[Author’s Side Notes] I just wanted to say thank you to all of you, who have subscribed to my fanfic and thank you for commenting on the chapters. That means a lot to me. Thank you for your support and love<3

I’m trying to make the story more interactions/storyline and less descriptive/emotional turmoil, like some of you have advised, so please bear with me at times when I do go overboard again.

Every time I make a time line of the events for the next chapter I always try to make it for 3-4 pages…and with the actual text it comes out to 6-10 pages and yet…it’s only for this fanfic that I always end up writing more than I should…I need to learn better writing habits.

Anyways, enjoy~

BTW, I have a question. Before, Victoria had a lot of fanfics, they were quiet popular, but lately there are less people writing Victoria fanfics, do you guys know the reason why that is? O_o’’

 

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A week had gone by since Kris had confronted Victoria about Siwon sleeping over at her place. Victoria had expected things to change after that, but to her surprise he acted and pretend as if nothing had had happened whenever they would meet up for their occasional lunch and dinner dates; it was as if nothing has changed between them.

She should have been happy seeing how calm Kris had been acting about the whole ordeal after she had explained it to him, but for some reason she wasn’t. She was more anxious if anything. That night when he continually questioned her whereabouts made her feel a rush of old memories coming back. Even though he kept saying he has changed a part of her could still feel his old self resurfacing. At that exact moment when he yelled at her, questioning her over and over again felt like she was the old Victoria being treated as an item a possession by Kris all over again, just like before.

His new self hasn’t really changed much. He might have matured, but some things are still unchangeable even with time. Instead of saying he has changed it’s more like he is just suppressing those feelings to make himself feel as though time has changed him. It felt as if he was like a ticking time bomb, holding all his emotions and feelings inside for now.

Every time they’d meet up in this past week she could sense his outer shell was slowly falling apart. His calm demeanor was slowly crumbling before her with his indirect questioning about her whereabouts and her plans for the days she has off.

It pierced though her heart seeing his forceful smile, that fake happy and cheerful expression every time they meet because she knew that look all too well. At one point in her life she was standing where he is now standing. Putting on an act pretending it doesn’t hurt and everything is fine when you’re face to face with the other person because you rather bare the pain of seeing them than not seeing them at all.

A foolish choice, but that’s what love does to you. That’s probably why she had endured so much when she was around Siwon back then. She just wanted to see him smile and look towards her once more and with just that it was all worth it to her. All the pain she had to endure at that time was fine as long as he stayed by her side. Such a foolish thought, but like they say ‘only fools fall in love.’

He was always close yet so unreachable to me even back then. Even knowing that I could never reach him, I still wanted to try and touch him. And when I did, he disappeared from my side and picked her. But that’s all in the past. Now that I’m allowed to touch him and stay by his side, I hesitate. I’m just so damn scared of myself when he’s near me. So scared of making the wrong choice and end up being hurt and left alone once again by him. That’s probably one of the biggest reasons why I can’t be with Kris. I don’t want to treat Kris like how Siwon had once treated me; giving me the feeling of hope to later one day shatter it with cruel reality.

That’s why Kris, don’t look at me that way, giving me your gentle affectionate gaze full of hope, because it reminds me so much of who I use to be…

Ring~Ring~Ring.

He spoke before she had a chance to. “Hey Victoria.” He greeted her wearily.

“Speaking of the devil. I was just thinking about you and then you called.” She greeted him back. “Hey Kris, how is it going? You sound really tired.”

“Thinking about me?” He whispered in a low tremble. His question was full of concerned and uncertainty.

“Yeah.” She answered back. Dammit, I shouldn’t have brought it up. He’ll start asking me questions now.

To her surprise he didn’t ask her what she was thinking about regarding him. “That doesn’t sound like a good thing,” he tried to sound like he was teasing her, but his tone was full of anxiousness as he spoke.

“Have you been getting enough sleep lately?” Victoria steered the topic in a different direction. “You sound tired.”

“I am.” He let out a soft sigh. “Umm…what…are you doing today?” With every word of his question, his tone became lower and lower, until it became a feeble mumble.

“What I do almost every day silly.” She answered him using a joking tone. “Working, what else.”

“I see…” he answered in a nervous mutter before letting out a soft sigh. Between his answer and his sigh, she could sense his restlessness.

She didn’t like the sound of his voice. It sounds exhausted and yet troubled at the same time. It was painful hearing his restless sighs. “Why do you ask? Did you want to grab lunch today or something?” She really hated to see this side of him. She wanted to know what’s causing him to be so tense and stressed throughout their whole conversation, but at the same time she was also scared of knowing the answer.

“I can’t…I’m out of town, on a business trip” He answered, sounding annoyed. He wasn’t annoyed at her, he was just irritated that he can’t see her. “Hey…umm…” He spoke then paused, unable to finish his sentence.

“Yeah?” Victoria interrupted him, hearing the long pause of uncertainty in his sentence.

“Ar…are…you…going…” He spoke each word with cautiousness as he paused in between them. Unable to ask what he wanted to ask, he let out a long sigh. “Never mind.” He whispered restlessly.

“What is it?” Victoria asked nervously. Hearing that pause from him, she kind of knew what he wanted to ask, but was hoping he wouldn’t ask.

She knows she’s just being selfish for not wanting him to ask her that question, but no matter what answer she gives him, he won’t be happy with either one. Lying or telling him the truth, doesn’t matter which. They will both hurt him in the end.

“Nothing.” Kris forced himself to smile, not that she can see. “I just wanted to say, have a good day that’s all. I’ll see you when I get back?” His last sentence was more of a question than a statement.

“Of course.” Victoria felt somewhat relieve he didn’t ask. “Take care of yourself, Kris.”

“You too. Bye.” He whispered and hung up. Leaning back on his chair he let out a frustrating sigh. Why can’t you just boldly ask her if she’s going to see Siwon today or not? Kris ran his fingers through his hair and grunted. “You big idiot,” he whispered. “Don’t you know, your fear will only create more openings for him?”

After they hung up, she heard a soft knock on her office door. “Dr. Song, it’s time for your morning visits to wards.” Nurse Luna smiled and held out a clip board for Victoria.

Getting up from her seat she smiled back, “okay.” Walking over she took the clipboard from Luna and scanned through it.

“You seem tired. Is something wrong?” Nurse Luna looked over at Victoria with a worrying expression.

“It’s nothing,” Victoria reassured her with a smile and patted Luna on the back. “You’re so caring. No wonder all the male staff here love you.” Victoria tease.

Bushing, Nurse Luna hid behind her own clipboard. “Don’t tease me like that. They like you, not me.”

“You’re being too modest. Give yourself a little more credit.” Victoria smile and began walking out the door. “I could name a handful of males who would pick you over me any day.” Victoria walked away leaving Luna to ponder who these guys were.

After finishing her morning rounds, Victoria came back to her office to pack up a few documents before heading over to Siwon’s company. During her drive to his office all she could think about was how she should act around him because right now she felt more nervous and tense than anything else.

They haven’t seen each other since that day at her house, where they had that fight and since then, his words from that night has been haunting her. She shouldn’t even care about his words, but they kept on replaying in her mind, just like images of him flashing through her thoughts. His words and face was always replaying vividly in her mind.

Letting out a sigh she hit the wheel with her hand. How should I act around him so that there’s no awkward tension between us during the meeting? Can I act natural around him and pretend like nothing has happened between us in front of his employees, that I didn’t throw myself at him and unconsciously confessed that I still love him through my actions, could I act like none of that is reality in front of him, playing it cool?

Even if she can’t she knows she has to put up an act and be natural as possible. All in the name of professionalism, don’t let your private life affect your work life. So what if he knows you still love, so what? Just pretend that your memory from that night hasn’t come back yet. Just act as if that night meant nothing. Swallowing her saliva she inhaled deeply and let out soft sigh. Even if she doesn’t want to remember it the kiss between them keeps lingering in her mind, replaying over and over again. Touching her lips unconsciously she traced the outline of it. Especially at night when I close my eyes the memory of the kiss becomes even more vivid, making my heart tremble with both joy and pain.

His warm soft tender lips against mine. The sweet taste of seduction mixed with desire that filled them. His body against mine, holding me tight. It was a painfully bitter sweet feeling of mix emotions that hasn’t gone away since that night. I could still feel the heat at the spots he had touched. I could still remember the look in his eyes that night. The look of longing. The same look I probably had for him as well, but don’t want to admit. “Dammit”, she whispered. Curse that night, why won’t it just leave me alone. Replaying once again, at a time like this. Quit torturing me like this. Quit making my heart rattle with uncertainty like this…

“We’re here,” she mumbled to herself as she pulled into a parking spot. Resting her head against the car’s head rest she slapped her cheeks several times, gently to wake herself up. Stop that Victoria. Don’t go there. She reminded herself. You came here because of work and nothing else. Just work…

Coming into the meeting room she had expected there to be some awkward tension between them, but there wasn’t. During the first hour meeting she held her composure, acting as professional as she could. Answering all the questions thrown at her by his staff while he acted assertive and uninterested in her words, it wasn’t the reaction she was expecting. She wasn’t sure if she should be happy that he’s ignoring her, or should she feel sad.

Going through the rest of the meeting in a breeze they had little to almost no interactions between the two of them. The only interaction they had exchanged with one another was when he had questions concerning the charity and that was all. She should be glad that he’s acting this way, but something inside her stir seeing him so close yet so far like this. It was a familiar feeling.

After the meeting was over, she exchanged a few words with Siwon’s employees before heading back to the hospital. Stepping into the elevator Siwon stepped in after her. She didn’t know why, but she had an urge to look at him and when she turned her glaze towards him all that was staring back at her was his back view, not his eyes. As the elevator pulled to a stop he got out at his floor and turned around to look at her as she had done so earlier. Without a word exchanged between them the elevator closed with their eyes locking onto one another until the very end and even when the door had long been closed, they were both still staring at the cold metal door.

Why is he being like this all of a sudden? The memories of their fight flashed in her mind. Her telling him to leave her alone. Telling him to treat her like a stranger from now on. Telling him she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore…Letting out a sigh, she shook her head. She didn’t get it. Why is he listening to what I’m saying all of a sudden?

This was what I had wanted right? So then why it hurts me so much when you’re like this…pounding her fist gently against the wall behind her, she looked up at the opened elevator door and whispered. “It’s better this way, Victoria…” Leaving the elevator, she headed towards her car and drove to the direction of hospital to continue the rest of her day as if nothing had happened.

The next two days went by the same way with their meetings. There were little to almost no interaction between them just like how the first meeting had gone. The only time they interacted with one another was when he had a question to ask her regarding the event and nothing more. While he was completely focusing all his concentration on the charity, she on the other hand, kept concentrating her thoughts on him. She didn’t understand how they could quickly switch roles like this. How did her mind end up thinking of his every moment instead of what she should be focusing on…?

No matter how hard she tries not to look in his direction she always finds her eyes following his every moment, unconsciously. He was right there in front of her and yet he’s so far away, just like before. They are strangers now just like she had hoped for and yet she hated it. Their only purpose and connection is this event and nothing else from now on and once the event is over, they won’t need to see each other anymore. Her last sentence made her heart tightened. Dammit…

Focusing back on the meeting, she realized he didn’t call her name out like he used to either. Dr. Song was the only way he addressed her and it made her heart squeeze hearing how cold and icy it came out. They really are strangers now. “Dr. Song, are there enough items to auction or did you want us to get more?” His voice rang out coldly in her ears, but his eyes didn’t meet her as he asked her the question.

Dammit! Look at me, I know you want to. She wanted to yell, but didn’t. “That should be good enough.” She answered calmly. Hearing her answer he turned to look at her and for a split second their eyes met before he pulled his gaze away from her. That one second was already enough to make her feel like the air was being out of her. Dammit, these feeling. Why now…

The elevator ride after the meeting was different this time. When he stepped out and the elevator door closed. There was no turning back to look at her this time around. When the elevator began moving she let out a soft sigh and pounded her fist against her chest. The sharp pain in her chest made her ache. “Stupid, he’s just doing what you ask him to do. So why are you hurting like this...?”

Arriving in her office the next day the phone rang the moment she stepped foot into her office. “Hello, this is Dr. Song speaking. How may I help you today?” Victoria asked, in her doctor-like tone.

“Hey Victoria,” Kris’s voice was in a low whisper, almost like a tremble. It was heartbreaking to hear.

“Hey Kris,” Victoria greeted as happily as she could. “How’s the business trip going so far?” She asked when she felt the silence between them was too quiet for comfort. “I know your busy, but you should still remember to rest. You still sound tired.”

“Are you going to go see him again today?” His voice was stern and yet sounded so nervous at the same time. This has been on his mind for a while now and he didn’t want to avoid this subject any longer. He had to know.

The sadness of his voice made her heart tightened. She knew she couldn’t avoid this anymore. She knew he would ask this question sooner or later, but even so she still had hoped he never asked.  “How did you know I am going there today?”

“I just know,” he answered softly. A part of him wanted her to lie, but another part of him knew if she did lie he would feel even worst. “You…you’ve…been seeing him for the past few days haven’t you?”

“Yeah.” Victoria answered in a low mumble.

“Do you…” have to go see him, he wanted to say, but stopped himself from saying those last few words. He knew he was just being a scared little immature brat about this whole ordeal, but could you blame him? Back then and even now, there were always secrets between Victoria and Siwon that he never knew about until it was too late. “Do you want to grab some lunch?” He asked nervously. “I’m back in town and we haven’t seen each other for a few days already…and…”

“I can’t grab lunch…” Victoria answered, but was interrupted before she could say the rest of her sentence.

“Oh” He spoke in between her words. “Okay. Never mind then. I’ll just catch up with you later…sometime...” He wanted to hang up because he’s not sure how much longer he could stay composed knowing she’ll be seeing Siwon today. What does that make it, four times this week already? Is it only about work…did he stay over again…

“Wait.” She chimed in, interrupting his imagination. “You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I have to eat lunch there since there’s a lot of work to go over, but I’ll be done with work by dinner time so do you want to grab some dinner together after I’m done?”

The way the word ‘there’ rolled off the tip of her tongue made Kris’ hearts winch. There is where he is…letting out a soft bitter chuckle he rubbed the back of his head and leaned back in his working chair. “Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s grab some dinner together. I’ll text you the place later.” He sounded like a nerve wreck as he replied. How uncool…I couldn’t even hold my composure, he thought as she said her goodbyes to him and then hung up. She sounded like she was a in a hurry. Probably in a hurry to get to ‘his’ side…

What am I to do, Victoria? How can I stay calm knowing you’ve been with him for the past few days while I have been shipped away by him on a business trip? I’m seriously going crazy here.  Letting out a deep sigh he placed his arm behind his head and rested on them. Did nothing really happen between the two of you that night? Is it just work?

This meeting was no different from the others before it. The only difference was her and it was clear evident of it. She would feel a sharp pain in her chest every time their eyes met one another, but he would always avert his gaze away from hers whenever they locked eyes for more than a second. His icy voice and the cold look in his eyes as he turned away made it hard to breathe. Why are you hurting? She asked herself, you wanted this right? You wanted it to be only about work and nothing else, right? You wanted him to treat you like some strange, right? So why do you feel like crying right now looking at his cold back view facing you…

“So Dr. Song, do you have any questions for us?” One of Siwon’s employees asked her, it made her remember where she was.

Not letting her personal feelings show she gave him a professional smile and shook her head. “I don’t have anything to ask. You guys have already gone over everything I could have been curious about.” She answered as coolly as possible.

“That’s good.” The employee smiled back at her.

The only thing uncomfortable about being here during these past few days was the way his employees had been staring at her from time to time, whispering and snickering behind her to one another. But then again this was to be expected considering what their first impression they had gotten of her. She wouldn’t call it a good one.

She and Siwon were fighting in front of the meeting room a few weeks back, shouting where everyone could hear and see. And on top of that Siwon was their boss. The capable and composed Siwon had thrown her over his shoulders and carried her into one of the meeting rooms. Their boss had kissed her while they all peeked through the opened door of the room. How could they forget such a fist encounter?

“Do you agree, Dr. Song?” His icy voice vibrated through her ears, pulling her back to reality. She could hear his faint footsteps in the distance coming closer towards her. She could feel his gaze burning her back, but she didn’t dare turn around. He’s been avoiding her this whole time, even if she turned around to meet his gaze he would probably pull away; avoiding her. “Aren’t you going to answer me, Dr. Song?” His voice was closer than ever. The closest it’s been in days. Even closer than their elevator ride. It was almost as if he was whispering against her ears, sweetly and yet it left such a bitter taste in . The cold harsh tone of his voice was directed at a stranger.

She could smell his cologne beside her within a few seconds. Damn him. God dammit. She closed her eyes and opened them instantly. All willpower had left her. Dammit, how did things turn out this way? Turning around slowly their gaze met one another and for a split second it stayed glued to one another before he pulled away, averting her gaze once again. What is this feeling, she wondered as she turned back around to look at the papers in her hand. “I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention.” She managed a feeble whisper. Her voice was shaky and trembling with pain.

Dammit…why are you like this? How can you be shaken up like that just because he’s doing what you wanted all along? Why do u want to cry just because he’s not looking at you...she looked downward at the paper and held it tightly in her gasp as she blinked a few times? Now that she has acknowledge her feelings it’s hard to ignore his existence anymore. How much longer can she ignore her heart that’s trembling with pain every time he’s near; treating her like a stranger?

She couldn’t wait to get out of there as fast enough. After the meeting was over she shook hands with everyone and dashed out of that room in a hurry. Hoping he wouldn’t follow in after, but he did. Stepping into the elevator she saw Siwon stepping into it as well. Once again, here they are. This time he turned and looked at her as he stepped into the elevator and after their eyes locked onto one another for a brief second before he pulled his gaze away, leaving her heart aching once again.

During the one minute elevator ride that felt like an hour long, they didn’t say a word to one another. It was as if she was re-living the past, watching his cold back view turn away from hers while she’s staring at him all longingly. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

…she blinked back a couple more times, knowing she’s unable to hold it in any longer. The moment the elevator door flew open up she dashed out of there in a hurry. It wasn’t even her floor, but she just didn’t want to take the chance of him turning to see her teary face. As tears stream down her cheeks she ran towards the emergency staircase and downwards towards the parking lot. Seeing her car she dashed towards it and fumble to open the car door.

Putting her keys in car she started the engine, but didn’t move an inch. She wanted to drive far away as she possible could, but she couldn’t put the gear in drive. She was unable to control her shaking hands.

Resting her head on the steering wheel, she let out a sob. She didn’t understand herself. She doesn’t understand at all. Isn’t this what she’s been wanting all along? She wanted him to act as if they were strangers. She wanted him to leave her alone and yet when he’s doing just as she demanded him to, she’s the one who’s suffocating from their distance...

Why does it hurt so much when you do as I say…She wanted this, she’s been fighting with him for the past few months about this and yet, when she’s getting what she’s been begging for, she’s not happy at all. She hates it. It hurts just like back then.

Ahh, stupid. If you didn’t acknowledge your feelings for him, you could probably still keep a straight face when looking at him. But’s it’s too late now, your walls are slowly breaking down now that you can’t stop these feelings any longer…What are you to do? You can’ keep a straight face and pretend like you don’t care anymore…

This is like opening Pandora’s Box, you kept things hidden for so long and once it’s unleased, everything just explodes and you have so little to almost no control over anything anymore. Even if she wants to stop, she can’t anymore. Damn her heart for finally winning the victory of it all.

Just then, through the radio she heard her name. “Miss. Victoria are you listening? The caller didn’t want to leave his name, but he said you’ll know who he is once you listen to the song. To Miss. Victoria if you are listening the message he wants us to tell you is, I’m sorry that I love you. He said he’s sorry for not holding on in the past and he’s sorry for not being able to let you go in the future. He dedicates Boa’s Heaven & Hell to you, so let’s now let’ have a listen to the song.” The song began playing on the radio which made Victoria sob even more.

“Just ing great…why”, she whispered. She hates that he could see right through her every emotions. He probably knew what she has been struggling with all along and yet…“If you know I’m still in love with you, don’t give me such a song…stupid…you should have pretended you didn’t know…for the sake of the both of us.” Tilting her head back she listened to the song. This love really does make me feel like being stuck in heaven and hell…haha…if you knew, then why can’t you just let me go? Playing this stupid love game with me hurts…She chuckled bitterly through sobs. “If you know all along than don’t make me feel stuck between these feelings just like back then…hope and despair…what a joke…”

Just then the phone rang. It made her flinch hearing it ring. She didn’t want to answer it, but it could have been the hospital calling with an emergency. Digging it out her purse she looking down at the name on the caller id. Taking a deep breathe she wiped her tears. “Hey,” she answered, trying to sound as composed as she possible could.

“Hey” Kris greeted. His voice was cold and unemotional. “Are you done yet?”

“Yeah.” She usually had more to say, but she didn’t want to say too much to him. She didn’t want him to find out that she has been crying because that would only lead to questioning.

“Are you still around that place?” Kris asked.

“Yeah.” Victoria answered.

“I’m also around that area. I know there’s a nice little Italian bistro nearby there. Let’s go there?” His voice was stern and hard. No trace of anything for Victoria to know how he’s feeling.

“Sure.” Victoria whispered.

“I’ll text you the address. See you in a bit then.” Kris hung up after that.

Letting out a soft sigh Victoria wiped the rest of her tears away from her face as the song slowly come to an end. Looking at her face in the mirror she knew she needed to retouch her makeup before heading to the restaurant. If Kris saw her face right now, he would definitely know she had been crying.

What is she supposed to say? How can she tell Kris she had been crying because she was shaken up by her meetings with Siwon? That she had opened the forbidden Pandora’s Box, which resulted in an explosion of feelings that she can no longer continue to ignore anymore; that she can’t stop herself from loving Siwon…

As these thoughts ran through her mind she could feel the tears begin to swell up again as she thought of the lyrics to Boa’s song. Don’t say you’re sorry that you love me, stupid. Don’t love me…taking in a deep breathe she composed herself.

After she was done retouching her makeup and was satisfied with the results, she put her car on D and began driving away. Pulling out of the parking lot, she headed towards the direction the GPS had instructed. “Why do you care about him now...just because you can’t hide your feelings anymore doesn’t mean you should go around crying because he’s cold to you. Forget him, Victoria. His love will only bring you heartbreak in the end…” She reminded herself.

Seeing Victoria’s car pull away from the parking lot, Kris slammed his fist on the steering wheel of his car, hard. He didn’t mean to come here, like a stalker to see what she was doing, but he just can’t trust Siwon. Kris never knows what Siwon’s next move is and he doesn’t want Siwon to get another opportunity to be with Victoria again like he was that night. He just came her to make sure she could get away from Siwon. He came to make sure that there isn’t anything going on between the two…

Letting out a grunt, he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Don’t look like that after seeing him, Victoria…don’t cry for him…I hate seeing you in pain because of him. “I don’t even know why I am here…” He muttered bitterly before pulling his car out of the parking lot.

At the restaurant they ate like usual, chatting about things like shopping, food and his recent business trip. Kris talked about the people he had met during his business trip to New York and about the food he had when he went there. Even though he was laughing and acting merrily in front of her, Victoria knew that the laughter was forced and most likely just a mask hiding his real feelings.

As they continued to talk, Kris avoided bringing up the subject of her visit to Siwon’s office because after seeing her cry like that he was scared to know what her answer to his curiosity would be.

“The food here is super good. We should go here again next time,” Victoria looked up at Kris and smiled sweetly at him. “Thanks for inviting me.” She gave him a friendly hug, briefly before breaking away from his gasp.

Letting go of her, but not wanting to he whispered “sure.” He smiled back at her. A force smile, but still a smile. “Talk to you soon.” And with that they parted ways.

Since when have I become such a coward, he wondered. Love can make you braver, but it can also turn you into a coward. Letting out a sigh, he whispered softly as he watched her back view walking away.  “Hurry up and look at me, Victoria. I can’t stay calm much longer…”

 

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This was their last meeting day until the charity event and once again he didn’t give her any special attention nor did he bring up that radio song dedication. Seeing his indifferent attitude towards her made her ache. He was the one that dedicated that song to her, right? She questioned in a puzzling way, of course it’s him. Who else would it be, if not him? So why are you doing such things when I’m not around and then go around avoiding me when we are face to face like this? Letting out a soft groan of frustration, she hates that she’s caring about all of this, all of a sudden. She never cared about this before. Never care about it until now.

The meeting this time carried on later than usual. Looking at his watch, Siwon grinned as he looked up and shouted. “Let’s call it a day, people. Good work today. I know you’re all probably hungry right now so how about we all go out to dinner, my treat?” Siwon looked at everyone, but Victoria as he asked.

“Yeah, let go! I’m so hungry.” One of the male employees urge on. And the others agreed. “I want Japanese food,” another person shouted. “How about Chinese food?” Another one insisted.

“You’re coming too, right?” An attractive female employed with a short bob turned to Victoria and asked.

“Uhhh…I’m good. I’m not really hungry…” Victoria lied. She peeked up at Siwon, but he didn’t even glance in her direction the slightest. Turning her attention back to the girl she spoke, “thanks for the offer, though.”

“Are you sure?” The female employee pouted. “Honestly speaking we’re all kind of looking forward to talking to you and getting to know you better since we’ve been working together a few times already, but you always leave right after our meetings are over so quickly that we haven’t gotten a good chance to talk to you.” In a low whisper enough for only the two of them to hear she spoke again, “truth be told. All of us are kind of curious about what’s the relationship between you and our president since I remember seeing you a while ago with him.”

Feeling uncomfortable about the question Victoria couldn’t hide her embarrassment. She didn’t know how to answer this question except to let out an awkward laugh. This was awkward. How is she supposed to answer this question? I’m used to be madly in love with your boss, but he rejected me and got engaged? And even now, I’m still in love with the man who left me because I can’t let seem to let go?

Tugging on Victoria’s arm the girl frowned, “are you really not going to come?”

“Yee…” before Victoria could finish her sentence another girl interrupted.

“You’re coming, right Dr. Song.” Her loud voice made everyone turn their head towards them, even Siwon.

“You’re not coming?” Victoria heard a male voice question her. “What, no way! Come, Dr. Song.” She heard other voices whine in the distance, urging her to go.

“I don’t know…” Victoria smiled weakly, looking down at her feet.

“Come!” More people shouted. “This is our last meeting together…well this month at least…we should at least eat together, at least this once.” another person shouted.

Feeling slightly pressured by everyone’s glaze she looked over at Siwon and saw that he was no longer looking at her. A swelling feeling began building inside of her seeing how distance he has become these past few days. “Fine…I’ll go…” she muttered softly.

“Great!” One of the guys had shouted, excitedly.

Seeing his reaction, one of his friend pulled him closer and whispered something in his ear. As his friend talk, he would look from Victoria to Siwon then back to Victoria. Letting out a sigh Victoria began packing her stuff ignoring the gossiping once again. She could imagine what his friend had just told him just from seeing his shocked expression; staring in bewilderment at the both of them. Oh god…why can’t people just mind their own damn business.

Arriving at the restaurant later than everyone else, she had to sit at the only available chair, which was directly across from Siwon’s seat. Just great, I have to sit across from ‘him’…he doesn’t even want to talk to me. She could tell that this was a set up by a few of his employees just by the way they would react when she had asked to change seats with someone else.

After ordering the food and drinks, they began having their little ‘questioning’ game. “President, it’s the first time we’re eating with you!” One of the male’s employee beside him spoke in an exciting tone. From the looks of it, we can tell this guy was the kisser type.

“Yeah! You rarely go out with us. You’re always either cooped up in your office working behind closed doors, or working until late at night or leave early to attend some meeting. So we rarely get a chance to talk and eat with you.” A female beside Victoria pouted. Victoria could tell this employee wanted to do more than just ‘eat’ dinner together with the look in her eyes. Oh god…is this dinner going to be all about ‘boss Siwon’?

“Well I’m a busy man.” Siwon chuckled, flashing them his most charismatic smile. Apparently he could talk calmly and look at everyone except her. Seeing his smile made Victoria feel extremely bitter about agreeing to go along with this dinner. Taking a big sip of her wine Victoria let the wine cool her off.

“Seeing you like this, you don’t seem all that scary.” The first male employee poured Siwon a glass of wine a he continued. “It’s the first time we see you laugh like this. Normally you’re always yelling and being expressionless.”

“Of course I have to be strict. It’s my job to make sure you guys get your work done right,” he smirked. It made all the females sigh, swooning on impact when they saw his boyish grin.

“We’ve been curious for a while now…” hearing one of the girls began to speak, Victoria stop dead in her track, feeling nervous about the question that would be coming out of the girls mouth. “Do you have a girlfriend? We’ve been curious about this for quite a while now. The female employees are constantly debating about your status since we’ve never seen you with a girlfriend nor do you talk about your personal life…and besides, you’re rich, handsome, successful and very charming. It would be odd that with all your qualities you’re still single, but if you are single maybe there’s hope for us to have a chance with you.” The girl joked.

“I might be single, but I would never date an employee. I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.” Siwon answered coolly. That answer was an instant K.O.

“You’re such a great catch, well at least that’s what the girls would say. They basically worship the ground you walk on, swooning every time they see you. Why are you still single?” The guy beside Siwon frowned. “If your single than what hope do we, the rest of the guys at work have at romance? All the girls want you!”

“I’m a great catch?” Siwon chuckled. His tone was full of sarcasm.

“All the girls think so. So seriously, why are you still single?” Another female asked, curiously. It was the first time that their boss was willing to talk about personal matters with them and they aren’t going to let this great chance slip by without asking some questions they’ve all been curious about.

“Ask Dr. Song.” Siwon glanced over at Victoria and their eyes locked onto one another for a few seconds before he turned his attention away, towards his wine glass on the table. Picking up the glass he took a sip of it while everyone else stared from him to Victoria.

“What?” Victoria heard her name, but didn’t really follow the conversation to know why her name was coming out of his mouth. She had been stealing glances at him every now and then, but her mind was somewhere else.

“Ohhh, so the rumors were true.” One of the males spoke louder than he should have. Even without hearing the conversation Victoria could kind of guessed what they were talking about by that guys tone and by the way everyone was staring at her and Siwon.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about.” Victoria answered calmly and picked up her wine glass, feeling hot and annoyed by the situation she gulped down the rest of her wine in one go before pouring herself another glass.

“Rumors have been going around the office for a while now, saying you and our boss are in some sort of relationship, but truthfully it’s hard to tell if they are true or not considering how you guys act around each other.” The guy beside Victoria looked slightly scared talking about it. “During our meetings you guys hardly talk to each other nor do you guys show any signs of you guys being together so we’re not sure if the rumors are true or not...”

“We don’t have any sort of relationship with each other…we’re just two strangers who happens to be working on the same project that’s all…and to clear up the misunderstanding. Siwon and I are definitely not in the type of relationship you guys are all thinking either...” Victoria smiled faintly while answering the question in a calm tone, but her insides were anything but calm.

Some of the people looked at Victoria questionable, while others looked at Siwon, waiting for him to answer or say something regarding her comment, but he didn’t say anything. He just sat there, smiling at them. That was anything, but reassuring. She could tell that his workers were still uncertain if she was telling the truth or not because of Siwon.

“Are you sure?” Another girl asked.

Before Victoria could reply, another girl chimed in first. “I swear you guys are in some sort of relationship. I was there that one time. I saw you and Siwon at the corridor of one of the meeting rooms before. You guys didn’t seem like strangers…”

“How can I not be sure of my relationships?” Victoria fired back. Her voice was slightly harsher than she had intended to be.

Seeing Victoria’s unhappy expression made Siwon’s heart string pull. Before anyone could say anything else, he spoke up. “To her, I’m someone she wants to forget; she hates me. And for me, she is someone I can’t let go of; I love her. That’s all I’ll say. So let’s stop the questioning okay. The food is here already.”

After Siwon had spoken up, his employees didn’t dare ask anymore. The rest of the dinner went by quickly without another word regarding that subject.

 

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The moment she had arrived home after that dinner party she heard her phone ring the moment she stepped inside. Picking up the phone she was greeted by a drunken Kris.

“Victoreaa…” Kris called out to her, in an aeygo child-like tone. “Howd da enner wid Iwon (How was dinner with Siwon)?”

“What did you say? I can’t understand you.” Victoria answered back, sounding worried. “Are you wasted? You sound totally drunk.”

“No...Eii, not runk. (No. I’m not drunk)” he whispered. “I miss chuuu…” Hearing her silence on the other line, he spoke once more. “I wat to ee you, can you come to me (I want to see you. Can you come to me)?” His words slowly became clearer as he spoke. Was he really drunk or was he just pretending to be? She wondered.

“I’m tired, Kris. I just got home…and…” She managed to answer. Her heart ached hearing his distressing voice on the other line. She was already feeling uneasy after Siwon had averted gaze from her these past few days and now, hearing Kris’s pleading voice made things even harder for her.

“But I want to see you…let me see you…” His voice was trembling as he begged. “Please…please…” he whispered softly against the phone.

Hearing his restless sigh on the other line, she gave in to his demand. “Okay,” she whispered back. “I’ll go...”

“I’ll text you the address.” Kris answered instantly. He sounds overly excited about this. Kris didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind so he hung up after he replied back to her and texted her the address.

Arriving there at the bar 20 minutes later, she saw Kris at the corner of her eyes. He was sitting with a few friends at the table a few feet away from the bar. “Hey,” she called out as she got closer to where he was. Standing right behind him she smacked his back playfully. Even without seeing her face he could tell it was her just by hearing her talk.

Turning around he gave her a boyish before greeting her back. “Hey,” he whispered in a breathlessly as he looked up at her, the girl that had stolen his heart and never gave it back. She was here beside him. She came when he called. He didn’t care that she was with Siwon until now. All that mattered was that she was here, with him.

“Hi!” A cute looking boy sitting beside Kris stood up and held out his hand out towards Victoria. Grinning cutely he introduced himself. “I’m Kris’s best friend, LuHan. It’s so great to finally meet you.”

The way his last sentence came out made Victoria nervous. Shaking his hand she smiled back at him and introduced herself. “Hi. Nice to meet you too. I’m Victoria.” She paused as she didn’t know how she should introduce herself as. She should say she’s Kris’s friend too, but that would probably hurt Kris hearing her constant reminder of what he is to her.

Seeing her conflict facial expression he chuckled. “You’re really cute, just like the stories I hear about you.”

“Thanks…” Victoria answered feeling uncomfortable. “Stories?”

“It’s nothing to worry about. It’s nothing bad.” LuHan smiled at her. “Have a seat.” He ushered her to sit before calling the waiter over to order a beer for her. “WE should exchange numbers.” His fierce approach startled Victoria. He playfully Victoria’s hand while looking at Kris to see his reaction.

Slapping LuHan’s hand away Kris pushed him further away from Victoria. “Hey! Just because I don’t talk doesn’t mean I’m not here.” Kris kicked LuHan in the knee. “You can’t have her…Don’t even think about hitting on her. She’s out of your league…Don’t you dare touch her…how could I let you touch her when I can’t even touch her…” He looked at her then turned away after their eyes met, grabbing the bottle of alcohol beside him and poured himself a glass.

Taking a seat beside Kris, the other guys and girls greeted her and introduced themselves to her while Kris just sat there drinking his alcohol and watching her every moves. Even though she was talking to the other people her eyes were always fixed on Kris, worrying about what’s going through his mind as he stare at her.

After 10 minutes had gone by, Kris still hasn’t said a word to her besides their greeting. She wanted to talk to him, but his friends were constantly talking to her; questioning her about Kris and herself. Every time she looks over at him, he would just let out a sigh and pour himself another drink. “Kr…”Before she could ask him anything some girls came by the table and looked over at him. “Guess who!” One girl placed her hands over Kris’s eyes. “It’s me!” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and released her hand so that he could get a good look at her.

“Oh you came again today, oppa.” Another girl spoke up. She walked from behind the first girl over to where Kris sat. “You’ve been coming here more than usual, oppa.” Bending down she gave him a quick peck on the other cheek. “Miss me, oppa?” She whispered sweetly in his ear.

While the girls were giving Kris their full attention, his gaze was still fixed on Victoria. He wanted to see what her reaction would be, seeing such a scene but there was no response from her. It ached, knowing she didn’t care. That she’s not jealous seeing other girls throw themselves at him. Picking up the glass on the table, he finished the rest of its content.

Not seeing a response from him the girls felt slightly embarrassed by the situation, but wanted to look as if they didn’t care so they pretended to act indifference by his coldness. “Remember to buy us a drink and come see us after your friends had gone home,” the first girl spoke and gave Kris a kiss on the cheeks and turned away. Her friend kissed his cheek as well, whispering something in his ears before standing up and following the first girl.

“Have you been coming here a lot” Victoria asked, curiously as she looked at the girls who were still staring at this table even though they were sitting far away.

“Are you jealous?” Kris crocked his head to the side and looked at her with unyielding eyes. His expression was serious and yet she could sense sadness behind his glaze.

“You shouldn’t drink so much, it’s not good.” Victoria smiled sweetly at him and turned away, looking at her drink on the table. Don’t look at me that way. Her heart stung. If you know what my answer will be, why bother asking such a question…

His heart was twitching in pain seeing her glaze pull away from him.  “Why aren’t you jealous? They were touching me. They even kissed me and told me to come over later. That’s telling me to sleep with them…so why aren’t you jealous when you hear those words? Even a tiny bit of jealous would have made me happy…even if you’re not jealous can’t you just pretend to be…” Seeing Victoria’s silence made Kris close his eyes and turn away. A feeling of regret washed over him. “Don’t answer that.”

“You rarely drink before so why are you drinking so much lately…” Victoria tried to steer the conversation to a different topic.

“I’ve always been a huge drinker. You just aren’t around enough to know.” His words came out harsher than he had wanted it to or did they come out exactly how he had wanted it to. He’s not certain of himself at this moment.

“But you don’t always go drinking like this…” Her voice trailed off. He was right. She doesn’t know, but she always pretends like she does. “You can talk to me about anything you know…”

“You should know why I’m drinking so much lately…” His words were sharp and icy. Not hearing an answer from Victoria after a few seconds had gone by he let out a soft sigh and tilted his head back against the sofa cushion. Even though his head was rested on the sofa cushion his glaze were fixed on her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered softly. She knew he had become somewhat depressed recently, especially after finding out that Siwon had slept over her house and also finding out that she’s been working with Siwon; constantly seeing Siwon probably made Kris feel unhappy. She knew all this had made Kris feel miserable, but what could she do about it? Kris had told her, he was fine so she didn’t want to pressure him to talk because everything she says he might take it as her feeling guilty or her pitting him and she doesn’t want him to feel that way.

“I don’t want to hear you say that word….I hate hearing you say that word…it hurts…your apology hurts...” He swallowed hard, but he didn’t take his eyes off of her. Your apologies feels like rejection to me.

“If I can’t even say sorry to you than what do you want me to say to make you feel better?” Victoria placed her hands on his cheeks, holding his face in her palm tenderly while looking at straight in the eyes as she spoke. “Tell me.” She hated seeing him like this. She hated seeing her old self in him, but she doesn’t know how to help him either. She couldn’t help herself back then so how can she help him. “What do you want me to say?”

“You already know…why do you even bothering asking me?” Seeing her pull her hands away and resting beside her made his heart twitch. Sitting up he reached his hands out and caressed her cheeks in the palm of his hand. Her cheeks are so soft against my rough fingers, he thought. If I touch you, will you shatter? Will you disappear because I’m selfish? But even if you want to leave I can’t let you. I’m selfish and possessive. I can’t help, but want to touch you even if it means you’ll try and run away. I can’t stop myself from loving you because I still want you for me.

Looking deeply into her eyes he stared at her without a word passed between them, smothering her with his affectionate gaze. “Can’t it be me?” His voice was full of sorrow. Those few words left his mouth in a tremble.

“…Kris…” she called out his name.

Hearing her call his name out that way, aches. “I know I haven’t grown….I thought I grew up during those 10 years you were gone, but recently I have come to realize I haven’t grown, at all. When I found out he was over at your house…in your bed, I couldn’t help but feel like I was defeated. My imaginations ran wild and it was unbearable as I imagined you in his arms. I couldn’t help feeling like I’m going crazy with these thoughts and I couldn’t stop myself from blowing up at you either. It just makes me so mad every time I feel like you are hiding something from me…even if it hurts me to hear things, I don’t want you to hide things from me. I don’t want him to know things about you, or reach a spot that I can’t come close to touching. I don’t want him to know things that I don’t. I’m being childish, but I don’t care.”

“I just...I…” Letting out a soft sigh, he let it all out. “I….I realized I’m not as calm as I want to be. I’m not as mature as I thought I’d be. I’m just a restless immature brat who’s been sulking for the past few days because his favorite toy was taken away from him. But even so, can’t you give the childish me a chance? I thought about it. I’m really no match for Siwon. I am not good at pretending to be a good guy like he can. I don’t have patience to wait like he does. I’m not like him, I can’t be calm when you’re in front of me. I can’t let anyone have you because I’m selfish…I can’t let anyone touch you because it’ll drive me insane, especially if it’s Siwon. I don’t want him to take you away from me again…Can’t you see I’m nearly drowning in this thing called love because of you? Can’t you just save me from this insanity that’s driving me crazy?”

“…Kris” Victoria called out once more. Her voice was full of agony as she called out his name while looking at him with a sorrowful look.

“Don’t look like that while calling out my name…” he whispered, and her cheeks once more. Letting out a deep sigh he took his hand away from her cheek and rested both his hand around her body, loosely. Leaning forward Kris rested his forehead on her shoulders. “I know you love him. Even if you won’t say it to my face, I know you do. You can’t deny the look in your eyes when he’s around. I just know you love him…still…But even knowing this…can’t you be with me? I know you’re not completely over him. I don’t mind…I just…” His desperate voice made it hard for her to breathe.

Tilting his head up, he looked at her from the corner of her eyes and reached his hand up once more, brushing her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. “Don’t look so sad...please. I know what I’m asking so don’t look at me that way…” He begged in a soft whisper.

“Whether you agree to be with me because you’re feeling guilty for the past or you’re agreeing with me out of pity or even if you’re just saying it because you feel sorry for me, I don’t mind. Just be with me.” She could hear the desperate pleading in his voice as he spoke. “I won’t tell you to forget him or even tell you to love me more than him, so can’t you stay by my side? I won’t expect anything from you so just use me to get over him…I don’t mind being used by you…” He looked up at her and stared at her without pulling away. When he felt her glaze drifting off to look somewhere else he pulled her eyes back at him with a brush of his fingers against her chin.

He knows he’s being foolish and reckless with his proposal, but he’s exhausted of everything. He’s tired of this restless feeling he’s been having being away from her while knowing she’s beside Siwon. He just stand this idea of Siwon being near Victoria anymore because when he thinks about it all that comes to his mind is them being in bed together. It drives him insane to know he’s letting another chance slip away.

“I know what I’m asking is foolish and childish, but don’t you see how much I love you? I don’t want to see you cry for him again…” remembering her crying in the car the other day made his heart ache. “I don’t want you to be hurt because of him anymore. I want to take that pain away so be with me. I promise I’ll make you happy. I’ll do everything I can to make you forget him so stay by my side.”  His voice was trembling as he spoke. “I know you want to forget him too…so just let me help you…”

“I…I can’t Kris…the feelings I have for you and for him are different. I can’t just use you…” Victoria’s voice was weary.

“It’s not that you can’t. It’s that you won’t…” His voice was serious. It was the truth and she knew it, but he’s asking to be hurt by her with this foolish request. “I told you, I don’t mind already. I already know that your love for me is different from your love for him so don’t say you can’t to this…or that it won’t work…I don’t need you to love me. Love can grow over time. I just need you by my side.”

“I’m selfish you know. You won’t be able to please me.” Victoria’s voice was tense as she spoke about her bad points.

“Even if I can’t please you 100%, I’ll try my best to give you everything.” Kris picked up her hands and kissed her pinky finger.

“I am stubborn you know. I always have to get my way…” Victoria’s voice was trembling.

“I don’t mind giving into you if it means you’re mine.” He kissed her ring ringer after he spoke.

“I’m not good with expressing my feelings…it’ll hurt you when I don’t open up.” Victoria let out a sigh. This was one of her worst traits. She had hurt so many people because of this and Kris is just going to get hurt.

“Even if it hurts at times, as long as you’re with me, I’ll endure it all.” Kris kissed her middle finger gently.

“I’m insecure about love…I’m really scared of that word.” Victoria looked down at her fingers that he’s holding on so tightly with.

“We can both be insecure and scared of that word together. I’m sure as time goes by, we’ll learn to embrace it.” Kris kissed the last two fingers and kissed her hand gently and affectionately.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love with you or if I’ll ever get over him. I don’t know if being with me will ever make you happy or will it caused you more pain…you’re always there for me, to let me cry on your shoulder. Always by my side to listen to me. Always there to cheer me up. You’re always looking at me while I keep searching for him…I am not sure how long it’ll take me to get over him or if I’ll ever get over him and I can’t drag you with me, Kris…I can’t hurt you because of my own selfishness…my own uncertainty about the future and about love.”

“I don’t care, Victoria. I want you and that’s all there is to it. Take all the time you need to get over him. I’ve waited for you for 10 years already. What’s’ another 10 years or a two or even three. As long as you are there beside me, I’ll wait with you…” Kris pulled her closer to him. Holding her tightly in his arms. “You can’t hurt me anymore than I’ve already been hurt…”

“I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness Kris…don’t…” Victoria struggled to push him away, but his gasp on her tighten.

Interrupting her he spoke. “And I told you. I want this. I want you to be with me no matter what that means….don’t you want to move forward from that painful love? You know you can’t be with him. You know you can’t get over him. You’re at a stalemate because you won’t move from your current position. You aren’t dating because you don’t want to get over him and yet you aren’t with him because you can’t go back to the past. You have to take a step somewhere, Victoria. You can’t just stand in this same position for the rest of your life. I’ll help you forget him so don’t say no…” he begged. Pulling himself away from her loosely he looked at her as he spoke. “I’ll be his replacement so stay by my side.”

Staring at each other for a few minutes she could see how serious he was. How much he has thought about this. Does he really want this? Why do you want to get hurt, Kris…nothing goes as you plan, especially love. I don’t want to hurt you even if you say it’s okay too…

Taking his hands he her cheeks once again. “Don’t over think it Victoria. The moment you over think it, you’re going to say no. So don’t think…just agree.”

After another long pause between them while still continually stare at each other. She took in a deep breathe. “Fine…” she whispered, in a low soft tone. She didn’t know why she’s agreeing with his crazy proposition, but she is.

Pulling his hand away from her, he looked down at her, feeling shocked by her words. “Repeat that…” he demanded in bewilderment. He couldn’t believe she’s agreed to his wild proposal without much thought, but she did. He thought he’d have to say it a few more times before she finally agrees, but it only took one time to convince her.

“I’ll be with you…” she whispered softly, unable to even believe what she’s agreeing to.

“Are you being serious here?” He asked once more, feeling astound.  

“Yeah…” she smiled faintly at him. This is for the best, Victoria. If you give a new love a chance instead of holding on to the old one, you’ll be able to finally let go…Kris and Gyuri were both right, they could see that were becoming desperate to get over Siwon. Always talking about forgetting him and stuff, but in reality you put no efforts to forget him. You constantly think of him and constantly let him get to you and play with your emotions. You always say you want to leave him in the past, but you become sad when he’s leaving you first; ignoring you lately. Let go of him before he gets a chance to let go of you again. Don’t let him get a chance to hurt you for a second time again. It’s time for you move forward now that Siwon has finally start doing as you wanted him to.

You should have done this in the first place. You should have given K a chance from the start; picking someone who loves you more than you love them will be less painful than picking someone who you desperate want love from.

Without much thought he held her tightly in his arms. “I’ll definitely make you happy…I’ll make you forget him and bring you more happiness than he could have.” He gave her a small kissed against the side of her hair. “I’ll love you with everything I got.”

“Yeah...please make me happy.” She whispered. She wasn’t sure if this was the right choice or wrong choice to use him, but she needed to move forward. If she could fall in love with Kris over time, wouldn’t that be great? She hopes she can love him…

“I’ll do my damn hardest to earn your love…” Kris the back of Victoria’s head, patting her head like that of a child.

“I’ll try my hardest to fall in love with you…” she hugged him back and he tightened his grip on her. Because this love will be less painful than the last…

 

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Walking into the house, Gyuri looked up and saw Victoria stand at the front door. “Oh…you’re back so late today.” Gyuri looked up at the clock and then back to Victoria.

“Yeah…” Victoria couldn’t look Gyuri in the eyes as she answered.

“Is something wrong? You look…” Gyuri began, but Victoria interrupted her.

“I’m fine…nothing’s wrong.” Victoria looked over at Gyuri and gave her a faint smile. Even when she looked over, she didn’t look directly in Gyuri’s eyes.

“Are you sure?” Gyuri asked, looking extremely worried. “You know you can tell me. I won’t judge.”

“I know…” Victoria whispered back. “Did I tell you, you’re the greatest friend anyone could ask for?” Victoria smiled cunningly at Gyuri.

Eyeing Victoria suspiciously Gyuri couldn’t let this go. “Now you just realized that? I’ve always been the greatest. Anyways…seriously. What’s wrong? Don’t hide from me, Victoria. We fought last week and I don’t want you to put distance between us because of that.” Gyuri tilted her head against the pillow.

“It’s not that big of a deal…I just agreed to date Kris, that’s all. Does that count as something, major?” She looked away again.

“Oh…” Gyuri thought and after a second her eyes widen. In a shouting tone as she had just registered Victoria’s statement she couldn’t hide her disbelief. “What?! What do you mean by that?” She asked in total bewilderment. “Date Kris?”

“Why are you so surprised?” Victoria let out soft chuckle.

The laugh sounded so forced and unnatural. It made Gyuri sigh hearing it. “Why all of a sudden? I though…” her voice trailed off, not knowing how to approach the sentence. There was so much she wanted to say about this. “I didn’t think you like him that way.”

“I thought long and hard about it for the past few days and I come to realize that you were right. For the longest time you’ve been telling me to get over a past love, you would need a new one to replace it. You need a new excitement to get rid of the old one. You keep telling me that the reason I can’t get over Siwon is because I am not even giving anyone a chance to be with me because I don’t want to move on. And that I won’t love and no one will love me if I don’t give myself and them a chance to. You were right all along, Gyuri and I just realize it now.”

“But…” Gyuri trailed off. She didn’t know what to say.

“Aren’t you happy for me, Gyuri? I’m finally taking my first step forward and not hiding in the shadows anymore. Aren’t you happy for me?” Victoria smiled was full of sadness, making Gyuri unable to answer her question. “Say you’re happy for me, Gyuri. Say you’re on my side no matter what the choice is…”

“You know I’ll always be on your side, silly.” Gyuri smiled back, but the smile faded fast. In a low whisper she spoke cautiously, “is this the choice you really want?”

“It is...” Victoria came over and gave Gyuri a hug. “So be happy for me, okay?” Pulling away she gave Gyuri a quick peck on the cheeks. “I’m going to go shower and go to sleep, so good night.”

Entering her room, instead of heading to the shower, she flopped herself down on the bed. Why did you even agree to it Victoria…you said you won’t hurt Kris, but aren’t you hurting him by accepting his proposal? He caught you when you are at your weakest…He knows that Siwon has been affecting you lately. He knows that you can’t stop yourself from falling for Siwon all over again and yet…he wants you to be with him during the time you’re the most confused about everything…He knows you’re desperate to get over Siwon, especially now that Siwon has been ignoring you.

Letting out a sigh she rolled over to her side. Why did you agree to this, stupid? Closing her eyes she let out another soft sigh. I’m scared of myself when Siwon’s around. Ever since that night…my mind has been messed up ever since then and I’m scared of what I’ll do now that I can’t stop myself anymore. I want to love him, but I’m scare of his love. This was the easy way out of everything for me…running away from his love and my love for him…choosing this way I won’t be hurt by him again.

Try to love Kris…you can’t hurt him like how Siwon hurts you. Try your all to fall in love with him.

The next day during breakfast Gyuri kept staring at Victoria, watching her every action.

“Is there something on my face? Why do you keep staring at me, Park Gyuri?” Victoria tilted her head to the side and looked at Gyuri curiously. “I know I’m pretty, but please stop staring at me like that. It’s making me feel very shy.” Victoria teased, playfully.

It doesn’t look like she cried last night. She’s acting normal, but even so…”are you really happy?” Gyuri asked. She really can’t get over this question.

“Yes I am.” Victoria pushed Gyuri arms gently. “Why, do you rather want me to be sad and depress? How mean of you. And you call yourself my best friend.”

The way you look is completely opposite of your words right now Victoria. If only you can see how miserable you look right now. Do you really want this because I don’t think you do? “Let’s go out this weekend! We haven’t gone out together in so long.” Gyuri smiled faintly and rested her head on Victoria’s shoulders.

“I can’t this weekend.” Victoria took bite of her cereal after she spoke.

“Why not?” Gyuri sat up and looked at Victoria with a pouty expression.

“I have a date with Kris this weekend. We’ve been saying we’ll go to the amusement park together, but we’re always too busy to go. We keep on postponing it until now. We’re finally both available this weekend to go.”

“OHHH!” Gyuri sounded super excited as she spoke. “I want to go too! I haven’t been there yet. Take me too.”

“Are you crashing my first date?” Victoria asked in a mocking tone as she narrowed her eyes at Gyuri.

“Maybe…, but I want to go to the amusement park too…” Gyuri gave Victoria a pouty look as she continued to whine. “I’ll even take a date so that I won’t seem like a third wheel. So let me come along, okay? It’ll be a double date like old times. Remember back then how often we go on double dates together?” Gyuri placed her hand on Victoria’s arm and began shaking her gently. “Come on Victoria, bring me along.”

After a few seconds had gone by with Gyuri pouting, Victoria finally gave in. “I’ll ask him…” Victoria eyed Gyuri suspiciously. This was so unlike Gyuri to act this way. How come she’s being so persistence about this? But that not the biggest problem. The greater question on Victoria’s mind right now is who Gyuri is planning on bringing along on this date. “You say you’re brining a date…do you have someone in mind already?” Seeing Gyuri unanswered pause, Victoria continued. “Let me just say, coworkers are not an option. We know how the last one ended. So who do you plan on asking, you haven’t really made any friends aside from work friends…” Victoria gave Gyuri a doubtful look.

Interrupting Victoria before she could continue, Gyuri spoke. “Geez, you think too much. Don’t worry about it…” Gyuri patted Victoria on the back assuring her that everything’s fine. “I got it under control so don’t worry about me. Just worry about what how you’re going to dress for your first date with him.”

“Oh, I worry…it’s you we are talking about here,” Victoria frowned. When Gyuri had paused earlier, Victoria knew that there was something in motion in that brain of hers, plotting something and Victoria doesn’t know whether she wants to find out what Gyuri has up her sleeves or not. “Anyways, go get ready for work. You’re going to be late again if you stand here and chat with me any longer.” Victoria pushed Gyuri slightly.

“Yes, mother” Gyuri ridiculed as she stood up from her seat. Sticking her tongue out at Victoria she pouted before dashing off to the bathroom.

Victoria let out a soft grunt. Yep, Gyuri definitely has some sort of wacky plan up her sleeves, but why? Shouldn’t Gyuri be happy that I’m finally dating like she has always wanted me to so what is she planning on scheming since for all the years I have known Gyuri, she only initiates going on double dates when she sees that I am being overly anti-social with the opposite . IF I had date guys, Gyuri would never force double dates on me. Whatever, I’m too stressed to even bother to care anymore. That girl is a nut job. Let’s just take things by day.

That night after work, Victoria phone Kris the moment she stepped into the house.

“Hey Kris,” Victoria greeted after hearing someone pick up the phone.

“Hey Victoria,” his voice sounded overjoyed as he greeted her.

“Don’t you sound happy today…” Victoria commented. She could tell he was smiling on the other line just by the tone in his voice. “Did something good happen today?”

“Yeah, something good happened today.” He continued to grin from ear to ear.

“What?” Victoria asked curiously.

“You called.” Kris soften his tone as he continued to speak to her in an affectionate way. “You rarely call me so when you do it makes me super happy.”

“Are you telling me to call you more in an indirect way?” Victoria asked in a teasing manner.

“Yeah,” he answered seriously. “It makes me happy seeing your name pop up on my caller ID. It makes me even happier hearing your voice. It makes me happiest seeing you in front of me.” His voice was oozing with sweetness as he spoke. “So stay by my side for as long as possible, okay?”

His last sentence left her with a bitter-sweet feeling. It was as if he was telling her that he’s willing to be with her as long as she allows him to be with her. It makes her feel uneasy knowing that if things were to end, it would be because of her since he would never let go of her first. “Yeah…” she whispered softly.

“Since it’s so rare that you call me out of the blue I’m sure you actually called to say or ask for something, didn’t you?  Am I right?” Kris knew her so well. He knew she never calls people ‘just to talk’ like others do. She always calls with a purpose in mind. He knew her just as well as Siwon does, but she shouldn’t sit here and compare the two. It’s not right. It’s not right and yet she can’t help, but do it unconsciously, anyways.

“Yeah. Actually I called to ask you if it’s okay for my roommate to go with us to the adventure park this weekend.” Victoria continued to speak in an apologetic tone. “I know it’s weird that she’s going with us, but when I told her about where we had wanted to go on a date, she said she wanted to come since she has never been there before so yeah…”

Letting out a small chuckle he spoke. “Our date for two turns into a date for three after one day, how in the world did that happen?” He teased.

“If you really mind her coming along with us I’ll try and talk her out of coming along…” Victoria felt kind of guilty for even considering Gyuri’s request. Of course Kris doesn’t want people to intrude on their date. From the beginning he has already stated he wanted to be alone with her. That he wanted to spend the whole day alone with her.

Letting out another small chuckle he spoke. “You’re so cute when you’re panicking like this.” In a reassuring tone he continued. “I never said she can’t go with us. All I said was our first date isn’t going to be as romantic as I hoped it’d be since we won’t have much alone time together considering your friend would be coming along with us.” In a teasing voice he continued. “Even though I want to be alone with you on this date. I’ll let it slide this time if you give me a reward for allowing her to come with us. A kiss, perhaps.”

Hearing her silent reply he let out a soft sigh. “I was just teasing you, Victoria. Don’t take it to heart.” He really meant what he said, but he didn’t want to tell her that.

He knew he was rushing things, but can you blame him? He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to kiss the girl they love, but at the same time he knew she wasn’t ready for it yet and he’ll have to wait it out. Dammit…even a kiss is an obstacle.

“You play too much,” Victoria pouted and then let out a soft giggle of relief.

Her laughter made his heart feel bitter. “I’ll allow our date to be interrupted just this once since I’ve been wanting to meet Gyuri anyways. I’ve heard a lot about her from you. Gyuri is so great at this, Gyuri is doing that today, Gyuri’s jokes are so funny and so on, but I haven’t actually met her yet.” He was sincere about wanting to get to know Gyuri better since she is Victoria’s best friend and roommate. It would be a good idea to get on Gyuri’s good side. I’ll have someone who could help me when it comes to Victoria, he thought. Yeah…I need someone who knows Victoria the most.

“Well aren’t you being so kind. I’ll reward you with dinner sometime.” Victoria teased.

“You’re buying? You never buy!” He joked back, forgetting that he was slightly sad before when Victoria had rejected his offer to get a kiss as a reward.

“It’s not that I never buy, but it’s because you never let me pay.” Victoria rebutted. “I don’t get why girls can’t pay for dinner some time. Does it hurt your pride we do?” Victoria shook her head. Her words made Kris chuckle. “Anyways, it’s late. I have to go shower, eat some dinner, and then do some paper work for work otherwise I’ll get in trouble tomorrow! Good night, Kris.”

“Good night, babycakes.” Kris’s voice was smoothing and sweet.

“Wahh…ba…baby…cakes?” Victoria stuttered on her words as she repeat the nickname Kris has just given her. “What the…”

“Yeah. You’re my babycakes.” Kris chuckled. “I look forward to your future pet name for me.”

“…well, goodnight!” she spoke in a hasty tone and hung up. Her cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment. What does that even mean? Babycakes…

Hanging up, Kris let out a soft chuckle. He knew Victoria didn’t have much dating experience since the only person she had ever liked was Siwon so when facing with these type of matters regarding herself he knew she wouldn’t know how to handle such situations. It was his first time calling her with such a pet name too. When they were kids they would always call each other using idiotic nicknames, but other than those he had never once had he ever called her anything other than Victoria.

 

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Two days before the double date was to take place Gyuri decided to meet up with Siwon and his friends at the local pub. Calling Siwon she told him she wanted to meet up, saying she had something to discussion with him regarding Victoria, but the truth was she had an ulterior motive up her sleeve besides telling him about Kris and Victoria.

“Oh you’re here already” Siwon looked up and saw Gyuri standing in front of him. She looked indifferent as always.

“Hey Gyuri!” Donghae greeted excitingly as he stood up and hugged her without much though. Taken aback by his friendliness Gyuri shoved him away without a thought. Backing away from him she stared him down, looking unamused by his sudden actions.

“Dummy” T.O.P. slapped the back of Donghae’s head as he spoke then looked over at Gyuri who looked both surprised and grossed out by Donghae. Feeling the need to defend his friend he spoke. “Don’t mind him, Gyuri. He’s the overly friendly type, who always affectionate towards everyone. He also likes skin ship so don’t mind him if he touch you or hug you. He only like this with people he consider friends so I guess that means he thinks of you as somewhat of a friend.”

“We only met once…and he thinks that equals friendship?” Gyuri sat between Hyuna and T.O.P., away from Donghae.

Before any of them could say anything else a girl walked by their table and sat on the arm cushion beside Siwon. Lowering to meet his ear, she whispered enticingly in his ear while resting her hand on his shoulder, possessively. “Long time no see, Siwon. Why haven’t called lately?” Running her fingers along his broad shoulders from one end to the other she her lips slowly and whispered cunningly once more into his ear. “Isn’t your bed feeling lonely without me?”

She was going to take a nibble of his ear, but he pulled away from her instantly. Taking her hand off his shoulders he threw them back at her coldly and spoke in a harsh, icy tone. “Stop it, Sera. Didn’t I tell you I’m not interested in playing anymore? Those days are over so quit trying to seduce me.”

“What?” Sera wore a surprised expression as she shouted louder than she had intended to. “You’re joking right? Tell me your joking Siwon.” The girl demanded. She was still unable to accept his words as truth. “I thought you were just joking when you said that. You were just with me a few weeks ago and now you’re telling me to stop bothering you just because you want to settle down? What kind of joke is this? I thought you were just saying it that time because your parents were pressuring you about marriage, but were you actually being serious?”

“Yeah, I was being serious Sera. I don’t need you to cause trouble for me so stop coming around me if you want anything other than friendship.” Siwon turned his head towards her and narrowed his eyes at her. His serious expression made her realize he wasn’t joking. “I want to settle down with her and have a family.”

“Quit joking. You play too much Siwon.” Sera giggled. Leaning forward she wanted to kiss him, but once again he pushed her away.

“I’m not joking, Sera….” Siwon spoke, but was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Seriously stop that Siwon. Quit joking like that….” Sera was still couldn’t accept his words as truth. She always thought that if Siwon decides to settle down one day it would be with her. She would be the one he choose to marry since she and Hyuna are the only two girls who’s around him all the time and it can’t be Hyuna since she’s already engaged to someone. It can’t be with someone he just randomly had a one night stand with either because that’s impossible for him. He never keeps in contact with the women he sleeps with except for her. So there can’t be anyone else, but her… “You settle down? That will be the day…like someone like you could settle down and be in a monogamous relationship. You love to play with girls too much to want a family and settle down all of sudden like this. You sure are funny today…”

Seeing his unchanging expression she knew he was being serious this time. The feeling of heartbreak wash over her looking at him. “You told me you were waiting for someone and that you won’t be able to love anyone but her...were they all lies…did you just say that because you didn’t want to be with me?”

“I didn’t lie. She’s back.” He answered coolly.

“No way…” Sera shook her head in disbelief. “She’s been gone for what, 6 years now…why would she come back now…why all of a sudden…and even if she did, what makes you think you can be with her again?”

“It’s10 years and who knows why she’s back now, but she’s back and that’s all that matters. I’m not letting go of her this time around.” Siwon had the look of determination in his eyes. “That’s why I can’t sleep around like before. I don’t want to be with any other girl if not her.” He can’t screw around anymore. He has no room for mistakes and screw ups anymore because his next few moves will determine everything for their future from here on out. He’s going to put his final plan into motion now that the time has come for it.

The girl looked dubiously at Siwon as she spoke. “So you say, but you’re a playboy Siwon. You always have been living that playboy lifestyle, sleeping with various women different nights of the week. What makes you think you could change now because of her? That she can change you…didn’t you leave her before?” Letting out a bitter laugh she continued, “Just because it’s her, you think you can settle with just that and not want others as well? I think not. I’ve known you for five years now…you’ve never been 100% committed to anyone during those years. You think you won’t get bored of her or the , you’re wrong. You like thrills and having different girls in your bed provides you with that. You won’t be fulfilled with just one girl.”

Narrowing her eyes Sera spoke in a sinister way. “Let’s be honest, Siwon. You just want her because she was someone you have been waiting for, for so long. Once you have obtained what you’ve been desiring all these years, you’ll get bored and eventually toss her aside just like any other girl. She’s no different Siwon, your kind only likes challenges and once she stops fighting, you’ll want someone else.”

Taking the glass of water in her hand Gyuri threw its content across the table. “Opps my hand slipped.” Gyuri glared at Sera, who had water all over her face.

“What the ,” Sera yelled she wanted to slap Gyuri, but Siwon grabbed her before she could charge at Gyuri.

“Sera, don’t. She’s my friend.” Siwon’s stern voice was hurtful to hear.

“Are you ing serious?” Sera got and glared at Gyuri. “Whatever. I’m leaving.”

“One word of advice little girl. Just because you’re a jealous little doesn’t mean you can go around saying whatever you want.” Gyuri examined Sera from head to toes and scoffed. In a cynical tone she spoke. “You sure do have horrible taste in women, Siwon.”

Sera was about to shout back, but she when she looked over at Siwon, who was glaring at her, she lost all will to fight seeing the look in his eyes. “Who is she? Why can she talk to me that way, but I can’t talk back to her that way?” When Siwon didn’t answer, Sera assumed it was the girl he’s been waiting for all this time and it was even harder to bear. Walking away she couldn’t help the tears streaming down her face. “I’ll make sure you won’t ever be happy with any other girl besides me, Choi Siwon.” She muttered under her breathe. “I’ll make you realize I’m the only one for you.”

“She looks like she’s misunderstanding something…” Hyuna spoke, but no one replied. Wanting to stop all the tension in the room she joked. “Then what about Victoria, is she horrible too?”

Understanding Hyuna’s intentions of wanting to lighten up the mood, Gyuri spoke. “Like I said, he has horrible taste in women. She’s horrible as well. She’s stubborn. She’s snarky; her serpent like tongue is the devil. She’s strong willed, and not in the good way. She’ not good at opening up; loves making others worry when she holds things in and hide her emotions behind a mask. She thinks showing tears is a sign of weakness…she has so much pride…she pretends she’s strong, but she’s weak…and so much more.” Gyuri smiled sweetly as she spoke. “But when she wants to be, she can be so adorably cute. I always lose to her when she uses her aegyo on me.” As she spoke her last sentence she looked over at Siwon. “She’s especially cute when she’s had a few drinks in her.”

“Don’t say it like that, Gyuri.” Hyuna teased “you’re making Siwon jealous. He’s probably feeling jealous and envious that you get to see so many sides of her that he doesn’t get to see often since you live with her.”

“Jealous? Oh please. He’s too busy sleeping around to even think of Victoria.” Gyuri jabbed.

“Hey now!” Hyuna playfully shoved Gyuri. “I thought we were lightening up the mood. Why bring that back up? It’s the past so leave it there.”

“The past as in a few weeks ago?” Gyuri scoffed. “So Siwon, when did you last sleep with someone?” Gyuri didn’t want to let go of the topic. It perked Gyuri’s interest in knowing more since even now, she’s still uncertain if helping Siwon is the best choice for Victoria or not. His personality still confuse her.

Gyuri wanted to know the exact date he had called that girl because a few weeks ago was also around the time when Siwon had begged her for help with Victoria. He wanted help with Victoria, but sleeping with other girls on the side. Why should she help someone like that? Did she really betray Victoria and helped the wrong person? “Was it around the same time you asked for my help?”

Siwon ran his fingers through his hair he let out a sigh. No matter what he says it won’t justify his actions, but if he doesn’t say it someone else might, that’ll cause a bigger misunderstanding. “I feel so frustrated sometimes. Before I use to sleep around to hide my loneliness, but when she came back it made me feel even lonelier and more frustrated than before. Every word that left felt like daggers through my heart. Every time she pushes me away it felt like the air was taken out of me…She just makes me so mad sometimes. I get so annoyed by her words and actions that I can’t even control how I react to her sometimes. I am scared that if I stop sleeping around I might end up doing something to her that I’ll regret. I know it’s a bad excuse, but even when she’s here, I can’t even touch her because I feel like if I do touch her she’ll just disappear from my side again. I feel like I’m losing control of myself because I want her to be mine again so desperately that I sometimes don’t even know what I’m doing anymore when she’s nearby.”

“That’s some poor excuse you got there, Siwon.” Gyuri could understand Siwon’s feelings somewhat. Victoria was always that way saying cold and hurtful things to others because she’s scared of being the one who ends up getting hurt, but even so Gyuri can’t let Siwon justify his actions just because Victoria is making him lose control of his mind. “Well restrain yourself from now on. It’s a matter of mentality and if you have better control of your mind, you’ll become the winner on top at the end of the fight. It’s all about willpower.”

“I’ve been doing just that lately. Whenever I see her instead of picking a fight like before I just keep my distance. I don’t want to hear her say anything that would piss me off and make me lose control like before, but it’s hard you know. Even if she doesn’t say anything hurtful to me. Her actions are making it harder for me to be calm and rational…I want to just throw her over my shoulders and take her to my bedroom and mark every inch of her with me…and right about now, I want to mark her as mine so badly…so that no one can have her…So that no one can touch her…”

When the last few sentence left his mouth, it sent chills down Gyuri’s spine. The possessive nature of a person could really drive them into insanity if it’s strong enough. She could tell that he knew with just those words alone. “You knew…” It came out more like a statement than a question.

“Of course I knew…” his voice felt icy and cold, but at the same time you can sense the hurt in his tone.

“How?” Gyuri knew she should have told Siwon about it when she had first heard about it since they are alliances and all, but she’s didn’t want to betray Victoria any more than she already has. And besides, even if Victoria say they are together, Gyuri still cannot accept it. Not like she has a right to say anything, but she just can’t sense that, that choice could bring Victoria happiness.

“Do you think he’ll stay quiet about it? Like hell he would. He made sure he told the right people to transfer the message to me that she belong to him now…” Siwon looked bitter as he spoke.

Unable to read the air Donghae spoke in a surprised tone. “Victoria is dating someone?”

“You really are dense sometimes aren’t you?” T.O.P. slapped Donghae’s arm. “Read the atmosphere before you ask a dumb question like that.”

“What are you going to do?” Hyuna asked, since Gyuri hasn’t said a word since hearing his answer.

“I’ll let her go play the relationship game with Kris…I won’t interrupt them.” Siwon’s answer shocked Gyuri. She didn’t expect him to give up so easily.

“Are giving up on her again…” Gyuri didn’t know who she should feel pitied more for, Victoria or Siwon. Siwon was once again giving up something for the sake of his little brother and once again it was Victoria who was being sacrificed by the man she loves.

“I didn’t say that, now did I?” Siwon looked over at Gyuri intensely. She could sense how serious he was about this by the look in his eyes. He must have thought things through this time around. Unlike before. “I was young that time so when I gave her up, I thought it was the best choice for all three of us, but in reality it was just an easy way out for me. I thought if I did that no one would get hurt because she hasn’t fallen too deep yet. I thought that she’s young so she’ll get over it fast, her love must have been just puppy love. I thought that even if I hurt her somewhat Kris would always be there for her and eventually she’ll forget me with him by her side and over time she’ll give him a chance, but I was wrong. I’m wiser now. I can’t repeat my past mistakes by running away and taking the easy way out of things anymore. I can’t lose her again for a second time.”

Gyuri furrowed her brows. “She’s with him now…”

“And? So what…Do you really think she’s with him because she loves him because I know damn well she doesn’t…She’s just….confused that’s all…she just wants the easy way out of all this just like I did back then.” Siwon let out a soft sigh.

“Whose fault do you think it is that she’s this way?” Seeing that Siwon didn’t answer her, Gyuri continued. “So, what are you going to do now? Are you really going to allow him to date her freely without butting in? What if you took too long and she ends up falling…”

Interrupting Gyuri before she could finish her sentence Siwon didn’t want to hear the rest of it. “I didn’t say I won’t be involve, I just said I won’t interrupt their relationship that’s all. Do you actually think their relationship will last long? Victoria probably only agreed to it because she’s confused about her feelings for me. Once he tries to get physical with her that’ll be the end of their relationship, and trust me I know he’s eager to try something.”

“Are you seriously going to let him try something on her? You said…” Hyuna spoke up this time. She couldn’t understand what Siwon’s plans are.

“I don’t want him to, but I know I don’t need to stop him because she’ll stop him. Victoria’s not very good at hiding her feelings even though she thinks she is. When she really doesn’t want something, I’m sure he’ll stop…and if he doesn’t…I’ll be visiting him soon.” Siwon’s voice was back to icy cold as he spoke his last sentence.

Gyuri was still confused about Siwon’s relationship with Kris. At times he loves him and yet at times he’s very cold towards his brother, as if Kris is his enemy. Gyuri wanted to know more because there must have been something big in their past that made their relationship turn out this way, but she didn’t want to seem overly nosy by asking too many questions. “Even if it doesn’t work out with them, how are you going to make her pick you in the end?” Gyuri still couldn’t understand Siwon’s plans.

“By making her unable to get over me.” Siwon smiled cunningly as he continued. “I have my ways of making her think of me even when he’s beside her. I’ll make her become torn between him and me, so that in the end her walls crumble down and it’ll be too unbearable to hold in anymore. She’ll eventually have to pick her heart over her mind when the pain and guilt is too heavy to bear. She just needs someone to push her to the corner to break down completely. It’s time she shows what she’s really feeling instead of putting on a mask for everyone to see.”

“You’re cruel. How can you use your brother as a way for her to realize her feelings like that?” Gyuri shook her head, disapprovingly. “I won’t approve of the method. Your relationship will be shattered and I know Victoria doesn’t want that to happen.”

“It’s already too late for that. It’s been shattered the moment she left.” Letting out a soft sigh he ran his fingers through his hair once more. “You think I’m cruel? I think they are crueler to me than I am to them. Do you think Kris didn’t know her weakness? He knew she was confused because of me and took his chance for her to pity him. Do you think if she wasn’t scared of being in love with me, Kris could have gotten a chance to be with her? Kris is smart. He always knew when the best opportunities came around and ran when he knew when the odds are against him. He knew he could take her away from me, have a chance with her the moment her own feelings for me scare her too much. He knew she wanted an easy way out and he gave her that option. Getting over someone without getting hurt yourself.  And Victoria…she’s the queen of cruelty. I was forceful in my approach because I wanted to face her and not run away like before, but whenever I do she backs away from me. The gentler I am with her, the harsher she becomes with me. She’s dating him knowing it’ll hurt me…it hurts me no matter who she’s dating, but it hurts me especially more when it’s him that she picked. I just can’t win with her sometime…”

“But you still love her despite it all. Even if she’s stupidly stubborn you’ll still love her. Even if she’s mean to you, you’re still waiting for her to come to your side.” Gyuri looked sad as she continued. “I’m kind of jealous of Victoria because of the things you do for her sometimes. Prince charming was never that charming for me.” Gyuri let out a bitter laugh.

“He’ll come one day, I’m sure.” Siwon poured everyone shot glasses of soju and handed it to them. “Let’s drink to everyone having a happier future in life, love and everything else.” He clashed his glass with everyone and gulped it down. “So did you come all the way here just to tell me she’s dating him?”

“Oh yeah!” Gyuri rubbed the back of her head. She was anxious about asking for a favor. “I came here because I wanted to know if one of your friends would be free this Sunday…this is kind of awkward for me, but I kind of have this double date thing with Victoria and in order for it to be a double date I would actually have to with a date and…so…yeah…I just don’t know anyone well enough to ask and…” Gyuri continued to ramble on and on because it was the first time in her life asking for this sort of favor.

“I’ll be your date.” Siwon spoke, interrupting Gyuri’s yapping that didn’t even make sense. “If it’s for a double date with Victoria and Kris. I’ll come too.”

Shaking her head Gyuri could see through Siwon’s motives. “Yeah right…like I’ll let that happen. You being there will make things awkward for everyone. I know you want to watch Kris’s interaction with Victoria and all, but do that on your own time and don’t drag me down with you. I don’t want Victoria to know I’m helping you. That betrayal will be bad if she found out…” Turning her attention to T.O.P. Gyuri rather pick him over Donghae any day since from observation, Donghae could be what you call a clueless idiot who can’t see what timing meant. “T.O.P. do you mind going with me on Sunday?”

“Huh?” He was surprised hearing Gyuri ask him since they haven’t really talked much, but after a long pause he answered uncertainty. “Ehhh…uhh…ummm…sure.”

T.O.P. wasn’t the nervous type, but for some reason he felt nervous when she asked him to go with her. Girls were direct with him, but in a flirty way. Gyuri on the other hand was direct with him in a domineering way. She has that sort of demanding air about her.

“Thanks! Let’s exchange numbers. I’ll text you the location and everything tonight.” Gyuri held out her phone to him. Truth was this wasn’t the only thing up her sleeves. She picked T.O.P because Donghae might have been easy to get information out of regarding Siwon, but at the same time he could also say the wrong things in front of Victoria and everything would just be a mess if he did. But T.O.P. might be harder to crack, but at least he’s smart enough to know when to speak and how to act.

After finding out Siwon had been sleeping around even when he had asked her for help made Gyuri feel even iffier about helping him with Victoria. She knew she couldn’t trust him off the bat, but she didn’t expect him to be doing all this while asking her for help. And the way he talks…He must have more things he’s hiding, she could sense it. She’ll just have to dig up more dirt from T.O.P. during their date to know what Siwon is really planning and if he’s really sincere about being with Victoria because right now she’s not sure if it’s even worth helping him anymore after finding out so many things about him. He doesn’t seem like an honest person at times like these, but sometimes he does seem honest. It’s all confusing. She could not understand what Siwon’s intentions are and what’s going through his mind, knowing Victoria had agreed to be with Kris.

She knows he loves Victoria, but the excuse he uses isn’t the right way to go about things. Even if he loves Victoria and Victoria loves him, if he’s no good for her than he’s no good for her. She can never forgive herself if she helped Siwon and he end up hurting Victoria somehow.

 

 

 

Spoiler:

Their date goes well, but will Siwon’s prediction come true when Kris tries to drive in for the goodnight kiss? Will lady victory side with Siwon or with Kris for this round?

Even though Gyuri came there to evaluate the interactions between Kris and Victoria, she also had the intentions of finding out what Siwon’s been trying to hide from T.O.P. Will she get all the answer she had come there to get or will she be too busy playing the flirt game with T.O.P.? Find out when the next chapter comes out~

 

[You might be wondering why I had chosen the nickname babycakes for Victoria. Truth be told, it’s my favorite nickname I use for my boyfriend. LOL. Don’t ask me why or how I got that nickname because I’ve been calling him for years now. ]