by: ChibiMusicStar and -honey

Title — 3/5

Hmm. Too Cliche, but I understand it already by your title and the genre.

Description/Foreword — 5/10

Originality/Creativity — 4/10

Cliche, I have seen this plot and flow but I can see that you owed the plot alot. You even put something unique in there too.

Plot — 7/10

The plot is a great and I really like it but one thing disturbs me alot, It wasn't that developed. In your foreword/description, I can see that you doesn't revealed much and just put unnecessary details. Otherwise, Put away the unnecessary one then change it by putting some hints why she doesn't smile and all. Afterall, The plot is great and unique but it's all cliche like what just happened in the chapter one.

Grammar/Spelling — 10/10

I can see a minimal grammar mistakes otherwise, I doesn't see any in spelling since your sentence is deep. And since you have said that English is not your mother language then you can use MicroSoft word, It might help you alot.

Writing Skill/Flow — 17/20

The flow of the story is great. It wasn't that slow nor fast, Just normal but it would be more good if you blend it somehow. In some chapters, you should have put hints about the girl why she doesn't smile or pasts like flashbacks or something. Otherwise, Perfect!

Apperance — 15/20

The poster is great. The picture choosen is good. Textures and fonts are not that big nor small that can't be seen otherwise, your poster in perfect.

Overall Enjoyment — 4/10

I enjoy it alot.

Extra/Comments — 5/5

I like your writing style. Again put away the unnecessary things/details and just put the hints about her. Pay attention to the main story and not being too cliche. Good job by the way! Thanks for choosing me as your story reviewer! I hope you like it! Sorry being so strict but I'm just being honest.

Overall  Total:  70/100