“Urgh, maybe one of us should take him home?” one of the guys said looking at the drunken Kris.

“I don’t wanna…to go…‘ome” slurred Kris as he raised his cup up in the air, toasting “let’s keep drinking.”

“No more drinking for you, you are already drunk” said Sunhwa yanking Kris to his feet, “and besides, you have work tomorrow, we need to call a cab and get you home.”

Sunhwa and Lu Han helped Kris to into the cab before climbing in after him. “Thanks for coming with me, Lu Han. I don’t think I could have carried him by myself” Sunhwa said looking at Kris feeling sorry for him for not being able to catch up to Victoria in time.

“No problem,” Lu Han looked at Sunhwa then at Kris, “I’ve known him since college and the only time I’ve ever seen him this drunk is around the beginning of February. I remember every year he’d go drinking around that time saying he’s celebrating someone’s birthday and he’d drink till he’s drunk, but the werid thing is that I don’t remember celebrating anyone’s birthday in February. Anyways, who is that girl to Kris?”

Sunhwa smiled weakly, not knowing how to answer the question.

“I think you said her name was Victoria. She was that pretty girl, earlier, the one I had wanted you to set me up with, right?” Lu Han couldn’t help being curious about the identity of this mysterious girl. It was the first time he had seen Kris so worked up over a girl. It was like he was a different person, yelling and screaming at others because of some girl. It was out of his character.

Before Sunhwa could answer, Kris spoke. “You can’t have her so don’t even bother asking about her.”

“For someone who was so drunk to the point where he was slurring his words a moment ago, you sure sobered up fast” Lu Han joked as he looked at Kris.

Opening his eyes, Kris told the taxi driver to pull aside the road to let his friends out. “I’m fine guys. I can take myself home.”

“Are you sure you can walk yourself up the stairs?” Sunhwa asked, concerned.

“We don’t mind going with you” said Lu Han, loving over at Kris.

“Yes. Now go” Kris pushed his friends out the taxi and closed the door behind them. Turning his attention back to the taxi driver, he gave the driver a different address then the one his friends had instructed earlier.

Standing infront of the door to a red brick house, Kris put the keys into the key hole and turned the knob.“I guess they haven’t changed the door knob yet” he whispered. Switching on the lights, he headed up the stairs towards the hallway.

Walking down the hallway, he scanned the doors one by one until he reached a blue door with the word “Victoria” written across the center. Turning the knob to the room, he switched the lights on and looked around the room before stepping inside. The room had looked emptier and smaller than he has remembered, but then again he hasn’t been here for a while; probably since last February. Looking at the pictures on the table, the nostalgic feeling came rushing back to him. He smiled as he picked up each picture. One picture was of him, Siwon and Victoria laughing, another one had them dressed up, formally, for some event and the last one was with them making silly faces. We all looked so happy back then, he thought. Touching Victoria’s face in the last picture, the smile on his face slowly faded into a grimace, “where did it all go wrong?”

Placing the pictures back on the table, he walked over to her bed taking off his shoes. Lying down on her bed he closed his eyes. He had slept on this bed often since she left, he thought. Every now and then, when missing her became too unbearable, he’d come here and sleep.

Once he even got caught by her parents sleeping here. They would stay in this house every time they came back for a business trip. He remembered waking up in her bed once with her parents staring at him. He remembered being on his hands and knees, that day, begging them to tell him where she went, but they said they couldn’t because Victoria didn’t want him or Siwon to find her.

In the past, he use to hope that if he slept in her bed often enough there would be a chance he’d wake up one day and see her standing in front of him; her disappearing would have all been just a dream.

What a childish idea, he thought as he laughed bitterly. She did appear again 10 years later, but instead of standing in front of you like you’d hope, she’s still running away. If I didn’t fall in love with you that day, then maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain now…was his last thought before falling into a deep sleep dreaming of…

------

“Kris!” yelled an 11 year old Victoria as she ran towards him. When she reached him, she looked really anxious and her hands were shaking wildly. Grabbing his arm, “Where did you go? I was looking everywhere for you. How come your face and arms are all scratched up? Do you know how worried I was?”

Her voice was trembling as a tear escape her big round eyes. I couldn’t help, but lift my hand up to wipe the tears away. “I’m okay. Don’t cry.”

“How can you say you’re okay!” Victoria lifted her hand to his face and it gentle, “look at you! You’re bleeding here” she wiped the spot with her sleeves, “and here too!” she wiped another spot. Taking her hand away from my face she grabbed my wrist and began inspecting my arms, “why are you all bruised and scratched up here too!”

“I wanted to relieve some stressed so I picked a fight with a few kids,” I said, letting out a soft chuckle, “At least I won.”

Pulling on my arm, she dragged me away from the park. “Geez, if you are feeling so stressed out you can come and talk to me about it. Don’t pick a fight with strangers you fool. What if you had gotten seriously hurt, huh?”

“I won’t,” I grinned widely at her displeased face, “I’m strong, you know.”

“Normally strong people would avoid getting hit altogether. Now, let’s go and take care of these wounds before you get an infection.”

Before I knew it, we had reached her house. She told me to go to her room and sit on the bed, while she goes and find the first aid kit. When I entered her room the air was filled with her scent, it smelt so good. I sat on the bed, as she had instructed earlier, and looked around her room. I’ve been here many times before, but I have never really notice how girly her room was; she has stuff animals all over her bed, her curtains are frilly and lacy in the colors of pink and white. She actually has makeup table with all these girly products all over it.

Before I could investigate any further the door swung opened. Walking into the room, she smiled upon seeing my face. She walked over to the computer table and pulled her computer chair closer to her bed as she placed the first aid box on the bed.

“Turn this way” she instructed as she pulled my body towards hers. “What’s been bothering you so much that got you going around picking fights with strangers?”

“You know the usual problem, girls” I lied.

I yelped as she pressed the sanitizer pad on my arms. “That’s what you get for lying to me.”

I smiled. Only she can see through all my lies. “You know me best.”

“That’s not answering the question” she looked sternly at me.

Looking into her eyes I could sense how worried she was. I took a deep breath before speaking in a low mumble, “Siwon just got accepted to this one prestigious high school and my family has been on my case about how I should be more like him. They are always comparing me to him and it’s starting to get on my nerves.”

After a few seconds of silence, she looked up at me. “Keep talking. It’s better to let out all your frustrations and complaints than to hold it in.” She smiled at me then continued wiping the area she hadn’t finished earlier.

“I know he’s smart, good looking and everything more than I’ll ever be, but I hate hearing about it all the time. It’s always Siwon this, Siwon that. Every time they compare me to him, it makes me hate him a little more each time. I feel like no matter how hard I try or how much effort I put into things, it’s all useless. He outshines me in all aspect. Sometimes I just wish people would appreciate me instead of comparing me to him.” I paused a few seconds longer than before. In a small whisper, I muttered “I wondered if I am even loved at all. Sometimes I think that maybe it would have been better if I were to disappear.”

Looking up, Victoria caressed my cheeks with her hands, “If you were to disappear, I’ll be very sad.” She moved her hands from my cheeks downwards towards my back, wrapping her arm around me, she hugged me tightly. Her body was warm and soft against my cold skin. She smells so good, so good. Her fragrant is intoxicating, I thought as she brushed her hair against my cheeks letting me inhale her scent.

She spoke in a soft, warm tone as I hugged her back “you are loved. Even if you don’t realize it, you are loved. There are times when parents say and do things that hurt their child that they don’t realize. You should tell them how you feel so that they’d know what’s been bothering you instead of holding it in because if this continues you’ll be the only one who’s hurting in the end. Don’t say hate Siwon. He loves you and you know. He doesn’t say it often, but you and I both know you are important to him. He would do anything for you…Anything.”

Loosening her arms slightly, still hugging me, she looked up. “Don’t ever think that you aren’t as great as Siwon. You are you, and Siwon is Siwon. You guys are different and that’s what makes you guys special. And if in the future you still feel that everyone’s against you then just know that I’ll always be here by your side. You will always be loved by me, so don’t ever say that you’ll disappear, okay?”

Squeezing my arms I tightened our hug. I tilted my head slightly so that my lips were close to her ear, I whispered, “I love you.”

Giggling, she hugged me back tighter than before, “I love you too.”

I don’t know why, but hearing her say those words made me feel like my feelings were about to explode at any moment. I squeezed her again as if I couldn’t get enough, “I love you. I really do. I really love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Patting my back, she giggled again. “Okay I got it, I love you too. If you hug me any tighter I’ll die you know. And I can’t die without ever falling in love! That’ll be a shame.”

It seems she didn’t understand. Our words were the same, but the meanings behind them were different. I loosen my grip around her and stared into her eyes. I lifted my finger and brushed the fallen hair strain away from her face. At that moment looking at her smiling face, I realized that I never want to let go of her.

What I would give, if only time would stop at this moment forever, I thought.

=======

 Pulling on Victoria’s arm I couldn’t help, but be furious with her. “Why the hell are you going to a mixer again…who are the ers this time?”

Victoria pushed me away and looked up at me with rage filled eyes, “are you freaking serious? Why do I have to tell you when I am going to a mixer or who these guys are?” Pulling on my arms with her hands, she pulled me closer to her “you need to get out of this possessive big brother phase you are going through. I’m not a damn property where you can give orders to.”

I yanked my arms from her grip and pushed her against the door, pinning her hands in mine above her head, I couldn’t hide how furious I was at for saying those words “big brother? You have got to be ing kidding me.” Pushing my body against hers so she can feel my pounding heartbeat, I bend my head closer to hers, enough for me to hear her breathing against my lips as I whispered “I have never seen you as a sister and I never will.”

I want to kiss her right now I want to kiss her so badly, I thought looking at her lips. Her lips were pink and moist looking. And the way her lips are slightly opened, allowing me to feel her slow breathing against my lips made me tremble. Her lips and mine are just a few centimeters apart and knowing that, it made me want to feel her lips against mine even more, I want it to badly it hurts, but I can’t have it now. Not yet at least. I must have some self-control. I pulled my face away from her face, not knowing how much longer I could endure not being able to kiss her lips.

“But I see you as a brother. You and Siwon are both like brothers to me” she whispered. Struggling to break from my grasp, she tried to push my arms and body away from her, but it was useless, I was stronger than her. Her doing this just makes me want to use more force on her. Pushing my body even closer than before, so there is no room between us, I squeezed her hands tighter.

Looking at her eyes I slowly found myself slowly wandering downwards toward her womanly curves. She was wearing shorts with a tank top and my view from up here, I could see her . I can’t control myself anymore. Still pinning her, I pressed my lips against her neck wanting to it so badly, but I held back. “I want you to see me as a man,” I whispered against her skin, kissing her neck gently several times. I had wanted to feel the taste of her skin against my lips and now that I have, it feels like I can never get enough.

Looking up at her, I could see tears begin to form at the corner of her eyes. It brought me back to reality. I pulled away from her bring her hands down from above her head. Still holding her hands in mine, I rubbed them gently “sorry. I must have been too rough my grip must have hurt you.” Seeing my fingers imprinted in red against her pale skin, cause me pain. I know I’ve been possessive lately, ever since that time, when I realized my feelings for her, but I don’t know what to do anymore. She was slipping away from me so fast. I don’t want anyone else to have her. I don’t want anyone else to touch her. I only want her as mine.

I know right now she only sees me as a brother and childhood friend, but in the future I want her to see me as much more. I need to make her see me as a man. I need to do it fast before someone else tries to take her away from me. “Why are you crying” I asked, looking at the tears slowly streaming down her cheeks.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked looking at me. Her agonizing glaze pierced through my heart making me regret my actions. Damn it, why couldn’t I just control myself.

“Sorry I was just teasing you. I took my joke too far,” I lied. I didn’t want to see her looking at me with such a painful expression anymore. I let go of her hands and wrapped my arms around her, “I’m sorry.”

I wanted to tell her I meant all of it, in the past and even now, but I can’t. Not yet, at least. If I continue forcing my love on her at this point, I’ll only cause her pain. I can’t hurt her. I can’t hurt someone I love so much, I just can’t.

Hugging her tighter I couldn’t help thinking about how much I wanted her to love me. If my love is causing her this much pain, I’ll just love her in silent until she can accept my love. What can I do to make you love me like the way I love you? He thought, just tell me. I’ll do anything as long as you love me back.

[Author's Note] Now that one main male character's story has appeared, next is Siwon? Maybe in a chapter or two.  =O! Stay tune.

I'll try to make you guys fall in love with both characters (Kris and Siwon), making it hard for you to choose between the two in the future ;) Maybe.