No. I would not allow this. I don't care for her. I don't like her. I hate her.

Tao was running from these men, who wanted her dead. These dangerous men hungry for blood and she was leading them straight to us. She was bringing that danger here, to my home, to my family.

Such hatred I had for her. Such distaste. How dare she come back here to my home where she is not wanted. And bring danger here? Where my son was?

“She can't come here. I won't let her.” I spat. Wu Fan rolled his eyes at me.

“Minseok I can't just let them kill her.” he argued weakly. I could tell he didn't want her anywhere near us either. And yet my stupid husband wanted to help her.

“Yes you can. She is not placing one foot in this house.” I could feel my hot tears running down my cheeks. Tao was not coming in to my home to ruin everything I had. This was my home, my family, my son.

“Minseok, I know. I know what you're thinking. Why do you think I'm so upset? But we can't just turn her away. It's wrong. We—“

“I don't care if it's wrong! I don't give a ! We are not helping her! You will not help her!” I screamed back. My blood was boiling.

If her death meant my son's safety, then that's what it meant.

“Minseok!” Wu Fan roared. I felt myself step down a tiny bit. The small fear of my husband's anger pushed me back.

But I heard Rui calling for me again, a small cry in his voice and I stepped right back up.

“I will not turn her away. I can't Minseok. I'll do what I can. I'll try and get her away from us before they come after her. I promise.” his hands running up my arms were not so comforting. His arms should always feel comforting. But they didn't. I wanted him to agree with me. I wanted him to chose my decision.

It felt like he was choosing her over us. Over me, over Rui. He was choosing Tao, his still legal wife who he supposedly hated over me and Rui. I asked what I didn't want to hear the answer to, with tears forming in my eyes I asked out of desperation.

“So you'll help her. You'll bring her in to our home, let her bring danger to our son? Even though I'm telling you, Wu Fan I do not want her in our home? This is not regular 'help me I'm low on money'. You just told me these men kill people. And yet you...why?” I gasped with a shaky breath. He looked down on me, his eyes full of caution. His words cut through me. They cut through my trust for him. They pushed me away from him.

“Because at one point she was my friend. I still care for her as my friend. Bringing her here doesn't mean I want Rui to be in danger Minseok. It means I'm doing the right thing. Please understand this; I love you. I love our son. I will do everything in my power to keep you two safe. But I'm going to help Tao, because it's the right thing to do.” he kept his tone low and even, a hand placed on my shoulder. He was talking to me like I was a child, slowly and carefully to make sure I understood everything.

All that he'd said, and only one part was stuck in my mind, running around in circles.

I still care for her...

And that was when the small seed of doubt for my husband's love was planted.

“If those men end up here, if my son is put in harms way,” I could hear my voice low and angry, I was sneering at him, hissing. I was warning him. And I meant it,

“I will leave you. Really leave you, and I will never come back.”

~ ~ ~

I wasn't use to sleeping this way. With no arms wrapped around me. Facing the wall was something different. I didn't know if Wu Fan was sleeping facing my back or turned around but I didn't care.

I was angry with him. And I'd been very vocal about my anger for many weeks, which led to us arguing. A lot. So much that I actually sat away from him at the dinner table, and slept with my back to him. The tension between us was overbearing for everyone in the house. When the trio had heard of what was going on, they didn't exactly voice their opinions. That frustrated me to no end. They stayed out of it, but informed us that they'd be there to support whatever our decision was. The only problem was that we couldn't come to an agreement.

I didn't want Tao to come here at all. And he did. Even if it was 'the right thing to do' I didn't want it to happen no matter what.

We tried to keep our arguments hidden from Rui, but he could feel it. He could sense something was wrong between us.

I literally almost burst in to tears at one point; I had eaten another meal in silence, Wu Fan as well. Lay had taken the task of helping Rui eat. I'd gotten up with out a word and gone to wash my dish just as Wu Fan got up and made his way to our bedroom. My little gem sprang out of his seat with a small and desperate wail, crying after his Papa. I looked up in panic as did Wu Fan.

And my little gem tugged at his Papa's pants pulling him along until they reached me. My little gem held one of Wu Fan's legs and on to one of mine, trying to get make us stay together. It broke my heart. He knew.

For an hour or two Wu Fan and I faked it, for my baby's sake. We cuddled him on the couch together and I let Wu Fan kiss my cheek a few times. But when he fell asleep I stood up and set myself as far apart from Wu Fan as possible.

He tried to talk to me again. And I didn't want to listen. Because whatever he had to say to me made me angry and upset.

I didn't understand how he could do this. Bring her here, take her in.

It would've been different if she'd just had money problems, been homeless and needed a quick temporary home. I would have been annoyed, but willing.

This was not that kind of situation though. This threatened me. This threatened my son. This threatened my life here.

Wu Fan had tried a million times to talk to me again, calm me down, make me see it his way. And I'd ignored him. I'd said what I meant, and that was it. Which led to our cold stares, facing opposite ways in bed. To my wishing of being held again.

Fine, she'd come her. He'd help her however he could.

But if those men showed up at our doorstep...

A spike of anger flashed through my body. I gripped my pillow tighter as I bit my bottom lip.

But it wasn't just anger was it? Because that wasn't my first emotion. My first emotion was sadness. I was sad because I felt like he'd chosen her over me. The rational side of me thought it was a bit immature, to think Wu Fan, who'd loved me and cared for me all this time was really picking her over me. He was doing the right thing. But that's not what the seed of doubt told me. The seed of doubt sprouted small roots of jealousy and fear. Those roots grew deeper and longer, sipping every ounce of emotion I had for water. And with that water a small bud bloomed.

Anger.

How could he do this to me? How could he pick her over me? Wasn't I his husband, the one he'd loved, the one he had a son with?

Wasn't I the one he'd ing ordered? Wasn't it our marriage that he'd personally arranged for?

She was the one he'd hated, the one he'd been so happy when she'd left.

I still care for her...

I felt hot tears falling down from my eyes and I tried to muffle the sound of my sniffles. But the more I cried the more I wanted scream, the more I tried to keep my screaming at bay the louder it wanted to be. I was choking on my own air, hoping I wouldn't wake the sleeping man beside me. But all I really wanted to do was start crying and screaming, tell him to agree with me and to listen to me. I didn't want her coming here, I wanted her as far from us as possible.

“Minseok?” the deep voice made me freeze instantly, my tears still falling steadily. I didn't answer him, but of course he knew I was awake and I felt my skin tingle as he scooted closer to me. When his arm gingerly came over to pull me to him. I didn't fight or resist as his body molded to my form. I wasn't going to lie, I'd missed being held like this. It was always the same when Wu Fan held me so tightly like this; like he was never going to let me go, like I'd leave if he let go.

“Don't cry” he whispered at the back of my neck. The seed of doubt began to rot a little bit. How could he comfort me, after this whole time of me ignoring him, of treating him coldly and glaring at him all day. After all of my mean gestures, of treating him badly, he still held me and tried to comfort me. Suddenly I couldn't feel angry at him anymore. A little upset in general yes, and still sad...but there was something else I was feeling. And I could tell by the way my heart raced that I wasn't going to admit I was feeling this out loud.

“Don't be afraid Minseok, I love you.” he kissed my neck gently.

Yes, I was afraid. So very afraid of everything that was to come. I didn't want to be, but I was. I was scared of so many things it made me weak, and my seed of doubt only made things worse.

I was afraid of Tao coming here. Would Wu Fan's heart change? Would she take my life away? How much danger would my son be in? I didn't even want to think of the worst things that could happen to my little gem.

With a huff of hot air I turned over and faced my very awake husband. He was eagerly making eye contact with me, I felt his embrace tighten as I too wrapped my arms around his torso.

“Trust me please,” he whispered kissed to my forehead. My crying came forward finally, loud and clear. I hid my face in his chest as I cried, my fingernails dug in to his back my sobs ran through me. Trust him? How could I trust him when he was bringing danger right to me?

“I can't.” I chocked out. Immediately his hands came up to cup my face and make me look him in the eye. His stare was worried and determined. I felt his thumb brushing away my the wetness of my cheeks. I sniffled and tried to push him away. He was irritating me now. He wanted me to freaking trust him, yet he wanted to let his ex-wife come here with a band of killing men right behind her.

Trust? I could find none.

He was a lot stronger than me, he swiftly resisted my push and pulled me flush against him.

“Why not?” he asked, a small growl in his throat. I didn't answer. Really? Why not?

My hands pushed again on his chest, trying to get myself away from him. But I couldn't. Not when he held on to me like that, like before when I'd tried to leave him. He'd held on to me with such determination. Even now, I just wanted to freaking turn away from him but no. His iron grip kept me in place and wouldn't let me turn away. Plus, I was so very in love with him. It's hard to fight against the one you love, to really push away from them.

“Trust me Minseok.” he ordered as I continued to cry try to get away from him. I tried to keep it down, my little gem was after all a few feet away in his small room.

“No. I can't.” I spat and gasped in surprise when he jumped on top of me, pinning my arms by my head and straddling me. I glared up at him, as he glared down at me. His eye still told me he was worried, determined. He was also distraught.

“Why can't you trust me?” he whispered. I sighed as fresh tears moistened my irritated eyes. My nose must be pink I thought absently, and I wanted to wipe my nose, which brought on more annoyance since Wu Fan was holding my arms down.

“Let me go.” I demanded in a small voice. He didn't move. I tried pulling my arms from his grasp, but found myself weak against him. The waterfalls of tears blurred my vision. A broken and silent cry left my mouth as I turned my face away from him.

“Minseok,” his voice shook with panic at my sudden outburst. I'd been crying already yes, but it was obvious I'd reached my breaking point, “Please trust me. I want you to trust me!” he begged. Oh he wanted me to trust him? When he was pushing me and our child in to direct danger?

“Then don't let her come here!” I screamed loudly, my neck lifting off of the bed. He inched back from me, his hold on me loosening. Good, I had his full attention.

“Don't you get it? You're picking her over me! Over Rui! You care for her, but you're supposed to love me! Don't you love Rui? I can't trust you if you're putting Rui in danger, that's not the right thing to do! Putting my son in danger is not the ing right thing to do you idiot!” I was hitting his chest, I was screaming so loudly surely my baby had woken up. But I could see it in Wu Fan's eyes as I kept talking. It was finally hitting him. I took deep breaths, steadying my heart and gripping his shoulders tightly. Our eyes locked.

“Hurting me is not the right thing to do Wu Fan.” I cried.

He collapsed on to me. He held me tightly. He apologized to me. He took it back, he'd write to Tao in the morning and tell her she wasn't welcome.

When we'd both calmed down, our breathing even and our lips swollen from kissing, I got up to check on my little gem. Yes he was awake, and I wiped away the small drops of water falling from his eyes. I had to rock him back to sleep again. When I returned to bed Wu Fan enveloped me in his familiar embrace. I sighed as the longing for his arms around me again was satisfied.

“I'm sorry Minseok. I love you. I never want to hurt you.” he said against my lips. I nodded.

“Don't leave me. I'll make sure everything is okay.” I moaned lightly as his tongue entered my mouth.

“Don't be afraid,” I bit my lip as his hand began massaging my crotch, “I'm right here.” I kissed him with vigor just as his hand finally pulled at my underwear and stripped them from my body.

I can honestly say we ed that night. We didn't make love.

As he carried me from our bedroom to the living room and pushed me against a wall, shoved his fingers inside of me, I knew we weren't making love. This wasn't gentle, romantic, beautiful. We'd been so angry with one another, upset and frustrated. All these pent up emotion finally came to the surface, they morphed together and became lust.

I bit down on his lip hard, wrapping my legs around his waist. I could feel the pain in my back and at the back of my skull as my body was knocked in to the wooden wall repeatedly. His s were fast and hard, he slammed in to me every time and I saw stars. I dug my nails in to his back, in to his biceps and told him to me harder and faster. He jacked me off roughly until I came while biting in to his shoulder. And he came in to me with a low growl.

We laid on one of the couches for a while, the pale moonlight giving a dim glow to the living room. I rested my head on his chest that had a thin sheet of sweat making his skin shimmer.

“I'm sorry for ignoring you.” I apologized with a quick to his . His body jerked lightly and he laughed. His chest rumbled against my ear and I smiled.

“I'm sorry for not listening to you.” he replied.

~ ~ ~

I tried very hard to ignore the curious stares before me. My smile widened as Rui showed me how he could use his chopsticks properly with his rice. He puffed his cheeks out as more rice was stuffed in to his mouth.

“So.” Jongdae stated. I gulped audibly, and I felt Wu Fan's arm around my waist stiffen. I pretended I was too busy with Rui and his rice to look up at the three men who stared at us with knowing looks. Lu Han was biting back his grin, the smirk on Jongdae's face was obvious, and Yixing's eyebrow couldn't get much higher.

“Yes?” Wu Fan answered when I'd stayed silent. I cooed at my baby who held his little cup with two hands like a good boy. The silence grew, each man staring Wu Fan down, waiting for him to admit to what obviously had taken place. My husband stayed stoic, and finally the damn busted.

“Well did you guys make up or what?” Luhan blurted with a grin.

“That's definitely not a bug bite on Minseok's neck.” Jongdae pointed an accusing finger at me.

“You know you have visible scratch marks right?” Yixing aimed his question at Wu Fan. I saw the visible twitch in Wu Fan's jaw. Oh how lovely the trio could be sometimes.

“That's none of your business.” he growled.

Well, there was their answer.

“Finally! Ugh I've been living in a torture house!” Luhan gasped for air. Rui started giggling next to me. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. It was not a torture house...

With some prying Wu Fan and I admitted that yes we'd made up, and that we'd decided to not welcome Tao in to our home. No surprise the trio was relieved. Luhan had a very vocal distaste for Tao as did Jongdae. Even though Yixing stayed quiet while we discussed it, he was visibly more relaxed.

“Mama?” my baby called me. I turned my attention to the four year old with chubby cheeks.

“What did you and Papa make last night?” he asked innocently. I heard someone from across the table begin to choke on their food, and someone else had spit out their drink. I didn't even want to know what my face looked like.

“Um...we...made...” I panicked and fell over my words. I snapped around to Wu Fan for help. He was stone faced with wide eyes. So no help there...

“They were making breakfast.” Yixing's calm voice pulled Rui's attention.

“Why at night?” Rui wondered. Yixing scooted closer to my son and leaned in to tell him more. I was so thankful for Yixing and his story telling skills in that moment.

“Because sometimes Mama and Papa get up so early in the morning it looks like it's night, but really the sun hasn't come out yet.” Yixing's voice held Rui right in it's palm. My little gem suddenly had a million questions; Why did the sun come out only at a certain time? Could you watch the sun rise? When did night become morning?

And the amazing Yixing answered every question to the best of his abilities with a calm and entrancing voice. By the end of their little conversation Rui had forgotten all out Wu Fan and I 'making something' and asked if we could watch the sun set that night. When we did, Wu Fan and the trio had one of their little meetings. We stayed up late that night, accept for Rui who fell asleep in Jongdae's arms. I didn't miss the way Yixing stared at his lover with my baby in his arms.

Wu Fan told us all that he'd sent the letter telling Tao he couldn't help her and to not come to this island at all. That he had a family to protect, but he wished her the best.

I let Yixing and Jongdae put Rui to bed, and Luhan trudged in to the living room and knocked out on one of the couches. After Yixing and Jongdae left my husband held my hand and we went to our bedroom. I was much more at peace now.

While Wu Fan was busy kissing my knuckles and each of my fingers, I searched for the seed of doubt that had planted itself earlier in the weeks. I couldn't find any trace of it as Wu Fan's arms held me. It seemed that the seed had been killed and removed.

I trusted Wu Fan with my life, my son's life. I loved him with everything I had. There was no reason to doubt his love for me.

But what I didn't know was that the seed hadn't actually died.

It had hidden itself. Deep in to my brain. It flattened and squished itself in a tiny piece of matter. And it waited. It waited patiently for what was to come.