t hold his body anymore. His head is hung low because he’s not brave enough to look into Siwon’s eyes.

“WHAT? YOU WHAT, YESUNG-SSHI?” Siwon shouts. His sight turns blurry as he tries to hold back his tears.

“Changmin and I.... Changmin and I are in a relationship. I’m sorry. I know----“ 

PLAAAK!!!

Suddenly Yesung feels his face burning and it hurts so much and he raises his hand to touch his stinging cheek. He can’t believe that Siwon just slapped him. Yes, he deserved it. No, he deserves more than a slap. Yesung knows Siwon is hurt. His ex-boyfriend doesn’t deserve this kind of pain, he is a good person. Yesung knows he’s such an ungrateful lover. He already had the almost perfect guy on earth but he betrayed him.

“You hurt me. You killed me on the inside, hyung” Siwon can’t hold back his tears anymore.

“Siwonnie. I’m sorry. I know I made a big mistake. I’m such an ungrateful person that betrayed you and Kyuhyun. You deserve a better person than me. I’m sorry, Siwonnie. I’m sorry. You can slap me as much as you want, or you can kick me or whatever you want Siwonnie” Yesung reaches for Siwon’s hand and puts it on his red cheek.

“Nothing will solve this mess. Just leave me alone” Siwon turns his body to face Kyuhyun who’s still in his deep slumber.

“But, Siwon.....” Yesung starts to sob. He doesn’t know how many times he cried that day, but he just knows that his tears are starting to get dry.

“Just go, please” Siwon pleads while gritting his teeth.