verse fifteen

She stared at her face in the bathroom mirror. Her tousled hair stood out, as well as her kiss-swollen lips. She smiled, but it wasn’t anything happy or blissful, instead it was a sad, regretful smile. Scenes from the previous night played in her mind – they made her head spin, not from joy but from something entirely different.

She shook her head, grabbed her toothbrush from the cup on the counter, then filled the latter with tap water. She brushed her teeth nonchalantly, trying her hardest to calm her nerves down – and maybe even compose a short dialogue to say to Jaejoong back in the bedroom.

 She closed her eyes with a groan. This wasn’t something new, but she felt like it was somewhat unfamiliar to her. She’d thought of Jaejoong so many times before, fantasizing about him and her, together – but there was something reality lacked, something that she could only get from her dreams.

In her dreams, there was love. She loved him and he loved her. Every time they were one, it was precisely because of the emotion that both their hearts shared. Unfortunately, the real world was cruel. It was cruel to both her and Jaejoong.

So why couldn’t they just get together… and heal each other?

She opened her eyes and rinsed the toothbrush. She gurgled twice before reaching for the facial scrub and washed her face. As she lathered the foamy concoction on her cheeks, she nodded reassuringly at herself.

“It’s alright, Yeonhee ah. You aren’t doing anything wrong,” she said, and then proceeded to rinsing her face. When everything was done, and she was wrapped in a soft robe, she once again talked. “Besides, it’s not like you’re stealing him from someone.”

Yeonhee opened the bathroom door to find Jaejoong half dressed, standing a foot away from her dishevelled bed. He pulled his pants up his legs, turned his head here and there as if searching for something. He caught Yeonhee’s stare – fastened his pants on his waist – and stopped all other movements. It looked as if he was waiting for her to say something – that what happened the night before was a mistake and that they should just forget it, most likely than not – but didn’t get anything. He tried to smile, the small twitch of the corner of his lip said so, but she didn’t smile back.

It was confusing. Yeonhee’s head spun and her heart was beating so much faster than normal. She knew she had to say something – anything to make him stay – but she didn’t know what. She took another deep breath and forced a smile on her face.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Yeonhee asked. She walked towards the other side of the bed and picked up Jaejoong’s shirt – the one which was hastily discarded the night before – walked back and handed it to him. She, then, took his hand in hers and dragged him – very gently – towards the kitchen. “Come on, oppa, I’m sure I can whip up something you’ll like.”

Yeonhee sat Jaejoong on one of that chairs before she turned towards the refrigerator. She pulled one door open, peeking inside to look for what was suitable for a good breakfast. She took a couple of eggs, a carton of milk, some greens and bell peppers, and a packet of cold cut from the chiller. Yeonhee then turned the stove top on, set the skillet above it. She cut the edge of the packet wrapper while the waiting for the skillet to heat up. She lined up several pieces of bacon on it before proceeding on slicing and dicing the vegetables for the omelette.

Jaejoong watched from the table. He watched as her lithe form gracefully accomplished her tasks. He watched her flip the eggs into the pan, and the silent smile she wore when she was able to catch it again. He watched with awe because right in front of him was a remarkable woman – a friend who never turned her back on him. Yet, Jaejoong still couldn’t deny the fact that his heart longed for someone other than this one before him. He shook his head when memories of the day before started to swarm in his mind. Maybe. Maybe he really didn’t have a chance with her.

“Here you go,” Yeonhee said, setting a plate of perfectly crisp bacon and a slice of omelette on the table before him. “Hold on for the coffee, the machine is a bit slow.”

“I’m going back to the office after this,” Jaejoong stated, after a soft thank you. “You have plans for today?”

Yeonhee poured freshly brewed coffee into a couple of cups, then mixed a teaspoon of sugar into Jaejoong’s cup and a little creamer into her own. She turned back to the table and sat on her side. “Can I go with you?”

Jaejoong looked up in surprise. He was about to take a bite of his meal when she asked her question. “Yeonhee, I don’t think – you’ll only get hurt if we keep up with this.”

“I want to hurt with you, oppa,” she responded, her eyes wide with innocent sincerity. “I want to be beside you when you hurt even though it hurts me as well. Call me a masochist, but I’m not changing my mind.”

“Yeonhee –“

“I want to help you, oppa. I know I can’t make you happy, but at least give me a chance to comfort you. Give me a chance to protect you from even more heart break.”

She was begging him. Jaejoong always known how true Yeonhee was. She was always sincere and honest, especially with how she felt. He knew she loved him – that was the reason why they became this. Friends with benefit. Although the benefits were mostly on his part, he never wanted to hurt her and maybe he really should start now.

Forgetting his first love and the love of his life was impossible, Jaejoong believed. But maybe with some help, he’d be able to conquer it.

Yeonhee took a bath after breakfast. She did her best to make it fast – afraid that when she steps back into her bedroom, he’d already be gone. So the moment she had her robe wrapped around her body, she nearly ran out the door.

Jaejoong was still there. He sat on Yeonhee’s bed, the morning newspaper spread out in front of him. Yeonhee’s heart stopped at that scene – and when it started beating again, it did so with so much speed and force that she had to put her hand on her chest to calm down the thumping.

“I’ll just be a few minutes more,” Yeonhee began, “sorry to keep you waiting.”

When Jaejoong finally looked up at Yeonhee, he tilted his head in question. “Oh, you’re done?”

She stared at him for a while, not even realizing that he had talked to her. Then he called her named again and that seemed to wake her from her trance.

“Yes,” she answered. “Are you going to be in the office the whole day?” she asked back.

“My EA called while you were in there,” he started while Yeonhee rummaged through her closet. “I don’t have any meetings today, but I do have several documents that I have to look through.”

“Oh. Then I guess I won’t bother you. I’ll go see Changmin instead; maybe we can get some work done while I’m there.” Yeonhee said as she lathered lotion on her thighs when she spoke. Then she proceeded putting on a chic dress she hanged on her closet door.

Jaejoong watched her. It was the first time he ever did. Usually, he’d just up and takes his leave the moment he wakes up. He never realized how sensual dressing up could be. Even her putting earrings seemed like a turn on. And she’d glance at him from the mirror of her vanity with a shy smile on her face.

“Just a few more minutes.”

Jaejoong dismissed it with a wave of his hand. They had all the time in the world, it seemed to say.

But Yeonhee did her best to be quick. So when she sprayed a good amount of perfume on her neck and on her wrists, she was already on her feet. She picked up all the things she thought she’d need for the day and gracefully dumped them all in her bag. She did a mental checklist as she zipped it up and did a final check on her appearance before she turned back to Jaejoong.

“All done!” she stated, a bit too excitedly, in her opinion.

She hoped he didn’t notice.

“Alright, let’s go.”

It was a very quiet ride to the Jang mansion. Jaejoong concentrated on the road ahead while Yeonhee tried to organize her thoughts. It was a very companionable silence, both of them very much at ease with each other.

Jaejoong led Yeonhee through the driveway and into the house where they were greeted by his aunt.

“We’re just about to have breakfast. Why don’t you join us, Yeonhee dear?” Aunt Jang asked, almost dragging Yeonhee to the dining room.

“Actually, Auntie, I already had breakfast, but I’m up for some tea,” Yeonhee replied with a bright smile on her lips.

The older woman nodded and waved the helper to make some tea for the younger.

“It’s been so long since you’ve visited us, dear. You didn’t even tell us that you were going out of town.”

“It was a sudden decision, Auntie. I even left my mobile phone on accident. I only realized it when I was already at the hotel.”

“Ah, you clumsy girl! No wonder Jaejoong was so worried!”

“Jaejoong oppa was – worried?” the young composer asked with a tilt of her head.

“Of course, he was!” Auntie Jang exclaimed.

“Honey, don’t you think you’re saying too much? Let the young ones deal with their issues.”

“Aish, old man! Why do you always have to blow my horn?”

“Because you are such a busybody, my love.”

“Don’t mind your uncle, Yeonhee ah. He’s just being his usual boring self,” she explained with a wink as she scooped rice into a bowl and placed it in front of Yeonhee.

“Oh, but, Auntie, I can’t eat this!”

“Unnie, you know how Omma is,” said a voice by the archway that lead to the living room. “You’re just going to have to indulge her,” Riin stated before placing a good morning kiss on her grandfather’s forehead.

“Well, good morning to you, too, young lady,” her father interjected.

“Oh, appa!” she exclaimed, as if she remembered something. “There’s something I have to ask you... later.”

“Why can’t you ask him now?” her grandfather asked.

Riin shook her head, “Later.”

Yeonhee smiled at the family’s exchange, while she did her best to at least have a few spoonfuls of the food her Auntie Jang had laid out for her. She found it weird how she can be comfortable with them. It was as if the Jang family is actually an extension of Jaejoong, and she loved them, almost as much as she loves him.

“Auntie, next time, let’s go on a trip together.”

“Oh, dear God, child! Don’t give your aunt any ideas!” Uncle Jang exclaimed.

And the teasing argument continued until such time that Jaejoong appeared by the archway and made his way towards his grandfather. He kissed the old man on the top of his head, beckoned Yeonhee, and bid everyone a good morning and a goodbye.

“You’d help me, won’t you, Yeonhee ah?” Jaejoong finally said about ten minutes into their drive to the company. “You’d help me forget and move one?”

The look in his eyes nearly brought Yeonhee to tears. She shifted on her seat, placed her hand on Jaejoong’s and said, in the gentlest of voices, “I will do anything – everything in my power to make you happy.”

She held his hand tightly in hers. It was a while before she got a reaction from him.

Jaejoong nodded.

when i posted chapter 14 on soompi, i promised that the next chap would be suyin. lmao. but yeah, i had to have this out in the open. and yes. this chapter took a year to write. O_O

and i want to thank aunt ra for going through this for me... i'm sorry for taking so much of your time, even though it actually took you away from your homework and that's a good thing. i love ya~!