I couldn't fall asleep. It was one thing to wake up with Wu Fan's face tucked between my shoulder blades, it was another to try and fall asleep with it that way. I was used to falling asleep separated from him and waking up with him hugging my lower back and his legs plopped over mine. I could feel his breath on my shoulders and it was bugging me. I tried to turn over the first time, because I didn't mind him wanting to hold me. I had no problem with us spooning properly or hugging each other as we fell asleep. I just couldn't fall asleep with him breathing right smack dab in the middle of my shoulder blades. And on top of that he wouldn't let me budge from this position. For the sixth time I twisted my body in attempt to turn over and face him. His arms held me securely and his weight pressed down on my legs. I sighed out in frustration and finally spoke to him, my tone snappy and heated,

“Do you find this position comfortable?”

“In fact, I do.” I could picture his smirk.

“What if I didn't?”

“Too bad.” oh that was annoying.

“I can't sleep. Your breath tickles my back.” usually when I whined he gave in...

“Can't hear you I'm sleeping.” Jerk.

“Wu Fan!”

“Yes my husband?” I was not going to give in to his sweet names and tender voice.

“Can I turn over please?” I asked nicely.

“Can't hear you I'm sleeping.” you have got to be kidding me.

“I hate you.”

“You love me.” that had nothing to do with this.

“I take it back.” I lied.

“Okay.” he sighed nonchalantly, his arms still around my waist and his damn breath still at my back.

“Wu Fan!!!”

“Say you love me.” he demanded. Oh he wanted to play games?

“Let me go!” I complained and reached back to smack his arm. I gasped as his arms squeezed tighter.

“Say you love me.” he growled, I pouted and whined pathetically.

“I just want to turn over!”

“Say. You. Love. Me.” I could feel my strength and stubbornness draining away. I just couldn't sleep like this. There was no way.

“No.” I tried one last time.

“Then suffer.”

“Wu Fan!!I swear to the gods I will....ughohmygod...I love you.” I muttered in defeat. I didn't get to turn over though. He used his own strength to not only turn me over, but lay me on top of him. My chin hit his chest after I was raised in the air for a few seconds. His tank top smelled like laundry detergent...

“I love you too.” he chirped happily. I glared with all my might, it didn't have an effect.

“Better?” he asked about our new sleeping position. I didn't say anything, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I simply huffed a puff of attitude and snuggled on to the chest I was provided instead of a pillow. His legs wrapped around my legs as well as his arms around my upper back. One finger slowly began to trace patterns on the nape of my neck. I enjoyed the sensation and let out a calming sigh. He chuckled at me, he did that a lot. He seemed to be amused by a lot of things I did.

“Since when?” he suddenly spoke after a long beat of silence.

“What?” my voice was muffled since my mouth was squished against his chest.

“Since when have you loved me?” he inquired. I looked up at him, my chin now resting on my hands. He wasn't looking at me, his eyes trained on the ceiling. It was something he did when ever he was nervous and talking to me.

“I'm not sure exactly. It was a long time ago I think. Probably when I started dreaming about you, about our future together...yeah probably some time then.” I theorized. I saw his jaw twitch in to a smile.

“You dream about me?” I knew he would like that.

“Mmm sometimes...a lot of the time...most of the time...every night.” I joked.

“What happens in your dreams?”

“Sometimes it the same as reality. What we do everyday. Sometimes we are in Korea, and you're living with me instead. Other times we are not either here nor in there. We are just...somewhere. And we are happy.” I saw the dreams in my mind. All of the warm colors and the feelings.

“There's this meadow I sometimes dream of. It's not here, and its not there. It's somewhere. And we're holding hands, and we're talking but we're not. And we're just...being together. And I'm happy. I'm happy with you. And there's no where else I'd rather be.” his hands were running through my hair gently. I liked when he did that. He didn't say anything so I continued.

“I think I fell in love with you in my dream before I fell in love with you here. I loved you in that meadow and in my other dreams. And when I woke up I loved you again. Does that make sense?” I checked. His fingers were touching my cheeks softly, coaxing me to look at him. His eyes full of that emotion that made me melt.

“Perfect sense.” he answered. He pulled me farther up to kiss my forehead before letting me finally sleep in the position I had wanted to in the first place; facing him and my head tucked under his chin.

~ ~ ~

I dreamed of the meadow. Of the tall grass with the dandelions and lavender. We walked though them hand in hand. There was no end to that meadow. The grass and flowers went on for miles. The sun never set all the way and it never rose either. We were stuck in this place, in this moment. He held me close, hugged me and kissed me. I smiled so much with him. He laughed with me at a secret joke we had between us. He would lay me down, and love me. He loved me passionately. He loved me till I reached ecstasy. And I loved him back. We were stuck in this moment of time and space. I only wanted to be there with him. I only wanted to stay there with him. He made me happy. He was my everything.

~ ~ ~

Waking up had never been so pleasant. I had dreamed of him, and there he was before me. I carefully traced his eyebrows, his nose, and his lips. He was so relaxed in his dreams.

“Just kiss me and stop staring.” he mumbled with his eyes still closed. Grinning, I scooted forward and pecked his lips tenderly.

“You should get up now.” I whispered to him. He groaned and shook his head in defiance. Instead of getting up he held me against him, one leg hiking itself over my hip.

“Did you dream about me?” his deep voice was a little raspy. My blush was already appearing and the day hadn't even started.

“Maybe.” I spat. He laughed at me.

“Was it a good dream?” he continued.

“Yes.” I answered honestly. He mumbled something about how of course the dream was good with him in it, and continued to hug me. Eventually after some pinching and poking I convinced him to get out of bed because he needed to eat breakfast soon. We both sort of rolled out of the bed, he went to shower and I headed in to the kitchen. No one was there yet, so I took the liberty of getting the coffee started and boiling water for tea. I sliced up the fruit we hadn't eaten the day before and poured myself some juice. The sky was still a dark blue, the sun not having risen yet.

Yixing came in a few minutes later and poured himself his cup of tea and greeted me.

“When are we going to see Ani again?” I asked. That weekend, he reminded me. I wondered if I should buy her something, and Yixing mentioned how when he was younger his mother made the tastiest Chinese treat called coconut balls, and Ani loved them as well.

“Then I guess I'm going to be making coconut balls this week.” I smiled. He was a little shocked that I would know how to make them, but I happily replied,

“I don't. That's why I have three Chinese men to help me.” I smirked and went to sit down at the table with my fruit bowl in hand. He warned me it was could be a bit of a process if I wanted to make authentic ones. I was up for the challenge.

“What's her home like?” I wondered out loud. I felt Wu Fan's fingers at my neck as they traced random patterns. They were all up now, Luhan had his tea cup in hand and Jongdae's mouth was stuffed with whatever food he'd chosen.

“It's nicer than ours.” Luhan commented. I felt Wu Fan nod his head from behind me. I was fully seated in his lap now, one arms was snuggly placed around my waist and his face was right over my shoulder.

“She's got this great white house, it's long and really pretty.” Jongdae joined in. He took a sip of his coffee but grimaced, quickly pushing it over to Luhan who understood his gesture and dunked a few spoonfuls of sugar in.

“There's this wide field surrounding the front of her house. Tons of wild flowers. But you wouldn't know it since there's a forest of thick trees before it. She has a few dogs with her, they like to walk up and down the dirt road she made that cuts through the field and leads to her doorstep.” Luhan continued. Yixing mentioned how I wanted to make coconut balls for her. Luhan's eyes sparkled so brightly, he was eager to not only help me but make his own batch as well. Wu Fan then told him to take the day off then and go with me to the market for the day to get whatever items I would need. It was Luhan who knew all of the shops in town.

“But can't I just go the day before and make them then?” I questioned his plan.

“You're planning to make them from scratch?” he asked. I nodded.

“Like real scratch? You're going to make the rice dough? And the red bean paste?” Jongdae was astounded with his eyes going wide.

“Um...yes?” I guessed. I didn't even know there was rice in the ingredients...

“It's just the rice dough will take a day and to make the paste you need the beans to soak overnight. Plus drying out the coconut flakes can take 1-3 days. Unless you buy it.” Yixing added his two cents. Luhan nodded in agreement.

“We should probably go today Minseok, better to be prepared. I mean you could make rice dough the same day but it'd be cutting it close. Better to buy the ingredients today, start prepping tomorrow and shred the coconut, soak the beans and rice the next night, actually make the dough and paste the next day. And then the day before we can make the coconut balls and have them ready for Saturday. Sound good?” Luhan smiled. I was a little put back, but I agreed. With that settled Yixing and Jongdae headed out to the fields to begin work and Wu Fan kissed me goodbye. Luhan and I headed to the market on foot.

~ ~ ~

“I didn't know there'd be so much brown sugar.” I stared at the large container Luhan pulled away from the small stand. He paid the woman behind it and we continued on our way.

“Well you already know there's brown sugar in the paste, but there's also brown sugar on the coconut balls as well.” Luhan explained as he tucked the container in to his backpack. The market was busy and people were bustling about. We had only bought the brown sugar so far even though we'd passed by several shops and carts that sold coconuts and red beans. Every time I pointed one out Luhan would shake his head and keep walking. We had been there for already two hours.

“Ah! There he is!” he cried out loud and skipped over to a small green tent with an old man sitting inside it. They began to speak in Mandarin, Luhan was animated and the man seemed happy to see him. At the end of their conversation the man handed over two coconuts and Luhan paid for them. They briefly hugged and then Luhan came back to me.

“These my friend are the best coconuts on the island. I don't know what trees he picks them from but they are the freaking best!” he danced a little with the two large coconuts in his hands. I laughed at his little dance.

“I couldn't let you just use any coconuts to make this treat. You had to have the best.” he stated with a tone of seriousness that I giggled at. Satisfied he put the two coconuts in his bag and we walked on.

After another hour Luhan found a woman who apparently sold the best red beans and the man right next to her was the 'almighty seller of sweet rice'. I rolled my eyes at his dramatic ways.

“Why are you such a drama-king?” I asked. He pouted but agreed anyway.

“Well my mother was a drama-queen. I guess I followed in her footsteps.” he shrugged as he bought a bigger pot than the one we had at home.

“What was your mother like?” I asked him. His eyes looked up to the sky in thought. We slowly paced our way around the tents and shops, not particularly buying anything.

“She was really pretty. She had a bigger smile than I do, I have her eyes. She was very hyper. And she had little patience with anything. It's the reason she separated from my father.” he smiled brightly then and I asked why she had left him.

“He'd promised to get her off this island, only because that's what she wanted. She had bad memories here as a child, watching my grandparents live as slaves and growing up as one herself. When she was set free, she didn't have a place to go so she stayed here. She met my father, fell in love, had me, and wanted to leave. My father promised he would make it happen. I was nine when they separated. Don't feel sorry, it wasn't bad at all. My father literally just moved to the hut next door to ours.” we laughed lightly. His smile suddenly turned down. A look of longing rose in his eyes.

“They were still together really. I mean they were together enough to make my little sister, so I guess they never really separated...” his voice had become low.

“You have a little sister?” I dared to ask. He bit his lip.

“Had. I had a little sister.” he looked down to the ground. He kicked it halfheartedly as he answered my next question before I asked it.

“There's a reason you're not supposed to go near the river when it rains so much Minseok. That river...Wailuku...it lives up to its name.” he laughed through his nose. And I already knew what had happened. And I wondered how he could live so close to a river that had taken his sister's life.

“She was young. Pretty like my mother. But...I suppose Kane thought she was too pretty and pure for this world.” he shrugged.

“I'm sorry.” I apologized, for what I wasn't sure. He shrugged again.

“No worries Minseokie,” he grinned widely suddenly. I was surprised as he jumped forward and began to pinch my cheeks roughly.

“I have you to tease now! Wittle Minseokie with his cute cheeks!” he cooed with a scrunched face. I began yelling and pushing his hands away but they were relentless. By the time he had settled down my cheeks were pink from abuse and he was smiling like an idiot.

“They're going to bruise!” I whined while massaging the soar skin. He only laughed at me.

When we were finally done we made a large U-turn in the market and started heading back out. But I spotted a small jewelry tent that caught my eye. I pointed and gasped, yanking Luhan with me as I bee-lined for the little shop. I walked straight up to the tiny earring I had spotted from far away. It sparkled in the sunlight and I just knew I had to buy it.

“Really? Buying yourself jewelry?” Luhan complained. I pushed him away from me because I did not need his negativity. It was a small earring stud shaped to be a plumeria flower. Yixing's words pulsed through my head. They symbolized love, a very strong and innocent love. If I gave Wu Fan a plumeria,

“I'm saying I love you.” he smiled. A silver one counted right? I plucked the small earring from its black cushion hold. I was about to buy just that, but then I saw a small heart stud earring.

“Oh my god it's so cute!” I squealed in delight. Wu Fan would wear it if I gave it to him right? What if I got couple ones? I gasped obnoxiously when I saw a small dragon stud next to it, almost poking it to death in excitement.

“Oh I want that one too!” I told myself and picked out both the dragon earring and the heart earring. I purchased all three with a proud feeling in my chest.

“You don't even know if he likes dragons.” Luhan pointed out. I scoffed at his obvious ignorance.

“He's my husband, he loves me, he will love the dragon!” I growled and began to storm away. I paused, turned around and yelled back at a grinning Luhan,

“And thank you for your support friend!” and then turned back around. I heard him jogging up to me, crying that his Minseokie couldn't leave him.

~ ~ ~

It was later in the even when I finally gave him my gift. I was supposed to start dinner soon, but I'd ask my trio for a private moment with my husband.

“For me?” Wu Fan raised his eyebrow at me. I nodded eagerly, wanting him to open the satin box already. He smiled at me, quickly kissing my lips before almost opening the box. He paused his action.

“It's not an engagement ring is it? Are you asking me to marry you?” he joked. I smacked his arm for it.

“Ha Ha. You're so funny Wu Fan. Open it.” I demanded. He did. And then he stared at them for awhile. I couldn't exactly read his expression. I was overly anxious. I stepped forward and began to point out the earrings one by one.

“I thought the dragon was really cool. I realize that I don't know if you actually like dragons but its cool huh? You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. The heart is really obvious I mean its a little girly you don't have to wear that one either. The plumeria...” I stopped. My words cut off and I wasn't sure how to say it out loud.

“The um...plumeria...its for...you know...love and stuff.” I mumbled the last part under my breath. He closed the box, setting it down on the dining room table and I looked at him with question. Did he hate them? Apparently not since he was smiling affectionately down at me. He suddenly picked me up and I gasped but threw my hands to his shoulders to stay balanced.

“You gave me a plumeria.” he said. He looked happy enough. I blushed and he smiled wider. I was glad he had gotten the meaning of it.

“I love them. I'll wear all of them.” he reassured as he leaned forward for a kiss. I obliged, even though I really wanted to hide my face somewhere to let my cheeks cool down. I made him put me down and hid my face in his shoulder.

“I'm special to you?” he teased me. I really wanted to hit him.

“Yes.” I regrettably said in to his shirt.

“You love me?” his smile must have been a mile wide.

“Obviously.” I sighed heavily. I felt his kiss to my neck. I continued to hide. He found this cute, as he told me so in whispers at my ear. He told me to put them in for him, and I did. The dragon one on his right with the heart. And the plumeria by itself on his left ear.

“I love you.” I kissed him. He kissed me back, picking me up and taking me to our bedroom. We laid down together, not bothering to turn off the lamps that dimly lit the room. He took his time in kissing me over and over again. His body so warm against mine. When he started biting my cheeks I put his affection parade to a halt. My cheeks had received enough abuse for the day.

“Who hurt your cheeks?” he growled.

“Luhan.” I tattled. His eyes went a shade darker.

“Well Luhan will be working double-time tomorrow.” he stated. I laughed at his small form of revenge.

“Did it hurt?” he began to baby me, I pouted and nodded.

“My poor husband!” he laid a big sloppy kiss on each cheek making me laugh. I liked this side of him. This very cute and fun side of him that didn't come out around his friends. At least it didn't come out on full force. When we were around his friends he usually stayed quiet, kept calm. He still teased me when he had the chance, but for the most part he only doted upon me and put his two cents in when necessary. But here, in our room by ourselves, he would whine at me and poke me playfully. He made funny faces and cute kissy noises. He completely unwinded when it was just me and him.

He plopped on to his back and I snuggled in to his side. His hand came up to play with some of my hair near my ear.

“Tell me more about your field. The one in your dreams.” he requested. I thought about it for a moment, finding the right words. It was so easy to open up to him now. When he asked me about myself, my thoughts, or my wants I could now open up and tell him anything. I was so willing to tell him anything, and I wanted to hear anything he had to say also.

“Its big. And wide. There's no end to it. There's tall grass everywhere, and tall flowers surrounding us.” I saw the grass now, thin and full, reaching my thighs and swaying in the breeze.

“What kind of flowers?” he asked.

“Lavender and dandelions.” my fingers began to subconsciously traced his stomach.

“What do we do there?” he his side, hugging me and inhaling my scent. I hummed for a bit, not sure that I wanted to tell him everything we did there. The part of my dream where he was on top of me...and inside me...I didn't exactly want to tell him that.

“We just hold hands and kiss. We talk a lot.” I technically told the truth.

“That's it?” he questioned. Figures he would read through my hesitation.

“Yeah, I mean sometimes we lay down and cloud watch...yeah that's kind of it.” I shrugged. He mirrored my shrug. Eventually it came to dinner time, but Wu Fan didn't want to go. I attempted to get out of the bed multiple times. And multiple times I was pushed back in to our bed. He yank my down by my arm or kick my knee in so I fell backwards. And then he followed up by lying on top of me, and I found it impossible to move with his tall body over mine.

“Whose going to feed them?” I asked with a groan as I pushed on his shoulder which was in my face. He had chosen to lay on me with his stomach up this time.

“They can feed themselves.” he pointed out. But I felt bad, I knew they liked my cooking and looked forward to it. And I figured if I didn't get up soon they were going to come looking for me. And speak of the devil there were three harsh knocks on our bedroom door.

“Minseok! Are you going to make dinner? You guys said you needed a moment alone, its been over an hour!” Jongdae complained from the hallway. I slapped Wu Fan's shoulder but he stayed put.

“He's busy! Make your own food!” Wu Fan yelled back. I was still putting forth effort to get that damn shoulder off of me. I kind of did...but really it was Wu Fan turning over to start poking my sides and squishing my cheeks. I laughed as he tickled me and screamed when he pinched my cheeks too hard. He was smiling widely as he enjoyed himself.

“Ya! What are you two doing?! We want food!” Luhan's voice screeched. Even though our door muffled the sound was still pretty loud.

“You need to let me go!” I talked while the laughs cut off my words. He shook his head from above me and knelt down to starting biting my cheeks. His tickling continued and now I was both laughing and screaming. It hurt but it tickled but it freaking hurt.

“You guys leave them alone, I'll make you something. They're probably having .” Yixing's calm persuasion was followed by retreating footsteps. When the sound of the dining room door slamming came to, Wu Fan finally stopped with his poking and biting. I was ready to start scolding him, but I didn't get to. It was a little hard to be upset with him when his lips were on mine, I couldn't really stay mad at him with the way he kissed me.

“See? My plan worked.” he breathed against my mouth. I made a questioning noise in response.

“I get you all to myself for the rest of the night.” he explained with his lips still kissing and at my already pink and wet lips. He paused for a moment, looking at me with playful eyes.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“Anything?” I challenged. He nodded. I thought about it. I thought about it really hard.

“I want to sleep!” I exclaimed and immediately turned my back to him, hugging my pillow closely and closing my eyes. I could feel his shocked face glaring at me. He muttered something under his breath and plopped back down on to the bed. I turned over to snuggle in to his side but he didn't hold me back like I thought he would. His arms stayed limp by his sides.

“What you're mad at me?” I scrutinized.

“Yes.” he deadpanned. Is scoffed at him.

“For what?! You asked me wanted to do I'm freaking tired!” I defended. He turned his head to look at me. His face was in a pout.

“I just thought you'd want to do something with me. I feel a little rejected.” he admitted. I rolled my eyes at his maturity.

“Well what else do you want to do? It's already late, can't we just cuddle and fall asleep?” I offered. His face moved out from a pout to a face of consideration.

“I guess I see nothing wrong with that.” he nodded. I laughed at him. He could be a little bit of an attention sometimes.

“Turn over.” he ordered. I did so and he snuggled in between my shoulder blades like usual and his leg fell on top of mine. I complained about it because seriously his breath was irritating as it tickled my back. But eventually I realized he was asleep, so I closed my eyes and let my dreams take me away.

~ ~ ~

“I wanna try one! Me first! Me!” Luhan shouted, waving his arm around like a fiver year old. I pouted at him, still holding my chopsticks in hand.

“I'm not even done yet! Go away!” I ordered. He stayed put, although he was more quiet than before. I swiftly lifted one of the rice balls out of the boiling water and set it on an oiled cookie sheet. I reached out and swatted the slim hand that had been reaching for it. I couldn't afford to lose to many to his sneaky hands, we were going to leave for Ani's in few hours.

“Don't touch!” I warned. Luhan whimpered from behind me.

“You should roll it now.” he whispered with need.

“I'm waiting for the others to finish.” I said and eyed the pot of boiling rice balls. They had come to the surface only a minute ago, I needed to leave them in for another minute or so. I heard the small whine in my ear and elbowed Luhan away from me.

“Can't you just roll it in the coconut already?!” he gasped on the floor.

“Ya! Be quiet or I won't let you have the first one!” I threatened. He whined like a wounded puppy. After another five minutes I had all of the rice balls out of the pot and on to the cookie sheet. I had to keep Luhan at bay with the threat to throw the rice balls down the sink, and waited for them to cool off a bit. I finally picked up one with my chopsticks and began roll it around in on the thin sheet of coconut and sugar. I made sure the coating was nice and even before plucking it from the sheet and offering it up to the man who looked like he was about to pee his pants.

“Here you pathetic being.” I huffed. He grabbed it so quickly I thought he'd dropped it. It took me a second to realize it was already in his mouth and he was chewing. I waited for his response.

His eyes widened and I swore I saw tears.

“Awmygaghwerhoood!!” he screamed with his mouth full. Maybe I'd made them a little too big?

“What?” I laughed. He chewed some more and swallowed, he smile brightly at me.

“Oh my god they're so good!” he clapped in excitement. I was happy to hear that.

“Now make me another.” he deadpanned. I rolled my eyes.

“The rest are for Ani you selfish person.” I accused. He didn't seem to be ashamed of this and began to beg for another one. I made him one more before ordering him to put more of the doughy balls in to the boiling water. I continued rolling around the treats in the coconut. But the first batch didn't last long, since Yixing and Jongdae came in suddenly and walked straight up to me with their mouths open. I ignored them for a little bit, feigning ignorance of the two full grown men standing beside me with their mouths wide open and pointing to them desperately. Jongdae had shoved my shoulder and made a sort of begging noise and I quickly plopped two of the coconut treats in to their mouths. Jongdae gave me a thumbs up while Yixing almost fell to his knees. I thought that it was finally over. But then Wu Fan came strolling in. He more or less started to eat me alive while begging to try a piece of the desert. I didn't even fight him, I just handed over the chopsticks and let him pick one up himself.

I had to literally push them all except Luhan out of the kitchen. It took a little bit more strength with Jongdae because he was stubborn, but eventually I used my feet to kick him and he gave way.

It was an hours later when I was finally done, and I was able to place each ball in a nice blanket laid basket. I pre-wrapped all of the sweets in plastic so they wouldn't dry out and then set them in to the basket I would personally carry to Ani's. After I was done I made Luhan swear on all that was holy to guard the sweets and not touch them so I could go shower and change. When I got out of the shower Wu Fan was already there, changed and ready to go. I quickly threw on one of my nicer tanks and clean pair of my cargo shorts with my sandals and we were on our way.

I quickly realized as he made our way out that we were heading straight in to the mountains I always stared at in the mornings. They were a little off to the left of our home from the front view. We walked along the dirt road that took us around our crops, and later on the dirt road became loose soil, and then roots came from the ground, and then thick mud and brush.

We walked in between the two mountains, a narrow valley way that went uphill in certain placed and downhill in others. For the most part it was a straight path. Wu Fan and I held hands as we walked, I could see up ahead Luhan was leading the way with a large walking stick. I heard some laughter behind me and found Jongdae had jumped on to Yixing's back. I couldn't help but smile to see Jongdae teasing Yixing with his poking and pretending the Chinese man was a horse, he ordered Yixing several times to speed up, “Onward my steed!” he cried. Yixing laughed at him and bounced up and down, playing along and satisfying the seemingly innocent man on his back.

We made it out of the narrow valley, and walked in to the thickest forest I'd ever seen. Wu Fan could no longer walk side by side with me, instead staying behind me and keeping close. I had to constantly turn my body to the side to weave in and out of the tree trunks. The sun wasn't shining through, our world was lit by a green glow from the treetops. Wu Fan took the liberty of pushing the vines that came in my way, and in the end I ended up on his back. It was easier that way for his own sanity I think.

And then finally the trees cleared abruptly.

I lost my breath.

The field from my dreams...it was real.

It was so long and wide, and the grass hit Wu Fan's hips it was so tall. And everywhere there was bright lavender and old dandelions. They swayed in the wind as they grew wild and free and the sun broke through brightly making the lavender a rich and deep purple. It was my meadow, my field, my dream come true.

I slowly got down from Wu Fan's back. I could feel my mouth hanging open and I was working to make sure my lungs inhaled and exhaled. It was hard to believe my eyes. But I reached out in front of me, and my fingers brush a dandelion. The pollen fell away in to white puffs in the air. My heart was swelling in my chest. Wu Fan's arms wrapped around my shoulder as he asked if I was okay. I looked up at him, “I'm fine. I'm perfect.” I confessed with so much emotion in my system. I quickly gripped his hand tightly and walked forward. Here we were, in my dream, walking through my field. We found the dirt made road that led to the house in the distance. I remembered the trio had told me it was a beautiful house, and I was happy to find them correct. I long sing story house stood before me. It was an older house, it had been constructed with care and had take time. It had a long outside porch with steps, a screen door, and large windows on either side of it. The wooden pillars on the porch were hand carved, also painted white. The whole house was white. It was pure, and it was an escape from the outside. I fell in love with it.

Ani was came out through the screen door before we came too close, a gentle smile on her lips as she waved to us. Two dogs came trailing from behind her; two very brown labs with big grins. She was just as pretty as I remembered her, her long black hair blew in the wind and you could tell her skin was smooth even from far away. She had such a small and thin frame, but she looked wise and strong from all her years on earth. Luhan went running forward with his arms outstretched, “Ani! Mama!” he laughed and ran in to her open arms. She held him close, her fingers patting his head lovingly and smooching his smiling face. I was a bit surprised, this was not the woman I had met in the jungle the week before. She seemed much more at ease and happier. Yixing and Jongdae jogged ahead of me and Wu Fan. They too were greeted with hugs and kisses. When Wu Fan and I arrived to the steps I fiddled with my fingers with nerves. Wu Fan temporarily let go of my hand and was accepted in to a warm hug. She held his face and kissed his forehead as if he were a long lost son. And then she laid her eyes on me.

I still saw it, the pain in her eyes. Even though her smile was warm and her attitude as well, I could still see the dull glow behind them. Wu Fan spoke to her in Chinese and she nodded in understanding. She moved toward me. I was planning to give her a quick hug and retreat. And then she had actually hugged me. I couldn't help but fall in to her arms. They were comforting and assuring. Her hold on my body was gentle and strong. It reminded me of my mother...

“It is nice to formally meet you.” she said to me. He Korean was slow and thought out, but nevertheless I understood and replied that it was nice to meet her too. She invited us in and we went inside.

Her house was clean and well furnished. She had a complete furniture set of a light beige and beautiful framed pictures of seashells along her walls. The wall were painted white, no surprise there. We all sat down around her deep wooden coffee table. I presented my small gift and I swelled with pride when she smiled and enjoyed them immensely.

“Don't touch!” I growled and swatted Luhan's reaching hand away. I gave him a glare when he actually growled at me like a freaking dog.

“At least someone is looking after you boys.” she smiled at me. Luhan only pouted. Wu Fan, Yixing, and Luhan spoke with her for quite a while in Mandarin. I didn't try to keep up, but in the mean time Jongdae turned to me to give me a brief history on their relationship.

She was indeed the girl from Yixing's story. The girl who had to give up her baby to Wailuku. And just as Yixing had said she had grown up.

They had all lived in the same village, and apparently their village use to be by the sea. Not only had Ani been good friends with Luhan and Yixing's mothers but she'd been watched over and partially raised by Yixing's grandmother; she ended up being a sort of aunt or babysitter as Chinese boys grew up. She naturally looked after Wu Fan also, and she knew all of them since they were infants. When Jongdae had arrived at the age of ten, and the boys had befriend him, she didn't hesitate to love him just as much as she loved the others. She was very motherly and kind. When Luhan's parents had left, she had taken him in under her care. He'd actually lived in this very house until he'd moved over to his current home. When Wu Fan's mother left she did the same, raising him as her own. And when Yixing and Jongdae's parents had passed away she decided it was time to build on to her home so they could all stay with her. It was the reason her home was so long, she'd added rooms for her adopted sons. And I realized Wu Fan really meant it when he said these men were like his brothers. The only reason they hadn't visited her in such a long time was that they'd taken in a new guest, and had been trying their hardest to show that guest the same love and care they'd been shown from her. I of course was that guest.

I wanted to ask about all of their parents, curious as to what happened to them all. I especially wanted to know what had happened to Wu Fan's parents, but Ani had turned her attention away from her sons and on to me.

“So you are the one that has distracted Wu Fan from me?” she asked. I felt guilt immediately and began apologizing. She laughed lightly and told me it was okay.

“It's a good thing Minseok, he needed someone beside him.” her hand naturally reached out to pat his cheek. He smiled at her and held her hand there. Luhan moved from his seat and sat down next to Ani, leaning in to her and demanding attention. Yixing followed this action; he pushed her hand away from Wu Fan's face and sat on her other side. They both pouted at her, and she laughed. She reached for the coconut balls I had made and gave them one each.

“Brats.” I murmured. Yixing stuck his tongue at me but bit in to his treat anyway. Wu Fan rolled his eyes at his friend. He and Jongdae traded seats, and Jongdae got to be a little closer to his adopted mother who fluffed his hair and he began to speak to her in Mandarin as well.

Wu Fan snuggled next to me on the couch, his arm around me and his kissed my temple.

“She's great right?” he asked.

“She's wonderful.” I assured. He sighed and relaxed next to me, kissing my temple over and over again with love and playing with my hair. The air seemed so light and warm in the house, and the atmosphere was so bright and happy that I had never expected it to take such a turn so quickly.

Ani was in the middle of talking to Yixing, and she happened to glance our way. She saw me and Wu Fan together on the couch, cuddled close and sharing small kisses.

Her eyes darkened, and her tone dropped low and turned deadly.

“Wu Fan.” she called. Like a mother calling her child when they were in trouble. I felt him tense around me. He answered her, and then she began to speak. She was angry, irritated, upset. She spoke fast and sharply in Chinese. Wu Fan's face hardened, his eyes looked to the floor in what I interpreted as shame. When she was done, she stood up, patting Luhan on the head as she walked away.

“What was that? Did I do something?” I wondered in fear. It was Yixing who shook his head and answered me. Wu Fan was still glaring at the ground.

“She just...she's telling him what he should and shouldn't do...just stuff.” Yixing said. I believed him. I already knew Wu Fan didn't like to be told what to do or be made fun of. I rubbed small circles around his back and asked if he was okay. He stood up quickly and stormed in to the direction Ani had disappeared in to. I threw a questioning gaze to the trio. And then I heard raised voices not far away. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it sounded exactly as Yixing had said. Ani was telling him what to do, and Wu Fan wasn't liking it. I jumped in surprise when Wu Fan came storming back in to the room, “Minseok come with me outside.” he growled as he paused momentarily over me. I was shocked and confused, what had gone wrong so fast?

“Minseok, come with me. Now.” his voice was wavering with frustration.

“Wu Fan what happ—“

“Minseok! Now!” he shouted loudly and made me jump to standing position. I wasn't use to this, to seeing this side of my husband. When he was upset he held it all in and talked it out, he'd never yelled at me before. It scared me.

He gripped my wrist tightly and pulled me with him as he made his way outside. I was whimpering in fear, I wasn't sure what he would or could do when he was upset. He pulled me until we were finally outside on the porch. He let go of my wrist and took his fist to a nearby wooden pillar. A loud smack resonated through the air followed by his grunt. I stood still, unsure of what to do.

He was breathing deeply and in frustration. His chest rose rapidly and his eyes were dark. I could see both his fists were clenched tightly, the one he had punched the wood with was a bruised pink now.

“I'm sorry, I'm just...I needed to get out of there.” he breathed. I nodded, even though he didn't see it. He was still staring at the ground.

“What happened?” I asked. His eyes snapped up to look at me. There was a different emotion that I didn't understand. It was guilt. I didn't understand why he would feel guilty though. Was it because we had been to close in Ani's house? Had we insulted her in someway?

“It's not your fault, if that's what you're thinking.” he assured. I put my own worries to rest, but my worries for him still remained. He came over to me finally and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I seemed to be his comfort, so I gladly hugged him back and let him relax in my arms.

“Walk with me?” he asked. I nodded and he held my hand and we began to walk in the field in front of the house. He was quiet for some time, just holding my hand as we walked. I stopped him as we reached a full patch of dandelions and pulled him to me.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked. He kissed my lips tenderly and touched our foreheads. He was looking at me, really looking at me.

“I'll be fine. I have you.” he said. My blush began creeping in to my cheeks and I laughed at him.

“What happened? Why is Ani upset with you?” I questioned. His lips tightened, but he still answered me anyway. Although I wasn't fully satisfied with the answer.

“She's just being a mother. Trying to make me do things. It's not something I want to discuss right now.” he sighed against my forehead. I wanted an answer. And for a moment the small tug at my anxiety wanted to force him to answer me. But I felt the need to comfort him more. He was upset, and I usually didn't see this side of him. I wanted him to feel secure with me, relaxed and protected. So I let it go, I kiss him lightly and hugged him.

“I'm here for you, and I already promised to stay by your side. If you ever need to talk about it I'm here for you.” I assured. His eyes were set ablaze with these words, I had triggered something with in him. He started kissing me and his mouth was forceful; so much that it made me want to move away. But he held me tightly in place. I gasped out loud when he bit down on my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to complain but his tongue suddenly came forward and entered.

A shock of pleasure ran through me as his tongue explored my mouth. It was a foreign feeling and I clung to him as my knees grew week. He held me up and continued his movements, he on my bottom lip seductively and then my top, his tongue was hot in my mouth and I let out a small noise that shocked me. I didn't know I could make such noises. It seemed to encourage him, I felt his teeth nip at my lips again, dragging against the sensitive skin.

“Ah!” I gasped when I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my tank. His thumbs massaged my pelvis lightly, ghosting over my skin and making goose bumps rattle my body. The heat that was pooling in my lower regions was making me lose focus. His mouth finally left mine, but it was far from over. He moved down to my neck. He continued to kiss and bite tenderly, but he added and in to it. I was panting against his neck, enjoying this but a little overwhelmed as well. I kept making little noises as the pleasure continued to run through my body. Starting at where his mouth was connected to my skin and running out as electricity to my finger tips and toes. When his hands moved up towards my chest I came back to sanity and I tried to push away from his hold.

“Wu Fan, we should go back.” I panted. I cried out as he bit down harshly on the skin he'd been working on for a few seconds now. His tongue lazily massaged the same spot before he finally pulled back. His eyes were so dark, and his eyelids were laying low and heavy. He was unbelievably y that way. He smiled down at me.

“You look cute this way. I should make you look this way more often.” he mused.

“Look like what?” I asked.

“In a few words...a mess.” he purred. I gulped audibly. He only chuckled at me and kissed my forehead. He didn't want to go in yet, so we walked around in the field. We held hands like usual, and I asked him about his childhood with Ani. He told me about how she was so easy to love, so easy to trust. She knew all of them like they were really her children.

“In a way she replaced us with her deceased son. It took her awhile, but when our mothers had us, and then we had them no more, she gained four sons instead.” he concluded. It was true, and I was happy to hear that her suffering wasn't as bad as I had thought. These four boys had healed her in a small way. And she had healed them as well. I didn't know everything yet, but at that time it didn't really matter. They were a family and they had been there for each other. Whatever pain Wu Fan had suffered in the past seemed to be over now.

Night fell upon us, and I finally tugged Wu Fan back inside. He was a little hesitant, but Ani was in a better mood. She gave him a look that said 'we will deal with this later' and had us all sit down for dinner. She asked me about myself, if I was comfortable so far, what did I miss most about my home? I told her that I was very happy here, that her sons had made it easy to fall in love with this island. Did I miss home? Of course, I thought about it everyday, but I had fallen for Wu Fan, I'd fallen for my new family, and I didn't want to leave them. After dinner we finished off the coconut balls, and sat out on her porch. Come to find out it was Ani that had started their little meetings way back when. She told me how of course as children they used to fight, they used to be insecure. So she'd made an effort to sit them all down at the end of the day and have them talk it out. And after they were done they could go to sleep with no regrets or grudges.

“Minseok what did you love most about today?” she asked me. It was much later in the night, I was sitting in Wu Fan's lap, although he was asleep now. They'd all fallen asleep on the porch. Luhan's head rested in Ani's lap and he clung to her like a small child would. Yixing and Jongdae were spooning nearby, Yixing's strong arms wrapped around Jongdae protectively. Only Ani and I were left awake.

“I loved meeting you, I'm glad I did.” I said. She smiled at me, but she believed I was only trying to flatter her.

“No, really I am. You're apart of Wu Fan's history. And I'm realizing I don't know so much about him as he does about me.” I admitted.

Her smile left her face. Her features stilled, and she chose her words carefully.

“You will learn much more about him in time. Wu Fan has lived a long life in such short years. He's lost many people in his lifetime. He's experienced things as a child that he dealt with as an adult. Remember Minseok, and you must remember these things above all else; he is young and stubborn. When he gets extremely angry he can burst like a volcano. His emotions run deep like a river. They are beautiful but they can come crashing downstream and cause him to flood and be torn down. In then end you must understand that he is just a human.” her words were like a poem. A dark poem that felt like there was an underlying warning in. something I needed to know, but I didn't quite understand. I agreed with her words anyway. Her eyes sparkled a bit, I realized they were tears forming.

“I'm so glad he has you. He needed you. You love him?” she asked. I nodded.

“You're happy with him? He treats you well?”she questioned. I nodded.

“Good. May I ask a favor of you Minseok?” she inquired. I nodded. Her love for him was in her tears, and her gently grip on my hand. I would do anything she asked of me.

“Don't give up on him. Don't leave him. No matter what happens don't leave his side.” she sounded like she was begging. As if I had some sort of power over her, her voice quivered and shook, her grip on my hand tightened with her tear flowing swiftly down her cheeks. She was asking me not to leave her son, a boy she'd basically raised as her own. She was asking me to stick beside him and be there for him in the hardest of times. I couldn't say no to that.

“Of course. I'll never leave him.” I confided. She patted my cheek and kissed my hand.

“May I ask you a few questions?” I checked. She quickly wiped her tears and told me to go ahead. The question had been running through my head since Jongdae had talked to me earlier that day.

“What happened, to their parents?” I spoke slowly and carefully. I wasn't sure if she would cut me off and tell me nothing. But she sighed, looked down at the boy's head in her lap and softly caressed his hair. Luhan snuggled closer to her leg, not letting go anytime soon.

“Luhan and Wu Fan's parents left. It was Luhan's mother who first left. She didn't want to stay here anymore. After living in slavery and losing her daughter, she wanted so badly to leave. She ran away on her own. One morning she just wasn't in her hut. His father became depressed, he too wanted to leave. And he wanted to take Luhan with him. But Luhan for some reason didn't want to go. He asked his father to stay here with him, but he left anyway.” she said. Her fingers ran gently over and over again through Luhan's hair. She turned her gaze to Wu Fan who snored lightly now beside me. I had moved out of his lap awhile ago, but his arms still found my waist even in his sleep.

“Wu Fan's mother did not belong here. She was a missionary’s daughter. Canadian. The only reason his father was taken out of slavery was because she fell in love with him. She married a Chinese slave and freed him. When Wu Fan was born all seemed good and well. But her family came for her, they wanted her to move back to the Americas. Of course she was willing to go, as long as she could take her family with her. But that was out of the question. Trust me when I say they dragged her away kicking and screaming. His father raised him until he was about 12, and then he died. A fish boat accident.” I moved Wu Fan's head from the porch floor and placed it in my lap. I petted his soft hair, looking down at my husband who had been so much at such a young age.

“Yixing and Jongdae's parents both died in a flash flood. They were hiking back to the shore, out of the valleys where the sugarcane fields were. The rain had been heavy for several days. And the land gave way, taking both of Yixing's parents and Jongdae's mother with it.” she finished off.

My heart was heavy. They had all lost their families. They had all been left behind, whether by force, choice, or by fates cruel hand. And it was this woman, who had also lost a part of her, that had brought them back together.

“I wish you were my mother.” I blurted. I didn't know I would say that, but I didn't regret it either.

“But I am glad you were not. I wouldn't have wanted to give up such a precious child to Kane.” she murmured.

“You regret it? Do you still think about him?” I asked. She nodded.

“Every day. I still wish with all my might, that I could have found a way. But here I am. And here they all are. And here you are. And for now, for this day, I am glad it is this way. You should sleep now Minseok, get some rest.” she ordered. I yawned loudly and fell back next to Wu Fan. His body automatically encased me. I wanted to ask Ani one more thing, just one more. I wanted to know why she had grown so upset that day, why had she scolded Wu Fan so suddenly. But my eyelids were heavy and Wu Fan's body was so warm. I scooted closer to him and closed my eyes.

If only I'd asked her the question, maybe then I would have been able to forgive.

I like to think that if I'd stayed awake and asked her, she would have told me in a calm and quiet way. She would have made me understand. And I would have found a way to keep the promise I'd made her. I would have stayed there with Wu Fan forever.

I should have asked...